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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Here's an end of day thread as that one was created one degree above still born
I am growing a beard, I'm not sure whether I'll keep it though as it might get too itchy. Tell me you facial/body hair stories.

alt: fuck off?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:31, 172 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
I got that when I grew my first ever beard.
I've trimmed it right the way back down to stubble now, though. Got bored.

Yeah, this thread's going to be miles better!
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:32, Reply)
Fuck you frenchy

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:34, Reply)
i'm not even going to reply in this thread

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:37, Reply)
I'm regretting replying now.
I feel ashamed. Dirty and ashamed.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:38, Reply)
That'll be the beard

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:42, Reply)
too late

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:40, Reply)
Stopping shaving was a masterstroke.
My skin is like that of a pallid Victorian child, so not scraping blades over it every day was definitely the way forward.

I am unable to grow anything beyond a goatee though which is something of a shame. No ZZ Top action for Monty.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:38, Reply)
Could you not pull your head hair forward and stcik it to you face?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:39, Reply)
Technically yes.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:40, Reply)
When I grew a beard at the age of 24, it was ginger.
I thought it displayed my viking heritage, but in reality it looked like a load of ginger pubes.

My 'tache is now grey, with a hint of blonde, and is now 2 years old.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:40, Reply)
it's a wonderful age, is it reading yet?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:40, Reply)
Its barely house trained.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:41, Reply)
right, i'll be honest here
i sgrew a beard a few months back, i looked well cool. i shaved it off for an important meeting and didn't like that my face felt like play doh so i've grown it back and that was less than two weeks ago

what of it?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:42, Reply)
I think he's bragging or something.
Or this is some kind of online cottaging.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:42, Reply)
I think he's updating the little pictures of us that he has in his /OT shrine in his loft.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:45, Reply)
You is well a man and everything.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:43, Reply)
i don't know, it's itchier than the first time
and it felt like it was taking ages to grow back and then it was like 'foom!' and hairy
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:44, Reply)
I just look sleazy.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:44, Reply)
i think i look older, and more harsh
i come across as more aggressive now, people treat me different
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:46, Reply)
True enough.
What's that got to do with the question though?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:46, Reply)
I like the way he's implying that it's a beard that makes him look sleazy.
Apparently there aren't any mirrors at chez Stunned.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:54, Reply)
Fucking mallets.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:42, Reply)
Hahahahah

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:43, Reply)
I have a moustache,
I tried a different stly of moustache, i didn't like it, so i went back to the original moustache desgin. That is all.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:44, Reply)
It doesn't really lend itself to epic tales and hilarity, this question, does it?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:45, Reply)
It might have done...

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:46, Reply)
Why are there so many songs about rainbows?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:45, Reply)
They are a highly relatable subject.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:46, Reply)
Thing about that is, there aren't.
As a percentage of the total number of songs ever written, they must be a fraction of one per cent.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:47, Reply)
And ACTUALLY Superman could never ACTUALLY fly ACTUALLY.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:48, Reply)
Sometimes i wonder why we're friends.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:52, Reply)
ACTUALLY there isn't a film called 'SUPERMAN ONE' so HA!

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:53, Reply)
dude,
calm.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:01, Reply)
course he could, i saw it in a film

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:53, Reply)
I saw your mum fit an entire baby pig in her vagina in a film

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:55, Reply)
that film is the italian citizen kane

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:56, Reply)
BUNGA BUNGA OOOIIIIINK!

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:57, Reply)
theme from rainbow
over the rainbow
november rainbow
theme from 'rainbow: first blood'
rainbow come and we wanna go home

there's loads
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:49, Reply)
Here's one
"Up above the streets and houses
Rainbow climbing high
Everyone can see it smiling over the sky
Paint the whole world with a rainbow"
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:50, Reply)
purple rain-bow
i'm a rainbowing man
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:51, Reply)
That red and yellow and pink and green one
clearly written by someone with pink/orange colourblindness.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:52, Reply)
paint a rainbow
sing a rainbow
she's a rainbow
rainbow in the dark
double rainbow song
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:53, Reply)
You won't make it to 20.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:55, Reply)
i'm 36!

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:58, Reply)
no wait, 34?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:58, Reply)
35?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:58, Reply)
oh HO!!!

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:58, Reply)
Type 2 Diabetes will finish him off way before then

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:58, Reply)
I should have just asked this as my main question

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:52, Reply)
I've had a beard for most of my adult life
I shaved it off for a holiday about 10 years ago as I didn't have a beard in my passport photo and didn't want any trouble. Then I grew it back and renewed my passport with a bearded picture.

So now I can't shave it off if I want to go away again.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:44, Reply)
when did you renew it?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:46, Reply)
Mmmm... 2006

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:51, Reply)
is it a fancy biometric doodad?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:52, Reply)
Nope
Are you suggesting I just glue a beardless picture over the top of it?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:53, Reply)
did you miss?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:54, Reply)
no, you belly-wobble,
If it's biometric it won't matter if you shave your beard off.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:57, Reply)
Oh, well it isn't, so...

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:59, Reply)
You do realise that you can shave or grow facila hair and not have to renew your passport?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:52, Reply)
he needs his for noncing though

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:53, Reply)
I wished to avoid any delays at passport control
in case I got an arsy borderguard. Plus it seemed like it would be amusing.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:54, Reply)
I had a beard and glasses when I went on holiday in August.
I don't have either in my passport.

I was held up for ten minutes whilst they tried to decide whether I was the guy in the photo or not.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:56, Reply)
^^This

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:58, Reply)
Did they have to play a round of "Guess Who" to determine your identity?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:58, Reply)
"Is he a motherfucker?"

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:59, Reply)
"did he immediately surrender to your authority?"

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:00, Reply)
"Does he have the pallid complexion of someone who lives in a damp basement?"

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:01, Reply)
"Is he wearing a stripy t-shirt?"

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:02, Reply)
"Has he built a defenesive wall of suitcases that can easily be circumnavigated by entering him through the Netherlands and Belgium?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:03, Reply)
I can top this
When I first went to the US, the chap handed me my passport (pic from when I was 16) saying, 'this is a lady's passport sir'
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:59, Reply)
Mmmmmmmbop
Were you in poptastic family fun group Hanson as a child?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:01, Reply)
I was the fourth, secret member

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:02, Reply)
Yeah, because you were dark haired, bearded
and a good ten years older than the rest. It'd have looked like three wholesome American teens and their creepy paedo uncle.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:04, Reply)
Ted Danson, Steve Gutenberg and Tom Selleck’szzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:07, Reply)
I was 27 when my first passport expired.
In the preceding ten years, my face had changed almost unrecognisably. In the latter two years I did a lot of travelling to Canada to see the ex. Sometimes via the US.

The amount of bag searches that passport generated was fucking embarrassing.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:01, Reply)
I don't have a beard.





yet.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:48, Reply)
women beards and hairy face moles freak me right out

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:49, Reply)
Wait till I'm 50, then I'll come roud and freak you out with my massive old lady beard.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:51, Reply)
"ladybeard" sounds a bit rude

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:51, Reply)
I saw your mums ladybeard last night, it had a family of possums living in it and I think they were smoking crack and makng racist comments

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:53, Reply)
This is entirely possible if possums live underground in graveyards
and can talk and take drugs.

Are you sure it was the possums that were smoking crack?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:55, Reply)
They might have been racoons

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:56, Reply)
that sounds more likely
they have those little hands.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:57, Reply)
opossumopossumopossumraCOOOOONNNNN!!!!!!

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:58, Reply)
'special needs' sounds a bit rude.
; )
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:54, Reply)
I didn't really say that
I just said "Yes", and they said "Oh."
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:57, Reply)
I gonna have nightmares now :(

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:52, Reply)
Some days I miss the handlebar...
but not when I don't have to waste time combing it before work, or when I kiss a girl and don't get a mouthful of my face-pubes.

it did look good, but I mdon't think I'm going back.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:03, Reply)
Do you not look like Philleas Fogg anymore?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:14, Reply)
not even as much as I ever did
which wasn't much. short red mohawk, trimmed goatee and moustasch
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:22, Reply)
He has a Passport Too I heard

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:23, Reply)
10/10

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:29, Reply)
Wotcha Monts.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:30, Reply)
Yo, bro.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:32, Reply)
You still at work?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:34, Reply)
nice one
Can someone help me with film/cleaning product puns?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:31, Reply)
Thats a Negative from me

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:32, Reply)
nice try but I meant film as in movies

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:35, Reply)
:(
BULLY
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:37, Reply)
nah, this is an important work thing

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:40, Reply)
REELy?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:42, Reply)
OK
How many videographers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. What do you think the gain is for?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:48, Reply)
*dances like nobody is watching*

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:17, Reply)
Nobody IS watching.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:38, Reply)
Or reading

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:39, Reply)
I'm as smooth as a babies bottom
Apart from the hairy bits that is. HTH
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:22, Reply)
just once my lady waxer got the wax stuck somewhere neither of us wanted it to be
i could tell she was panicking, and eventually i was left with what can only be described as a werewolf bite.

i never went to that salon, ever ever again.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:26, Reply)
*Drinks mind bleech*

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:27, Reply)
until you've had hot wax stuck to the most delicate part of your body
with a panicking sweating elderly asian lady tugging at it in vain for about an hour, you don't know what mind bleach is for
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:29, Reply)
you say that like you've never paid for such things.....

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:30, Reply)
she had the nerve to say "i will only charge you for the leg wax"

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:32, Reply)
I trust you had her horsewhipped.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:38, Reply)
Arrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Please make her stop, My delicate mind can't handle the images
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:31, Reply)
imagine a vampire shark bite

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:32, Reply)
No stop please
That’s just cruel and unnecessary
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:33, Reply)
I don't get it.
I am way too innocent for this sort of talk.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:47, Reply)
are you saying
you want pictures?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:48, Reply)
Words and Pictures

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:49, Reply)
End of the day. All gone home!

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:54, Reply)
Not fair I've got here

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:55, Reply)
They are like that, this lot.
Cunts.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:56, Reply)
Sorry to disagree
But cunts have a use TRUFAX
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:57, Reply)
still here for four minutes

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:56, Reply)
79 days 56 Mins and counting LOLZ
Wotcha CQ
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:57, Reply)
See u Sat?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 17:57, Reply)
doubt it, I am both skint and have other stuff to do
vaguely possible though
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:00, Reply)
Cool.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:01, Reply)
NO ONE EVAH INVITES ME

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:02, Reply)
*invites*

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:02, Reply)
Stop being nice
Can Barry be my plus 1?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:06, Reply)
alright wankaz?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:00, Reply)
Plum me old
Did you sort that floor out?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:01, Reply)
Was it an oak floor?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:02, Reply)
Victorian mosaic tile.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:03, Reply)
Quarry Tiles

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:04, Reply)
not quarry tiles

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:04, Reply)
Yes Quarry Tiles

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:05, Reply)
Better than Oak floors
I'll let PD tell you
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:03, Reply)
kind of
But stripping wallpaper at the mo.

Got Brodinski playing proper 303 techno on the stereo right now.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:02, Reply)
Feck that don't strip to motion you'll have no plaster left

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:05, Reply)
Not home yet.
You nob.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:08, Reply)
Luther vandross
A house is not a home
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:10, Reply)
I can grow a beard scarily quickly
This is good as I hate shaving
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:07, Reply)
Dredlock Holiday

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:08, Reply)
I don't like cricket

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:11, Reply)
OHHHHH NOOOOO?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:11, Reply)
I love it
I don't really
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:12, Reply)
Vegimite sammich is the answer

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:13, Reply)
bleugh!

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:14, Reply)
In the Navy
Twas the best sammich EVAH
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:14, Reply)
Village People lesser knownzzzz

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:17, Reply)
you got it, at least

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:18, Reply)
Y-M-DYAAKY

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:19, Reply)
YMDA
YMDA, Young man
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:20, Reply)
I love vegimite

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:19, Reply)
Do you hate cricket?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:21, Reply)
Its okay

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:22, Reply)
AHHHH ARRRRRR

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:23, Reply)
I think Monty should get Captain Cavy to crochet him a pair of slippers
specifically these slippers: www.etsy.com/listing/108449743/pattern-for-tiger-1-tank-panzer?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:19, Reply)
LIC, sorry I ment to gaz you back mate

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:21, Reply)
BUT YOU DIDNT DID YOU
THREE HOURS I WAITED IN THAT RESTAURANT CLUTCHING A BOUQUET OF WILTING ROSES
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:24, Reply)

A BOUQUET OF WILTING ROSES MY WEEPING COCK
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:25, Reply)
I felt sore from the meeting we had.
Cheap skate only wan'ts me dry 8(
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:27, Reply)
lube up with your own spunk before hand next time

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:27, Reply)
EWWWWWW
Typical Cavy spoils the romance
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:28, Reply)
Excellent for goosestepping into Poland.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:22, Reply)
Its wonderful for those drafts in the lebbensrelm

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:23, Reply)
I would buy those with actual money

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:23, Reply)
hahaha
that is quite a crochet pattern
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:23, Reply)
I think I might go to the pub later.
More news as it happens.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:24, Reply)
HAPPY BELATED B-DAY YOU OLD FART

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:25, Reply)
Thanks very much.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:43, Reply)
YW but new thread

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 18:43, Reply)

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