Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I'm off to London for the day.I'm hoping that I encounter swipe and do whatever it is that visitors to London do that irritates her so much.
How would you like to annoy a b3tan today?
Alt: In the absence of anotherwanker we're missing someone to be rude to b3th and generally goad other users. Can you fill in for him?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 8:27,
167 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
*runs crying to the mods*(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 8:30,
Reply)
Simply wander about looking lost while trying to read a map under your ponchoAlt: Monty is like well old and poor and probably impotent
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 8:32,
Reply)
I guess you're only as old as the woman you feel(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 8:37,
Reply)
Alt; no I fucking can't you shitbag.Also, I wish to annoy you all by telling you how today was so hot I went to the beach.
(, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 8:41, Reply)
Yeah well I had a shit this morning on an INDOOR toiletAnd wasn't even once bitten by a spider
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 8:44,
Reply)
Battered is going to love this.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 8:44,
Reply)
I hope to run into someone obviously not from London and shove them brusquely out of the way when they stand on the wrong side of the escalator.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 8:50,
Reply)
Can all London b3tans please punch anyone they see today who looks like Nicholas Lyndhurst in desperate need of a hearty meat pie, as that means that by law of averages Tango here is gonna get a richly deserved slap today.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 8:55,
Reply)
this is an excellent plan.If I were in London, I would participate in this.
(, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 8:57, Reply)
you need to 1 - come from somewhere shit
2 - think you are cool and know it all because you know london "really really well"
3 - talk very loudly about all the good places you know and how many friends you have here
4 - clog up the streets trying to find them
5 - refuse to fuck off and die
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 8:56,
Reply)
Sounds like our Tangers to a tee!Esp points one and five.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 8:57,
Reply)
Morning tangles.I find the best way to annoy Londoners is to stop suddenly in the middle of the pavement to take a photo of an insignificant building, then turning sharply and catching one of them in the boob with the corner of you bag.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 8:57,
Reply)
Alright, young master Windeuxe?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:01,
Reply)
Pretty good thanks Montepulciano.Had a busy fucking day yesterday, yummy mummy half term pram pushing alcoholics. You'd have fucking loved it.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:23,
Reply)
Be careful out there...www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/tube-rage-man-beaten-for-walking-on-wrong-side-of-stairs-8227975.html
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 8:57,
Reply)
London is horribleFACT
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:02,
Reply)
Just because London is rather low on Orc-ridden mystical forests doesn't mean it's horrible.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:03,
Reply)
Are those orcs on there?I thought they were randy gay MPs.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:14,
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Are those orcs on there?I thought they were black people.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:15,
Reply)
Are those Orcs?i thought it was kids with downs.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:21,
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I know, it's awful having all these shops and restaurants and theatres.All this business and industry and money.
I don't know how we cope.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:10,
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you guys are so defensive of the placelike the parents of an ugly child "but she's beautiful on the inside"
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:12,
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No where else in the country has restaurants or theatres. Outside London, we all live in mud huts and eat raw meat that we take from passing goats. We also fuck the goats. And our sisters/brothers.
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Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:30,
Reply)
What I hate most about itare the world's finest art treasures all available for free. That's so shit - I'd much rather pay £8.95 to get into the Abergavenny Shoe Museum myself, but one can only dream...
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:16,
Reply)
art galleries and museums arefree all round the country, dear
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:19,
Reply)
So I can go the Abergavenny Shoe Museum for free?Great news! No more tedious hours trudging round the mediocrities on display at the British Museum, the National Gallery and the British Library for me!!!
This has made my day - SHOE MUSEUM HERE I COME!!!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:21,
Reply)
I suppose she has a point actually.I mean, we don't have the Gavin & Stacey Tour here.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:23,
Reply)
Yeah, but all the good stuff is here...When I visit the provinces I do like seeing the pencil sketches of bowls of fruit drawn by miners shaky with pleurisy, mind you.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:21,
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you went to the wrong one, then(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:23,
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The wrong province?Or the wrong 'give the working class a paintbrush' museum?
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:24,
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Elgin Marbles? 'Schmelgin Schmarbles', I say!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:23,
Reply)
Yeah, the Louvre, the Smithsonian and the Uffizi have naught but shite in them these days.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:29,
Reply)
Some of Wales's most popular attractions listed right here.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:32,
Reply)
I'm not defending WalesJesus, Monty, I'm all for playing devil's advocate in online debates but even I can't defend that.
I was merely suggesting that London doesn't quite have "all the good stuff"
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
We have the Ashmolean,Oldest museum in the UK and largest collection of something or other. I never really paid attention to be honest.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:33,
Reply)
You also have the Pitt Rivers museum which is one of my all time favourite places in Britain.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:35,
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Did you see the tall mouse?I fucking love that mouse. Come visit you scrotumfaced prune.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 10:02,
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I'm not sure they are even in the same country that we are talking about.I mean, I'm no geography professor, so I may be wrong.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:34,
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what's country got to do with "London has all the good stuff" ? you never said "in the UK"incidentally, if you're going down that line of defence, Wales is a different country and all. Just.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:37,
Reply)
I'd go back to the point where Cavy said 'Free all round the country, my dear'and follow the conversation from there as a starting point.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:39,
Reply)
OK, National Museum of Scotland. MOMI in Bradford. The Kelvingrove. The Lowry.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:43,
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Yeah, all shit.Lowry is the definitive 'give the working class a paintbrush' museum.
And shove it next to the Cadbury's Outlet shop while we're at it, so the fat northerners can munch their grubby way around while sheltering from the polluted industrial rain.
OK, I am being a cunt for the sake of being a cunt now. I actually quite like The Lowry. I mean, it's small and has 6 pictures in it, but they are good ones...
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:45,
Reply)
Are you channelling Monty again, dear?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:47,
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I channelled him til he couldn't walk straight.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:49,
Reply)
*drops monocle*(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:52,
Reply)
They aren't available for free though, are they?they are available for the financially destructive price of "living in London"
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:26,
Reply)
YES!Wait...I mean 'No! That doesn't even make sense'.
They are free. You walk up, you don't pay, and you look at stuff.
And you don't even have to live in London to do it. Even durty foreigns can come in.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:28,
Reply)
I'm dead against it personally,but I am pretty sure they do allow non-London residents into these places as well, you know. I am *certain* I saw a tourist at the Tate once.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:28,
Reply)
That would be my point.Why would anyone want to live there when the only redeeming features are equally accessable to tourists?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:32,
Reply)
If that was your point, you made it appallingly.In fact, it seems to me that it's an entirely different point you are now making and you are just trying to bluff your way through it by saying that it was what you meant all along.
it's OK, i won't tell anyone.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:33,
Reply)
not at allI may have misunderstood exactly what you were defending. I was under the impression you were defending London as a place to live, and my point didn't change at all.
If you're merely defending London as a place to visit, no problem.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:39,
Reply)
No it wasn't. Your point was that 'they aren't available for free though'That is an entirely different point. A wrong point.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:34,
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It's scaring me how on the same page you and I are for once.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:34,
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What's annoying me is that you are making MY points BEFORE me.Stop it.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:35,
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You beat me to the 'they aren't in Wales' one.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:36,
Reply)
I was under the impression you were using the fact that art galleries are freeas a defence of London as a place to live.
If you weren't, my mistake.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:35,
Reply)
I can see the Rosetta Stone within 20 minutes of walking out of my front doorand it is for this reason as well as thousands of others which make high living costs and grubbiness more than worthwhile to me.
I just think it's a bit rich to write off one of the world's greatest cities as 'horrible' when you live in Bogshite, Gwent, and the only cultural activity for hundreds of miles is 'drinking Ice White in a bus shelter' or 'molesting sheep'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:48,
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Oh, absolutely. Just as it's extraordinarily ignorant to write off a place you've never even seenas "bogshite" just because you happen to be one of the several million people who are geographically located inside the M25.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
You've no idea at all about how much of Wales I've seen.That's 'extraordinarily ignorant', if you ask me. I've visited the majority of the castles of Wales, a large number of the towns as well as much of the coastline from Pembrokeshire to Anglesey. My mother was born in Swansea where her father was Professor. I've also been to a number of festivals in the middle of nowhere there and find the place to be beautiful and extremely pleasant.
Which is why I'm not the prick posting 'Wales is horrible. Fact' like some kind of backward, ill-informed dunce.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:57,
Reply)
Right, so you have been to where Cavy livesand you know it's shite, then? in which case, my apologies.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 10:01,
Reply)
can we all just cuddle now?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 10:20,
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Now now, I don't really like London, bit too busy and noisy, but it is still a great city.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:31,
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i didn't realize he'd gone but it's for the best He was shitting up the place
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:09,
Reply)
he was better than you, he was better than all of usAW 4EVERNMYART
(, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:12, Reply)
I'm so evil, I just actually lolled when on the telly they were introducing an item coming up later saying "We spoke to Greg Wallice and the sexual abuse he suffered as a child".I don't know why I find it funny.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:14,
Reply)
Rob fingers Greg Wallace(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:48,
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I do hope there's no 'sex tape' of that(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:17,
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If you only watch one Masterchef presenter being abused as a boy on video this year.....(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:22,
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"Sex tape"..... Duct tape with added rape.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:49,
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I'm on FIRE tonight.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:50,
Reply)
Someone should photoshop that.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:50,
Reply)
Quicker and simpler just to set him alight, surely?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 10:20,
Reply)
CHILD ABUSE DOESN'T GET FUNNIER THAN THIS(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:18,
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It really doesn't(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:50,
Reply)
BUTTERY BISCUIT ABUSE.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:27,
Reply)
Woh', wha' ?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:50,
Reply)
I has a cold.i may come down to that shithole called London, and infect you all. Then again, I may not, it's all a part of that wacky world called Bear Pookie,
(, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:26, Reply)
So new York is under waterThe movies were right!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:27,
Reply)
how many dead?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:29,
Reply)
13 across the whole of fuckin America from what I heard on t'wireless this morning.Less than get shot in LA in your average day.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:30,
Reply)
I'll go with your one then!our reports were all only seen in the morning.
(, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:32, Reply)
why don't they use the fat ones as sandbags?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:38,
Reply)
fat is a non polar substance and doesn't mix with water, so it won't soak anything up.(, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:42, Reply)
build them up high enough and it'll form a barrier.GOD do I need to think of everything?
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:44,
Reply)
Sand doesn't soak things up eitherit just acts as a barrier
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Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:45,
Reply)
wait, i didn't reallyread this.Where is AW?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:28,
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what did he do?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:32,
Reply)
fair play.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:35,
Reply)
shit on her chest. she likes that.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
I'm going to go out on a politically dangerous limb to say that I don't live in London, but I do like it.I've taken the doubly risky step of putting this in a new sub-thread to draw attention to this bold statement. I fully expect a lynching mob of provincial hunchbacks turning up at my office with pitchforks and flaming brands.
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Kroney, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:37,
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I quite liked that london.the only problem was trying to talk to them. they all sound like wankers.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:39,
Reply)
See, you, I like.Actually, I have no problem with people who prefer not to live in, near or even visit London.
But it's the dismissiveness that gets to me. If you don't like it, that's fine by me, but it doesn't make it 'shit'.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:50,
Reply)
neither do Iand I don't think London is shit in the slightest, although there isn't enough money in the world to persuade me to move back there - but I have a massive problem with anyone who dismisses the entire rest of the UK as "shit" because they happen to live in London.
Which was the counterpoint being played up there.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:55,
Reply)
Oh I know, I was playing devil's advocate as much as you were.The Lake District is just about my favourite place in the world. I thnk Manchester is a great City, Northumbria is gorgeous and even Wales is OK, I suppose...
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 10:09,
Reply)
What's particularly interesting is that people get so aggressively defensiveof where they live, as if a criticism of their town is a direct slight on them and their choices. When most people live where they do entirely through some combination of chance and circumstance and wouldn't bat an eyelid over moving if circumstances forced it. It's very odd.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 10:15,
Reply)
For some weird reasonLondon annoys me when I'm there on my own, because it's full of people dawdling along in my way. But if I go there with anybody else, it's fine. I think being in a group must turn me into a dawdler.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:56,
Reply)
I lived there for nearly a yearand it sucked out my soul
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:23,
Reply)
Alt: you know, just for once, it would be lovely if I wasn't mercilessly bullied and viciously abused. It's bringing back some traumatic memories of being back at school.
In other news, morning tossnuggets.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:45,
Reply)
were you a fat dull cunt at school too?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:46,
Reply)
you can't wedgie Scotsmenno pants, you see.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:48,
Reply)
LONDONERS HAVE A SURPLUS OF PANTS(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
soft southern pants, though.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:52,
Reply)
you need rough cotton for a proper wedgie, Monts.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 10:02,
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nope. your sig still looks fucking stupid.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:53,
Reply)
the mods all agree.you are a prick.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 10:01,
Reply)
is she going to run off and tell the bigger mods.you know, the ones that actually have access to mod powers.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:48,
Reply)
that must have been difficult for you.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:50,
Reply)
So, you're the one who's going to take over from rory then?(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:54,
Reply)
this place has turned into talk A board full of hatred and "bullies" which try to be funny by using playground taunts "you're fat LAWL"
it's pathetic
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 9:59,
Reply)
fingers crossed?you sicken me.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 10:03,
Reply)
its 6amI have no idea, I haven't been outside, plus it's mega dark so I'm staying in until I know for sure there are no sharks
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 10:05,
Reply)
no it's fine, kristine can insult people as much as she likes.it's not bullying. that's "banter"
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 10:15,
Reply)
she bullied battered off the site ages agothis was before he even started writing wank porn about windy pig or whoever the fuck it was
(, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 10:16, Reply)
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