fucking lunch pricks
What do you want for Christmas boys and "girls"?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:15, 148 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I'll just have girls.
You can keep the boys.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:17, Reply)

+ in my cellar

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:18, Reply)

I want some video games, some Glenfarclas
And a hotel room with Sian Williams.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:19, Reply)

*sends chucky egg and double dragon in the post*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:20, Reply)

What are you telling me for?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:20, Reply)

so you can get me these things.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:21, Reply)

I don't know enough about computer games or the whisky (or whatever that was)
But the other part should be fairly easy.
Can you recommend a cheap hotel near you?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:26, Reply)

yes, yes I can.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:28, Reply)

Home brew stuff or computer stuff or both.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:18, Reply)

how about a computer controlled home brew set up?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:19, Reply)

I was actually thinking could I get a rasberry pi and set it up as some sort of brew computer.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:21, Reply)

wot?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:22, Reply)

Simple computer about the size of a credit card that costs £25

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:25, Reply)

I want to get one of those for little tangle.
Are they any good yet?
Also, I'm a bit of a Nakers when it comes to computers, is that going to be a hindrance?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:24, Reply)

yes

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:25, Reply)

They're getting there.
And, you'd probably need to know at least where to point him for tutorials and stuff, and if needed do some soldering for him
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:26, Reply)

I'm not sure about the soldering bit.
These are not workman's hands right here.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:38, Reply)

why don't you get him a proper toy?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:26, Reply)

Because he wants him to be a successful adult.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:28, Reply)

childhood is all about training for adulthood and should in no way be fun

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:28, Reply)

And kids hate mucking around with computers.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:31, Reply)

I did
only nerds like computers, do you want tangles' son to grow up to be a nerd?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:32, Reply)

No, just the oposite of you.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:33, Reply)

a nerd then

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:35, Reply)

I just don't want him to end up like you.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:33, Reply)

Hey, i took a "hard-drive" out of a "laptop" the other day

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:34, Reply)

Have you managed to do anything with it since removing it though?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:36, Reply)

I have bought a wire to plug it into my new laptop, I am awaiting delivery

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:37, Reply)

Congratulations, you undid a screw.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:37, Reply)

I also undid your mum's bra with one hand
but she turned out to be one of those fat chicks with small poiny tits : (
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:39, Reply)

oh man you zinged loco real good

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:46, Reply)

He's on form today
he zinged someone in the previous thread as well
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:06, Reply)

He's got hundreds of toys.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:29, Reply)

+ sex

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:35, Reply)

A computer for home brew cider would require
An Apple.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:26, Reply)

Please die.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:26, Reply)

oh jeffers

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:27, Reply)

ENOUGH.
Stop it.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:28, Reply)

LTI

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:34, Reply)

If I was like a jermey beadle type tv show type guy.
I would ask someone working in a cafe/whatever, who was using an apple laptop, if they wanted a cold fruit based drink, and if they said yes, I would snap their laptop over my kneed and yell "SNAPPLE".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:54, Reply)

Or I would tie a rope around it, throw it around a beam/roof, and yell "grAPPLEing hook".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:07, Reply)

has anyone here used/played that rocksmith game?
Any good?
(quintsy, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:26, Reply)

lol

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:27, Reply)

roflmao
Did battered's daughter die last night? I haven't seen him post today
(quintsy, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:29, Reply)

No, but she's still in hospital, hopefully home later today.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:30, Reply)

for the wake?

(quintsy, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:32, Reply)

No. Sorry to disappoint you.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:32, Reply)

it's always a let-down when a midget sex pest's offspring continue to live :(

(quintsy, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:39, Reply)

I am hoping for
A copy of this: www.amazon.co.uk/New-Larousse-Gastronomique-Hamlyn/dp/0600620425/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352809611&sr=8-1

Some clothes and some peace & quiet.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:28, Reply)

and a fat dick in your mouth, right?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:29, Reply)

do fat people have fat dicks?
like fat chicks have big fat tits
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:30, Reply)

I always think it's very sad to see a fat girl with tiny tits
It's like they've been cheated or something.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:35, Reply)

I don't know. Ask Battered what his wife's is like.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:38, Reply)

Careful shitface.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:39, Reply)

Cretin.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:30, Reply)

Nincompoop

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:37, Reply)

A large Le Creuset pot

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:32, Reply)

No flushing toilet in your house?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:35, Reply)

TK Maxx has quite a few of those at the moment.
Or ours does, at least. I assume they all have much the same stock.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:37, Reply)

Just buy me some records.
I can gaz you a list.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:34, Reply)

do they have to be fair trade?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:34, Reply)

They're not grown in a developing country.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:37, Reply)

I'm holding out for some cock gazzes.
Or a new zimmer frame.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:36, Reply)

what about a gaz of a cock resting on a zimmer frame?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:37, Reply)

That might get me halfway there.
Let's give it a go.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:38, Reply)

you filthy mare!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:47, Reply)

eggs
i like eggs
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:37, Reply)

I like eggs too.
Excellent source of protein.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:41, Reply)

why did Kroney only eat one egg?

Because one egg is an oeuf!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:42, Reply)

oh nakers, not this "joke" again :(

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:47, Reply)

It works on so many levels and in so many situations
feel free to use it
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:48, Reply)

why did Nakers commit suicide?
For the benefit of society as a whole.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:50, Reply)

no thanks nakers, I'm not a bent spastic.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:50, Reply)

are you 100% sure about this?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:51, Reply)

would you really want your one gimmick removed?
nakers..... yeah, that one.
nakers, bent spastic.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:53, Reply)

is that all i am to you mmps
a bent spastic, nothing more, nothing less?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:54, Reply)

it's hardly my fault you're so ill-defined.
perhaps you should take some time off, go for a walk, skip some stones.
try and find yourself. perhaps come back as a bent spastic wanker.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:55, Reply)

I have never been to me

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:56, Reply)

I went on holiday there, it was either 97 or 98.
utterly dreadful, would not recommend.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:57, Reply)

thanks for that Paul "Judith Chalmers" Ross

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:58, Reply)

I went to me once
What wasn't run down was under construction and the whole blessed lot was overrun with Germans.
( Kroney, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:09, Reply)

Much like Paris

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:13, Reply)

Nakers: The wilderness years.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:59, Reply)

nakers trudged sadly through the streets of wigan, his left leg dragging lamely behind the other.
his mind a blank turmoil of inner regrets and pain. questions bubbling unbidden from the darkest recesses of his mind. who was he? what was he here for? why was he in wigan? why did nobody else share his love for chumba-wumba? he lashed out, attempting to kick a stone but only succeeding in losing his balance. the stone was still firmly in place, mocking him with it's glittering brilliance in the glow of the street lamp.
"haha! look at the bent spastic!" came the harsh yet high pitched voice of a child. nakers turned to look at a group of kids, all laughing at him. "oi mister! catch!" one child shouted, and threw a half drunk can of coke at him. nakers flailed at the fizzy missile but missed completely, the can smacking him on the head and soaking him in cold brown liquid. "hahaha! what a bent spastic!" the child called out, his companions picking up the chant. nakers turned and hobbled away, the words bent spastic ringing around his bulbous head.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:08, Reply)

Hahahahaha
*clicks*
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:49, Reply)

Because he surrendered as soon as it was shelled?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:51, Reply)

*le golf clap*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:20, Reply)

thinking about a wii

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:11, Reply)

Don't hold it in, go and have one.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:12, Reply)

I'm leaning towards getting some kind of tablet
Possibly a Nexus - mainly as I dont know what else to get

This is for Christmas though, not lunch!! hhahahaha!11! etc.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:19, Reply)

It's for life, not just for Christmas.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:21, Reply)

My lunch?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:25, Reply)

Yes
Today's lunch is the meal that will tip you over into Type 2 Diabetes.
Sorry to be the bearer...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:28, Reply)

+ When santa gives you AIDs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:25, Reply)

is MMPS still about?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:31, Reply)

Very much so, particularly since that dreadful business with Andrew Wakefield.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:35, Reply)

shut up and have another tofu jelly baby.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:36, Reply)

I would think that pectin or carrageenan would be more effective alternative gelling agents than tofu.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:47, Reply)

IDC brenda

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:19, Reply)

Shut up and kiss me, you fool.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:22, Reply)

this is all happening so fast!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:22, Reply)

Just go with your feelings, mmpsy
This feels so right to me.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:23, Reply)

the safeword is "bent spastic"

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:24, Reply)

what's the haps?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:36, Reply)

Daniel Avery's mix for fabric.
Right up your street. His soundcloud has some great tunes as well.

You prick.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:39, Reply)

I'll check that out laters, I'm at work just now.
cheers wanker.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:41, Reply)

shit off.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:45, Reply)

cuntbubble

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:46, Reply)

A new and improved holocaust.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:41, Reply)

do you want your whites whiter than white?
are you sick of a racially diverse society?
do you yearn for the utter purity of the aryan ideal??
well look no further than new improved zyklon b!!!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:44, Reply)

+ and a thousand year reich

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:45, Reply)

No thanks
2 minutes of his music is enough
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:48, Reply)

I thought it was a 7 year one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:58, Reply)

More of a LOLocaust.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:51, Reply)

The complete wiping out of all humour?
Welcome to Off Topic.......
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 13:54, Reply)

Can we please have a new thread?
Preferably one that isn't shit.

Thanks
xx
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:28, Reply)

DONE! oh boy, this should be fun!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:31, Reply)