Off Topic
Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest,
836,
835,
834,
833,
832, ...
1
« Go Back |
Popular
That thread got big. I can't be bothered to read through it.
What can't you be bothered to do today?
NB: I can, however, be bothered to vanity search. I do not smell of Jo Malone, although I did once. The train ride home stinking of woman's perfume was EXCELLENT fun. Especially since it was one of the last that day and was packed. I got Looks. It turns out that what may smell good on a woman makes a man smell like a tart's gusset. I also do not smell of garlic and camembert. I stink of red wine, like all good Frenchmen.
(
Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:33,
151 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
Oxymoron there.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:33,
Reply)
I aint gonna post in your thread
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
I don't want you to, anyway :'(
(
Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:35,
Reply)
it's ok kroney I was just being 'edgy' and 'off the wall' and 'krazy'
you loveable cunt
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:37,
Reply)
It's not true what everybody says about you, you know.
Let's man-hug.
(
Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:40,
Reply)
there's a damp creamy mess in my pants at the very thought
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:42,
Reply)
I am not feeling very good today.
I cannot be bothered to do anything at all, and would like to be in bed.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
How's your imminent kidney failure coming along?
Can you taste metal, yet?
(
Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:35,
Reply)
:o((((((((
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:36,
Reply)
lower back pain is also not a very good sign
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:38,
Reply)
A slightly numb pain
as though somebody's punched you is the one to look out for, I believe?
I give him about twenty minutes before he turns yellow and starts poisoning himself from within.
(
Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:39,
Reply)
yer, that's the one
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:40,
Reply)
I've been doing that for over twenty years.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:40,
Reply)
You're a trekkie.
You smell of desperation and loneliness.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:36,
Reply)
ZING!
(
The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:37,
Reply)
You've named yourself after a character in a Terry Pratchett book
Stones, glass houses etc.
(
Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:40,
Reply)
You tell him, Ensign!
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:42,
Reply)
This is true
Although Discworld is a little more mainstream than Trek.
(
The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:42,
Reply)
Still didn't help get you laid though did it.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:44,
Reply)
Eh what?
I can't think of a single person who got laid using discworld. I do know of a bloke who was seduced with Tom Lehrer though.
(
The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:50,
Reply)
I bet even that cunt Pratchett didn't.
Not that he'd remember it anyway.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:52,
Reply)
I think dressing like the world's most middle class pimp
is what put the kibosh on Pratchett's sexy exploits.
(
Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:53,
Reply)
The times I've seen him
he was dressed like a gay cowboy at a real ale festival.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:55,
Reply)
no it's not it's shit and bent and everyone that reads it will get alzhiemers
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:50,
Reply)
I'm cross with you, but I can't remember why.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:52,
Reply)
errr me neither
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:53,
Reply)
Is it because he's a bender?
(
Jimmy Saville's bitch Is a sucker for gold jewellery, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:53,
Reply)
You forgot 'spastic'
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:54,
Reply)
Have I said how nice it is to have you back?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:56,
Reply)
td;dr
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:37,
Reply)
I can't be bothered working.
Hence being here.
(
The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:38,
Reply)
^^this
rather sleep.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:39,
Reply)
^this
Although, I have done a lot of work already today. Now I'm bored, and knackered.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:39,
Reply)
Is that festival happening again this year?
Headlining the awesome Blue Haze
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:39,
Reply)
Oh man!!!!!!
Haze-stock is back on???????
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:41,
Reply)
What is he on about now?
(
The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:42,
Reply)
Okay, I'll explain it very slowly, since you're clearly a bit thick.
You are a virgin.
But you are trying to draw attention away from this by claiming to have had loads of birds, like.
This makes you sound similar to Captain Hood-Butter who also once claimed this.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:46,
Reply)
That's a bit of a strange statement to make.
I never once mentioned anything of that personal a nature. But fair enough.
(
The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:47,
Reply)
He's posted up pictures of his model girlfriend Tara
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=37903
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:43,
Reply)
He used to have actual nude pics of his wife on his profile.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:45,
Reply)
that crazy alzheimers fool
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:46,
Reply)
True.
Gammy, saggy old tits and all.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:46,
Reply)
Proper lol here.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:46,
Reply)
I like the way he says he chose to give up an Aston-Martin V8
for a Sierra.
(
Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:46,
Reply)
is there nothing that man hasn't done
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:49,
Reply)
I'm done. All finished. Everyone is paid. Invoices out.
I even came in yesterday morning to make sure all my work was done for the end of today.
I refuse to do anything else.
(
Jimmy Saville's bitch Is a sucker for gold jewellery, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:46,
Reply)
You should rub one out in the office and drink some cider.
Get some practice in for the weekend.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:46,
Reply)
I'm off sex.
I'm not off cider though.
(
Jimmy Saville's bitch Is a sucker for gold jewellery, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:48,
Reply)
You could have sex with cider.
I'm sure there's an excellent "in cider" joke to be had there.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:51,
Reply)
I hope your jokes are going to improve over the weekend.
(
Jimmy Saville's bitch Is a sucker for gold jewellery, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:52,
Reply)
Yeah good luck with that.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:54,
Reply)
I don't hold out a lot of hope either.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
It's gonna be muddy, Al...
(
thealternativefact, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:58,
Reply)
It's alright, I've got waterproof trousers.
And a BGB to carry me around.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
What do you prefer? Fireman's lift or piggy back?
(
Jimmy Saville's bitch Is a sucker for gold jewellery, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:01,
Reply)
Can you put me in your pouch so I can suckle while we walk?
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:02,
Reply)
Haha!
(
Jimmy Saville's bitch Is a sucker for gold jewellery, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:03,
Reply)
Do you have a chair?
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
A folding one, yes.
(
Jimmy Saville's bitch Is a sucker for gold jewellery, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
Oh man...I might have to get one.
Or I could just sit in the mud.
Or on Al's (removed first) waterproof trousers.
(
thealternativefact, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:01,
Reply)
I was going to leave them in the van in case of emergency.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:02,
Reply)
Van? Waterproof trousers.
You've changed, Al.
Edit: And an awning?
FFS
(
thealternativefact, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:02,
Reply)
I know. For the better.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:04,
Reply)
Not a moment too soon.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:04,
Reply)
It's been a struggle for us all, Monters.
(
thealternativefact, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:06,
Reply)
I for one wouldn't want to change a hair on his head.
*snigger*
(
Jimmy Saville's bitch Is a sucker for gold jewellery, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
tee hee
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:09,
Reply)
Harsh.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
Innit doe.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:22,
Reply)
I also have some plastic sheeting to sit on.
For emergencies.
(
Jimmy Saville's bitch Is a sucker for gold jewellery, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:02,
Reply)
We have an awning.
It will be lovely and dry.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:03,
Reply)
YAY!
This is going to be fun.
(
thealternativefact, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:03,
Reply)
I hope so.
I'm overdue for some fun.
(
Jimmy Saville's bitch Is a sucker for gold jewellery, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:04,
Reply)
You bloody well are.
I was supposed to send you something beforehand but I managed to forget there was a BH holiday in the way, so I'll do it when I get back.
(
thealternativefact, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:05,
Reply)
Ooo! Ok.
*ponders*
(
Jimmy Saville's bitch Is a sucker for gold jewellery, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:06,
Reply)
I was in the office at 7 this morning, so I am now at the stage that I can't be arsed to do anymore.
I shall leave at 4.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:52,
Reply)
I was in at 8 and have been at the same position as this since, err, 8:10.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:53,
Reply)
i like wearing men's cologne
(
Lisette von Falcon, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
I wonder if this is an appropriate time to shout "I LOVE LAMP!!"
And be ever so original.
(
The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:01,
Reply)
I wonder if this is an appropriate time for you to learn what being with a woman feels like.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:02,
Reply)
Yeah! even I know that.
(
Jimmy Saville's bitch Is a sucker for gold jewellery, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:10,
Reply)
I wonder what the appropriate response to this would be?
(
The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:12,
Reply)
DYAAKY
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:13,
Reply)
In your case, perhaps this is a good thing.
(
The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
No, you seem to have missunderstood, though I'm not sure how.
I'm saying that you should DYAAKY.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
It's not exactly a secret on here.
(
Jimmy Saville's bitch Is a sucker for gold jewellery, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
So do I!
(
Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:02,
Reply)
it is better on a man
Lord have mercy, ain't nothing quite as nice as a good smelling man
(
Lisette von Falcon, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:05,
Reply)
That last line makes you sound like a southern belle.
Also, I can think of quite a few things nicer than a good smelling man.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:08,
Reply)
Hundreds of supermodels disagree
Hood-Butter has his own line, so successful has his wearing of it been.
(
Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:12,
Reply)
monty's had a few lines in his time
doesn't make him successful
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
Zing!
(
Jimmy Saville's bitch Is a sucker for gold jewellery, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:15,
Reply)
i think being tired has made me a bit naughty today.
perhaps i should just dmaakm
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:16,
Reply)
There's more suicide threats on here than the depression forum I was on.
(
Jimmy Saville's bitch Is a sucker for gold jewellery, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:17,
Reply)
i'm just tired.
i might fuck off for a bit and crash out.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
Inexplicably, I woke up at 4:45 this morning.
Realising this was waaaaay too early, I went back to sleep until 6:30. I've felt like shit all day since. Any explanations? Haven't been bothered to do anything all day - even though I've booked flights to Germany, sorted out a hotel and started on my presentation for the meeting I'm still pretty meh.
As to smell - I smell of Hugo Boss and easystart (still can't get the petrol strimmer started!)
(
Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:04,
Reply)
So you smell of Germans and petrol?
That can't be a good thing...
(
The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
Germans and Ether
An even less appetising combination!
(
Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:16,
Reply)
Smelling like a rapey sausage fiend.
Wonderful.
(
The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
Hugo Boss was a committed Nazi.
(
Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:32,
Reply)
True to his cause or stayed in a nuthouse?
(
The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:35,
Reply)
As was Adi Dassler.
And Rudolf Dassler too I see.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:04,
Reply)
I don't think Easyjet are sorry to be keeping me waiting
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:15,
Reply)
I'm sorry you're being kept waiting.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:22,
Reply)
I'm sure they're positively mortified at keeping you waiting.
(
Jimmy Saville's bitch Is a sucker for gold jewellery, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:22,
Reply)
I think it's one of those situations where they *say* they are sorry
but really they don't care if you die in a horrendous house fire.
(
Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:23,
Reply)
I also don't care if he dies in a horrendous house fire.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:26,
Reply)
I care very deeply that he hasn't.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
Sorry "Shameless Mick"
I'd popped out to buy some fags alright?!
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
Totally crossing my fingers for the old
falling-asleep-in-bed-with-lit-cigarette "tragedy", right here.
(
Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:31,
Reply)
^ this ^
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:32,
Reply)
I hope a klingon shoves their phaser up your cock end so you shit out a Shatner
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:34,
Reply)
With all that seasoned wood on your floor
your flat'll go up a treat.
(
Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:36,
Reply)
it burns because it's true
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:38,
Reply)
true wood
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:54,
Reply)
Right! I'm off the the gym.
Better work on my upper body if I'm going to be carting Al around all weekend.
(
Jimmy Saville's bitch Is a sucker for gold jewellery, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:28,
Reply)
Will you be saying "Hodor" every time he talks to you?
(
The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:31,
Reply)
whats a vanity search?
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:33,
Reply)
It's what cunts do
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:34,
Reply)
I get one page and it's all bullyin
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:39,
Reply)
yeah when are they gonna realise being a bent spastic is a compliment?
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
I meant if you search for NAked_ape, ACtually
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:50,
Reply)
shut up you bent spastic
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:51,
Reply)
you've changed man
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:54,
Reply)
that's how evolution works, you bent spastic
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:56,
Reply)
Shut up Nakers you bent spastic.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:57,
Reply)
That's it, I'm NEVER coming for pizza now
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
Has anyone recently mentioned what a bent spastic you are?
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:58,
Reply)
shut up you bent midget spastic
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:01,
Reply)
What, hang on, you're a bird now?
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
5am shut up floor spactic day off bent
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:03,
Reply)
You bent 'spactic'
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:04,
Reply)
He's so bent and spactic he can't even spell bent and spactic.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:05,
Reply)
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and call him a bent spactic.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:06,
Reply)
I hope the limb breaks and you fall to your death
and the limb was your leg and it really hurts
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:07,
Reply)
You can talk, what with your spactic limbs and all.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:08,
Reply)
yours would be this
b3ta.com/search/posts?q=Quinten
(
PsychoChomp, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:37,
Reply)
i don't like how herb's being mean about me there
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:42,
Reply)
Well, this is good isn't it?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:16,
Reply)
kroney's a well known ruiner
he'll die unloved and alone, you mark my words
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:17,
Reply)
Within the next week, I hope.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:18,
Reply)
My biggest problem
is that I'm almost *too* sexy.
(
Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:30,
Reply)
I've started a new thread.
Saving the internet, one thread at a time.
(
PsychoChomp, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:20,
Reply)
Should have gone into work
didn't bother. Bought more stuff to make costume from instead. I will regret this decision when I pick up the box of marking tomorrow
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:18,
Reply)
this thread is dead and the new question is shit and dull
fab. meanwhile i have to work for people who do things like review my fee quote and ask if i can just confirm that they are definitely going to win BEFORE they approve the quote. yes. yes i'd love to spend 5 hours reading everything for free, then give you an opinion, only for you to say "oh well, i no longer need the work then, i'm gonna win."
i hate clients sometimes.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:25,
Reply)
The next time some Doris has a crack at me about having "man-flu"
I'm going to point her at your Facebook for today.
(
Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:31,
Reply)
i am sicker than a sick dog on sick drugs
this NEVER happens to me. why? why?? whyyyyyyyyyyyy???
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:35,
Reply)
Because you're a pussy.
(
Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:36,
Reply)
you leave your filthy talk out of this
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:38,
Reply)
I wouldn't know how. It's just the way I am.
(
Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:40,
Reply)
« Go Back |
Reply To This »
Pages: Latest,
836,
835,
834,
833,
832, ...
1