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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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You can save one thing (non-living) from your burning home.
What is it, and why have (you) chosen it?
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:13, 127 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Bleu De Paname Counter Jacket.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Your mum.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:15, Reply)
That's easily the best 'your mum' I've seen in ages.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:16, Reply)
I'd pick up whatever is on fire and take it outside.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:16, Reply)
It's your stash of thermite that is on fire

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:20, Reply)
I'll just spray them with some bug spray then
LOL
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:24, Reply)

LOL
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:33, Reply)
What like a bed and a sofa?
Course you would, Geoff Capes.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:26, Reply)
Yeah, I'm fucking hardcore, wouldn't even put oven gloves on.
I think you're forgetting that only last month I stopped my office from burning down killing about 200 people.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:28, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1472704
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:29, Reply)
i think the best thing is if 2-5 people die per hundred saved.
That way people realise how dangerious the situation is.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:06, Reply)
Monty Boyce's drugs-ravaged libido

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:16, Reply)
My laptop
As it contains all my photo's. Wedding, daughter, massive porn collection etc.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Ditto

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:26, Reply)
Ditto

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:38, Reply)
im hoping the last three are all the same item.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:07, Reply)
I was expecting someone to say something like that. Thanks for not disappointing me Gonz.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:16, Reply)
hah, someone had too.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:30, Reply)
my mother's ring (that's NOT funny) means more to me than anything
but i'm assuming i'd already be wearing that. in which case i'd probably say.........

the pink smeg fridge maybe? it's currently got 12 bottles of champagne and a fuck-tonne of vodka in it.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:20, Reply)
You are Geoff Capes AICMbudgie

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:20, Reply)
I assume you are making that claim on account of her beard. Not her ability to carry a fridge.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:22, Reply)
*Capes fives*

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:27, Reply)
Depends
Am I wearing my watch at the time of the fire?
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:21, Reply)
No you left it in your boyfriend's arse

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:21, Reply)
Hahahahahahaha!

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:24, Reply)
Very good indeed
That would've been a 9. The quest for a 10 goes on
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:27, Reply)
You need to relax, use more lube.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:31, Reply)
My filing case.
Got everything I need in it. Everything else is replaceable.

Would be miffed about my hard drives, but any photos etc are backed up regularly.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:25, Reply)
Like DVD's or CD's?

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:26, Reply)
JCVDs

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:33, Reply)
Isn't that what Mary Magdalene had?

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:38, Reply)
ACKNOWLEDGING THIS

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:50, Reply)
just spotted it, can confirm it is 'lol'

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:42, Reply)
I cannot think of a single item I am that attached to.
That's pitiful.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:25, Reply)
Your vibrating butt plug that was an anniversary present from the Mrs?

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:30, Reply)
That'd already be in my butt.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:35, Reply)
Surely that means you're NOT materialistic?

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:31, Reply)
dialysis maxhine from fucking up your insides
Tee hee see, its funny because its something you would be physicly attached too rather than emotionally.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:10, Reply)
My grandads sword from the war

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:25, Reply)
The two old photos I have of my brother.
It's the only ones the family has. (My witch of a grandmother probably has loads but we wont get them till she dies).
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Actually an old Clarks shoe box.
That has tickets, photos, mementos, boarding passes and god knows what else from every gig, football match, holiday and so on from the past six odd years. It's a lot more interesting than it sounds but it's up in my house in Newcastle and I can't remember what else is in there.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:29, Reply)
I used to have one of them, managed to lose it when I moved out for the first time, not my brightest hour

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:30, Reply)
I would like to dispute the claim that a box full of crap is "more interesting than it sounds"

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:30, Reply)
It certainly couldn't be less interesting than it sounds.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:34, Reply)
It wouldn't be interesting to anyone other than me.
But because I can't even remember what else is in there, at this moment in time I'm not too interested in it either.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:41, Reply)
My external HDD
Contains all of my pictures, films, music, everything I'd want backing up.

I tend to keep all of my important documents at my Dad's house, so most other things could be replaced.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:30, Reply)
What about your irreplaceable and hilarious "comedy" t-shirts?

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:33, Reply)
You can have them back if you like, I don't wear them anymore.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:35, Reply)
I'm sorted for a tent thanks

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:36, Reply)
This joke might work if I was the size of a house/Bobby
Considering I'm currently weighing in at less than 11 stone, and they still fit me, it seems redundant though.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:38, Reply)
oh dear internet lies, will you never learn?

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:55, Reply)
My brief case with my insurance policy in it.
Actually I'd probably just stand at the window throwing my books out. Then gently drop my telescope and lap top on the the pile of books.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:33, Reply)
You know, I think I'd actually welcome the chance to start completely over.
Assuming I got a decent insurance payout, the idea of replacing absolutely everything I own actually seems like a good thing.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:34, Reply)
Kroneys Log; Sad-date 2035.325.5.1
The Sadship enterprise Mk IV has entered a black hole, with all hands lost. I feel nothing, the black hole is like my emotion eating everything in it's path. Good riddance I say, they didn't understand me.
Hopefully I'll get a good insurance pay out.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:38, Reply)
Hopefully his plans for the Genesis project wouldn't get burnt.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:41, Reply)
Hahaha! it amuses me you know that.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Secret trekky I reckon

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Seen as you're likely the only person on here to know who she is, the actress who played Seven of Nine actually responded to me on Twitter yesterday
It shows how dull this week has been in the fact that that is one of the highlights.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:50, Reply)
is that some kind of porn movie
that you and he have an online circlejerk over?
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:00, Reply)
Nope, she was in Star Trek

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:04, Reply)
Looks good on the show
but quite horsey normally. Her hair doesn't look right when it's down.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:06, Reply)
Can't really disagree with that

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:13, Reply)
Lieutenant Ohura?

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:17, Reply)
Why is Liutenant Uhura black?
Because William Shatner.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:20, Reply)
I was leading up to that, you bounder.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:22, Reply)
That's pretty cool
Felicia day once spoke to me on google plus.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:17, Reply)
Sweet

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:31, Reply)
haha, nerdy sex desperados

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:39, Reply)
I saw that heap of shit in the cinema.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:52, Reply)
I saw it at Butlins, Skegness.
*shudders*
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:02, Reply)
Classy.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:08, Reply)
TJ Hooker box set, copy of the Transformed Man and
all the kitchen cupboard doors that make it look like the Enterprise bridge.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:43, Reply)
... and yet I can't help but wonder how many other guys she's fucked since she coldly dumped me
:'('''''''
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:46, Reply)
It's alright I've just read something that makes Kroneys self centered woe is me act look normal
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16469222
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:50, Reply)
Haha what a knob.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:53, Reply)
Oh so he's not a serial manipulator of drunk and vunerable girls
he's a damaged little flower and we should all feel sorry for him.

Prick.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:59, Reply)
Innit.
And deep down he's hoping this article might attract a few more anyway.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:01, Reply)
I bet there's about 40 different versions of the "sad face" picture
because he wanted to get the angle just right.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:02, Reply)
"LET ME SEE THAT!"
"DELETE!!!"
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:08, Reply)
Christ alive what a cunt.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:56, Reply)
hahaha
"Jeff Leach regularly watches porn" right beneath a picture of the prat
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:58, Reply)
"I have realised that, until I am happy with myself and I love myself, that's not going to be possible, so I am going to get on and do that."
The porn will help him with that
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:00, Reply)
does the "sadship MK" stand for "Milton Keynes" ?

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:58, Reply)
You can be kind of a penis.
I meant that I'm not particularly attached to anything I own. I keep a lot of stuff out of habit, more than anything else. Although I did ditch a lot of stuff I didn't need in my move, I did also hang on to things that I could probably live without.

The idea of being forced to re-evaluate what it is I want to surround myself with, rather than thinking "that might come in useful one day", or "that was expensive" is attractive for its own sake.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:06, Reply)
I think you've got me confused with someone else.
I'm fucking lovely.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:09, Reply)
And charming

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:19, Reply)
Too right Rootz
these cunts wouldn't know charm if it shat in their mouths.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:24, Reply)
In Liverpool, we don't use the past participle of the verb 'shit'
We use the wird 'shit' for all tenses, which is a shame, as 'shat' is a very funny word in itself.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:27, Reply)
hahaha

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:16, Reply)
i can digg that, i got rid of about 10 industrial bins worth of stuff when i moved, trye atory.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:19, Reply)
i tryed one
he was a cock
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:22, Reply)
Why have chosen it? Danial-san

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:35, Reply)
LOL, now edited

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Personally, I'd be fucked.
Those of you who have had the pleasure (!) of visiting my chateau know that I am a Trebus-esque collector of all sorts of shit from vintage trainers, books, records, 'film'.....I probably have 75 fucking t shirts. I've also got some excellent heirlooms that I would be much saddened to lose, and a bust of my grandfather which is similarly excellent.

I'd probably stand there, paralysed with indecision, whilst the whole lot turned to ash.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:40, Reply)
I would have thought you would have at least buried your cheese.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:43, Reply)
Pepyslolz

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:46, Reply)
Luckily the stuff only has sentimental value.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:44, Reply)
Surely your stash of MASSIVE DRUGS

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:45, Reply)
+would make it more difficult for the fire brigade to get near, they'd just sit in the street, pissing themselves laughing

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:46, Reply)
But if the wind is blowing
In the right direction, most of east London would be stoned. The 'Roy Caste' effect as it's known.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:49, Reply)
Do you mean Roy Castle?

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:49, Reply)
No, he's referring to a sub-stratum of Indian society known as the 'Roys'

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:51, Reply)
hahahaha

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:54, Reply)
i heard your granddad had an impressive bust

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:56, Reply)
i heard his financial situation was an impressive bust.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:15, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:41, Reply)
Like Swipe, I am assuming I'm wearing my engagement ring and very old pearls form a cool lady from the olden days (she got felt up by Larry Olivier in a car).
I would take my box of photos.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:48, Reply)
Larry O was bent wasn't he?

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:50, Reply)
This was in the days before lip bleaching, the woman in question had a major tache.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:51, Reply)
And "thick" legs.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:52, Reply)
She was a bobby dazzler actually

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:54, Reply)
Not really a shock, but couldn't resist the opportunity to make the joke

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:05, Reply)
Safe blud

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:08, Reply)
he was a saucy cunt. he was trying to make her uncomfortable
She was having none of it though.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:54, Reply)
That's a hard one (that's what YM said etc)
Which one from the guitar collection? I mean, they all have monetary value but the most expensive to replace doesn't have the same sentimental value as others. Do I save the one I did my first-ever paying gig with? The one I was playing when I met my G/F? The one I wrote the only song I've ever written on?
Then again, I'd probably save my Dad's Gurkha Felt hat from WW2 and my great-great grandfather's cut-glass decanter. The more I think about it the more disappointed with myself I get for being sentimental about 'stuff'.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:53, Reply)
OR
your 'real doll' which you had made with Pooflake's face on it.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:06, Reply)
But why?
I have a real Pooflake!!
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:08, Reply)
For threesomes?
I don't know, Cap - you tell me. You're the disgusting pervert here, not me.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Oi - easy.
Some of my best friends are perverts.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:12, Reply)
yeah pooflake

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:14, Reply)
You say pervert like it's a bad thing!

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:22, Reply)
GuitarWanker.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:13, Reply)
my laptop, second place would be Gummi, my childhood ted.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:11, Reply)
Bear Wanker

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:19, Reply)
yeah, im _that_ hardcore that i could wank off a bear.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:22, Reply)
Plushophile.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:20, Reply)
better being a pushophile than a pullophile.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:23, Reply)
Gaylord

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:21, Reply)
yoy already git a reply

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:24, Reply)
furry

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:22, Reply)
like a kitten in a truck's front grill

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:24, Reply)
Person who was interfered with by a Teddy Boy in his youth

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:27, Reply)
Fender Strat
Bought with inheritance moneys from my granddad. Fucking cool it is
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:31, Reply)
You stole inheritance money off your Granddad?
You really are a terrible human being.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:33, Reply)
Fuck him
He couldn't play the guitar
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:33, Reply)
i already fucked him, and those non-guitar playing arthritic hands were perfect for wrapping around my dripping cock

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:38, Reply)
They didn't close that tight
Nothing does
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:39, Reply)
i have um big heap willy

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:40, Reply)
but 'Little Plum's

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:46, Reply)
POTD

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:46, Reply)
Ta la

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:48, Reply)
It's definitely a 'LOL' from me.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:56, Reply)
i had to google that
Beano character?
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:56, Reply)
Yup.
I thought that's who you were being
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:13, Reply)
But he could ring a bell.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:44, Reply)
He wasn't Anita Ward

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:46, Reply)
oh you pair of ear-worming PRICKS

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:51, Reply)
PRICKS is it?
Are you going to Bristol?
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:59, Reply)
It's just as well you asked, as my home has just caught fire...
(You can probably going to guess it's going to be a bass guitar, I won't bore you with the details...)
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:03, Reply)
Mr Crow.
Wagwan.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:04, Reply)
Herr Stunned
How's tricks?
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:05, Reply)
Not bad.
Glad that all the festivities are over and the amateur drinkers are out of the pubs.

How are things with you? Did you go away for Xmas?
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:11, Reply)
Yeah, likewise not bad thanks.
Just went back home to visit my folks over christmas, then a jaunt oop North to visit Lampers and family. Also achieved the most sober new year's eve in some years as I was playing that night. Good fun mind, and made a nice change to make some money that night rather than blowing it...
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:18, Reply)
It must have been nice to feel OK on New Years Day.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:21, Reply)
It was certainly strange to feel tired but not hungover
You get up to much for new year?
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:27, Reply)
Had Lusty and The Boyce round for drinks
and checked the Eye fireworks out from the local park.

I did have a hangover the next day. Lusty went to work!?
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:55, Reply)
haha, bass guitar, thats like real guitar but for mongos
right?
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:05, Reply)
Yes. Run along and play now, there's a good boy.

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:07, Reply)
good comeback, not sure i'll ever be able to recover

(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:10, Reply)

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