There was some paralympian chap on the radio this morning.
Moaning because he had only won a gold silver* medal and that the last four years of his life were now shit and pointless.
Should the moaning cunt be grateful for what he achieved or is he right to be unhappy?
Is there no such thing as second place for you? Are you driven to always win?
How do you cope with success or failure?

Alt: Post some funny stuff, you cunts.

*Soz, sporto this was so dull I wasn't really paying attention.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:37, 89 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I read this as 'Hi! I'm a vegetarian WOMAD prick. Please hit me as hard as you can, in the face'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:38, Reply)

I read this as 'I think everyone here is well aware of how well I am dealing with my failings'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:43, Reply)

Hahahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:47, Reply)

I am eating Nerds right now.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:40, Reply)

Ne tu
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:41, Reply)

Grid damn I love them

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:53, Reply)

So he is only the best in the world at what he does?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:43, Reply)

Shit
*hasty edit*
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:44, Reply)

Better

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:59, Reply)

They're ALL winners.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:44, Reply)

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:46, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1723810
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:47, Reply)

Moaty. Alwayz in R harts.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:47, Reply)

I would like to go in a rowing boat with him so I can sing over and over, for hours straight.
"Moaty in a boaty" "moaty in a boaty" "moaty in a boaty"
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:52, Reply)

Would you let him touch your scrotey?
Because your medication was making you feel floaty?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:54, Reply)

have you been double-dipping your opiates again, chap?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:02, Reply)

I'm not entirely sure that singing an annoying ditty at a homicidal maniac in a confined space would be dreadfully clever viz-a-viz your long term health

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:33, Reply)

Someone has made some Moaty grafitti next to our work
I'll try and get a pic at lunchtime
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:00, Reply)

Please do.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:05, Reply)

It isn't very good

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:29, Reply)

Is it better than this thread?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:33, Reply)

Well durr

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:36, Reply)

Second place is first loser
He should kill himself, crippled and shit at his sport, what's he got to live for?
( Peej, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:47, Reply)

I agree. He should just die.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:48, Reply)

agree. He
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:49, Reply)

Could be worse
he could have bollocksed up his start been disqualified and then thrown a right fucking strop in the velodrome.

Swings and paedophiles, tangles. Swings and paedophiles.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:49, Reply)

This is a reference to something that I know nothing about.
I only know about this disabled fellow because the editors of the Today programme, after a summer full of tedious nonsense, STILL think that talking about sport is considered newsworthy.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:57, Reply)

ah, right you are
one of our para cyclists, Jody Cundy, was disqualified from some cycling in circles event. He's the best in the world and the disqualification was a little "dubious" and he threw the most epic strop on live telly. Very f-bomb heavy.

It was hugely entertaining.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:59, Reply)

Provoking paralympians to anger sounds like it could be a sport in itself.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:06, Reply)

I think this is going rather well.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:04, Reply)

Or he could have been this guy
m.guardian.co.uk/sport/2012/aug/31/paralympic-weightlifer-barred-previous-conviction?cat=sport&type=article
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:06, Reply)

It's not gungnam style but she is one filthy bitch.
www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=i3Jv9fNPjgk&feature=endscreen

I WRECK YOU CUNT.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:13, Reply)

Have you seen/heard the gungnam style / white boys dance mashup
Even more disturbing.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:16, Reply)

how dare you! WOOP WOOP WOOP FUCK OFF TLIC

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:17, Reply)

come on mmps, I'm using "disturbing" as a term of endearment
in much the same way I refer to you as "disturbed". When I'm taking your mum up the dirtpipe.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:21, Reply)

my mum'd fucking break you white boy.
I heart gungnam style so damn much I might have a cry.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:25, Reply)

It that not the big eared thing from Star Wars?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:28, Reply)

Look, the Paralympics are over.
We don't have to listen to them anymore.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:32, Reply)

Alt: Not my own work
but someone posted on FB last night that it was a bit cruel to have Coldplay singing "Para, Para, Paralysed" at the crowd of disableds.

That made me chuckle.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:32, Reply)

I guess it is funnier if you know some Coldplay songs?
There's one about something being yellow. I know that one.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:34, Reply)

Yeah they could get away with that last night
in the knowledge that however insulted the Chinese might have been, even Coldplay can outrun people with no legs.

The song in question is actually called "Paradise". Duh.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:35, Reply)

Is jaundice a Diasability?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:37, Reply)

Spelling is

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:38, Reply)

Shirley,
"misspelling is"?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:43, Reply)

Tori is disabled?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:44, Reply)

Her face is

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:44, Reply)

I was disappointed they didn't finish with "Fix You"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:47, Reply)

I heard newcastle is going to be twinned with Las Vegas
Apparently they are th only cities in the world where you can pay for sex with chips
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:33, Reply)

Damn right!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:36, Reply)

This was well received just now in work

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:40, Reply)

Was from Milton Jones who I saw on Saturday, I did many lols for just £10

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:42, Reply)

I did your mum for less than that.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:43, Reply)

I did your mum for Half a greggs steak slice

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Good deal, that.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:49, Reply)

She eats all the other halves, yeah?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:49, Reply)

Steak BAKE you fucking upper-class moron

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:49, Reply)

He's just like Osborne when he goes in to Greggs
fucking rabbit in the headlights. Would you have any Chateau Lafayette with that boeuf en croute avec un coulis superb?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:51, Reply)

His Greggs has oak flooring too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:51, Reply)

Scotland has changed you man

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:53, Reply)

He's fatter, more ginger and about to die of a heart attack

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:54, Reply)

I'd have to have hair to be ginger, sporters.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:54, Reply)

ssssshhhh. I'm just fitting in. If they find out about my wine cellar the heathen teuchter cunts will cut me.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:54, Reply)

Ive never had one tbh

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:51, Reply)

My shock-horror-o-meter has just exploded

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:52, Reply)

A nose walks into a bar
The barman says "I can't serve you, you're off your face"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:36, Reply)

I have some links to Stan Boardman and Jimmy Tarbuck, if you fancy a chortle.
They're funny.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:40, Reply)

Jeeeeeeeermans

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:50, Reply)

And Fokkers.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:50, Reply)

It's hard to say what my wife does for a living
She sells seashells on the seashore...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:41, Reply)

What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can't milk a cow for 10 straight years.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:50, Reply)

I should know
I've tried
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:50, Reply)

badum-tish.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:51, Reply)

Militant femists, I take my hat off to them
They don't like that
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:52, Reply)

Dear Deidre
My neighbour has an 18 year old daughter who is very well blessed. If you know what I mean. She was in the garden sunbathing topless at the weekend and I found my self at my bedroom window relaxing like only a gentleman can.

I noticed out of the corner of my eye that my partner was standing behind me, staring at me with her arms folded.

Is she a pervert?

Yours, Stunned.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:53, Reply)

lols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:53, Reply)

I think we can get a Deirdre's photo casebook out of this one.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:56, Reply)

You want a picture ot Stunned approaching the vinegars?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:57, Reply)

I haven't got a picture of that.
But I do have several short pieces of video.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:58, Reply)

Look of concentration, a bit like a gurning chimp, tongue slightly poking out of one corner of your mouth, eyes slightly crossed?
seen em.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:00, Reply)

EXACTLY like a gurning chimp.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:02, Reply)

You want to see stunned in a bra and thong?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:57, Reply)

I refer the honourable gentleman to the response I made some moments ago.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:59, Reply)

Who doesn't?
He's a hottie.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:59, Reply)

Dear Deidrie
I have a problem that I think it will be impossible for you to crowbar a bint in underwear into the 3-frame photoshot storyboard of. Am I wasting my fucking time with you?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 11:56, Reply)

Of course not

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:15, Reply)

I can't read the text, tangles .. :(

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:33, Reply)

Yeah, the original picture was massive, so I made it smaller.
Let's just pretend that it was well lol.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:41, Reply)

Dear Deidre
I've already murdered 4 women in the town where I live, and I have a totally uncontrollable urge to kill again.
My mechanic gave me a quote for some work on my car and I'm worried because it seems a little high. How can I know whether or not to trust him?

Love, TH x
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:11, Reply)

We watched Shame last night with Michael bloody Fassbender in it.
It's all art and shit, but happily features a lot of topless women and shagging.

He wanks a lot in it, though, sadly, but Mrs V was very pleased about this.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:12, Reply)