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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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oh christ
flatmate is moving out this week, and much as i love her, i am sooooo happy to have my spare room back. now another friend, who is totally and utterly bonkers, needs somewhere to stay in west london a few nights a week, and knows that the current friend has been living there rent-free. she has already started hinting about a 4 hour daily commute, and i can just see what's coming.

how can i say NO??? i'm not very good at saying no to friends... help!
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:14, 8 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
cunt punch her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:17, Reply)
that's your answer to everything

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:17, Reply)
Flap slap her.

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:18, Reply)
gash bash her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:21, Reply)
i went to a gash bash once
it was all of them
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:33, Reply)
slit hit her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:21, Reply)
twat splat her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:22, Reply)
minge pinch her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:22, Reply)
ooooowch! i bet that would hurt

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:29, Reply)
bush push her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:22, Reply)
clunge lunge her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:23, Reply)
clam wham her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:23, Reply)
DAMN YOU

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:24, Reply)
what I do now?

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:24, Reply)
JINX!!!!!

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:25, Reply)
Ha.
Sharing a thought process with you is a rather disturbing experience.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:26, Reply)
I believe George was more into cock to be honest

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:25, Reply)
clam slam her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:23, Reply)
pubic mound pound her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:23, Reply)
Hit her in the vagina

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:23, Reply)
cunt punt her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:24, Reply)
box...um...box her.

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:24, Reply)
pussy whip her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:26, Reply)
Leave her beef curtain hurtin'

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:26, Reply)
WINNER!

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:27, Reply)
Clopper drop 'er

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:28, Reply)
hahhaa

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:32, Reply)
Foul her growler

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:32, Reply)
Front bum drum her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:33, Reply)
Kick her fish pie high.

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:33, Reply)
stab her labia

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:34, Reply)
crack attack her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:36, Reply)
Say you want to used the room to grow weed, innit?

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:17, Reply)
that's your answer to everything

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:18, Reply)
and invite Monty to the converstaion to add weight to your story

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:18, Reply)
Change the locks,
and hide behind the sofa when she knocks on the door.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:19, Reply)
Say
"I'm really sorry, but I have been looking forward to living alone and I don't think it would be a very good idea at the moment"

Sorry for a real answer, but the last thing you want is to end up living with a friend and resenting them for being there when you don't want them.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:21, Reply)
then vag bash her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:22, Reply)
Then pig bite fight her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:26, Reply)
then tit hit her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:24, Reply)
Jug slug her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:25, Reply)
Mam Slam her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:26, Reply)
Bap Whap her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:27, Reply)
bristol pistol whip her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:26, Reply)
axe wound wound her

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:28, Reply)
We're on tits now. Do keep up.

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:31, Reply)
Terribly sorry.

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:33, Reply)
Should have been tits first
She's not a slag
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:33, Reply)
She fucking is.

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:33, Reply)
I've had her.
She stinks.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:34, Reply)
...now

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:35, Reply)
I ruined her for other men.

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:42, Reply)
Simply show her this thread

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:24, Reply)
one piece of proper advice that i should take but that terrifies me
and everything else on a certain theme.....
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:27, Reply)
I have had this with friends.
They want to live in the middle of nowhere but can't get to work.

Tell her you are sorry but you want some space. Or to move to London.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:29, Reply)
nah, she actually lives in zone 2 but way out east
and the job is way out west!
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:36, Reply)
What kind of fucking twat lives out East?

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:37, Reply)
she lives very near mont- oh
i see what you did there
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:39, Reply)
She can't travel across London? How fucking precious is that?
Bollocks to her. Move or get another job!!!!!! FFS, what's wrong with people?
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:41, Reply)
everything stunned, everything

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:44, Reply)
It's enough to give me pub rage. Is it drinky time yet?

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:46, Reply)
Somewhere in the British Empire it is after midday stunned

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:48, Reply)
She lives out East?
And has a job out West?

If only there were a tube line or two that ran that direction. joining the districts together, or running across Central London. Then she wouldn't have a problem.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:48, Reply)
i think the tube is everything that is the case
to misquote wittgenstein
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:52, Reply)
here to help
look how good we were with the gay-ex
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:32, Reply)
ah yes
hours of calming sweet solace
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:36, Reply)
live with her for a few months
she'll kill herself eventually
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:29, Reply)
have you grown a neck yet?
you can't hang yourself until you do.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:35, Reply)
There was a guy at Uni with no neck
he looked like a snowplough
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:38, Reply)
quentin looks like someone photoshopped his arse
straight onto his shoulders
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:39, Reply)
gaz me

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:40, Reply)
google
"neckless downs" and he's the top result
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:42, Reply)
maybe not at work...

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:43, Reply)
come on now swipe, this here is a bit out of order
i made a few jibes that got on pop page, i don't know why they got there, maybe you just aren't very well liked, but i apologised and only pointed out that you might want to calm your long ranty posts down a bit

please stop bullying me now, i can't take it
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:44, Reply)
now i've seen a picture of you
i feel so sorry for you that i can't really be as mean.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:51, Reply)
ty

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:53, Reply)
haha
upset
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:40, Reply)
nope still neckless
i think its very unfair of you to bully me on my looks cos i sent you a photo, when all i've got to go on is that you seem like an overweight, flighty mess on the internet
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:38, Reply)
and again here, were 3 question marks necessary?
your coming across a bit unhinged
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:33, Reply)
and you come across as an illiterate lifeless weirdo, but it's never stopped you before, has it
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

although god knows it should.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:35, Reply)
your doing nothing to help yourself here

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:37, Reply)
tell you what
you go away for at least 2 weeks. don't post anything. and when you come back, i'll show you how lovely and calm i've been. deal?
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:38, Reply)
yeah sure why not

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:40, Reply)
Please don't go Quents
I'd miss you most of all scarecrow.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:41, Reply)
get your own catchphrase
lazyboy
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:43, Reply)
me and ladyten are hitting the skids
she just doesn't come like she used to, so you and i could be a thing soon
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:45, Reply)
to quote berk
i'd rather cauterise my foof with a red hot poker, ta.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:51, Reply)
i like that

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:53, Reply)
tell her that she shouldnt have taken on the job if she didnt want to comute, or at least should have looked up rooms somewhere.

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:41, Reply)
it's secondment
so kind of not optional for her. i do feel sorry for her, this is the problem. and i do have a massive spare room that doesn't cost me anything. this is when the guilt factor kicks in, and it's why i've so far had 5 friends living with me rent-free over the last 5 years!!
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:43, Reply)
Then it's entirely your own fault for letting people stay rent free.
It does cost you money in terms of increased bills, and your "friends" are all cheeky cunts for staying with you without paying rent, but then again, if you're enough of a mug to let them, then I can't really blame them.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:45, Reply)
Can I come and stay?
You'll hardly notice I'm there. Except for the parties, getting in late dunk and cooking, watching you while you sleep/pee. You know, harmless roomy, watch you through a camera sort of stuff.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:48, Reply)
well someone say it

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:49, Reply)
what?

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:53, Reply)
i'll give you a clue, we'll play it like hangman
C____Y

no A, S, V, U, L, B, D, F, G, H, I, J, K, M, O, Q, T, W, X or Z
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:54, Reply)
Crepey!
I do like a good pancake.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:57, Reply)
lay off the suzette there, wino

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:58, Reply)
Well, that's just not nice now is it, Quinten Oftiweak?

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 12:01, Reply)
soz

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 12:11, Reply)
Does it sound like sleepy?

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:59, Reply)
dunno, what does he sound like?
LOL like from Snow White!
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:59, Reply)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 12:02, Reply)
it's not like you to make such a strident comment without all the facts, al
i am surprised. firstly, they've all offered repeatedly to pay rent, and have all bought me really nice presents or lots of meals out etc. secondly, they contribute to bills, £100 a month.

why is it being "a mug" to help out a friend when i have been very fortunate myself? the current flatmate has now saved enough to have a deposit on her own flat as a consequence of not having had to pay rent for a year.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:50, Reply)
You're a lovely friend.
Don't listen to the nasty, poisonous man.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:51, Reply)
you're good at ONLINE VALIDATION

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:54, Reply)
Sometimes.

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:56, Reply)
count the number of words and sentances in other people's posts here swipe
then count your own, see the difference? do you? no probs, just doing my job
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:52, Reply)
buy a dictionary or a spell checker
and learn how to use it.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:55, Reply)
F7
and Dictionary is spelled with a capital D
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:57, Reply)
capitals are not spelling, neckless

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 12:00, Reply)
You're a mug because you're complaining about having to let your friend stay with you when you actually want to live alone.
Unless of course you don't actually want to live alone and are just talking shit.

Of course, if you do want to live alone, you would have been better off just giving your current flatmate the deposit for her flat, or at least loaning it to her.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:52, Reply)
There's not much wriggle room in that cut and dried assessment.
You are either talking shit or not much of a friend for not loaning your flatmate the money for a deposit.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:55, Reply)
al? making snap decisions and proclamations as if he is the only person on the planet with any opinion on anything?
surely not!
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:56, Reply)
So going on that
You have essentially paid for her deposit.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:58, Reply)
sort of
i look at it more as she has been able to enjoy living in london whilst also saving for a deposit.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:59, Reply)
And giving you an excuse to bitch and moan about having to share your flat with someone when you don't want to.

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 12:04, Reply)
i know
apparently i sound just like your wife
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 12:05, Reply)
im not sure what a secondment is, but didnt they have a local one?
You shouldn't feel guilty for your stuff, you (and/or) your heritage worked and saved all their life to get it... They didn't do all that for you to give it away.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:47, Reply)
Secondment is where you temporarily go and work for another office or company.

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:49, Reply)
When your own employers want to get rid of you for a bit.

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:50, Reply)
Like loaning a footballer to another club.

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:53, Reply)
oh, like temping?
What's the point of them?
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:51, Reply)
Experience, my dear Gonz.
You might go and work at a customers so you have an appreciation of their job and how you might better help them when you return.
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:52, Reply)
law firms do it
because it builds the relationship with the client really well
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:54, Reply)
I get loads of them. Clueless monkeys.

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:56, Reply)
we should do drinks at some point
we would have much to discuss
(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:57, Reply)
I'll gaz you.

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:58, Reply)
marvellous

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:59, Reply)

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