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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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New thread time.
Any suggestions?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:12, 142 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
kill yourself

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:13, Reply)
How?
Hanging, pills and vodka, slashed wrists toilet paper. The options are many.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:19, Reply)
Train
Sure it's tough on the driver and delays people's journey home from work, but it's efficient and decisive - it's no lame cry for help.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:21, Reply)
I need a villain with a top hat to tie me to the rails.
And a moustache.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:24, Reply)
*calls Wilf*

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:25, Reply)
Oh man that would have me in pieces
and by me I mean him
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:24, Reply)
how are you planning to use bog roll to kill yourself?
inhale it?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:23, Reply)
asbestos bog roll, scratchy, carcinagenic but effective.

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:24, Reply)
Apparently packing your throat and mouth with it.
It swells up and chokes you. According to telly series "Bad Girls" anyway.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:25, Reply)
He's going to keep wiping his ringpiece until it haemorrhages so much blood he dies of blood loss.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:26, Reply)
That could work.
www.flickr.com/photos/harald-haefker/7951310318/
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:28, Reply)
Nice.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:32, Reply)
Toilet paper??
How does one manage suicide with a roll of Andrex?
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:36, Reply)
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1780476

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Kroney, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:37, Reply)
Yeah I just looked back
Multi tasking with work :(
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:46, Reply)
Nope.
Mine don't go well.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Kroney, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:13, Reply)
What is boiling your piss today?
RANT THREAD!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:14, Reply)
the price of free sat recorders

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:14, Reply)
The campfire kettle
/beargrylls
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:15, Reply)
He's just brought out one of those self help books.
It's right up there with my Christmas wishlist, along with Pippa Middleton's party plan one.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:22, Reply)

party plan one shitbox
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:30, Reply)
tyres's

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:14, Reply)
shut up, Nakers.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Kroney, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:18, Reply)
No, that was funny.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:18, Reply)
shut up, Tangles

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Kroney, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:20, Reply)
no, you shut up KROOOOOONEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:20, Reply)
Well this is awkward
I appear to be on the same side as Nakers here...
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:22, Reply)
I'd delete the posts if I were you.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:24, Reply)
No one comes out of this looking good.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:36, Reply)
Someone else start one?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:17, Reply)
I'd go for this.
I think sheds has been done already.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:19, Reply)
Colleagues you'd like to punch & why.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:19, Reply)
A 'suggestions' thread?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:20, Reply)
So I just downloaded this "app" Curiosity.
It's kinda stupid, but also addictive... I don't really get it.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:21, Reply)
Curious.
Tell us more. I've never actually downloaded an app.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:26, Reply)
It's a "game" but they call it an experiment.
There's a massive cube made of many billions of smaller cubes, you zoom in and tap the little cubes and you chip away a layer. Everyone with the app can do this at the same time. The person who gets the very final layer and only them can see what's inside and apparently it's "life changing" but who knows what that means.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:28, Reply)
Sounds shit

(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:29, Reply)
You can write words like "willy" on the layers.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:31, Reply)
HAHAHA1
OMG It sounds amazing!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:32, Reply)
What is it?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:28, Reply)
Sounds like a way to keep an idiot occupied
www.pocket-lint.com/news/48331/curiosity-whats-inside-cube-review
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:33, Reply)
do a Derrick Bird

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:28, Reply)
ha, starbucks are getting star-fucked.
www.guardian.co.uk/politics/blog/2012/nov/12/starbucks-tax-avoidance-controversy-live-blog

I DID A PUN
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:39, Reply)
will they end up paying the tax that they "owe"
if not, then it's fairly pointless
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:50, Reply)
It's all just dick swinging by the MPs though
they'll make the witnesses look like fucking twats for ten minutes, but it won't make a blind bit fo difference because the government wouldn't dare to do anything that might actually result in these companies paying taxes.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:50, Reply)
THree questioners in and the starbucks man looks like a fucking lying twat.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:54, Reply)
I just ordered a whole bunch of DVDs off Amazon
I don't care that they don't pay tax, they sell me cheap shiny things.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:51, Reply)
I hate Amazon
Their postal costs can be fucking stupid
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:52, Reply)
I never pay postal costs
haven't you seen the "5 day super saver" option? If you don't mind waiting a week it doesn't cost any postage.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:52, Reply)
Often they turn up next day anyway

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Kroney, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:56, Reply)
Quite
Also, if you're buying second hand, zoverstocks have always been really good.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:57, Reply)
Yes, but Play would deliver for free quicker

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:57, Reply)
No they don't

(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:58, Reply)
If you live in Jersey maybe.
Which you don't.


In case you were wondering.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:10, Reply)
Lucky you told him this before he completed the purchase of his new house.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:19, Reply)
I am so helpful, sometimes I amaze myself.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:30, Reply)
Fuck off?
Like Al I couldn't give a fig about Amazon's tax affairs.

They have sold me this (not for me, you understand):
www.amazon.co.uk/The-Sagas-Noggin-Oliver-Postgate/dp/1903708222/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352736539&sr=8-1

I am well pleased. That's t'nipper's Xmas sorted.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:10, Reply)
You should buy her this
www.amazon.co.uk/Box-Canvas-Print-Paul-Ross/dp/B001N6W8U0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352736710&sr=8-1
(Legless is a prick., Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:12, Reply)
But she got that for her birthday

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:15, Reply)
I didn't know they were books,
I just remember the telly series.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:14, Reply)
That's because you are Northern.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:15, Reply)
Yes, the telly was made of Black Pudding.
Anyhoos, I thought you were Jockanese?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:16, Reply)
Only by ancestry. In West Philadephia born and raised, me.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:23, Reply)
I thought you sounded black.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:25, Reply)
Gosh yes. Motorhead once did a song about how black I am.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:28, Reply)
Oversemen?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:32, Reply)
That's the one!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:34, Reply)
I want the complete Mr Men books box set.
but I want it really cheap.

The mrs found the little miss box set for about 15 quid or something.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:14, Reply)
Little Miss = fake

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:15, Reply)
Your face = fake

(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:17, Reply)
One of Kylie Minogue's knockers = fake

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:21, Reply)
You should be able to pick it up fairly cheaply from one of those annoying companies like The Book People or Red House

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:17, Reply)
I think she got the Little Miss set from the Book People

(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:19, Reply)
You should fuck off.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:33, Reply)
You might get someone's old family collection on ebay.
I'd let you have mine - HAD MY LESBIAN WHORE OF A MOTHER NOT GIVEN THEM AWAY TO SOME OTHER CUNT SEVERAL YEARS AGO.

I got Len all the TV episodes on DVD for about £20. Not the same, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:32, Reply)
Lol your mum.
She's a card.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:37, Reply)
It's pronounced 'cunt'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:38, Reply)
Ah.
That's not nice.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:38, Reply)
Tell me about it.
The whole fuckin lot - every Mr Men book going...just handed to some flid without any thought for her own progeny's future breeding potential. Cunt, I tell ya.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:42, Reply)
I meant calling her a cunt.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:43, Reply)
I assumed you meant that
and thus posted the above in a misguided and ultimate pointless attempt at 'humour'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:46, Reply)
Ah humour.
I remember thAT.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:51, Reply)
I meant it too.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:46, Reply)
You could fuck off to /talk with your shit questions.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:36, Reply)
Bloody hell
The Israelis have fired on Syria after some Mortar Rounds landed in the Golan Heights.

I think Syria might be properly fucked if Israel decide to wade in.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:39, Reply)
^ Unnecessary Capitalisation Here.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:41, Reply)
Thankfully Mitt Romney isn't a position to wade in and make it worse.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:44, Reply)
His "do" is mortar proof.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:45, Reply)
He's like the b3th of American politics.
In terms of powers, anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:46, Reply)
As in, he has none?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:46, Reply)
TTJ

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:47, Reply)
SMC

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:47, Reply)
In your dreams

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:47, Reply)
KMA

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:48, Reply)
I can't tell it apart from your face.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:48, Reply)
SP

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:48, Reply)
What, he turns up really fucking late, if at all,
despite having a moral duty to moderate the actions of others?

Does he really?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:47, Reply)
I've been BUSY!
I do have other things to worry about than looking after you flids, you know.

So, did I miss anything fun?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:48, Reply)
No

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:50, Reply)
Dunno
Haven't been on here most of today.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:59, Reply)
Liddlebiddadoubleseat.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:46, Reply)
He flopped his cock on Syria and was SORTED.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:47, Reply)
That's what Assad wants more than anything.
"THE ZIONISTS ARE INVADING ALL MUSLIMS SHOULD COME HELP ME" he'll cry.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:49, Reply)
That's the other problem though
Sunnis, Shias or others?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:51, Reply)
If you want to get all muslims to help you, get a jew to shoot at you.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:53, Reply)
Ha, amazon guy is doing even worse than Starbucks guy did

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:51, Reply)
Amazon will be ordered to provide a new witness because this one can't answer the questions.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:52, Reply)
They'll send the new one in a week or two, and if there's no-one there to receive him, they'll leave him behind the bins.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:55, Reply)
SATIRE

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:58, Reply)
Oh man, I should have my own TV show.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 12 Nov 2012, 17:00, Reply)
You could do a late afternoon chat show
you should call it "breakfast"
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 17:06, Reply)
Speaking of 'Breakfast'
did you see Bill Turnbull interviewing Girls Aloud this morning? It was like Frost/Nixon all over again.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 12 Nov 2012, 17:13, Reply)
I did not, I'll try to catch up with it when I have some alone time later.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 17:15, Reply)
Where are you getting your updates from?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:56, Reply)

politics live on the bbc when I can have my headphones in, and this feed on my phone mobile.twitter.com/RichardJMurphy
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:57, Reply)
Beer o clock.
Fuck
right
off
.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 16:56, Reply)

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