what's your favourite mobile phone?
what computer game are you currently playing?
what crisps do you like best?
if nakers has 74 crabs, each laying 10 eggs a day and kills 30 a day, how long is it before he stops being a bent spastic?
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:31, 120 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I don't have one
X-Com, I'm doing quite well so far but I've lost the USA even with a satellite. Yanky-doodle-cunts.
Cheese and onion
t=x/0
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:33, Reply)

I'm trying to do the alien base assault. it's difficult :(

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:34, Reply)

I'm playing it on classic at the moment.
And I've not even caught a live alien properly yet. I just panic and grenade them if they're too close.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:35, Reply)

only thing I've not caught, that's in the game at the point I'm at, is the mechanical stuff.
the rest are easy to stun. fucking hell chompy, get a grip!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:36, Reply)

I don't think you can capture the mechanical stuff.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:46, Reply)

yeah, you can. it's a foundry project.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:48, Reply)

Oh....*dude*

( Kroney, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:42, Reply)

I caught a bunch of them but I didn't have enough power for an alien containment.
So now I'm trying to capture muton beserkers and groups of 4 floaters. It's shit.
Don't worry I'll get there in the end.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:47, Reply)

Fuck all you homes, I've completed it once and now going for trophy pwnage.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 19:05, Reply)

Pussy.
Didn't you wait until you had plasma? I totes did it with carapace, lasers and with a couple of shit squaddies in my squad.

You're gay and a shit nerd. I bet you spend time you could be honing your madskillZ in the pub with real people.
( Kroney, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:36, Reply)

I went out every night this weekend without playing the computer once :(

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:37, Reply)

Ugh. You disgust me.

( Kroney, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:39, Reply)

I had funtimes with lots of real people :(
what the fuck was I thinking? my squad discipline in xcom is shot to fuck now.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:40, Reply)

The base is easy enough.
It's linear and the worst surprise I had was aggroing six Chryssalids within a double move of my squad.
( Kroney, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:43, Reply)

my team means something to me, they're all colonels.
one died and I was all like "JOHNSON NOOOOOOOO!" and turned the game off.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:44, Reply)

My team means something to me, too.
Tactical retreat, a quick rocket and a turn of firing, no more Chryssalids.

You're like, double-gay.
( Kroney, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:49, Reply)

fuck that, the chrysalids are not the problem.
the big fucking tank walker things + muton elites + cyberdisks are.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:51, Reply)

Sectopods?
Suppression is your friend.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:52, Reply)

I guess trying to stun them is probably not a smashing idea.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:54, Reply)

Stunning sectopods is balls-out manly.

( Kroney, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:57, Reply)

SHIT YEAH!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:58, Reply)

THey're immune according to the wiki
www.ufopaedia.org/index.php?title=Alien_Life_Forms_(EU2012)#Sectopod
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:03, Reply)

There's a mission that involves
two of those tanks and a crapton of elites and beserkers and everything. I got away with only four deaths and a critical injury.
( Kroney, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:52, Reply)

lol, you're shit!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:54, Reply)

Suppression is for gays.
Unfortunately, it meant in this instance that the way OP squad sight sniper had to win the mission on her own.
( Kroney, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:55, Reply)

it so is!
chompy uses it, what a gayer!!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:56, Reply)

clicken dis

( Kroney, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:57, Reply)

STOD

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:58, Reply)

No suppression has it's place.
Also using disabling shot on a sectopod gives you time to run back.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:09, Reply)

I think I would have a better chance of understanding you if you did actually speak French.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:46, Reply)

Chryssalids are easy
you don't have to use cover when fighting them so just put your men in a semi circle more than one move away from them and they'll just run right up to you and not attack.
Mix in a few other aliens and they're a problem.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:49, Reply)

Oh boy!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:39, Reply)

:D

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:40, Reply)

I know this one!
None
None
Salt and vinegar or peppered steak
The day after never
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:40, Reply)

smashing

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:42, Reply)

iPhone 5.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:41, Reply)

somewhere in london, gonz just got a surprise erection.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:43, Reply)

I don't think you can beat the Philips Savvy.
We used to have Chequered Flag on the Spectrum. That was pretty good, but it took ages for those tapes to load.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:44, Reply)

beep beep KKKkkKKKkkkkRrrrrRRRSsssSSssSSShhhHHHhhhHHhhhhHHH
clunk clunk clunk SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:45, Reply)

"R Tape loading error, 0:1"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:53, Reply)

FUCK!!!
DAD! IT'S DOING THAT THING AGAIN!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:55, Reply)

*Phillips Savvy fives*
(^(^;;^)^)
TEAM SPIDERS APPROVES!
GO TEAM SPIDERS!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:34, Reply)

I've siad it before, and I'll say it again.
That looks to me like the view from under a coffee table as one guy sits on another's lap and does him up the arse.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:54, Reply)

:/
You are quite clearly either a brainbroke or a massive gaymo Gonz.
(^(^;;^)^)
TEAM SPIDERS DOES NOT APPROVE!
BAN THIS SICK GONZ!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:06, Reply)

Nakers explained . . .
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/11/13/modern-life-is-making-humans-dumber-stanford-university_n_2121028.html?utm_hp_ref=uk
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:44, Reply)

Bollocks

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:50, Reply)

yeah, High fives bbz

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:51, Reply)

yup, some folks are born without them too.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:51, Reply)

yeah, education is at an all time high
Literacy levels are up and still rising globally, all that 'people are getting more stupid' stuff is bullshit made-up by daily mail-alikes to make themselves feel better
(quintsy, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:59, Reply)

Also they're saying people get smarter by dying from freezing in the winter...

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:58, Reply)

has no-one here actually used rocksmith?
I'm thinking about getting it, but don't have a console (and don't want one), do you reckon it would be shit on a laptop? The screen's pretty big

I just reckon plugging a guitar into a laptop might download a trojan onto my effects pedal, completely screwing up all my algorithms
(quintsy, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:58, Reply)

No one has.
Soz.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:01, Reply)

no-one even knows of anyone who has either, it's well gay
I'd like someone to address the serious point I made about worms getting into my guitar and fucking up its hard drive though
(quintsy, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:06, Reply)

How about hanging yourself with your guitar strings instead?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:02, Reply)

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO GET DOuBLE LoCKING STRINGS OFF A FLINTROSE TREMOLO???
You insensitive prick
(quintsy, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:04, Reply)

Fucking stupid things, aren't they?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:06, Reply)

battered's such an insensitive cunt that I heard when his daughter was gravely ill he ran away to poland to pay women for sex

(quintsy, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:08, Reply)

POTD

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:11, Reply)

Prostitute of the day?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:12, Reply)

Agnieszka
She's only 4'9
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:18, Reply)

that's a whole foot taller than battered

(quintsy, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:23, Reply)

The drink numbs him to the gravity of the situation.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:12, Reply)

Actually, that is very kind of him, he gave his daughter the day off, in that respect.
soz.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:59, Reply)

If you get a Trojan in your effects pedal
Every time you try and play something cool, Status Quo will come out.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:05, Reply)

whatever you like

(quintsy, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:06, Reply)

Wouldn't a Trojan make it play reggae?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:08, Reply)

they were from The Eastern Mediterranean not The West Indies you IDIOT

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:09, Reply)

Sometimes it's hard to tell when you are being intentionally stupid.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:11, Reply)

Well I don't know why Trojan = reggae tbh

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:15, Reply)

www.trojanrecords.com/
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:17, Reply)

why would i know that?
what lable a band is on always seemed completely irrelevant
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:18, Reply)

I shot achilles (but I did not shoot Thrasymedes)

(quintsy, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:21, Reply)

There is no way of explaining the relevance of a band's label without coming across as a hipster prick.
But Trojan aren't exactly some obscure indie label.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:23, Reply)

i know universal, EMI, Sony and Island

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:24, Reply)

i bet Monty suffixes every story about a band he likes with their lable
or something about it being on "white lable"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:26, Reply)

no trojan, no cry

(quintsy, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:17, Reply)

with jam in.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:09, Reply)

Wait, what? is this a joke about being on the blob and trojans being a brand of condom?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:30, Reply)

Or the "Red Wings of Reggae "

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:34, Reply)

Phillips c12
Fallout 3 again
Cheese and Onion
4 Metric Miles
( Peej, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:03, Reply)

shiney ones
angrey birds
McCoys BEEF
:o(
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:05, Reply)

Crisps are shit

( Peej, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:21, Reply)

no youn arse

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:26, Reply)

Phillips Savvy.
Rome: Total War.
Beef Monster Munch.
Who?
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:33, Reply)

Medieval 2 is better.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:35, Reply)

HERESY!

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:47, Reply)

But it is!
It fixes the silly distance from your capital bug and is pretty much perfect as those games go.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:51, Reply)

I don't even know what that means.
If you play Rome Total War the right way EVERY family member of your faction can be an unhinged loon.
Which makes for fucking EXCELLENT pre-battle speeches.
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:09, Reply)

Medieval 2 does that too.
Soz. It's the better game.
( Kroney, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:12, Reply)

I never actually fight the battles
it takes too long and I'm shit so I always lose even when I have overwhelming forces.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:13, Reply)

This thread contains a lot of :( for me.
I am disappointed in all of you.
( Kroney, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:39, Reply)

Do you actually do the fights?
I don't know how to make them win, you tell your men to kill the other men and they just stand there and then die. It's rubbish.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:40, Reply)

You need to attack from the sides.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:41, Reply)

Yes, I do the fights.
I actually don't know how to get the effect you're describing.
( Kroney, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:44, Reply)

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
That way you will NEVER know the thrill of routing a metric FUCKTON of German spearmen units backed by several wailing women units and two barbarian warlord cavalry units with only a Roman general, one unit of principes and one unit of Roman archers.
Look, the trick with ANY battle in RTW is to have ALL your infantry in one block, archers in a block behind them ALWAYS using fire arrows, and ALL your cavalry on one flank.
Use your archers to target one enemy infantry unit at a time, your cavalry to charge the enemy flank and either roll them up or disengage and chase down fleeing units to stop them regrouping, and ALWAYS send your infantry straight up the middle. That way the enemy general will almost always charge your infantry and you can hack him to pieces by trapping him between your infantry and cavalry, all the while raining firey arrowy death down on him.
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:44, Reply)

This advice obviously is primarily aimed at the girliest game in the franchise.
With all the skirts and the doggies.
( Kroney, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:45, Reply)

What do you do when you have endless platoons of heavy knights waiting to sate their bloodlust on the enemy?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:48, Reply)

THIS IS SOOO BORING AND SHIT AND BORING

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:49, Reply)

War dogs? War dogs are BITEY FUCKING AWESOMNESS.
In the early stages you can slaughter a rebel army with just a single unit of hastati and one unit of war dogs.
I've gained many a family member by adopting a man of the hour that way.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:51, Reply)

Oh, that sounds kind of straight forward
I just can't get my head around how slow the troops react to your orders.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:45, Reply)

No.
Because ROMANS.
And BRITON CHARIOTS.
And WAR ELEPHANTS.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:33, Reply)

Two votes for the Philips Savvy now - I declare a winner.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:35, Reply)

I just completed Mass Effect 3.
About to start the second playthrough.

Skips.

Nakers will never stop being a spasticated bender.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:37, Reply)

I'll be honest mumpsy,
I don't think nakers even wants to change, doesn't matter how many bizarre crab analogy's we make.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:43, Reply)

Smells a bit fishy to me.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:44, Reply)

Are you alright?
How's the little one?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:45, Reply)

Not bad ta
She's hopefully coming home today.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:38, Reply)

He's fighting it tooth and claw

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 15:48, Reply)

Nokia 3310
Minecraft because autism and OCD mega-combo
Velvet Crunch
How long before they hatch and lay eggs of their own? Oh.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:02, Reply)

My ballbag is sticking like a motherfucker today.

( Kroney, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:04, Reply)

No idea
Fallout 3, but I've not played in a few weeks
Salt & Vinegar
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:05, Reply)

I bought all the add on packs for New Vegas
Dead Money is shit and bug ridden, but the other two I've played are pretty boss.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:13, Reply)

I've got 4 add on packs for this one, my friend and I picked them up for about £2

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:52, Reply)

Broken Steel and Point Lookout are excellent, I heard the other 2 were shit.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:53, Reply)

I'm yet to have a chance to play on the other two, but those two were excellent

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:59, Reply)

aarrrrtggggggghhhhhhh

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:53, Reply)

Fucking hell, my office is stupidly warm
I shouldn't have to be using the air con in November.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:14, Reply)

Tangles would be furious if he hadn't buggered off home to his yurt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:39, Reply)

Thanks for the message syaing the item you are watching is ending soon ebay, that was really useful
particularly as the auction ended 2 hours ago. Fuckwits.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:46, Reply)

Wasp T12 Speechtool
Blast Billiards
Salt & Vinegar Discos
Dunno
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 16:49, Reply)