lying on my back in the caribbean over christmas
when a sea turtle popped its head out right next to me and just swam along with me for a bit. ignoring the hot black dude with the bread.

that was pretty joyous.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:33, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Is this a euphemism?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:34, Reply)

for what?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:36, Reply)

time on back=sex
turtles head=penis
swam along for a bit=pumped you up
ignoring the hot black dude=priceless.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:37, Reply)

oh dear god
that was a lot of effort dude!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:39, Reply)

*clutches at straws*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:40, Reply)

turtle's head is when you're dying for a shit.
She was having sex but needed a poo and James Brown's money meant nothing to either of them.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:41, Reply)

sex?
what's that again now? it's been about...

..... well, 6 weeks. but i've not had sex this year. that makes me a born-again virgin.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:42, Reply)

It doesn't work like that
6 weeks is sod all. I did Lent once.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:44, Reply)

Did you get it back?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:45, Reply)

i won't be getting it from that source again though
he's put himself on a 3 month sex/wanking detox. ffs.

maybe he IS gay.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:46, Reply)

You were dating Cliff Richard?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:47, Reply)

sex/wanking detox
hahahahahhahahah
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:47, Reply)

urgh
he thinks it will somehow make him better in bed for the next one, whoever she might be.

i really really really need to cut the contact now. i'm boring myself!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:48, Reply)

probably best if you do, prolonging the break up will only egascerbate the problem

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:50, Reply)

He'll be in there for 5 seconds before going off like a fire hose!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:52, Reply)

the gush

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:53, Reply)

First track I ever heard by one of the worst bands I've ever heard.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mgw0T9Guqp0
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:56, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwu57pivxZ4

oh yeah NSFW
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:58, Reply)

Keep the fuck away from him

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:49, Reply)

i know
you'd think i would prefer my hands out of the fire, but somehow they seem to think it's ok to jump back into it. i'm a worse muppet than he is.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:57, Reply)

are you still talking about wanking?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:01, Reply)

you guys are so nice, suggesting there's something wrong with him rather than her, when he's taking a detox after sex with her

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:07, Reply)

Well, she gets enough stick round here

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:14, Reply)

soon it'll be the only thing i am getting

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:24, Reply)

This is gash
He's clearly getting it from somewhere else. Probably a bloke.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:21, Reply)

he is definitely trying it
i give it about 5 days myself.

oh look.

it's 5 jan today...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:24, Reply)

Has he just phoned and arranged a date?
Happy new year, BTW.

First day back and I feel shit. Is it time to go home yet?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:25, Reply)

no, i have told him i am doing a 3 month detox
so won't be going out for 3 whole months.

no. you have another 3 hours. knuckle to it, man.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:27, Reply)

Good move
In those 3 months, you'll have plenty of time to find another unsuitable fuckwit.

Strictly speaking I could escape at 4. But I won't. Not because I'm a pro, but because my flexi-time is shot.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:29, Reply)

he's not that unsuitable
he's just a fuckwit!

that is an inspiring work ethic, right there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:36, Reply)

He likes the cock
That makes him unsuitable, I'd say.

I know, I might write a book about it. But I can't be arsed.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:47, Reply)

I've got an enforced 4-6 week one coming up, not happy about that
Also, isn't 6 weeks longer than Lent?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:53, Reply)

40 days and nights, so about the same really

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:01, Reply)

6 weeks?!
15 months for me :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:44, Reply)

Check it hasn't healed over

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:45, Reply)

I think it has
not that I'd know how to find it any more
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:47, Reply)

This is a common problem amongst menfolk

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:47, Reply)

Chuck some flour down there and wait for batter to form

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:48, Reply)

OK, now what?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:49, Reply)

Get a sausage

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:52, Reply)

knead until ready

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:52, Reply)

No need to add yeast#

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:59, Reply)

15 months!
Piece of piss!
( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:50, Reply)

oh you people with "morals"
you could have sex any time you want!
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:01, Reply)

True but quality is more important than quantity.

( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:02, Reply)

what makes quality?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:04, Reply)

GIRTH

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:11, Reply)

Unfortunately you don't find that out till afterwards.

( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:15, Reply)

so then what's the difference?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:16, Reply)

Well a nice clean boy with a big willy and who knows what to do with it.

( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:22, Reply)

you'll never find that if you're not looking for it

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:26, Reply)

if you're not looking for it in todmorden
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:27, Reply)

^this
Or within a fifty mile radius it seems.
( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:29, Reply)

but some is better than none

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:06, Reply)

the Russians have a saying
"Quantity has a quality of it's own".

Of course, they were talking about armies.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:38, Reply)

Kroney with a turtle's head

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:38, Reply)

are you enjoying that little image there?
are you? well? ARE YOU?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:40, Reply)

I am now

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:43, Reply)