If people really believed life was shit they wouldn't have kids.
I think life is pretty good, I saw two people fucking up the back alley behind reese witherspoons this weekend, she nearly dropped her chips. That made life worth living
( Peej, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:30, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I haven't got kids.

( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:31, Reply)

I've got one you can borrow for a cuddle

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:36, Reply)

Haha!
I have my nephew for cuddles, although he's getting to that age where it's getting a bit embarrasing for him.
( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:38, Reply)

Also she vommed everywhere last night
apparently Strawberries are a very strong allegen
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:39, Reply)

Baby sick is low on the eww scale.

( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:40, Reply)

yeah, she hadn't even bothered to digest her dinner
so the brocolli came up pretty much intact.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:43, Reply)

Not as bad as filled nappies once they start eating solid food.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:44, Reply)

With one exception
When they have a full stomach of milk and it comes up lumpy like cottage cheese. It fucking stinks and is horrible to clean up, I am so glad I have oak flooring!
( Peej, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:45, Reply)

This is why my car has leather seats. Much easier to clean baby puke off.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:47, Reply)

yeah but does it have a solid oak floor?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:53, Reply)

And it wooden start!

( Peej, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 15:01, Reply)

hahahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 15:01, Reply)

I could never do that. It's so grotty.
I'd at least retreat to the car or failing that, some woods.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:32, Reply)

Once I saw woman standing on the street with her knickers round her ankles
I asked her if she was ok and she said "Oh has he gone?"
( Peej, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:40, Reply)

HAHAHAHA!
I saw a stream of piss apparently eminating from the front bumper of a car, as I moved around said vehicle there was a girl,crouched in a miniskirt, growler out havinga piss; her friend appeared to be passed out on the steering wheel, it was 5:30 pm.

You stay classy Bristol
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:42, Reply)

Ha ha.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:43, Reply)

In Ponty, they have public lavs down near one of the pubs.
Just an open brick structure with a trough urinal in it. Went in for a wee on my way home one evening to see a sturdy-legged Welsh girl, stood up, knickers down, legs apart directing a fierce stream of hot piss at the thing. It was a torrent. Made me feel quite inadequate.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:45, Reply)

Women do gush more
Their urethra is much shorter than a blokes and it all kinda pours out. Its amazing that they take so long in the bogs.
( Peej, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:46, Reply)

Too busy telling all their mates about noshing off Dean
in the back of his mum's Corsa, aren't they.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:48, Reply)

I saw a woman crouched outside Liverpool St station (member Our Price) during evening rush hour
having a shit. The crowds parting like the Red Sea around her.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:51, Reply)

hahaha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:53, Reply)

I saw a tramp sitting down, cross-legged
arcing his piss into a drain from a clear four or five feet away. In broad daylight. On the High Street.

In Guildford.

The waves of pure horror from the adults and unbridled glee from the children (and me) were palpable. His aim was impeccable.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:53, Reply)

i was actually lolling too hard to click this

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:57, Reply)

If you can imagine me laughing and clapping from the first floor window
of the McDonalds opposite him, I suggest you do.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 15:01, Reply)

laughing gargling
first floor window drain outside
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 15:14, Reply)

My wife tells me
That when the queues get too long in nightclubs she often see women piss in the sinks. Now I know men are disgusting creatures but I have never seen this kind of behaviour.
( Peej, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:47, Reply)

I've been to lots of clubs but never seen women pissing in sinks.
Maybe I've not been going to the right clubs.
( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:49, Reply)

I've had the misfortune to be walking through the NCP on Welshback in Bristol and seeing a chav squatting between two cars having a piss. Vile bint.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:50, Reply)

If you will insist on picking your mum up from Yate's at teh end of the night

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:52, Reply)

I piss in your sink all the time

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:50, Reply)

I sink pints of his piss.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:52, Reply)

Oh! I know who you are now!

( Peej, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:56, Reply)

Peroni's not that bad

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:56, Reply)

my friend and i went on a rave boat with the ex on fri. we had two choices.
queue for an hour for the ladies, or crash the gents.

i found a nice dude to chaperone me so i could walk in with my hand over my eyes. all good. my friend was not so lucky.

"excuse me," the massive bloke shouted in her ear. "do you HAVE a fucking penis?"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:58, Reply)

And did she?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 14:59, Reply)

She should have shouted back, 'well it looks like you don't either'.

( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 15:00, Reply)

If a couple of blokes were chaperoned in to the ladies
they would find their heads being used to open the front doors and their face would meet pavement pretty quickly.
( Peej, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 15:00, Reply)

I'm used to gay clubs. In them you use whichever loo you want.
There's usually a few blokes in the wimmins, gossiping.
( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 15:01, Reply)

I was talking about real men
Not some feather duster wielding, friend of Dorothy, with no right to live on gods green earth.
( Peej, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 15:04, Reply)

Says the guy who rarely gets laid and then henpecked by his Mrs.

( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 15:12, Reply)

*flops wrist* GUILTY!

( Peej, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 15:35, Reply)