Evening nightshift
Stag do's Stag dont's, Hen nights Hen frights, what was good/bad about any you have attended.

Alt: Books that way outstrip the shitty film they based on it? (saying all of them is a cop out)

Alt Alt: It seems you can pay for manlove with Tea, what else could you use for currency and how?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:52, 239 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I try and avoid traditional stag do's like the plague.
I did go on one where we were riding quad bikes around through the day. The groom fell off and fractured his leg. That was fun.

Alt: I can't think of one at the moment. As a reverse, the film of Jaws is far superior to the book, though.

EDIT: actually, although technically a TV adaptation, ITV's misguided attempt at filming "Quite Ugly One Morning" was woeful, mainly because they cast James Fucking Nesbitt as a hard nosed, Scottish investigative reporter, for which he did his usual Irish accent, and changed the ending. The fucking flids.

Alt alt: cock gazzes, apparently.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:57, Reply)

Amstadam 1996 stag do
I only knew the groom, all they did for two days was smoke weed and got monged, I was the only married man there a group of canadian girls were well up for it, they just kept smoking weed, retard chavy bastards.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:00, Reply)

That really was a shit adaptation. Thank Christ they ruin anymore of his books.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:25, Reply)

It was a massive pile of cock.
I'd love to see a big screen version of One Fine Day, though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:43, Reply)

Once upon a time
an acquaintance had a stag party at his house. He said NO GIRLS! At the time that just equated to not me and my friend. About 1/2 an hour in they realised this (and the fact they'd forgotten the goblin masks for the 'goblin strippers'* and needed someone to bring them) and called us. Me and my friend dressed as boys and drank too much as we were pretending to have testosterone, goblin strippers were bad news *shudder* and the last I really recall is one guy trying to wedgie another guy who it turns out wasn't wearing pants. I witnessed this from behind a bucket I was vomiting in.

*goblin strippers, not sexy - some of the lads just put on the masks and terrifyingly pretended to be goblins doing lap dances. Thanks, Harts, I'd forgotten that.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:01, Reply)

I've got some mindbleach left over from the last thread if you want it?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:02, Reply)

please

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:09, Reply)

Hey Cav you still read books?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:12, Reply)

yes i do

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:13, Reply)

Have a look at this set.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otherland
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:14, Reply)

not read that
although it looks interesting
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:16, Reply)

I discoved them at a friends villa whilst on holiday.....
I enjoyed the first one so much that I tracked the rest down.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:17, Reply)

I'm going on a stag do this weekend
As you were.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:05, Reply)

How much is it costing?
I hope it's not too deer.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:06, Reply)

Oof.
I'd join in this thread, but I haven't got the hart.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:07, Reply)

He's gonna need plenty of bucks where he's going.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:08, Reply)

I bet its a good few Bucks

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:08, Reply)

mindpiss.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:08, Reply)

I would delete mine but i don't want to look like I'm fawning to you.

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:10, Reply)

I roe the day I ever got into pun threads.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:11, Reply)

Doh!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:12, Reply)

You're a little (be)hind

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:11, Reply)

bam(bi) another good one

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:13, Reply)

Very good.
This is a cheap and cheerful one. Few pints, Indian food and trying to find somewhere that is showing the boxing.

No events planned, so I hope to get some good sleep.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:09, Reply)

Sounds sensible.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:09, Reply)

Any theme to it Jeffer's?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:07, Reply)

Poodles and rotweillers.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:09, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHAA

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:11, Reply)

I'm sure I've said this before
but when I was working at the airport, we used to get loads of hen and stag parties coming through.

The men were almost always inventive with their themes - the best one I saw was a guy who came through dressed as a giant fox, followed ovet the next 30 minutes by about twenty lads in hunting tweeds looking for him.

The women usually wore skintight t-shirts (mostly accompanied by tutus) and slogans like 'Katie sucks cock' and 'Slaggy Susan' etc ad nauseam.

Drunk Welsh hen parties were the absolute worst customers EVER.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:10, Reply)

The office I currently work in is right next to a Jury's Inn.
Every Friday several bus loads spill their sorry plights of action seeking lads and lasses onto the concourse. An hour later they're all heading into town wearing their wacky clothes looking for a bit of last minute cock or fanny. Usually in the pissing rain.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:14, Reply)

Ugh.
I had a mix of ages for my hen night (definitely not a weekend). The youngest was 13 and the oldest was mid sixties, so we couldn't have done anything too rude anyway. I got a dance teacher to come round the pub and teach us a little routine to some girly pop stuff. Apart from displaying my huge lack of co-ordination, it was a great success.

Those big crowds of drunk predatory women are just embarrassing.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:19, Reply)

my friend organised a
party round her house with cocktails and inflatable parrots on the washing line. There were boys and girls so it was a hag party. There were also kazoos and three of us spent about an hour playing rock classics on them
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:22, Reply)

I've seen some good ideas for hen parties.
I like the ones where you learn some kind of skill. Cocktail making or cupcake decorating sound fun.
i also like the one where you can create your own bespoke perfume. If I had a spare couple of hundred, I'd love to buy the whole kit for that one.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:27, Reply)

My cousin did one where they made chocolate things
something like that, I didn't go
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:28, Reply)

There was a programme on just before Christmas "Home made Christmas" or something,
Where they did the perfume thing, my wife commented on how she would like to do that.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:29, Reply)

I did the perfume thing once
and according to someone I worked with on teh lancome counter at the airport, what I created was almost exactly the same as a perfume called 'Poeme'. I took this to mean I was a perfume genius.

The company I did it with sells a consultant kit for about £150. I was quite tempted, but it seems like a lot of money for a bit of a hobby.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:35, Reply)

£150 sounds a steal.
I just bought myself a bottle of Allure homme sport by Chanel That was £63 for 100ml
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:41, Reply)

Alt "I am legend" much better ending than the film.
EDIT: Plus I didn't have to look at Will "wingnut" Smith.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:24, Reply)

this

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:28, Reply)

I've heard that.
Have you read 'Cell' by Stephen King? It's the first one of his i enjoyed in years. A generic zombie type romp, but quite fun.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:32, Reply)

"The Stand" is my Fav King book.
I havn't bothered trying to read anything of his since "Gerards Game"
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:34, Reply)

gerald's Game was weird.
Especially that bit where it intersected with Dolores Claiborne.

The Stand is one book I can read over and over again. It's especially good to read on a hot summer afternoon when it's deathly quiet outside.

did you read the full version? I think it has some extra background scenes in it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:37, Reply)

Never finished Gerards Game I gave up on it.
The Stand I read was the special edition it had some wonderful ink drawings in it.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:41, Reply)

I'm currently struggling my way throughteh Dark Tower books.
I'm halfway through number five now. It's pretty slow going.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:48, Reply)

I thought they might be worth a read, but again I gave up.
I did pick up a copy of Sue Townsend's "AM and the weapons of mass destruction" at a car boot sale, I forgot how good Adrian Mole was
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:52, Reply)

Oh, I love adrian mole.
Like you, I always forget how good they are until I read the next one.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:04, Reply)

The DVD box set's out, apparently.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:11, Reply)

The original series from the 80's?
I remember it being brilliant when it was first shown, but it's best to leave it that way, I learnt my lesson by downloading some of "blakes 7"
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:15, Reply)

Yep, the very same.
Some old TV stuff still holds up well. Quatermass and the Pit being one example, the original 50's serial is fucking brilliantly done and one of my favourite things ever.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:15, Reply)

Why not watch the first ten minutes?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPaDlOsAsGs
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:17, Reply)

I dropped my friend off of a pool table by accident.
alt:Jaws
Altalt: It was yahoo
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:29, Reply)

"Thundercuntatalltimes"
I take what Rory says with a pinch of salt, one day he will emerge from the bridge he lives under and attend a bash.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:33, Reply)

I like Rory, he spins a wonderful yarn. He is part troll part jackanory king.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:37, Reply)

Agreed each person adds in there own way to b3ta, I morn the loss of anyone of the posters

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:45, Reply)

I add fuck all.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:53, Reply)

Stop being modest
scooterlolz
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:55, Reply)

What are you suggesting here?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:55, Reply)

Fishtail parker's and lots of mirrors

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:56, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lK00U2WiIT8
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:07, Reply)

Awwwwwwww man
I've so got to watch that film again.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:12, Reply)

You add puns and canine japes, what's not to love?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:13, Reply)

Doesn't seem like much.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:19, Reply)

You are a shining beacon in an otherwise tawdry pool of 'your mum' jokes and Monty's poverty, Jeff.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:20, Reply)

You, however, are a shining deacon

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:26, Reply)

I'LL GET MY FUCKING CARER ON TO YOU!
This post has taken 18 months to be translated and transcribe.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:28, Reply)

meeeeuuuurrrrghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:29, Reply)

*chases around studio in spacker chariot*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:30, Reply)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYeNuCTf_PE
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:38, Reply)

Best. Quote. Ever.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:39, Reply)

Agreed.
Pure genuis.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:41, Reply)

I love me some Gene genie.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:41, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5XnpK5Hzo0&feature=relmfu
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:42, Reply)

I'm currently working my way through the whole lot again.
For about the fifth time. Halfway through Ashes series one right now.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:44, Reply)

Seeing the conversation further down the board.....
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpiPEWDwK_Q&feature=related
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:46, Reply)

Ahahaha!
This was brilliant. The best scene ever though was the Camberwick Green / Trumpton pisstake.

"Oh dear. Is it Gene Hunt? Is he kicking in a nonce?"
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:48, Reply)

This one!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Djm6k-GGIBk
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:49, Reply)

Best shows in years.
I'm not overly sure about the end of the last series of Ashes to Ashes, though.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:51, Reply)

this was good as well
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OzPRv3IVZE&feature=fvwrel

I loved the end of Ashes; watching them all back you can see the signposts to it but at the time I didn't see it coming.

I'm going for a tab now.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:53, Reply)

I got the feeling they didn't decide on that denouement until they started writing the last series...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:54, Reply)

Had Mars gone to a 3rd series that's how it would have ended.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:07, Reply)

It's good enough for us.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:20, Reply)

alt: get tae fuck, the film's much better.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:14, Reply)

The film is amazing but so is the book, there's an affair

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:20, Reply)

Did he fuck teh shark?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:22, Reply)

BobTheSharkFucker

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:51, Reply)

The book's OK
but the whole mafia / mayor sub plot gets a bit turgid. Plus the shark fucking drowns, how shit is that?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:49, Reply)

Isn't that what happens to sharks when they stop swimming?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:53, Reply)

alright fuckfaces?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:50, Reply)

Eve's Plum

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 20:53, Reply)

Adam's apple

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:08, Reply)

Oh god, I completely forgot to tell you all
I was watching Eggheads earlier, and there was a question about Joey Deacon.

I was still laughing about it an hour later. I just kept shouting 'Joey Deacon!' and mr b3th was looking at me like I was mental.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:15, Reply)

What was the question?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:17, Reply)

It was something like
"Who wrote the autobiography 'I'm a fucking Deacon'* and became a minor celebrity in the 80s after appearing on Blue Peter?"

The team said it was Peter Duncan, which was pretty funny in itself.

*whatever the autobiography was called.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:19, Reply)

"Tongue Tied".

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:22, Reply)

It was called.
Tongue Tied. Fifty years of friendship in a subnormality hospital.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:22, Reply)

That sounds familiar.
I think Jeremy Vine is about the right age to have found it funny too.
I hope he did.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:26, Reply)

I've got Joey's grinning fizzog as a screensaver on my PC.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:17, Reply)

Liar.
You just set your webcam to take your photo.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:19, Reply)

You take that back!
Evening, Jeff.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:19, Reply)

Evening DG
All well in the North?

It's just pissed down here.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:20, Reply)

Blue sky appearing here.
Although it's pissed down for three days solid.

We have Blousie coming up at the weekend.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:21, Reply)

Everything's coming up Blousie

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:23, Reply)

Yay! Give her a hug from me.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:23, Reply)

Will do.
I think we may be taking her to MoatyWorld on Saturday as there's a music festival on there.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:24, Reply)

Will there be a special guest spot by Gazza who will do a rendition of Fog On The Tyne?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:25, Reply)

I fucking hope not.
Although we once met the drummer from the Macc Lads at a mate's gig in a pub in Rothbury a few years ago. Maybe he'll turn up and entertain us instead. Or kick in a poof.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:27, Reply)

hahaha
Didn't the Macc Lads get through a number of drummers?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:28, Reply)

A few, yeah. This one was Stez Stix mark one, I believe.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:29, Reply)

Poof hating violent one?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:31, Reply)

Yep.
He's mellowed quite a bit. His kids were there as well; they were absolutely fucking mortified when we started singing the old classics.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:32, Reply)

hahaha
Do you think your music festival will be on this weekend?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:34, Reply)

A lot's indoors, so probably.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:34, Reply)

How long is the Good Ship Blousie staying with you for?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:37, Reply)

Friday to Sunday.
Then she's back up for a long weekend at the start of August as some mate's have organised a music festival.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:38, Reply)

Nice almost as good as this one
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1669553
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:26, Reply)

You should have tossed your shoe at him

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:19, Reply)

*belms*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:20, Reply)

Alright b3th.
Any news?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:25, Reply)

Is there fuck.
That job I chased up - you know the one that said 'thanks for your interest, we'll be doing the shortlist next week - never sent a fucking dicky bird after that.

Now I'm back from my northern jolly, I'm going to arrange a trip to brizzle to talk to some agencies.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:28, Reply)

Well lerrus know when you are heading in and we'll meet up.
How was the 'north'?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:30, Reply)

I didn't realise you was in Bristol.
I had some fun times there, I mainly stopped in Brislington, Fishponds and had a few interesting times in St. Pauls
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:35, Reply)

Arr, I'm a Brizzle kiddie.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:36, Reply)

+ fiddler

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:39, Reply)

pfft.
He's lovely, is our Jeff.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:39, Reply)

*Offers b3th a Werther's*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:40, Reply)

pre-sucked?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:42, Reply)

You aren't THAT special.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:43, Reply)

My mum says I'm special.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:47, Reply)

+ needs

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:47, Reply)

*gazzes mods*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:51, Reply)

Here they are!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8E4znu82XhE&feature=related
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:52, Reply)

+on the roof

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:39, Reply)

The guys I was with sent me into St. Pauls to score for them, I could have bought an oxo Cube for all I knew about hash,
They only sent me because I had a don't fuck with me type attitude in them days, funny thing was the two dealers fighting each other to sell me the goods.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:40, Reply)

At least you didn't go to Easton.
That is really quite moody these days.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:43, Reply)

I remember the bristolian's being friendly.
One of the few cities where I've been to and like the people.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:47, Reply)

'Twas good.
Nice to see DJ and Roota again.
Just got to get back into the job hunting now.
I'll even let you take me to lunch if you like.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:41, Reply)

Depending on how I'm doing for time, I'll buy you lunch. Otherwise, I'll buy you dinner somewhere.
Post-work is usually more predictable than working hours.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:42, Reply)

Oh, and how is Roots?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:43, Reply)

Boss.
I think they've really settled in to life in Embra.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:46, Reply)

Has the cat adapted?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:47, Reply)

I think he's learned to accept his 'stepdad'.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:52, Reply)

Good. He probably needed a positive male role model.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:57, Reply)

Alt: 2010
good book, shit film with an almost totally different plot.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:47, Reply)

Not read that one.
But did read some of his early stuff when he predicted the internet, satalites, heart surgery, cyborgs and stuff, its amazing how much stuff he wrote about then is common place now.

Edit: His wikipage is quite good I like this quote, Journalists who enquired of Clarke whether he was gay were told, "No, merely mildly cheerful."
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:50, Reply)

BB3
Irish rap.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:06, Reply)

Is it any good?
I was debating it.
I hope they're showcasing Buffalo G.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:08, Reply)

I'm watchin back to the future RIGHT NOW
i don't think there was a book, but it is just as great as I remember it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:12, Reply)

I saw Michael J Fox in the garden centre the other day.
It took me a while to spot him though, he had his back to the fuchsias.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:14, Reply)

urgh
when I was a kid there was a whole load of fushias on the mantelpiece and my dad would stand in front of them, sniggering to himself and asking what film he was.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:16, Reply)

Err... STAR WARS!
(Am I right?)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:17, Reply)

So jeff is your dad, was your mum a poodle?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:18, Reply)

Lovin' the name change!
I'm the Lord Vader of OT.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:18, Reply)

Too good not to adopt

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:19, Reply)

Like me
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:19, Reply)

There was a novelisation.
I read it when I was at school. It was written by a famous fantasy writer with three names. i can't remember what he was called.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:17, Reply)

Mary, Mungo and Midge.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:18, Reply)

alan Dean something, maybe?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:18, Reply)

apparently I'm thinking of Craig Shaw Gardener
but he only wrote the novelisations of the second and third films, not the first one.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:21, Reply)

There was an Alan Dean Foster who was a fantasy writer

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:22, Reply)

see above

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:24, Reply)

Never read anything by him.
Am I missing out?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:27, Reply)

I wish there was a shark icon

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:13, Reply)

LOLZ

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:14, Reply)

We're going to need a bigger icon.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:25, Reply)

Bob and Quints do the morning commute.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bREcn8PFYk
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:26, Reply)

i painted my nails and put my ipod in my pocket on shuffle
as such can't reach into my pocket to change the track without getting polish everywhere. I'm listening to the Weather Girls :((((

WOW MY LIFE'S EXCITING
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:28, Reply)

STINGRAY!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:30, Reply)

FIDOSHAGGER!
How goes?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:32, Reply)

I can't sleep.
I should be in the land of nod by now.

:-(

Yous?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:33, Reply)

i'm staying up partly to make sure my nails dry
and also for Crowley to come home. Hope you drop off soon, I'm probably boring enough :D
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:35, Reply)

Bless you.
How are you and Crow? You've not been around for yonks.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:36, Reply)

We're both good
I had exams and then fell into a pit of despair, only to be spat out again into a job until I go back to uni. Crow also has a job and is generally very well. I'll send your regards to him.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:38, Reply)

Please do.
Hope to see you both in September.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:39, Reply)

For sure!
Go to bed, I am off myself, love you all xxx
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:40, Reply)

Evening
I've had a skinful. Tell me stuff.
Tell me why I shouldn't have another, or something.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:34, Reply)

something

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:35, Reply)

You should deffo have another.
*That'll confuse him*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:35, Reply)

*another* something

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:36, Reply)

more stuff
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:38, Reply)

I'm thinking maybe a glass of port?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:37, Reply)

Go to the 24 hour garage and a get a Crunchie.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:38, Reply)

Fuck that.
If I was going to do that, the sensible option would have been to do it on the way back from the pub.
How are you Jeff?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:40, Reply)

Tired.
Can't sleep.

*breaks down in tears*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:40, Reply)

The night is young.
You don't need to sleep yet.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:42, Reply)

Will the clown get you?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:43, Reply)

Don't mention clowns they some scary MoFO's

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:44, Reply)

He's totally going to get him
How are you b3th?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:44, Reply)

Monged out on codeine.
How are you?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:47, Reply)

"Monged" word of the thread

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:49, Reply)

Monged out on booze.
Codeine sounds like fun though.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:49, Reply)

It's lovely.
The endo that necessitated it, however...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:51, Reply)

Yeah, I'm sometimes envious of Gonz's ready access to opiates
And then I remember the pain he has to endure that necessitates them....
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:52, Reply)

Indeed.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:54, Reply)

and all that rich food which exacerbates it.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:54, Reply)

Low on the radio right now.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:02, Reply)

I'm chilling to Donald Byrd on the PC

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:03, Reply)

I only have his Slow Drag LP
Which is v good.
Apart from that, only the Jazzmatazz records from the mid-90s.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:06, Reply)

Jazz funk at its best
Dominoes is playing at the moment
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:07, Reply)

Donald Byrds "Places and Spaces" (1975), Blue Note
Is a must buy album, I trawl through shitty Sun. morning car boots looking for records
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:12, Reply)

speaking of which
I once made CQ look up his own insult. Coulrophobialols.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:48, Reply)

Something about clowns.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:50, Reply)

something about Wilf Lunn

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:59, Reply)

Something about 80 days

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:00, Reply)

That all depends Tangman
Have you got an early start?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:38, Reply)

I have a small baby and a six year old.
I always have an early start.
Edit: Also, Tangman?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:41, Reply)

Believe me it gets worse as they get older
EDIT: Orange guy from tango advert that slaps (Tangman)
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:42, Reply)

much, much worse.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:45, Reply)

Last Sat my son had friends over for a sleep over.
What fucking sleep?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:48, Reply)

you are John Bishop aicmfp

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:52, Reply)

I forgot that thing he did about that.
Comedy has to based on truth, 6 teenaged boys running down to the kitchen and up to the loft room every 5mins from 9.30pm to 10.15am is not that funny
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:55, Reply)

Look at this kitten
he is in a hamster ball

www.youtube.com/watch?v=go43XeW6Wg4

silly kitten
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:04, Reply)

Hamster wheel lolz

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:06, Reply)

this kitten is falling asleep
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiz80CuDN8Y
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:06, Reply)

I like the angry cat on you tube it's well lol

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:08, Reply)

link, man, link

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:08, Reply)

or I will link to foxes on a trampoline

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:09, Reply)

i think I might watch BTTF 2 now

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:13, Reply)

Great Scott!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:14, Reply)

Whats BTTF 2?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:15, Reply)

OMG!
3 years time is going to be awesome with those flying cars
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:25, Reply)

and the climate control

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:25, Reply)

and power laces

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:27, Reply)

Hover boards

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:28, Reply)

Am I too old for a hoverboard now?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:28, Reply)

Your never to old to hover board "I live for this shit"

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:29, Reply)

and bionic implants
in our brains
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:29, Reply)

I want the Exoskeleton suit with jetpacks

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:35, Reply)

BTTF2 penny just dropped

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:26, Reply)

I'm chilling to Jazz and can't be bothered with youtube ATM.
Will link another time, its that narly looking hissing cat from the shelter
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:13, Reply)

I went to my brothers at the weekend
Had a cracking chinese, played some football, and had a couple of nights out in Chester. Great weekend, but fucking hell it was expensive.

Alt: Twilight, for one.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:23, Reply)

You have read the twilight books?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:24, Reply)

Aye, read them a few years back
Went on holiday, didn't take enough books, ended up reading my friends as well.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:35, Reply)

Delete this before Rory gets hold of it?
Just saying
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:36, Reply)

It's already widely known around here
Tbh, they weren't as bad as you'd expect. The key difference between the books and the films is that in the books Edward is an irreverent fucker with a cheeky sense of humour, rather than a whiney little twat.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:38, Reply)

film nor book of twilight shall ever cross my doorstep

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:40, Reply)

I didn't have a choice when it came to the film, sadly.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:40, Reply)

I fall alseep when ever i go to the pictures
I've slept soundly through the avalanche scene in xXx
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:42, Reply)

Fortunately I didn't pay to see it
The last film I was made to go and see was Pirates of The Caribbean 3, that with a hideous hangover was torture.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:45, Reply)

I can't be arsed with the cinema anymore waste of time and money for me, I just fall asleep
Talking of which I'm off to bed Good night.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:47, Reply)