Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
Proper evening thread time!What is your worst/best lie ever?
alt: why don't i believe you?
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 19:06,
171 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
I pretended to have a mouse when I was 6 or so.It even got released into the wild at school.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 19:11,
Reply)
that;s pretty cutedid it have a name?
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 19:15,
Reply)
it weren't no fish. that would be insane.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 19:48,
Reply)
exactlyan imaginary mouse called Turbot would be awesomecrazycute
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 19:51,
Reply)
i did not have sexual relations with that woman(
Lisette von Falcon, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 19:14,
Reply)
I've kept the proof in the freezerTo preserve it.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 19:46,
Reply)
I started a lie at Glastonbury once that gained almost site-wide rumour mill acceptanceI can't even remember what it was. Somebody died or summat.
And I once convinced a group of strangers that I did a slightly different but equally unremarkable job to the one I actually did ... just because I could. I'm well good at lying.
(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 19:18,
Reply)
and a great story teller(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 19:19,
Reply)
I love photography (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 19:25,
Reply)
Watching the footy?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 19:58,
Reply)
We're losing (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:10,
Reply)
Good.It justifies Wenger's decision to put Henry in the 25 man squad.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:14,
Reply)
I didn't see them going through (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:27,
Reply)
I'm really Into Film.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 19:55,
Reply)
This thread is really making my evening(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 19:59,
Reply)
Have a wank(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:00,
Reply)
I'm at work, wanking at work is what a bogwanker would do, I am not a bogwanker(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:10,
Reply)
yayit's opposites day
and you are my favourite poster
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:01,
Reply)
But there are loads of better posters than me !!(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:09,
Reply)
Yeah, that one of the tennis girl scratching her arse, for starters.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:29,
Reply)
I won't cum in your mouth.Alt: because my spunk is dribbling out of your nostrils.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:02,
Reply)
well given that the above was said to his bossas she wasn't so chuffed about it...
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:11,
Reply)
Really good thanks. Looking forward to seeing you on Saturday.Have you seen this: www.fox5vegas.com/story/16937627/man-suffers-heart-attack-at-heart-attack-grill
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:13,
Reply)
I'll click the link later.I'm on my phone at the mo, Saturday should be a right giggle, what time are you getting there?
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:18,
Reply)
About 7 I think. Will text you when en route. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:20,
Reply)
'giggle'?Are you going to swap stories about boys and plait each other's hair?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:30,
Reply)
Some Scouse bint has corrupted her brother and is whisking him from the bosom of his family?(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:35,
Reply)
Could be worse.Could be a fat bald geordie.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:39,
Reply)
Are you calling me a......oh, hang on - THAT one.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:40,
Reply)
Nope, full and lustrous head of hair, me.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:49,
Reply)
I'm shit at lying.Alt: because I'm shit at lying.
Evening, Cavy. You're looking especially lovely tonight.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:31,
Reply)
why thank....wait a minute! damn
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:32,
Reply)
Had a bit of a stupid last minute panicwhen I realised that I hadn't saved my shiny new CV, and that the last interview I got was off the back of my useless old CV.
This is very confusing.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:46,
Reply)
Friday night lights is my new favourite programme(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:48,
Reply)
i have a strong desire to compete in a dance battle(
Lisette von Falcon, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 20:52,
Reply)
Oh god, the japanese girl on Master Chef is unbelievably cute.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 21:16,
Reply)
See, shit at lying, I know you totally digg me =)What's up with that though, why don't you like her?
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 21:21,
Reply)
Ahh, coolio, well, take my word for it, she's very cute.How you doing b3th? I made a lovely garlic butter for my pizza express home-cooked doughballs, way better than their butter. Got a dark kitkat for afters.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 21:33,
Reply)
I'm very well thank you Sir.We had Malaysian beef rendang for dinner, followed by toffee cornetto.
I think we win.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 21:38,
Reply)
toffee cornetoes exist?!!Why was I not informed?
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:01,
Reply)
They're Morrisons own brandTwo boxes of SIX for £2.
I kid you not.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:05,
Reply)
I *was* considering eating better and looking after myself more. But I have a big freezer compartment nowadays and a morrisons not too far away! Let the housewhaling commence!
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:11,
Reply)
If you ever leave the house, you'll inevitably see your ex husbandHe'll be thinking "Christ what was I thinking of"
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:15,
Reply)
"I never should have cheated on that hunk of womanhood"?"What the fuck am I doing in Wales?"?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:17,
Reply)
If you paid any attention to her posts you'd note that she frequently sees her ex husband at larpget with the sisterhood
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:19,
Reply)
well if he paid attentionto my boring missives, he'd know I only went twice last year
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:21,
Reply)
That's like loads of times when you don't want to be bumping into your ex husband both dressed like twats with his new biatch in tow(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:23,
Reply)
soz 'cheating' biatch in tow(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:24,
Reply)
i should complain about himto the elders of herofest
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:25,
Reply)
I need details, I'm always on to them, I'm one of the trusted inner circle of dwarvin orc elves (
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:33,
Reply)
"If you paid any attention to her posts"(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:21,
Reply)
I can barely remember where I livelet alone what I read on the internet once.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:28,
Reply)
fear not, below average intelligence, and limited insight into what they themselves are writing let alone others is a common trait of this messageboard(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:30,
Reply)
I think that's truebut trying to understand it is hurting my feeble brain.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:34,
Reply)
best stay in thenwith all these friendly ice creams
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:17,
Reply)
Although gaz me up with some photos of when you met, your wedding day and how fat you both are now so that I can pass some more considered judgement(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:17,
Reply)
yes, of course i will, right away(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:19,
Reply)
I'm only trying to help here, NO WONDER YOU@RE DIVORCED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:21,
Reply)
Finally a descent link that I can get behind(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:28,
Reply)
I never disliked what he did(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:31,
Reply)
I dig his work in the Beastie Boys, but that Hand in my Head and Maybe I'm Dead were shit.(, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:33, Reply)
so very hurtfulbut I know you are angry and just lashing out, I will forgive you this once
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:26,
Reply)
You are either The Devilor an honest politician.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 21:19,
Reply)
but you are a liarwhich makes the chances that you are in fact a politian since a) you have admitted to lying a lot, so your statement is more likey to be a lie and b) politians love lying.
But what if a negates itself??! HEAD ASPLODE
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:00,
Reply)
Me and my dad were fed up with my mum liking Boys II Menso we told her they were sex offenders who met in prison.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 21:23,
Reply)
Oh lol, this reminds me.At work the other day my director was gently ribbing one of the guys in my office about him going to see Boyz II Men, 'a boyband', she kept saying.
He then accidentally referred to them as Boyz 4 Men.
Funny as fuck.
(, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 21:32, Reply)
My landlord saw my aunty's Bagpuss toy and said "Awwww, Skagpuss!"
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 21:36,
Reply)
that's why I said "Bagpuss toy" and didn't leave it at Bagpuss.You dirty mare.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 21:48,
Reply)
No.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:39,
Reply)
The missus is going down to visit her tomorrow for a few days.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:40,
Reply)
She's been reet poorly.But she's on the mend!
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:42,
Reply)
No idea.I'm a DogFucker not a Doctor!
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:43,
Reply)
Oh Jeff...(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:42,
Reply)
Something for your W:\ this lonely weekend though!(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:44,
Reply)
Once I finish another bloody application offI'm going to chill for a couple of days.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:46,
Reply)
A job.Badum-tish. Right, I'm off for a bit, stuff to do.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:51,
Reply)
Have fun.(I asusme 'stuff' means, 'gone for a tab').
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:52,
Reply)
Not that any of you careBut I'd like to point out that I'm not in work now until Tuesday.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:54,
Reply)
I'd like to point outthat you're 'fucking bent'.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:55,
Reply)
That's a shameAs I was going to come to WsM on Friday and I was going to see if you fancied letting me buy you lunch.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:57,
Reply)
I don't knowWeston's pretty dusty.
What if it doesn't meet your rigorous standards?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:59,
Reply)
Damn you and your failure to let me LIE :-((
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:00,
Reply)
Quite a productive one, which isn't like me.So, what are you going to do with your huge number of free days?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:05,
Reply)
Sleep.I might do some shopping and I might apply for some jobs.
The latter being most important.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:06,
Reply)
Well, I need to step things up.I was offered work in Edinburgh, but I wasn't comfortable with the terms and conditions.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:09,
Reply)
Why does everyone want to go to Edinburgh?Edinburgh is shit.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:11,
Reply)
I'm not bothered either way.But an offer was made, but after expenses, I'd be worse off.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:15,
Reply)
I like Edinburgh.It's infinitely preferable to London.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:18,
Reply)
I'm a Weegie at heart.I always loved living there.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:19,
Reply)
See, I like Glasgow as wellbut I just love the architecture and general appearance of Edinburgh more.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:21,
Reply)
I like hills.Now't wrong with a good hill.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:24,
Reply)
Checks post again.No, there seems to be no mention of your wife, who, if the toilet walls are to believed - has her own cock - mentioned there.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:01,
Reply)
In further good news a pair of shoes I want are down to 39 bones in the sale. Hurrah.
(, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:01, Reply)
The other colours are nicer but I have eight million pairs of brown/dark beige trainers.www.youmustcreate.com/products/footwear/saddle-trainer/
For 39 quid they'll be good beater trainers.
(, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:07, Reply)
Did you ever get some Clarks originals?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:10,
Reply)
Nah. I have too many pairs of Mark McNairy/Quoddy/Yuketen shoes that are very similar (but miles better). Annoyed I didn't ever get the waxed Wallabees though.
(, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:12, Reply)
Did you get that t-shirt in the end?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:13,
Reply)
I picked it up today aye. It's amazing but the medium is pretty big on me. Small was tiny though. Should shrink a bit in the wash.
(, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:16, Reply)
That is a lot of coinage mate.How many times will you wear it before you get bored of it?
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:39,
Reply)
I don't think I'll ever get bored of it.I have a stupid amount of t-shirts so the one I bought today is the only sort I'll buy from now on. They have to be amazing for me to warrant getting it. Rather get that and not find another amazing one for a couple months than get a few average ones for the same price in that time.
(, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:49, Reply)
How would you describe your style?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:52,
Reply)
Were they a squillion pounds at full price?(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:02,
Reply)
I get this joke.You're pretending not to be a massive bender. for comic effect.
Very funny.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:12,
Reply)
Alsothey're hideously expensive designer shoes, recognisable by the fact that they have red soles.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:13,
Reply)
I've justed googled, and yes. They are a bit pricey.How many pairs do you have?
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:15,
Reply)
I'm going to wait and get a really nice pair for the funeral.I've just seen an advert for a 'Sandwich Production Assistant'.
I'm getting seriously tempted.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:16,
Reply)
Is it in the 'testing' department?(You'll be grateful for that, I was going to ask how much 'bread' it paid, or if the 'dough' was good).
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:28,
Reply)
I don't imagine it pays a decent crust.And on that note, I'm off to bed. Try not to miss me too much, y'all.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 23:31,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »