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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Yeah whatEVER.
These are a pretty smart invention:
www.thinkaboutkids.com/musical-instruments/electronic-piano-gloves-with-speaker.html

What else is a smart invention? What's a shit and pointless invention?

Alt: what have you got coming up that you are looking forward to. The kindhearted generosity of my family and friends means that I have two gigs coming up which I couldn't afford to go to otherwise. That's nice isn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:28, 129 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
each glove has eight notes, I guess they are targetting the rural kids

in a couple of weeks I get to sleep in a caravan and look around a giant garden centre in cornwall
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:30, Reply)
Norwich rural

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Complete the following popular phrase:
THATS ___ _____
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:32, Reply)
the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:34, Reply)
Livin' Alright?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:34, Reply)
NOT MINE

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:35, Reply)
NOT TRUE

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:36, Reply)
FUCKING SHIT

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:36, Reply)
THATS: TWO HATS

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:37, Reply)
AGREED

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:56, Reply)
THATS 'has an apostrophe'?

(quintsy, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:40, Reply)
My Boy, starring Mollie Sugden.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:42, Reply)
ENTER TAINMENT

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:43, Reply)
The only suggestions I came up with
were "Fucking Shit" and "Enter-Tainment".
What's going on here, SC?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:57, Reply)
Perhaps you are not well?
Are you quite well?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:59, Reply)
I'm 'quite' well
In as much as that I'm not in crippling pain.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:02, Reply)
Well that's good to hear.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:07, Reply)
It's the best I can hope for

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:15, Reply)
I know not
Some kind of mind meld, perhaps?

I fear for your sanity
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:03, Reply)
Perhaps
This should be explored. I'll keep an eye out for further cross-overs. I urge you to do likewise.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:04, Reply)
Rather tight.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:44, Reply)
Should pronouce the 'Th' as a 'F'

(quintsy, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:46, Reply)
WhatI CallMusic

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:54, Reply)
A SPICY MEATABALLA

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:54, Reply)
Everyone always targets the rural kids
RIP APRIL X X X X X X
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:32, Reply)
high 6's

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:32, Reply)
Are they, Monty? Are they really?
They look pretty shit and pointless to me.

Alt: Death.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:32, Reply)
Sorry, I meant something about the kids or something.
Death
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:33, Reply)
NONCE

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:36, Reply)
You* could headphone them up and practice the piano on the way to school or whatever.
Good for kids who can't afford a piano too, at £25.


*not YOU, a child
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:33, Reply)
Could you though?
I suspect that the reality will be disappointing.
Also, my kid HAS got a piano.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:36, Reply)
And they can practice this piano on, say, a bus???
WELL CAN THEY???????????

I PUT IT TO YOU THAT THEY CANNOT.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:37, Reply)
...

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:38, Reply)
The reality will be being beaten up and having said piano gloves shoved up your arse by the local school bully

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:37, Reply)
Unless the school bully has them
and plays 'chopsticks' on your face whilst beating you up.

Now THAT is the best use of them. Musical fighting.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:40, Reply)
Fast as lightning

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:49, Reply)
*something about keyboard runs*

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:41, Reply)
Ugly little tramp,
that eats poo.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:33, Reply)
That's me!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:34, Reply)
Oh YOU!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:49, Reply)
That trick never fails to amuse me.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:52, Reply)
i got something similar but with drumsticks for my nephew's christmas a couple of years back
it was good for 5 minutes
(quintsy, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:39, Reply)
You buy good presents.
Would you be my uncle? Mine are shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:41, Reply)
Christ, Monters
If you want bumming, just ask
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:43, Reply)
Bad to have a bad uncle
www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUIuixJLpbc
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:46, Reply)
you're too old for noncing
so, no
(quintsy, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:46, Reply)
I've got quite a young face!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:47, Reply)
from what i've seen you look like a glaswegian immigrant

(quintsy, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:48, Reply)
That's a bit strong, Q.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:49, Reply)
This is clever.
www.impactlab.net/2009/12/20/revolutionary-technology-color-changing-contacts-to-alert-diabetics/
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:44, Reply)
Clever if you could see your own eyes.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:55, Reply)
I think the point is it'll tint your vision.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:55, Reply)
This would be entertaining when driving
"Look, the lights are on green"
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:58, Reply)
Also not very alarming when you're already on the brink of a hypoglycemic coma,

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:59, Reply)
Fucks sake
IT WOULD BE GREEN IF IT WAS OK YOU MONG!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:01, Reply)
stuff an ting

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:47, Reply)
ugh
alt: gay
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:49, Reply)
Alt: so you have 'gay' coming up and you're looking forward to it?
GAY ALERT!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:52, Reply)
DAMN YOU, HOLMES

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:53, Reply)
why did this make me laugh?
just how childish am i?

this is a rhetorical question, kroney.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:08, Reply)
Noted.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:10, Reply)
the wheel was pretty good, in its day
people who bother to write into magazines with their shit inventions, like "i wanted a photo frame but i couldn't afford one, so i stuck my pictures all over the window, and now i have a beautiful and not at all shit looking house."
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:51, Reply)
I like the Kirsty Allsopp style home decoration shows
"Instead of buying photo frames, why not use CD jewel cases instead? Put them all over your walls and it'll look like you have a shit collection of music by ugly, fat people."
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:55, Reply)
i have never seen it
but we all know you just watch it for the tits
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:07, Reply)
Obviously.
I'd bang her like a barn door in a gale.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:09, Reply)
i smell virgin
is it you?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:12, Reply)
Yes, it absolutely is.
I'm pure, virginal and innocent.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:13, Reply)
hey, you're not 25 any more.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:15, Reply)
These are clever
electronics.howstuffworks.com/gadgets/travel/virtual-laser-keyboards.htm

e.g. for dentists/doctors etc where a normal keyboard is a haven for bugs, etc.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:51, Reply)
i'm not sure i like that.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:55, Reply)
I've used one, it's weird because you don't get the feedback.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:56, Reply)
Yeah, would think so, but you'd get used to it eventually
It's similar to typing on a touch-screen phone/Ipad etc I guess.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:01, Reply)
i always turn on the thing where it vibrates slightlyor each key press,
don't like the lack of feedback.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:10, Reply)
That's what your mum said...

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:39, Reply)
Invented by Jean Michel Jarre, I expect.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:55, Reply)
I was going to say, I'm sure Jean Michel Jarre was using something similar decades ago.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:57, Reply)
You were going to say that, were you?
PROVE IT.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:58, Reply)
I'll send you a link to my blog
I always post my thoughts there, before posting them here.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:59, Reply)
Please do*



*n't
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:06, Reply)
He's just RAMPLING now.
Hahahahaha!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:08, Reply)
I don't get this, soz.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:12, Reply)
Do you know what's fucking stupid? My fucking alarm, I have it random, and I hit snooze, and it had some stupid birds and cow thing which wasn't annoying enough so I slept in and I only just got up.
I'm looking forward fireworks night, I love a bit of that.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:59, Reply)
I'd use this every day
www.hammacher.com/product/default.aspx?sku=82893
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:00, Reply)
I'm sure cheaper spit-roasts are available.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:02, Reply)
That is great

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:02, Reply)
I've always wondered what that would be like.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:03, Reply)
A bit like fried chicken, at a guess.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:07, Reply)
someone ruined my wikipedia entry for Quincy
it wasn't even inaccurate or offensive, i hate wikipedia
(quintsy, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:05, Reply)
Humourless CUNTS.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:06, Reply)
your face is inaccurate and offensive

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:08, Reply)
as is your diet

(quintsy, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:09, Reply)
actually the other day something happened to my neck
i hurt it or something, can't even remember

but i didn't want to bring it up here in case you bullied me again :(
(quintsy, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:10, Reply)
how can you hurt what you don't have?
it's like me hurting my dragon
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:11, Reply)
you leave your 'dragon' alone you filthy harlot!

(quintsy, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:12, Reply)
i would like a dragon actually
no more tube in the morning, no traffic lights, just majestically sweeping over the proles and occasionally searing someone who looks like a cunt (ie cyclists) with a jet of flames
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:13, Reply)
christ you're a dull shitcunt prick

(quintsy, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:13, Reply)
not as dull as your imaginary girlfriend

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:24, Reply)
my imgainary girlfriend went to Ikea on saturday
she doesn't half buy any old useless shit
(quintsy, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:38, Reply)
Oh man, what did they do? :(

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:10, Reply)
it's just gone, Kronely
it's just gone
(quintsy, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Just like everyone I've ever loved :(

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:11, Reply)
oh, kronely
:'(
(quintsy, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:11, Reply)
This is my favorite edit that I've done to wikipedia which got deleted
"....The programme is set in a fictional [ citation needed ] suburb of Chester called Hollyoaks and is centred around a local further education college called Hollyoaks Community College, with the characters generally being in their late teens or early twenties. Si....."
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:16, Reply)
because chester is a real place?

(quintsy, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:18, Reply)
because you cannot 'centre around' anything, as by its very definition the centre of something is in the centre?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:20, Reply)
You can 'centre around' a theme,
but in this instance I think 'centred in' would have been more appropriate.
/dictionarycorner
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:27, Reply)
They're actually going to start looking for Dyson Spheres.
www.theregister.co.uk/2012/10/05/dyson_sphere_search_wins_funding/ just imagine if they find one.

Oh and radio 4's book of the week is on Maps this week Monty, have fun with that.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:09, Reply)
Thanks a lot.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:11, Reply)
this is a great use of money.
look for made up shit, in space.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:17, Reply)
What a waste of time
Say Mumps, I want you to go under the sea and try to find evidence of a fish with the claws of a crab and the face of Terry Wogan. WHEN you find it, I'll give you a cajillion pounds. Deal?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:19, Reply)
I'm going to fund an expedition to see if bears wear duffle coats in deepest darkest peru.
interested?
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:21, Reply)
AM I???
By that I mean, Yes.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:23, Reply)
meet me at the docks upon the hour!
WE SAIL FOR LIMA!
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:25, Reply)
YOU CAN BE STEVE COOGAN AND I'LL BE JACKIE CHAN
Oh man, this is shaping up to be quite the adventure!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:34, Reply)
BEST DAY EVA!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:36, Reply)
Thank God there's loads of money around these days!
Otherwise that might be seen as a criminal misuse of it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:21, Reply)
Some guy goes "yeah how about if you like built a planet around a STAR!"
when he's clearly off his tits on e and some prick wants to prove this shit?
fucking hell.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:23, Reply)
It's a logical way of increasing energy production when you've limited the amount you can make on a planet.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:35, Reply)
you terrible troll.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:36, Reply)
Bollocks, this basically means taking some photos and getting a few academics to work on it.
If they don't find anything they'll still have a bunch of data about the universe that we didn't have before.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:34, Reply)
LOAD. OF. WANK

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:35, Reply)
Pure research is always worth investing in.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:36, Reply)
STOP TROLLING ME YOU CUNT

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:37, Reply)
This is ridiculous. Give me the money, I already know that they exist.
I've got one on my fucking vacuum.

Money-leeching scientist cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:43, Reply)
I think we should club together and get Monty one of these:
www.reghardware.com/2008/11/06/darth_toaster/

knowing how 'into film' and 'Sci-Fi' he is.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:19, Reply)
I don't.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:21, Reply)
You'd love it, you slag

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:23, Reply)
I think he prefers Star Trek
He seems more knowledgeable on it, at least.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:40, Reply)
Morning all. I has an hangovered, so please don't shout.
I am going to an opening of a typography exhibition this week which sounds incredibly exciting. And a multimedia showcase and archiving event on Saturday, which sounds even more exciting. I may go to the pub at 6ish, which probably will be the highlight of today.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:43, Reply)

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