Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I am SO EXCITED about the Police whatsit thingummy elections!!!I TOTALLY know who the candidates are in my area and am CERTAIN that the lucky winner will have LOADS of REAL power to make changes etc and is in NO WAY merely a rubbish PR stunt that is in reality totally fucking pointless. WHO'S WITH ME??????
Alt: something about sandwiches or crisps or choccie bars
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:26,
166 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I think it'll be the most important election you'll ever cast a vote in.You and maybe two dozen others will decide the whole thing.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Never have I felt so POWERFUL.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:32,
Reply)
We have Boris instead, much better idea. Boris for head of the UN!I just got lost in Gatwick airport, but didn't buy any crisps or sandwiches
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:29,
Reply)
best comment about jimmy savilewas the one where someone said, any minute now, boris' mum is going to admit he raped her at some point in the 1960's...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:43,
Reply)
Unfortunatley, Boris is a dead ringer of his dad.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:46,
Reply)
You're probably right.I've never seen a picture of Jimmy Savile's dad so I couldn't personally comment.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:57,
Reply)
Chrome is a much better browser.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:36,
Reply)
:(File, Import and Export ,import, look for a bookmarks. HTML file, may restore them?
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:05, Reply)
Hang on, why do you get to vote?I haven't had anything through about the vote so I assumed it didn't affect us London types?
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:39, Reply)
It doesn't. Boris has the responsibility in London.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:40,
Reply)
I've no idea if I do or not.If I did, this one is hardly likely to be my first ever vote, is it?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:41,
Reply)
I hadn't considered that.I just assumed you knew something I didn't. On closer thought this is clearly a ridiculous assumption.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:42, Reply)
I know, I wasn't thinking clearly I'm distracted by an excellent new game I've found where you build and fly a rocket.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:51, Reply)
Kerbal Space Program?It's fun to blow things up. Very hard to get to the moon.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:59, Reply)
In my defenceI'll bet there are millions of things that I know and you don't. None of them concern life in the C21st, though.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:00,
Reply)
I thought the aristocracy couldn't vote?(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:44,
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I sent a footman to do it on my behalf, the bounder never came back.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:46,
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Well if you don't pay him for nine months due to your financial status then what do your expect?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:47,
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So long as we can then vote for capital punishment, I'm all in favour of democracy.I have a list of crimes that will result in swingers from every lamp post in the land.
Mostly crimes against good taste and common decency, but a few proper ones as well.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:43,
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Poor old swingers. So misunderstood.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:46,
Reply)
In case a certain little lady walks by?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:52,
Reply)
I'll be very interested to see what percentage of those eligible to vote actually vote in this farceWe should run a sweep. I'll take 17%.
In other news, I'll be preparing my fave sandwich - Smoked turkey & encona chilli sauce with nutella.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:52, Reply)
Your choice of sandwich marks you out as mentally unstable, Captain.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:55,
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Because we didn't know that already.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:57,
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I shall neither 'live long' nor 'prosper', I suspect.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:58,
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I GET THIS JOKE*!!!*I don't get this joke
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:02,
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Don't you read books on childcare from the 1940s?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:04,
Reply)
Monty is more of a Gina Ford fan.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:16,
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I LOVE that 'Ooh, ah, just a little bit' song!!!!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:18,
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Discriminates against people with er... faces.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:00,
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Load of failed politicians taking the shilling to be fall guys for when the cuts bite and the shit really hits the fan.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:59, Reply)
A shilling, according to old Lokesy here.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:02,
Reply)
It was a metaphorical shillinganywhere from 65 to 100k depending on which paper you read.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:08, Reply)
They base the salaries on the newspaper of choice of the candidate?That's a bit weird.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:09,
Reply)
Well if they can't afford the Telegraph then clearly you can pay them less(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:11, Reply)
Just checked...The pay scales are between £55k and £100k. Derbyshire will be paying £75k.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Kevin Caroll is a lol at how bad he is at this whole thing. (
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:03,
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I'd like to apologise for this thread.Dear God it's shit.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:08,
Reply)
Well you know what the honourable course of action is...(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:14,
Reply)
I'm genuinely at a loss as to what my position is on this.I don't think this role is necessary, nor do I remember voting for the idea in the first place.
But then I think it is always important to vote and if we are going to have a local police commissioner, or whatever they are, I'd rather it was someone who might potentially be good at it rather than some shit Tory councillor who recently lost his seat.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:09,
Reply)
I vote that you are a yoghurt-weaving bellend.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:10,
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This is one ballot I can definitely win.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:11,
Reply)
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1781763
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:10,
Reply)
Tories make fake independant candidate for Corby byelectionwww.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/nov/13/tory-mp-corby-anti-windfarm-film
So he can bitch on about wind farms being shit and tell people not to vote for labour. Then as planned he pulls out.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:12, Reply)
politicians play politicsshock annd indeed horror
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:14,
Reply)
Read the story, it's straight out of the thick of it. I'm almost impressed by the balls they had. Still fucking bullshit and they should quit.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:18, Reply)
Is the story peppered by over-elaborate and painfully laboured swearing?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:20,
Reply)
the thick of it is well lol!and people that watch it can smug up at how lolsmartz they are.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:20,
Reply)
I killed my first ethereal last night.WTF they're impossible to fucking hit.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:21, Reply)
i'm so pleased for youwhat's your address and I'll send you some flowers
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:24,
Reply)
i think you should concentrate on finding your way out of the airport first.(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:26, Reply)
did that ages agonow I've realised the offices i'm in are "cashless" and you have to pay for everything withab loaded card. I may starve to death.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:27,
Reply)
i'll do in time lapse so you get a comedy speeded up version(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:40,
Reply)
You killed Elizabeth Fraser?**I'm aware that not only is this joke shit, but also no one is likely to get it. LOL!
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:27,
Reply)
No it's not, and you're just not smart enought to enjoy the thick of it.(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:21, Reply)
I see.I put it to you that The Thick of It is nowhere near as clever as it, and its legion of fawning smugfans believe it to be.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:26,
Reply)
I put it to you, that if it was an imported DVD that only you and 4 other of your famous London friens had seen it you'd be banging on about how it was the best thing that was ever made, and how it was a crime that it was cancelled.
You contrary cunt.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:33, Reply)
I am a big fan of Armando Iannuccibut that programme is so smart-arsed, smug and self-consciously 'industry award-winning' it almost puts me off it entirely.
PS was it actually cancelled or did they themselves decide to end it?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:35,
Reply)
Name one imported DVD* that I have ever banged on about and I shall concede that you are right.*or indeed a single cancelled television programme
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:37,
Reply)
That saxon DVD you bought for a stupid amount of money when you were drunk one night.(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:38, Reply)
And where did I import that from?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:39,
Reply)
He dropped an apostropheHe's actually admitting that all his protestations that I'm a "rude cunt" is just a cover for the fact that he felt so rejected by me because all he wants to do is fondle me.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:46, Reply)
That was a really fucking stupid purchase.It's about three quid now.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:40,
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It's worth £7.99 I reckonThere are some v funny anecdotes on it.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:45,
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I've bought some biscuits from Marksbut I'm not allowed to talk about those because Monty's a proscriptive snack facist.
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Kroney, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:49,
Reply)
Morning, Gaston.Fill yer boots. If you have something of interest to impart, concerning NOMMY BISKITS or CAYKE, far be it from me to object.
Better than 'tyre chat' I suppose.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:52,
Reply)
Rhubarb crumble cookies.I put it to you that they are "nyom".
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Kroney, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:56,
Reply)
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1781822
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:01,
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ca va bien, vous?I use the formal "vous" because, despite knowing you relatively well as far as internet acquaintances go (or perhaps because), I think you're shit.
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Kroney, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 11:50,
Reply)
Marketing's gain is woodwork's loss :(
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:04,
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I quite like the idea of making furniture, rathe rthan making massive corporations more money(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:07,
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One of my best pals is a Master Thatcherand he loves his job more than anyone I've ever met.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:08,
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Mark?I bet he does. Masterminding government change in small African states must be fascinating. As must arms dealing be.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:10,
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Unfortunately he gets lost on his way to work each morningetc.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:12,
Reply)
No offencebut there's no way I'd sit on something you'd made.
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Kroney, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:09,
Reply)
Well I shat on your office chair this morning, so jokes on you(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:10,
Reply)
My uncle quit his middle managment IT job to make rich people very posh fitted cabinatesHe's made enough money to buy a little boat.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:14, Reply)
He also restores antiques, which makes him a bunch of money as well.(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:15, Reply)
It's just possible that he could save my life...(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:17,
Reply)
You had a party and someone scratched your table?Check the paintings
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:19,
Reply)
Crusty spunk over page 3 of The Star is not Yellow Pages(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:21,
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You're Batterd and need a yellow pages to stand on so you can kiss a girl?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:21,
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My name?It's J. R. Hartley.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:24,
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Why would anyone want to catch flies anyway?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:26,
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You're misunderstanding what it means.'Fly fishing' is when you go fishing in 'stupid fresh' old skool sneakers, a Kangol and a fat gold chain.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:27,
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Like Fresh and Fly off of Grange Hill?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:28,
Reply)
Preciselement, as Kroney would say.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:29,
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I'd forgotten how brilliant they were:www.youtube.com/watch?v=gykeo8lvMCc&feature=player_detailpage#t=42s
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:32,
Reply)
Why did I lol? I feel dirty and ashamed.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:28,
Reply)
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