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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I met an interesting old man in the gym yesterday who kept telling me and my mate storiesHe was ex forces and now teaches karate to the elderly. What interesting old people do you know?
Alt: ever been chatted up by a gay?
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:17,
168 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
Because you're witty and charming of course!I thought you were in Asia?
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:21,
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He just LOOKS like Kim Jong-il, he's not actually him, Bobby.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:31,
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He fucking smells like him now too(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:33,
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Totally going here on my first nightwww.lonelyplanet.com/malaysia/kuala-lumpur/restaurants/hawker/jln-alor
(, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:43, Reply)
My DadWhilst his life hasn't exactly been high flying, he's knowledgeable enough to speak confidently on a number of subjects, many of which are interesting.
Alt: Nope, never.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:23,
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My Dad is a fucking authority on every aspect of the Second World WarI actually expect to find that me and Monty are half-brothers, such is his Adolf interest
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:32,
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The thing is though war is bloody interesting. Now admittedly my knowledge of ww2 comes from saving private ryan and band of brothers but still, fascinating stuff.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:34,
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Every book I've ever seen him read was about WW II(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:35,
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Spot finds a grenade Run spot run
See spot run
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:37,
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It was a tough childhoodWhere's Goldstein? was my favourite book
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:39,
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10/10 and a hearty click-o from me(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:42,
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:36,
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I thought for a moment you were talking about being chatted up by a gay man.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:50,
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He's such a fucking cockhound, isn't he?I heard he was upset when Swiss Cottage turned out to be a place, and not an activity
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:27,
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Just because I turned you down, no need to make up lies Battered.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:32,
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All old people are interesting and have wonderful stories to tell.I mean, I assume that is the case, I can't be bothered to find out myself.
Alt: Yup, many times. Particularly when I worked in a hotel. It's probably no surprise that many men who work in the wedding industry are gay. It was an eye opener to naive 16 year old me, that's for sure.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:33,
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No, some old people are cunts. (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:33,
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I made that far too easy, didn't I?"That's what they said" etc.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:35,
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My father is interesting. I know him. Does that count?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:34,
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We all know your dad dude...(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:35,
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Alt: I was leered at by Boy George in Camden Sainsbury's about 15 years ago.Proper leered at. Looked me up and down and pouted in an uber-bent way. Of course I was instantly aroused.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:35,
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He is one odd looking dude(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:36,
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He was imagining what you'd look like being whipped with a bike chain.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:36,
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He didn't have to imagine for long, let me tell you.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:37,
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Whilst saying....'Do I really want to hurt him, do I really want to make him cry?'
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:58,
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*looks around for Monty's post*(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:38,
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You keep your grubby northern hands off my mail, sunshine.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:43,
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I know you love your male in the morning(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:44,
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This would be great if you were 20 years old.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:59,
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as in, now, telling the story.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:59,
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Not you being 20 years old when he leared at you.You being 20 years old now, saying 15 years ago it happened, so you were only 5.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:59,
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This requires further detailed explanation to avoid any misapprehension.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:02,
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Well, the thing is, if Monty was 20 years old, saying 15 years ago he got leared at by Boy George, then that would make him 5 years old.Boy George, who is a pedofile, would then be learing at a 5 year old boy version of monty. This is creepeir than if he was learing at 20 year old monty.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:09,
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Are you confusing Boy George with Gary Glitter?(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:22,
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I recently met the first soldier into Parisduring the liberation in WW2. He was pretty interesting.
My Grandma escaped the Holocaust via the Kindertransport and both male Grandparents were in the RAF. One was an armourer and oversaw some of the very first incendiary bombs loaded to bomb civilian targets.
(, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:38, Reply)
Did she get some chocolate and a surprise too?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:39,
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He......*wheeze*...he...............was gassed by the SS.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:42,
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No, he was worked to death digging graves(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:43,
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You know what, I wish someone in my family, when the died, died on a tour of auchwitz, especially someone young like a cousin...... so when people say "WTF? wasn't he too young?" I'll say "He was on a tourest trip".
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:58,
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my girlfriends mum is a whatchu callit when they're like the boss nurse?and she has a collection of AK47s and Berettas
Alt yes all the time, the guys in my office are always making passes at me and we hug alot and its quite homoerotic
(, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Is your girlfriend's mum Ice Cube?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:42,
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all women turn into their mothers in the endgood luck with that, stud.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:49,
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Or 'Steptoe', as he is also known.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:51,
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the boy texted to ask if i could sew the other morningwhen i replied "a bit", it made me think that my grandmother was a weaver in one of those massive yorkshire mills, and ran 6 looms at once. she'd have been so ashamed of me. her stories were pretty interesting. but i'd need a ouija board to hear any these days.
not by a licker, no. but i have a lot of male gay friends.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:40,
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I honestly cannot smell that cheese(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:46,
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You do realise that's a school bully feedline don't you?'Can you sew?'
'a little'
'WELL STITCH THAT, PAL!' *headbutt*
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:45,
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This is so. It is a very sad state of affairs.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:50,
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What was the one where you stamp on their foot and say "STAMP that then", someting about mail.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:53,
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Ma's dad had no legs, I believed he was a machanic during WW2 and a tank fell on him.I was telling someone infront of my mum who asked me what I was talking about, he lost it to diabities and was never in WW2 as he lost foot when was a child.
It's always made me wonder if losing a leg not being as bad if your leg is already missing a foot.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:56,
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my previous next door neighbour used to regularly phone up and ramble at meShe was a bit lonely I reckon. She saw Frank Sinatra perform at the Hippodrome bit didn't rate him
She also once phoned while I was eating dinner to tell me about the operation on her ovarian cysts. Taught me that sometimes it's ok to let a phone ring.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:58,
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Alt: no but I've been slapped round the tits a couple of times(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:01,
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I'm posting here to indicate that I understood this reference.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:03,
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Two prostitutes are stood on a street corner.One says to the other 'have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?'
and the other saaaaaayyyyssss......
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:07,
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"No, but I've been swung around by the tits"(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:09,
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i feel sorry for them both, the sex industry is unpleasant at the best of timesand as they have been vcitims of violence i only think that they further need our support and care of our scoeity
(, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:11, Reply)
I'm sure you do your bit by regularly giving them money(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:17,
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I do my bit by getting them off the streetsUsually for about half an hour.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:27,
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^ example of rubbish internet use ^Please save for posterity.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:11,
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*something about invading Poland*(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:34,
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Thanks, now I can't get Supergrass out of my head.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:08,
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Supergrass are one of those bands who I could prolly sing along to a couple of songs and who I've seen a couple of times at festivals and whose records I wouldn't pick up if they came free with a newspaper.I don't know where I'm going with this. One of them is called "Gaz" I think. See? I'm basically a fan who's never paid them a single penny. Soz gaz. Saz.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:10,
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Yes.Those are probably songs that they sang that I might recognise if they were played at a rubbish indie disco. I think this supports my point. Possibly. Whatever my point was.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:14,
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we've got teeth, nice and cleanalso they were riding choppers, you know like i used to
(, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:14, Reply)
I remember that lyric and that video.They have made a cultural impact that I have noticed.
Choppers were shit.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:18,
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The latter is a decent pop record and they are nice lads.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:14,
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not only thatThey also sing the same lines multiple times.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:21,
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It repeats a lot of the lyrics, too(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:20,
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Indeed. Not all time greats but chirpy enough and considerably better than many.Like Shamalaladingdong here I wouldn't buy a record off them, however i think were they to be on fire I probably would piss on them.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:18,
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Coldplay seem like nice boys too.And Jamelia seems lovely.
I don't think I like very much music by nice people.
Except David Byrne and Guy Garvey. And David Byrne would probably be a proper lairy drunk I reckon.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:17,
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Me neither.Jamelia seems to be a good laugh indeed. Plus, EPIC RACK.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:18,
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I could definitely look at her if we were ever forced to interact in a social situation.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:21,
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i would have sex with her if she askedand also mayb e if she didn't
(, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:23, Reply)
Were she to approach me in a public house I would potentially not blank her.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:25,
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If I were sitting in a jacuzzi and she tripped and fell onto my penis then I could probably (probably) maintain an erection for long enough to engage in full penetrative sex.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:35,
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Met Chris Martin quite a few times. He's alright. For a vegetarian. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:20,
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I walked into him once, was a bit of a shock(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:28,
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His wife is vapid self obsessed twat.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:29,
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She should meet your wife's husband, then.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:32,
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We apologised and went on our way, took us about 20 seconds to realise who the fuck we'd just walked intoMy friend and I ran back to meet them, to give them a flyer for the gig he was playing that night. From the 2 minute conversation we had, they seemed OK. Then someone rocked up with a camera and just started taking pictures, and he just seemed pissed off.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:33,
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I reacon he was more pissed at a couple of monkeys walking into him and then running after him sayin Cwistopha Cwisthopha you're so fffamous we wubb you(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:41,
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Talking about turgid, boring crappy bands,I did a shoot on Monday for Noel Gallagher's shit new band. They are even more boring than Oasis, which I thought would be pretty low to aim.
(, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:21, Reply)
Did you see that withering review someone linked to on here?It was proper scathing and v funny.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:23,
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I didn't thankfully, and won't be looking. I was a few yerds away from the horrible cunt, that was bad enough. Met him several times, what a nasty, obnoxious, self important fucking gobshite. Liam's a star however, dead nice guy. Not the brightest star in the Heavens, but, fuck it.
(, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:25, Reply)
I thought it was the other way round?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:29,
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Nope.Both are loud gobshites, that's what too much charlie does, but Liam's a nice guy. Noel however, has a nasty, vicious streak in him.
(, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:32, Reply)
I once accidentally urinated on Noel Gallagher's shoe.This is now the 834th time I have posted this.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:31,
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I once pissed next to Chris Evans and totally forgot to punch him senseless and piss on his bleeding face.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:33,
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I was once at a wedding with a professional Chris Evans lookalike.Now there is a depressing life.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:35,
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If doing that for living doesn't make you feel suicidal then nothing will.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:39,
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This one?www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/reviews/album-noel-gallaghers-high-flying-birds-noel-gallaghers-high-flying-birds-sour-mash-2371497.html
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:25,
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To be fair though ... dad rock is a genre that sells millions of albums and he's about the most competent dad rock songwriter since Paul Weller.There's nowt wrong with being a smug fucker when you've made millions of money from doing a dreary job competently. You bunch of commies.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:32,
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I wish Culture Shock would reform.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:23,
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DA-D-DADA-DA-DADA,PRESSURE.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:29,
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For those of you who wonder wgat we're rambling on about.www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrF2zcHQ4YM
(, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:34, Reply)
They were fucking brilliant at Treworgey.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:36,
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Citizen Fish, however, were shite.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:40,
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I don't hate them.Which is a similar non opinion, really.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 11:16,
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