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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Favourite television copper or detective?
Alt, anything. I'm stuck on a call and I've read all the shite posted so far today.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:06, 174 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
Have a wank
everyone else on the call is doing. Guarantee it.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:10, Reply)
Morse was good.
Alt: I'm eating a white kit kat, I like it, I'm sure someone has an opinion on that.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:10, Reply)
Peter Kay probably has an opinion.
Or was that on white dog shit... either way, the kit kat is one of the most dull chocolate bars going.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:14, Reply)
IT'S A FUCKING BISCUIT
prick
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:15, Reply)
Bite each end off then suck coffee through it
Then scoff it right down. This can be done with all manner of chocolate bars and biscuits. Including, but not limited to, the Penguin.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:18, Reply)
I haven't had a penguin for ages.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:18, Reply)
Neither have I actually
TO THE PENGUIN STORE!
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:19, Reply)
That's why Rory's gone to Iceland

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:20, Reply)
I liked Reg from the bill

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:13, Reply)
This doesn't surprise me.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:18, Reply)
'Pisscan' Tosh

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:15, Reply)
Ahh, Tosh Lines
A proper copper
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:17, Reply)
Shit bill character fives

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:17, Reply)
Reg was shit, Tosh was a god amongst pgymies

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:21, Reply)
Fact.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:30, Reply)
Foyle.
Alt: Emus cannot walk backwards.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:17, Reply)
Fucking Batman

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:18, Reply)
Why has no one else said the goddamn Batman?
He's the world's greatest detective and a fucking ninja!! Come on people!!
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:32, Reply)
pc plum from ballamory
that guy was sharp as a fucking Tack
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:20, Reply)
Blu fucking Tac that is

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:20, Reply)
Did you ever see 'Me Too'?
It was like Balamory in the Big City. Weird shit.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:28, Reply)
with the harlequinned hospital gherkin and the weird guy with one boggle eye?
no
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:38, Reply)
Quite

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:43, Reply)
and the cleaner who worked at the bus station
but she was really enthusiastic about cleaning the busses?

never heard of it, sorry
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:44, Reply)
I quite liked her
You know...like like. Do you think she'd go out with me?
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:53, Reply)
i think she'd have gone out with a mop if it asked nicely

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:56, Reply)
BEEZER!

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:08, Reply)
Dalziel.
Alt: were you walking down my road the other night having a discussion about full beam on car headlights?
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:21, Reply)
No. Sorry.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:26, Reply)
I overheard a conversation on that topic
and with the accents involved I considered that one of them might be you. You missed some informative stuff.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:29, Reply)
You do realise
That other Bristolians have a Bristolian accent, it isn't just me.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:33, Reply)
Ah, but the combination of Bristolian and some notherner type narrowed it down a bit.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:35, Reply)
New Series of the Thick of It starts this saturday.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:29, Reply)
Poirot.
The Suchet years.
Alt: Studies* have demonstrated a higher than average propensity for quenderism among those with September birthdays.

*that I just made up
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:29, Reply)
Can you mod edit your own post to point out that "quenderism" is a stupid word that no one likes?

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:33, Reply)
I can mod yours to point out that you're 'well' 'bent', if you like?

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:35, Reply)
please do this

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:38, Reply)
Makepeace
Alt: 30 minutes till hometime!
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:29, Reply)
'Guv' from the The Sweeney

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:31, Reply)
I am really fucking depressed today.
It was my little girl's first day at school today and I'm not even allowed to talk to her let alone see her.

:o((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:32, Reply)
I vommited blood this morning.
That might cheer you up.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:33, Reply)
Nope, I'm even sadder now.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:33, Reply)
Some came out my nose :(

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:34, Reply)
Dude that is not right.
You might be like one of those mental chinkies who plays WoW for two weeks straight and then dies.

Don't die on me, Chompy - it's only a game!!!!!
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:35, Reply)
It's not a game to meeee!!!
I think it's just a bit of Gastroenteritis, I'll be alright in a few days.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:38, Reply)
+ so, put up a real good fight.
I'm gonna be snookering you tonight.

Big Break!
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:40, Reply)
ELLODERE MON

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:41, Reply)
brilliant, you're dying

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:39, Reply)
I just hope it's not a ulcer.
That would be gay.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:40, Reply)
One of my mates got one from boozing.
They are a) Scottish and b) female.

FUCKEN NAILS, MON.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:41, Reply)
it would be well lol if he got an ulcer from all that cheap homebrew

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:43, Reply)
It certainly would.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:44, Reply)
He'll just need to add a bit of Bonjela
To the brew.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:48, Reply)
That is another possibility that I may just be having a reaction to the live yeast in my homebrew.
Which would suck.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:44, Reply)
LOL

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:46, Reply)
I'd have to pasturize it somehow, and I have no idea how to do that.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:47, Reply)
heat

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:49, Reply)
Add some bleach

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:50, Reply)
"Pasteurise" basically means "boil the shit out of it."
Which incidentally is a good way of knackering the flavour.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:51, Reply)
I thought it was specifically flash heating and cooling
which is a great way to shatter bottles.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:52, Reply)
hold the bottles together with loo roll

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:54, Reply)
Thanks for your help TF!

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:57, Reply)
mnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeow!
and now i'm a aeroplane!
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:00, Reply)
And knacker the flavour.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:57, Reply)
*manly hugs*

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:33, Reply)
*gets inappropriate bone-on*

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:34, Reply)
*acts disgusted, and then stuffs piece of paper with my mobile number on it in your pocket*

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:35, Reply)
*subtly tips wink*

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:36, Reply)
*stands wink back up*

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:44, Reply)
*checks wink for damage*

*notices some surface abrasions*
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:46, Reply)
What the fuck is the bright idea behind that?

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:34, Reply)
I imagine it's because women can be both cruel and unusual
for no apparent reason other than to be deliberately cruel and unusual
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:36, Reply)
You're not wrong.
Bitches be trippin', yo.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:37, Reply)
STR8 UP FACTS RIGHT UP IN THIS PIECE.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:39, Reply)
and some men too, two hats
don't you go being a sexist now
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:39, Reply)
You're so PC, Quiz.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:43, Reply)
hey i won't hear a bad word said about anyone
i do hope psychochomp has stomach cancer though
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:47, Reply)
Oh absolutely
We're all as crazy as each other, just in different ways. As soon as the rest of the world realises this, men and women will start getting along a whole lot better.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:44, Reply)
Women are from Mars, men have a penis!!!!!!!!
LOL!!!!!!!!!!
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:44, Reply)
See? This guy gets it!

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:45, Reply)
It's something to do with utter fucking cunts, I think.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:36, Reply)
Is this a reaction to your court case?
I can imagine a lot of this behaviour for the near future...
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:38, Reply)
It's this fucking behaviour which has necessitated the court stuff.
She's not even had official notice of court yet. I have to draft my amended court order and then submit it before she gets notice.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:40, Reply)
I bet it's to stop him teaching her the "correct" way to talk to her class mates from other ethnic groups.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:39, Reply)
Mentions of 'the glorious Raj' and 'cotton picking' are STRICTLY VERBOTEN.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:42, Reply)
ITS COS HE'S BANNED FROM SCHOOLS, DIPSHITS

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:39, Reply)
OI!
You watch your moooouth mister.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:45, Reply)
sorry TH, it was only a jokes

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:48, Reply)
YOU are a character my friend

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:51, Reply)
nah i meant he really
he is a very aggressive paedophile after all
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:53, Reply)
It's true!

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:57, Reply)
WTF is that mental woman up to now Monters?
Have you tried booting her in the foof?
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:39, Reply)
It's the only language they understand

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:41, Reply)
Nothing would give me greater pleasure*


*quite a few things would, in truth
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:42, Reply)
Seeley Booth, if that counts.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:35, Reply)
McNulty

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:41, Reply)
I prefer the black one.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:42, Reply)
Bunk? Lester? Daniels? Carver?
I had to google them. I only said McNulty cos I couldn't remember a single name of any of the others.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:44, Reply)
Lester, he's the smart cool one.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:46, Reply)
And he ends up pulling the hotty.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:48, Reply)
I do like a bit of Gene Hunt sprinkled on my detecting

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:42, Reply)
Oh gosh, of course.
Love me a bit of Gene Genie.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:45, Reply)
Frank Drebin

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:46, Reply)
Commandant Lassard

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:48, Reply)
A friend of mine sent me a link
to a site that sells "I survived the Blue Oyster" t-shirts.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:52, Reply)
Ah, not the same one
But I like it:
www.zazzle.com/blue_oyster_t_shirt-235180173075546519
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:52, Reply)
I've seen a great 'Running Man' 'clap if you love Dynamo' shirt.
I really do love Dynamo.

*claps*
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:54, Reply)
Oh excellent
I did see one with the logo of the company that makes Running Man.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:56, Reply)
ICS, that's it

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:57, Reply)

www.lastexittonowhere.com/shop/product/ics-network-television-regular-fit/
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:57, Reply)
Nice, quite subtle

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:59, Reply)
I probably shouldn't admit to this, but I have a Duke & Duke Commodity Brokers one.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:00, Reply)
Man I fucking adore that film.
Dan Akroyd is fucking genius in it.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:01, Reply)
Something we both love, who'd have thought that was ever going to happen?

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:02, Reply)
We both love booze, that's another one.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:04, Reply)
Ha.
Sadly she fell out of love with me though.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:05, Reply)
I always get excited when they show up in Coming to America
Not that I watch Coming to America all that often...but still.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:03, Reply)
'would you really have a negro run our firm?'

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:04, Reply)
That's the badger

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:59, Reply)
Deputy Dog

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:48, Reply)
Droopy

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:52, Reply)
the guy with the bad french accent from allo allo who went 'gud moaning'

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:55, Reply)
Kroney?

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:03, Reply)
Raggy from Rooby Roo. He's kind of a detective, right?

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:56, Reply)
naked ape
...ohhohoh, wait sorry deTective not deFective
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:57, Reply)
I GET THIS JOKE!!!!!

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:59, Reply)
Ken Boon

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:00, Reply)
that bloke in Eldorado

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:01, Reply)
Marcus Tandy?
of Buunneh?
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:02, Reply)
some spanish plod, Tandy used to always get the better of him

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:07, Reply)
That's our Tandy for you!

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:09, Reply)
In other news. My wife went to the spacker games today with a mate and children.
Apparently the three year old, loudly, in front of a load of 'athletes' said "mummy why hasn't that man got any arms?".

Gutted I missed that.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:02, Reply)
My daughter helpfully pointed out that the Asian woman in the shop had a red dot on her forehead.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:03, Reply)
You should have scratched it off.
You might have won a car.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:11, Reply)
Ha ha.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:12, Reply)
Sarah Lund or Batman
alt: Cardiff is much better than newport. About to have a few White Russians.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:07, Reply)
...then a drink

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:08, Reply)

You filthy orc botherer.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:10, Reply)
Quincy
It's not too bad here, is it? *looks around*
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:11, Reply)
hi new person

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:16, Reply)

WILKOMMEN
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:17, Reply)
YOUR REAL NAME IS JAMES
I KNOW SOMEONE CALLED JAMES, WE SHOULD BE FRIENDS
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:18, Reply)
Well that's pretty rude

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:22, Reply)
I'm starting to go off this James chap.
Seems a bit rude, to me.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:33, Reply)
He'll never live down nominating Quincy, what with him being a Medical Examiner and NOT a detective
what a thick cunt
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:36, Reply)
FFS what a FUCKING PRICK

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:43, Reply)
Sorry! It was past my bedtime!
I'm eight hours ahead of blighty at the moment.

And you're right about Quincy, but I heard he moonlights for the LAPD.
(, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 0:50, Reply)
tuesday afternoon we usually discuss our latest graphic novel ideas

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:20, Reply)
My idea is like a cross between Batman and Lord of the Rings
I can't wait until tomorrow, seriously
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:21, Reply)
my idea for spiderbat-man will totes blow everyone away
it's about a bat bitten by a radioactive spider and then shoved up some blokes arse. I don't want to give too much away at this stage
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:24, Reply)
That sounds pretty awesome
Squeeze some elves and shit in there, and it could be the best thing ever probably
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:25, Reply)
nah, needs more vampires

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:29, Reply)
Busty vampires?

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:31, Reply)
for the gentlemen, yes
but don't forget something for ladies, after all Manga is not what it was.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:38, Reply)
You're not going to believe how COOL mine is this week.
Basically 'A Vagabond' goes around the place in a spasticated hat, being all dark and moody, and it's constantly raining and shit? Oh man, it's so damned, damned dark.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:29, Reply)
You should totes do it in that scribbly style like off of Sin City

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:30, Reply)
Oh I TOTES will.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:32, Reply)

.___________.  ______   .___________. _______     _______. __  
| | / __ \ | || ____| / || |
`---| |----`| | | | `---| |----`| |__ | (----`| |
| | | | | | | | | __| \ \ | |
| | | `--' | | | | |____.----) | |__|
|__| \______/ |__| |_______|_______/ (__)

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:36, Reply)
Please tell me my online presence makes you generally angry in real life.
Please.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 18:13, Reply)
Monkfish

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:47, Reply)
Deputy Dog
I have been in the office all day, and now I want to stab someone. No wonder you lot are all so miserable, if I had to spend five days a week sat at the desk dealing with the sort of morons that I have today, I'd go full retard and murder everyone.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:52, Reply)
tomorrow our place gets filled with about 1 billion
lost, confused and/or stupid 16 year olds. It's been so nice and quiet without them. I fully intend to go postal by about 2pm tomorrow
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 17:56, Reply)
Oh god,
The second and third years will be moving in to their houses this week. Freshers week is only 2 weeks away. Carnage will ensue.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 18:09, Reply)
I don't know why you say goodbye I say Hello.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 19:07, Reply)
prick.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 19:46, Reply)

I SAY HUZZAH
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 19:53, Reply)
Wanker.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 20:34, Reply)
I say 'please catch bum AIDS and die you utterly unlikeable prick'.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 20:38, Reply)
You may.
Repeatedly.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 20:49, Reply)
I hope he has to resit his GCSEs in a free school.
Not as in state school.

BOARDINGSCHOOLOLSROFFLE!!!!
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 20:52, Reply)
And why would I need to do that?
And a free school is not Independent of the state, merely the council.
You're the public schoolboy here mate.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 20:54, Reply)
You tell me.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 21:00, Reply)
I know what a free school is, you tit.
I was punning on 'free' as in 'free of charge', as in 'non-fee paying'.

Also, 'free' as in outside LEA and curriculum. And a massive bag of nonsense.
(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 21:23, Reply)
Too much justification to a cunt. Don't bother.

(, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 21:46, Reply)

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