Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So Matko Mladic is up on trial for war crimes.As a pinko hippy, I class war as a crime, even though my favourite reading at the moment is military history and fiction. What do you class as a crime, that actually isn't? Such as bad grammar, or moaning about the weather.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:40, 180 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Hang on, so what you're saying here, is that Monty is a post deleting shitcunt?Wow, who'd have thought it?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:46,
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I'll have you know I'm held in very high regard around these parts.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:51,
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Please keep your impersonation of Apeloverage to a minimum and for fuck's sake don't try and copy his books.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:03,
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It just wasn't funny.Soz everyone.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:49,
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Did you recognise me in those pics?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:01,
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It took me a while, but once the cocks were out of the way and you took your gimp mask off it was obvious.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:06, Reply)
I occasionally hesitate briefly before hitting "post this message"But no, I've never allowed being an unfunny cunt to stop me from posting.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:02,
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So it is your fault he is still breathing. You should have killed him when you had the chance. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:51,
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I was taking his picture,and I'm not really meant to kill clients/customers.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:59, Reply)
Jesus Christ. I'm glad I pay my license fee now.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:50,
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yeah me too and the new orleans one, because it was so clearly a new orleans slang sounding type thing(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:54, Reply)
3/7 - and I guessed one of those :( This has spoiled my lunch.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:58,
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I'm sure that someone stuck bread and meat together,before the good Earl did.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:00, Reply)
Disagreeing with me should be a crime.The fact that it isn't is in itself a crime.
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Kroney, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:50,
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You are two 'smelly tramp' references away from my gazzing Scarynonce.I'll fucken do it I'm tellin' ya.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:55,
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____ __ __ U _____ u _ _ __ __
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/\___ \/ \| |\/| |/ | _|"U | | uU | | u \ V /
u___) | | | | | | |___ \| |/__\| |/__ U_|"|_u
|____/ - |_| |_| |_____| |_____||_____| |_|
)( (__) ,-,,-. // \\ // \\ // \\.-,//|(_
(__) (./ \.) (__) (__)_")("_)_")("_)\_) (__)
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:02,
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_____ ____ _ __ __ ____ _ _
|_ " _|U | _"\ uU /"\ uU|' \/ '|uU| _"\ uU|"|uU|"|u
| | \| |_) |/ \/ _ \/ \| |\/| |/\| |_) |/\| |/\| |/
/| |\ | _ / / ___ \ | | | | | __/ |_| |_|
u |_|U |_| \_\ /_/ \_\ |_| |_| |_| (_) (_)
_// \\_ // \\_ \\ \\ ,-,,-. ||\\_ |||_ |||_
(__) (__)(__) (__)__) (__)(./ \.) (__)__) (__)_)__)_)
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:03,
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RIGHT THAT'S IT.I suggest you say your goodbyes on here rigth away because withing literally MINUTES you are gonna be SO banned.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:04,
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Yeah but I got Chomp on-side.We're well tight.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:09,
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damn chomp, the one renegade mod whose scruples are for sale to the lowest bidder(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:17, Reply)
i'm going to pretend its like when you roast three birds insode of each otherand call it turdfucken, something that all the gays do
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:04, Reply)
Turdfucken sounds like an Austrian ski resort.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:07,
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Where the gentleman go "skiing"A lucky Pierre-esque wankathon
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:14,
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It is a crime against humanity that Apeloverage is allowed to write.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:53,
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I would outlaw the discrimination facing certain sections of society when wanting to ride a rollercoaster(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:55,
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Because you are a MASSIVE CUM-GARGLING HOMOSEXUAL.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:58,
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I had a nightmare about gyppoes last nightI was trying to escape from them by hiding in abandoned tube trains.
But it was alright at the end because Keith Richards was in my company's warehouse.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:57,
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i like how phone companies go 'oh yeah we'll give you 500 free texts and 500mb of data every month!'like they're giving you something, those 500 texts could probably take up about 0.5% of the data plan if they did it properly
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:08, Reply)
I have unlimited free texts and calls and EVERYTHING.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:13,
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In November, I had a thousand free messages."That'll be plenty," I thought. Then I used two thousand and had a 200 quid phone bill.
Bent.
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Kroney, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:08,
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fuck off, no you didn't2000+ texts would mean you were sending one every 10 mins 24 hours a day or shit
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:09, Reply)
ah ok my maths was out, its 0.36 per hourdo-able i guess, but you must have ahd sore thumbs
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:10, Reply)
I'd struggle to type slowly enoughto only manage one text every three hours.
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Kroney, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:12,
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At 0.36 texts an hourthere's plenty of time for sleep. In fact, I'm pretty sure I could sleep for 23 hours and still knock out the same amount of texts in just the one hour.
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Kroney, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:15,
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Kroney is a 13 year old girl on the internet(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:10,
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08:00 Please don't leave me08:10 Why did you leave me? :(
08:20 Why did you leave me? :(
08:30 Why did you leave me? :(
08:40 Why did you leave me? :(
08:50 Why did you leave me? :(
09:00 Why did you leave me? :(
09:10 Why did you leave me? :(
09:20 Why did you leave me? :(
09:30 Why did you leave me? :(
09:40 Why did you leave me? :(
09:50 Why did you leave me? :(
10:00 Why did you leave me? :(
10:10 Why did you leave me? :(
10:20 Why did you leave me? :(
10:30 Why did you leave me? :(
10:40 Why did you leave me? :(
10:50 Why did you leave me? :(
11:00 Why did you leave me? :(
11:10 Why did you leave me? :(
11:20 Why did you leave me? :(
11:30 Why did you leave me? :(
11:40 Why did you leave me? :(
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:22, Reply)
hahahaha'Kroney's 'log' bedroom date 2.781, communications with the species known as woman have broken down, only the holodeck can ease my suffering now. Load "Frozen Fecal Fantasies"'
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:25,
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now work out how many texts it would be factoring in 8 hours sleepi keep coming up with fewer texts per hour, and that ain't right
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:33, Reply)
how did you get to that conclusion? very close to mine, what did i miss?(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:36, Reply)
it is if you think about itbecause it won't have been a steady rate, you'd have gone hours without sending one, then you'd send tens or possibly hundreds in one hour,a nd then lull again
2000 is a lot
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:38, Reply)
if he sent very long textsthey could guzzle up 4 or 5 at a time?
i had a boyfriend who used to send me dreadful texts that would say things like "c u" and "4" and all the text speak i loathe. i was so relieved when i found out he had a shit old phone that simply couldn't cope with multiple messages.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:51,
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*Rozalla lols*
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:07,
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Rozalla's big hit Everybody Free Free?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:10,
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I once made up a lie about my mate Paulsaying that when she did a live PA at a rave we went to, I turned round and saw him crying, with his hands in the air.
It was a complete lie but within about two days was 'definitely true' and remains so to this day.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:12,
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I know a bent spastic called Naked Ape(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:21,
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YOU DON'T KNOW ME, NOBODY DOES*waits for september to end*
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:22,
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AA, give Apey his login back please(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:43,
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Public Announcement?What, were the bogs at the venue blocked, or something?
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Kroney, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:20,
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Littering and spitting, I realise these aren't exactly legal butif we made them punishable by death then that would probably help
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:40,
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Tucking your trousers into your socks when not riding a pushbikeCrossbow bolt to face
In other news, I'm working from home today and have Depeche Mode - In Your Room [The Jeep Rock Mix] on. It is the fuck
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:42,
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*tucks it away*No, ermmmmm.....
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:43,
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ok, i've been telling a Chlorophytum comosum about the benefits of a low yield pensionnow what?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:46, Reply)
hey man a lot of effort went into that post, i had to google the proper name for a spider plant and come up with a boring subjectyou don't appreciate nothing, don't be a h8r
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:59, Reply)
Great effort Q, I really like how you did some research into your answer and you tried really hard with your blending. Next time really think about how those sounds go together and how you might improve your spelling.
IW.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:08, Reply)
Well you mentioned gypsies Monty.www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4317934/Romanian-beggars-set-up-camp-on-Londons-posh-Park-Lane.html
This should amuse you, the comments are excellent.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:47, Reply)
ooh so many. firstly: baseless arroganceit's fine to be a bit cocky (not too much) if you've achieved a lot in life and can justify it. if you've actually achieved the arse-end of fuck-all, go out and do Something before preaching. otherwise you look like a twat.
secondly: parents who can ONLY talk about their children. a bit of chat is fine. when it consumes your life? get another one.
thirdly: double dipping. as discussed here many times before.
fourthly: farting on the tube. it's NOT cool OR clever OR funny OR socially acceptable, you stinking cock-end.
fifthly: being cheap for no reason, as in refusing to leave a tip, or splitting the bill to the last penny cheap.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:49,
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I don't tip unless the service has been good, that's the way it worksIf they are poor or average, fuck'em
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:51,
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This^Good service = good tip
Average/shit service = no tip
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:53,
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crap service is differenti mean people who don't understand why they should tip. and argue about it in the restaurant. it makes me cringe. i just can't bear pikeyness.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:53,
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I have hummous for lunch that will be double dipped like a mother fucker(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:51,
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Sometimes I lick hummus straight from the pot or eat it with my fingers(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:52,
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Its my fucking hummousI'll eat it how I want!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:53,
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A couple of people I know have had children recentlySo Facebook is currently fucking stuffed full of pictures these people have taken and posted, every ten minutes, of their bloody child.
I'd remove them, but Al has taught me that if you remove a Facebook friend, they bleat about it endlessly thus becoming more annoying than the original offence.
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Kroney, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:52,
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^ This Plus adding captions as if it is the fucking baby posting them.
"I love my new teddy! Thx auntie xxx"
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:56,
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what's double dipping?you talking about the recession or some sordid sex thing?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:52, Reply)
say that you and your colleague go out for lunchand you have chips and a joint pot of mayo, or strips of pitta and a joint stash of houmous.
your colleague dips the end. fine. then they put the carbs in their mouth and bite, thus infesting the bitten end with their teeth and saliva. THEN THEY DIP THE BITTEN END BACK IN THE COMMUNAL DIP. NO NO NO NO NO. fucking rank. see also eating someone else's left-overs and sharing their toothbrush (yak).
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:54,
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It is acceptable to turn the chip round?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:55,
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it's not a dumpable offencebut the polite thing to do is to take a section of the dip with a knife and put it on your own plate. then you can do what the blue fuck you like with it. you can roll your grandmother's titties around in it and suckle them clean if you really like.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:56,
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what is neurotic about not wanting someone else's spit and mouth germs in your food?(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:58,
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But sucking their cock is fine?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:59,
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what if his cock has just been in someone else's mouth?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:09,
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but if I chomp the end off a crudite, then turn ity around, none of my spit will go into the humms(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:00,
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Grandmother's titties you say?*ponders*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:57,
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fucks sake woman, some of us have lung cancer and all you care about is your ranch dressing(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:56, Reply)
That is more wrong than salad cream(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:02,
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tartare sauce is deliciousi love the one with jalapenos at my favourite local pub
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:06,
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Double dipping?As in having to do 2 Ecstasies as they're crap nowadays? Or have I missed something?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:52, Reply)
Double strength acid blotters.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:10,
Reply)
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