Come on own up.
Who had penis for dinner?



I didn't.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 13:32, 258 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

nor me :(

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 13:37, Reply)

It's all a bit shit
And this is one of the reasons why.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 13:53, Reply)

CAVEY, CHECK OUT THE PICTURES ON MY FACEBOOK !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 14:22, Reply)

the ones of your house
or the ones of your 'fro?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 14:28, Reply)

The ones of my flat ! How AWESOME are they !??!!??!
I'm going to get another tripple-bar shelf and keep boxes of pasta/rice/cerial/etc in them.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 14:30, Reply)

it's looking pretty sweet
I'm not chefy, but I'm totally impressed with magnetic knife holders

also: nice knocker
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 14:33, Reply)

Thanks =D
Those magnetic knife things are awesome, and very hygeenic. My aunty was supposed to come around today and give me some of these, but she's not feeling too good, so she might come 'round tomorow. Taylor's Eye Whitness are fantastic value.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 14:40, Reply)

pretty colours
perhaps this is how I will deal with domestic things; find the ones in pretty colours.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 14:44, Reply)

also:
"Customers buy this item with Micky Flanagan Live: The Out Out Tour [DVD]"

haha
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 14:45, Reply)

Haha

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 15:17, Reply)

Were those rails hard to put up?
Did you have someone round to do that? I love those.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 14:34, Reply)

I got a fella round to do them for me along with the other stuff, but they looked really easy to do if you have the tools.
They're cheap, and modular, so you can put different things on: www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/categories/series/08006/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 14:38, Reply)

Ha, the guys that make the garlic zoom have loads of kitchen gadgets:
www.youtube.com/user/ChefnCorp
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 17:02, Reply)

Aww man
I've been sponsor-dumped by the child I sponsor.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 14:35, Reply)

Wait, what?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 15:17, Reply)

I sponsor a child, but
I got a letter saying him and his family have moved away and so aren't involved in the project any more, now I apparently sponsor a different one. Apparently this one likes running
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 15:38, Reply)

Ooh. A sponsored run.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 16:21, Reply)

I'm still in bed.
I'm still dead tired.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 16:20, Reply)

City are apparently being turned over by Crawley Town
I won't crow, we're struggling against Cardiff.

Alright?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 16:41, Reply)

We're one nil down and down to ten men.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 16:47, Reply)

Simon Cox just completed his hat-trick
so we're 4-2 up now. It might be crowing time!

I'm sure this will "leave you free to concentrate on the league." Because you were doing so well at that before...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 16:52, Reply)

I just had a three and a half hour nap.
First time I've fallen asleep without an audiobook on for months. My head has some weird thoughts.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 16:56, Reply)

I got up and had a shower and a bite to eat
But I'm still shattered.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 17:10, Reply)

i'm still a bit coldy
but I done some arching and I done some tidying
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 17:14, Reply)

How many is too many chicken wings? Turns out, 15 chicken wings plus two sides plus some dips is too many chicken wings...
... I have no idea what went through my head that compailed me to wait over an hour in nandos for 15 chicken wings.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 18:40, Reply)

what should I have for tea?
There is no penis here
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 18:51, Reply)

I'm going to get a takeout.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 18:54, Reply)

male prostitute?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 18:56, Reply)

Curry
What are you having?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:15, Reply)

I'm having Nasi Goreng, thanks for asking

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:15, Reply)

evenin' house whales, why are you house bound this evening?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:12, Reply)

I'm trying to send this email, but you can only email the company if you have an account.... I'll get a real address on monday.
To whom it may concern,


Today I was rather bored, so decided to wonder around my new local shopping precinct of Enfield Town. I have only just moved into the area after purchasing my first flat, it is a lovely one-bedroom-one-office sized flat, it is a lovely flat, perfect for one, just a stone’s throw from Enfield Chase train station. Ok, an Olympian’s stone throwing, but never the less, a stone’s throw.


On walking around, I saw a fantastic shop full of lava lamps and things with LEDs in, which I’m quite attracted too. One of the many items of wonder there was various ashtrays, for you see, I am a smoker. It’s a horrific habit, very costly not only financially but also health wise. When I was 17 I had a house party while my parents were away, and that was the evening when I started smoking. My mother always smoked and I saw it has a terrible habit, but I was hooked on the cause texture the smoke generates in my mouth, along with the relaxed feeling I once felt. It wasn’t too expensive at the time, about £3 for a 20 pack; I could even afford B&H and Marlboros. I had just started my first job as a web developer, I wasn’t very good, but I liked the smoking breaks with the older and bigger members of the team.


One rainy day home, I lived in Cockfosters at the time and worked in Potter’s Bar, I had £5 in my pocket and my mother asked me to buy her some smokes on the way home, this was not a problem because a packet was less than that back then. While waiting for the bus, I fancied one of these cigarettes, it was the first time I had ever had one on my own, I don’t know why I fancied one back then, I remember it was raining, and if I knew the addiction that would take hold, I would never have lit up. This was when the stupidity took over, for you see, on presenting the cigarettes to my mother, it was no longer a full packet. After a talk, I was an adult ready to make my own decisions, and truth be told, I enjoyed after work sitting with my mother, chatting and jawing, both of us smoking away in the kitchen.


Cut forward 15 years, and I’m back at the wondrous shop full of LEDs and lavalamps, and I see some ashtrays. A lot of them contain illicit drug paraphernalia, which is something I’m not really into. Please don’t take that as an insult if you enjoy “The Devil’s Weed” as it can be called, it wouldn’t surprise me with the quality of your product, but that is not something I wish to portray to my houseguests. It was then I saw the “Extinguishing Ashtray; Butt Bucket”. I thought a prayer has been answered, as it claims to

- Remove Odours
- Contains Smoke
- Keeps Butts out of Sight
- Extinguishes Cigarettes.

Wow, this is the kind of ashtray I want in my home, this ashtray looks like a castle, and a man’s home is his castle. That’s it, I’m getting one. I should buy more, but there are plenty in stock and there isn’t plenty left in my stock-funds, I you know what I mean.

I just got home from my shopping trip, and I thought I would take this bad-boy out for a spin, so I put my shopping away, got myself a glass of Robinsons, and lit up. My mind was elsewhere, watching the latest The Planet of the Apes movie (I like apes, and they feature heavily in this film, I don’t know how they got them to do all that stuff though, if you could help me find out, that would be great), anyway, I was watching the film when I smelt a chemical smell, I look around but see nothing. I then take the cigarette and inhale only for it to taste peculiar, thankfully I didn’t fully inhale as I usually do that time, as I have no idea what all those chemicals that are not part of the cigarette would do to me, but I can’t imagine it being anything good. I then looked down at the ashtray to see a hole in the roof part!


If I had not had my wits about me, I could have burnt down the entire block of flats I live in.
I strongly suggest you recall this product publicly, or at least, recall its batch number. It is not fit for purpose, and as such, violates my statutory rights. I would also suggest it is a health and fire hazard. Please respond within one week or I shall put this letter into the public domain.

If you wish for photographic evidance, you may see so here: bit.ly/w48rSi

Kind Regards,
- Paul Silver
- [email protected]
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:34, Reply)

tldr
how do's old bean?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:35, Reply)

Top of the fucking world mate, top of the world.
I fucking love my flat, check my facebook for pictures, fucking amazing. I got some kitchen tripple-bar-shelves put up and they're amazing.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:41, Reply)

How's you?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:42, Reply)

Good, had a lovely day with my daughter
pub lunch and hendricks gin for supper
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:45, Reply)

You gave your daughter gin?
At least she'll sleep.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:46, Reply)

3 nights in a row she has slept through
it's brilliant but has fucked up my body clock
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:47, Reply)

go in at 3am and poke her

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:49, Reply)

you should write a book
geriatrics and babies: cleaning up the piss
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:52, Reply)

And the sick.
Don't forget the sick. Or is that just dogs?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:00, Reply)

Sounds like good saturdaying right there.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:57, Reply)

wouldn't know how to find you!
glad it's working out for you
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:44, Reply)

Add me !
www.facebook.com/mrpsilver
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:55, Reply)

would do, but as 18th in line to the throne I like to stay annonymous

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:56, Reply)

Wassamatta, Homes?
We not good enough for you?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:59, Reply)

nope, not in the slightest

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:59, Reply)

Well, fuck you, then.
Fuck you right in the FACE!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:00, Reply)

Well it is saturday night

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:01, Reply)

Damn, all I was gonna do is knock one out over women with the same sirname.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:04, Reply)

Leave him, Gonz.
We don't need him.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:05, Reply)

:(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:08, Reply)

If we're not good enough fpor you
we don't need you.
So there.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:09, Reply)

Silly sausage, he's missing out on all the lawlz.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:10, Reply)

cheeky bugger, the wife is still on her maiden name on there anyway, so naah!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:05, Reply)

Would you rather I knock one out to your wife or sister?
As someone who has never had eaither, I couldn't really tell what would be worst out of the two.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:11, Reply)

only child innit, you could only wack off ove rme...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:15, Reply)

Like I haven't alreadsy done that....

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:16, Reply)

this may be the perviest thread in b3ta history, and the one wth the most ellipses...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:18, Reply)

ummm
Haven't you just put this letter in the public domain BEFORE the week you said you'd give them?

Naughty, naughty.

In other news, I have jeffaids and can barely swallow. To ease the pain, I'm taking day nurse and getting drunk.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:44, Reply)

Night Nurse is the only Over The Counter that I know of that can get me nicely fucked.
/ac

Oh b3th, is anyone looking after you? I'd totally dress up in a hawt nurse's uniform for you.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:54, Reply)

Hah, yeah', I am, but hopefully nobody'll copy it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:54, Reply)

No
His lordship has gone to bed for a sleep. It's just me and the dog here. And all this lovely, lovely alcomahol.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 19:59, Reply)

What kind of dog?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:00, Reply)

Biscuit..
He's the best kind of dog there is.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:01, Reply)

This is the right answer

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:02, Reply)

I think there's a picture of him in my profile
but I'm too drunk to go check.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:03, Reply)

whippety thing!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:04, Reply)

Lurcher, innit.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:06, Reply)

Sad Times, I reckon for all this hard work you do for him over the years, he should at least allow _one_ extramaritale affair.
Not saying that you should use it up on me, but if you did happen too, it'd totally make my year.

0o0o0oh, by the way, I got a new bed, true story, we should totally give it a test-drive.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:07, Reply)

I'll be there in half an hour.
Put the kettle on.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:10, Reply)

Sounds like a deal ! I'll pop round the 'rose* and get some non-poncy tea-bags.
Unless you want to also be like the women in the storm on the twinnings advert.

* Do you think that is a good short-name for Waitrose? Wait' or 'rose ? Or not bother.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:13, Reply)

go to greggs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:15, Reply)

I had teh best tea ever at the chinese restaurant last night.
The woman said it was Chinese tea with jasmine. It was really, really nice. I got some green tea with jasdmine today at morrisons, but I have tried it yet, so I don't know if it's the same.

Also, our Morrisons has spome of teh letters on its sign unlit, but not the right ones, so I can't take a RIS picture.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:16, Reply)

Also also
Man, I am so fucking drunk. I didn't think I'd had that much, but then I remembered I'd onlyt had one meal today, so it might be affecting me more than usual.

On the p[lus side, I'm happy and my throat doesn't hurt quite so much.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:19, Reply)

Shall I have another gin? Is that what you're telling me?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:20, Reply)

Yes. Yes, it is.
;)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:32, Reply)

woah - drunk b3th!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:38, Reply)

YAY DRUNK B3TH !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:44, Reply)

Niice ! There is a tunisian tea that only tastes good in tunisia, but it's like a really sweet (almost syrupy sweet) mint called Haback or something like that.
fucking well lush drinking that under the desert stars.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:44, Reply)

I'm watching last weeks "Sherlock" it's quite good

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:02, Reply)

so did I
I agree
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:26, Reply)

Where've ya been, Cavy?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:28, Reply)

watching sherlock
I have done pretty much nothing all afternoon

went arching and for a walk along a seafront in the morning, though

wasssupp?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:36, Reply)

very late start, diod nothing all morning
Had a big family lunch this afternoon, then for some stupid reason we went to Morrisons.

Now I'm ... I don't know if I've mentioned this... fucking drunk! And trying to type coherently. And I've just realised how early it is, too. This is bad.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:46, Reply)

what's ya poison?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:46, Reply)

Bacardi, Cherry Sourz and diet Pepsi.
It's like Cherry Cola but with a fuck of a kick.

You know what? I'm going to blame Roota for getting me hooked on them, as I had my first 'cola cube' in Liverpool. Do you think she'll buy that?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:52, Reply)

well it must be her fault
we would never believe that b3th would get DRUNK!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:54, Reply)

I KNOW!
I'm usually so boring!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:54, Reply)

what else is there to do in Weston?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:55, Reply)

PIER

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:56, Reply)

'It's like crack for retards'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:57, Reply)

so is crack

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:58, Reply)

Given it is Saturday night; on a scale of 1 to 10, how sad is it that I have just spent 30 minutes cleaning my laptop?
Cotton buds, proper cleaning fluid, wipes etc.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:55, Reply)

twelty

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:56, Reply)

a similar amount of sad to the fact I hadn't even realised it was
saturday night. I'm drinking tea and watching my pigs squabble over broccolli
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:57, Reply)

you hve pigs?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:57, Reply)

guinea pigs

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:58, Reply)

oh...
disappointing sausages
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:59, Reply)

is that your nickname?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:00, Reply)

yes, I have multiple, yet dissapointing cocks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:01, Reply)

multiple + incredibly small

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:02, Reply)

like a female cat's belly

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:03, Reply)

Genuine kitchenLOL here

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:04, Reply)

Delicious apparently
Marinaded in lime, ginger and some freshly ground black pepper, then griddled.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:00, Reply)

anyone goes near my pigs with a griddle
and I'll cook and eat them
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:01, Reply)

Try one. You'll love it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:03, Reply)

When on earth did you think it was?
Damn this keyboard feels nice to type on now...
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:59, Reply)

i hadn't really thought about it

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:59, Reply)

September

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:00, Reply)

Don't forget to wake a certain B3tan up when it ends

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:01, Reply)

his has an internal atomic clocjk

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:02, Reply)

Never seen a clocjk. What are they like?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:05, Reply)

eastern european clocks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:08, Reply)

I really need to change my keyboard.
All the letters have rubbed off, and it's proper filthy.

You know, like me.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:09, Reply)

stoopid cheap tattoos

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:12, Reply)

I'm watching casulty as my friend is starting in it tonight!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 20:58, Reply)

TO THE CURRY HOUSE!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:06, Reply)

HUZZAAAAAH!!!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:09, Reply)

*raises glass*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:10, Reply)

*falls over*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:10, Reply)

*giggles*
*falls over also*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:11, Reply)

I hope you're not on 'the pier'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:13, Reply)

* cooks better food at home *
* is smug *
* drinks a glass of v nice Valpolicella *
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:14, Reply)

nasi goreng + hendricks gin = WIN

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:15, Reply)

I really like both of those. Not sure I would consume them together though

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:17, Reply)

fish cakes, oven chips and mushy peas = meh

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:17, Reply)

Good fish cakes deserve more than oven chips.
I make my own fish cakes using smoked haddock. Easier than it may sound and big WIN.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:19, Reply)

yeah? well mine came out of the freezer
i wish i had wine
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:20, Reply)

Griddle a guinea pig and eat that instead.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:27, Reply)

straight after I've
cooked your dog/cat/loved one
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:28, Reply)

We have 4 cats. Please chose from male or female, young or old, long hair or shorthair.
I recommend the female long hair. Easy to skin and looking quite tender at the moment. Yours for a tenner, but you have to drain the blood yourself and give that to me - I'd like to try homemade feline black pudding.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:32, Reply)

packet of fuckin ritz crackers
right here!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:26, Reply)

Eating anything when inebriated FTW

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:27, Reply)

mr b3th has made me put them back : (
I've swapped them for a banana.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:32, Reply)

That is seriously dull on top of booze. Sneak out and get a kebab.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:34, Reply)

I have also now moved on to drinking water.
Lots of water.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:35, Reply)

Surely the Ritz would soak up some alcohol?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:36, Reply)

I'm giving up crisps and chocolate to try to lose some weight.
He convinced me thast they are essentially the same as crisps.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:38, Reply)

Point out to him that might have been the case when he grew up with rationing still going on
But these days they are baked and don't contain whale blubber.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:39, Reply)

What's funny
is that he was actually born during the war.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:49, Reply)

When I saw my uncle at my wedding earlier this year I was reminded (not by him) that he had been an evacuee - not many of those left.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:52, Reply)

Well
mr b3th was born in 1945, so only *just* during the war.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:54, Reply)

You're not just letting yourself down...

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:37, Reply)

Penis is not for dinner.
It is a breakfast food.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:29, Reply)

Please tell this to my wife.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:33, Reply)

I'm sure she knows

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:36, Reply)

Evenin' sis.
I certainly haven't been blaming you for my inebriated state.

How are you tonight?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:37, Reply)

I have not been near you!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:37, Reply)

I've become somewhat addicted to that cocktail thing I had whrn we went out to dinner.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:41, Reply)

What was it?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:43, Reply)

See above
somewhere
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:45, Reply)

Oh I see, Cola cube my arse.
Cheeky vimto is where it's at.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:47, Reply)

*giggles*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:52, Reply)

What's in a 'cheeky vimto'?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:52, Reply)

Blue WKD with port floating on top
When you mix them it tastes of Vimto
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:56, Reply)

and thus is rancid

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:56, Reply)

That sounds fucking disgusting.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:57, Reply)

*shrugs*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:58, Reply)

Blurgh

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:17, Reply)

scousers

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:18, Reply)

yeah, roota
you made b3th into an alcomofrolic
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:47, Reply)

She seems to have forgotten.
Anyone would think she's breastfeeding a baby or something...
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:37, Reply)

She'll be back

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:44, Reply)

Soon I hope.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:48, Reply)

HOLY FUCK IT'S ROOTA!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:54, Reply)

SHIT!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:56, Reply)

I had chish and fips
much better than cheesy knob.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:43, Reply)

didn't you have room for both?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:47, Reply)

I am, contrary to appearances, a heterosexualist
as such, it has yet to be my pleasure to enjoy the taste of cock.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:52, Reply)

i crashed, but i'm back
Hi CQ, guess what i did today?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 21:53, Reply)

crashed?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:02, Reply)

computer ws being a twat

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:03, Reply)

OK, what did you do today?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:10, Reply)

i meant yesterday

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:16, Reply)

i made lots of money from a company that maybe doesn't have the best reputation in arica

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:17, Reply)

Good for you.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:27, Reply)

just winding you up sweetcheeks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:28, Reply)

Your soul, or lack of same is entirely your own business old boy.
Not that you'll be reading this, of even up at this hour.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:58, Reply)

I had a delicious chicken burger
absolutely fantastic.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:00, Reply)

batterd?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:02, Reply)

No, I think he lives in London
the chicken was not battered no.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:09, Reply)

you called?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:18, Reply)

Are you back then?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:09, Reply)

racist

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:10, Reply)

what?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:13, Reply)

Shut it, honky.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:14, Reply)

*cries*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:16, Reply)

Me be makin' a bad ting good.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:16, Reply)

Nope still in Iceland
www.thelaundromatcafe.com/en/menu
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:14, Reply)

i'm jealous of your iceland shenanananagans

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:15, Reply)

It's amazing!
Confusingly, everyone here thinks I am Icelandic though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:17, Reply)

how broke is everyone up there?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:19, Reply)

Very unbroke. It's expensive here

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:20, Reply)

How much is a beer?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:20, Reply)

They seem to hover at 900 kroner
so about £4.70. I've seen cheaper ones occasionally
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:21, Reply)

Ouch
That is expensive.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:23, Reply)

It's a very expensive country
I had a shot of Brennevin with dinner last night though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:26, Reply)

I had a cup of coffee this afternoon when I got up.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:28, Reply)

Long night last night?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:29, Reply)

Not really
I was just shattered so I had a 15 hour kip!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:33, Reply)

Sounds excellent!
Enjoyable I take it?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:39, Reply)

A song about a laundromat.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jw-PxFRxoec
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:16, Reply)

I shall listen when I have sound :)
how are you Jeff?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:17, Reply)

I'm stuffed full of curry
And I'm thinking I might have a beer.

How were the Northern lights?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:19, Reply)

Fantastic!
I spent two hours kneeling in the snow at -15C to take pictures
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:20, Reply)

I sent a friend a big pile of snow once.
I called them up later and said, 'D'ya get my drift?'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:23, Reply)

It never arrived and now he thinks you're a flake

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:23, Reply)

Well, things are certainly cooler

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:25, Reply)

We can bank on you.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:25, Reply)

How is your hangover developing?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:26, Reply)

Not bad.
I've had about six pints of water, so I'm hoping I can avoid it. Got a boot sale tomorrow morning, so I have to be up early.
And I'm in charge of a grandchild too.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:29, Reply)

How many jobs have you applied for?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:32, Reply)

Oh, hundreds.





Or none.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:32, Reply)

I do all that work and for what eh? FOR WHAT.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:33, Reply)

I know.
I'm useless. It's probably why no-one wants to hire me.

The year starts in earnest next week. I'll keep you updated.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:34, Reply)

Well your sister in law to be is going to start to bully you as well.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:41, Reply)

It's the only way I'll learn.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:44, Reply)

You realise that once you get a nice new job
You'll have lots of money to spend flying to Edinburgh.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:45, Reply)

Are you still going to be working up there?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:46, Reply)

I'm still going up for the odd meeting here and there
But I've managed to avoid any extended visits for some time, which is good.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:48, Reply)

Did you get good pictures?
Will they be on fb?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:24, Reply)

I got some excellent ones
will put them up on fb when I get home, and get a chance to process the images from the raw files.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:25, Reply)

any northern lights?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:31, Reply)

Lots. The aurora danced a little bit as well
and if anyone wants geese pictures, or ones of fireworks I can do that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:32, Reply)

one more gin?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:16, Reply)

I had beef Wellington at a wedding yesterday, so it may as well have been penis.
Bleurgh
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:24, Reply)

Hello Bobby.
Why are you Bobby again?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:25, Reply)

Hello bath,
It was time.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:33, Reply)

Bath Time?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:33, Reply)

Again?
I just had one last month!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:35, Reply)

That too

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:38, Reply)

why don't you like beef weellington? are you a perishing left footer?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:27, Reply)

I don't like pastry or red meat.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:32, Reply)

who doesn't like red meat? wtf is wrong with you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:34, Reply)

I'm vegetarian.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:37, Reply)

you are therefore a lesbian
*panders*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:38, Reply)

Chill oot eh
Me.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:38, Reply)

why not?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:39, Reply)

Texture and taste of pastry and not sure with red meat, used to like it when I was younger. Just not anymore.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:45, Reply)

it's GAIDS

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 23:01, Reply)

*sighs*
Another shit qotw and yet another time when I have had to tell someone in no uncertain terms that they are in fact deeply, deeply wrong.

I despair of my life sometimes, I really do.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:36, Reply)

Started the new job yet PD?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:37, Reply)

Why yes, yes I have.
The director I work for is milfy in the way that intelligent women in positions of power way.

So I bought a new shirt and accessories today.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:41, Reply)

Good stuff.
How is it all going? Does it seem better than your last gig?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:42, Reply)

Way better.
Simple things like you can send emails without them being checked over and changed for no reason, one hour lunchbreak (I am struggling with this actually) and staff are treated with respect.

It does help that I am very good looking though.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:45, Reply)

That is bound to help.
Glad to hear it's going well. Was it more money than your last role as well?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:47, Reply)

The money is better but after the 190 quid a month on train fares, not much more than I was on.
But I like Leeds, so not all bad.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:49, Reply)

Profit!
And if your director is a milf, you might be able to bone your way to a promotion.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:50, Reply)

We live in hope Jeffles, we live in hope.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:55, Reply)

link?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:38, Reply)

I was on my best behaviour here.
b3ta.com/questions/books2012/post1491023
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:40, Reply)

i love american psycho
this week, will be full of people interlectually posturing
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:42, Reply)

American Psycho is a defining text, it really is.
And you would think that I would be attracted to any display of intellectual posturing like a moth to a flame, but this week I just cannae be airsed.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:44, Reply)

I love American Psycho so much that I have two copies.
Yes, that's right...
TWO!

Rock and Roll ;)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 23:05, Reply)

My copy is nearly worn out.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 23:07, Reply)

Okay, I've had enough now. I'm off to bed.
If I'm not dead, I'll see you all tomorrow.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:50, Reply)

Night night!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 7 Jan 2012, 22:51, Reply)