Just seen the agenda for the Service Managers Meeting
1. New Terms of reference for the Service Managers Meeting
2. Is there any point in having a Service Managers Meeting?
3. Date of next meeting

Apparently there are office politics going on with the new meeting chairperson setting item 1 and the "deposed" chairperson setting item 2.

Seen any adults acting like kids lately?
Alt: any office gossip?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:52, 86 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I heard that guy that works in my office sometimes just sits and reads a book instead of working.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:52, Reply)

soar froat

( thealternativefact, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:56, Reply)

You too?
Mine is definitely not happy.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Rubbish.
I did this last year - watched as my sickly colleagues languished at home during work time and then got ill in the holidays.
I want to be in bed with George RR Martin.
( thealternativefact, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:10, Reply)

The missus is still poorly and sounds like an asthmatic Joe Pasquale at the moment.
I hope to fuck I don't get it over the holidays. And that she's better before Christmas so she can enjoy rather than be flaked out all the time.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:12, Reply)

You should quarantine her in the shed
it's the only way
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Can't get in the bloody shed(s) (we have two) for all the crap that needs to be sorted through.
That I was going to do over the summer. And didn't.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:15, Reply)

set fire to them, claim on insurance
job done
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:15, Reply)

They are made of brick.
None of yer poncy wood structures here, mate, oh no. Brick stands up to high winds better.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Is there a large Wolf problem in Newcastle?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Nah, but there are an awful lot of pigs, especially in the Bigg Market.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Question is, who painted the poor buggers ornage?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:22, Reply)

I don't know what ornage is.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:25, Reply)

use that massive brain of yours

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:28, Reply)

It's too busy making a massive sandwich dissapear.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Well, we do have Barry here, so, y'know...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:22, Reply)

You will, mark my words.
All those sickly bastards who ensured we got it too by coughing and sneezing all over us for weeks will now be all perky at Christmas.
I hate them.
( thealternativefact, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Fucking inconsiderate blighters.
You're contaminated, stay the fuck at home and in bed for a couple of days, instead perpetuating your virulent mankiness to all and sundry, thereby reducing workplace effectiveness several times over and all because you're labouring under the misapprehension that you're indispensable.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:17, Reply)

How I laughed when some of those very same people were made compulsorarily redundant earlier this year.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Are you still laughing now?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Yes he is.
By this time of day, he's usually pissed.
( thealternativefact, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:24, Reply)

I took voluntary.
I also have an interview at three o' clock today. Woo, etc.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Best of luck old boy.
And of course, I hope you had a very Happy Birthday and got at least a blowie off the mrs.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Nope, as she was full of lurgy and couldn't breathe.
Rest of the day was good though. How I didn't wake up on Sunday feeling utterly ruined I don't know.

And thanks. It's part one of a hopefully two part process, the second of which will be in the new year. Only a three month contract though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Do send her my love and some squishy hugs and shit.
You know, the kind of thing birds like.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Seeds?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:45, Reply)

good luck

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Good luck!

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Seriously, Book 3 is so good
I love how it keeps looking like it's going to be really fomulaic and then totally changing.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:18, Reply)

I haven't had time to read much so I'm still starting Book Two.
Hurrah for spare time at Christmas!
( thealternativefact, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Oh man, so you don't know that *insert name of main character* totally dies

(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:28, Reply)

I've just finished the most recent one
Couldn't wait for it to come out in paperback.
Now I have to wait however many years 'til the next one. :(
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Yeah, I know I'm thinking that
but I've still got two a bit to get through so my wait is likely to be a few months shorter than yours. I hope he doesn't die before he finishes them. I'd be gutted.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:34, Reply)

He left it six years to get this one out
And he's a bit old and grey and beardy. But I think that might be a pre-requisite of the genre.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Robert Jordan dying
was the best thing that could have happened to the Wheel of Time series. George R R Martin is going the same way - too famous to be edited properly, and by christ does the new book need it. Book 4 too, for that matter.
(berk, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Hahahahaha!
Bastard friends.
( thealternativefact, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Just so long as he's not surfing the internet

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I literally have no idea what any of the above is.
Well actually I can grasp "date of next meeting". Just.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:53, Reply)

I have a job as well as my self employment too now.
I still don't know the difference between our monthly forum, our monthly meeting and our monthly check-in.
Edit, and I was fucking "volunteered" to help out at the Xmas lights switch on. £ hours helping kids cross the road. In the freezing cold.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I spend half of every weekend pretending to be a pirate,
so yes, me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Downloading films?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:03, Reply)

My daughter spends her every waking moment pretending to be the scourge of the seven seas.
It's wearing a bit thin now, if I'm honest.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Is she Somalian?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Could be worse
Could be zombies
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:11, Reply)

verily

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:12, Reply)

You're bringing up a larper to be sure.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:17, Reply)

oh man, now you've taken it too far, too far by half

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Hello naked ape, I'm hungover today.
Can you give me any tips on whining about my hangover on the board please.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Realluy what you want to do is be fairly repeative and give regualr updates on the ebbs and flows of your hangover
also make suer you tell everyone what a fucking legend you were last night by listing your alcohol intake.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:25, Reply)

I can't remember, it was "some pints" and "some cocktails"

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:28, Reply)

tails
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:30, Reply)

because you arrghhhhhhh
no one set up this joke but I'm still drunk.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:03, Reply)

This is the best idea I've heard for a while.
I shall wait until Saturday with high hopes.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:05, Reply)

You wear an eyepatch while getting bummed?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)

\o?
Yaharr
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Up the rrrrrse.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Have you taken her to the Cutty Sark yet?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Didn't that burn down?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:18, Reply)

This is what I meant, sorry
goldenhinde.com/#/pirate-parties/4542338672
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Pedo

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Not yet.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Pretty fucking badass if you ask me
Plus they do sleepovers occasionally too.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:31, Reply)

I had a line manager once
who called a meeting to discuss the content of the weekly team meeting. I shit you not. Looking back, he displayed classic signs of being somewhere on the autism spectrum, which may explain this.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:05, Reply)

We spant nearly an hour discussing the Christmas piss up,
then ended up with thw samr place they went last year.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:27, Reply)

"can we have a catch up"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)

"no, fuck off Nakers you spastic"

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:11, Reply)

lol
I wish they would actually say this
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:11, Reply)

"Can I have a quick word?"
"Yes, will 'velocity' do?"
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:13, Reply)

LOLOLOLOL!!!1111111!!!!!!!!1111

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:14, Reply)

my ops manager sends an e-mail out every week with all the important figures and such,
And then insists on a weekly conference call where she just reads the contents of the e-mail to us. In fact its becoming obvious to everyone that she might be surplus to requirements.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:34, Reply)

She'll be the last to go.
Who else will make you all redundant?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:35, Reply)

to be fair,
She's already admitted to us all that she has never run a restaurant, and that if any of us actually got seriously ill, and she had to cover she'd fuck it up. Her background is a customer service manager for fucking Disney Paris.
Also she's a bitch. And fat.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Nakedapes wife is like that too.

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:40, Reply)

poor old Rory, forever alone

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:41, Reply)

I remember when you were fun, what happened man

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:42, Reply)

LIFE happened man, life happend

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:43, Reply)

what?
She works for Disney? Poor woman.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:44, Reply)

I hate meetings
They hardly ever sort out any issues and mostly stop you from solving other ones. My bosses' boss talks over anyone and everyone then belittles you should you have the audacity to speak up when he is talking

In answer to the question, all the time!

Alt:
The ICT apprentice is now fucking the Customer Services apprentice
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:48, Reply)

I've been stuck in a meeting for an hour
and I come back here to find all we are talking about is meetings?

That's no good. I may as well actually so some work.

Then I wouldn't have had to spend an hour in a meeting about why I never do any work.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:49, Reply)

That isn't really what my meeting was about.
But it can only be a matter of time.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Meetings should be no longer than 30 mins long

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:50, Reply)

and should come with apple tango and BBQ Beef Hula Hoops

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:53, Reply)

They could last 60 mins if this was the case

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Ours come with Pizza quite often.
But the plus of that is tempered by the fact that a) it means I've made my lunch for no reason and will have to eat it for dinner, b) they are expecting me not to take a proper lunch break and c) it's going to be far longer than Sportscows 30 minute rule.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:55, Reply)

AND I BET YOUR DIAMOND SHOES ARE TOO TIGHT!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:58, Reply)