its my 10th b3ta-day
yay me..

i know this has no point, so fuck you

alt - work Christmas parties, your tales of woe?


note: fail by me. no candle so i blame the fucked counter. and search. its fucked too
( zulu eh?, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 15:59, 106 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Woo hoo for you Zoo loo.
Why doncha have a candle then? EH?????

Alt: I went to one once but we had pub first and I got so wired on cocaine before the meal that I ate two mouthfuls of food tops and avoided all eye contact, then lied about a DJing gig and did a runner. Nice one Monty!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:03, Reply)

'Course you did.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:04, Reply)

Nah se'sly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:10, Reply)

Needs more decapitation.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:04, Reply)

That was the following week.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:09, Reply)

'Course it was.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:10, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1801890
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:11, Reply)

I had one at a greyhound racing track once
We had a private room but werent allowed to play music until after the last race. I necked a pill and a LOT of redbull.

it was still shit. AND after that I had to go out on the ground in the pouring rain for a group shot with a winning dog.

Awful.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 19:08, Reply)

No it isn't, the counter fucks up because of leap years.
If it was your actual b3taday you'd have a candle icon.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:03, Reply)

boo
oh well, fuck it
( zulu eh?, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:04, Reply)

Still, I hope it's a very happy day for you anyway

(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:05, Reply)

And now you've fucked the post count by editing your thread.
BROKEN BR3TAIN
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:06, Reply)

Yay
well done. I shall be celebrating mine in March. Possibly with a glass of brandy and an ill conceived post about something or other
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:16, Reply)

You should tell us all about your Larp sex with the ever optimistic CQ

(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:19, Reply)

I'd rather she didn't.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:19, Reply)

I for one can't wait for March and the inevitable detailed if drunkenly typed description.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:20, Reply)

*bokes*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:20, Reply)

CQ: now I've cast a Lv4 spell on you, which makes you instantly orgasm
CC: ummm...
CQ: FINISHED!
(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:22, Reply)

This is the best post ever.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:24, Reply)

when you have to nominate yourself
it's not a good sign
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:27, Reply)

*casts silence LV4000 on Cavy*

(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:30, Reply)

NO EFFECT!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:31, Reply)

Afternoon or evening, depending on your point of view.
Alt: the first real office xmas party I went to, the MD spent the whole night leering at my and my fit colleague's breasts, then the next week we both got an unexpected pay rise. Job well done, I thought.

Next Friday is my *actual* birthday. I will be as old as Monty and Stunned.
i will be reminding you all of this event constantly, so you have enough time to buy me GIFTS.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:19, Reply)

You've surpassed yourself today b3th
Have you completely missed seeing any daylight?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:20, Reply)

Been busy today, innit.
Finally got in and back to my computer about half an hour ago.

By which I mean, yes, I slept all morning, woke up for some lunch, then went back to bed again.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:25, Reply)

i like sleep

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:29, Reply)

-l +h

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:31, Reply)

You hike sleep?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:36, Reply)

Youn do

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:37, Reply)

Me too.
I'm wondering if I should take it off my list of interests on my CV though.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:32, Reply)

if it's a major interest
employers need to know
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:36, Reply)

It's my favourite pastime.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:41, Reply)

Massive drugs stared at your breasts?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:24, Reply)

Well, they're only human.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:26, Reply)

parp

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:34, Reply)

Alt: my work christmas party this year is black tie
I'm sorely tempted not to go as I can't be arsed to rent a suit.

I used to have a metal tray, teapot, and various items of cutlery I clanked out of a work do with, after many free drinks pre-meal and then 2 bottles of wine with and after the meal. Not my finest hour.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:28, Reply)

But no purple bowling ball on the mantel piece?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:31, Reply)

I have a purple bowling ball.
Also a pink one, but I let the dog have that one to play with.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:32, Reply)

Is it on the mantel piece?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:34, Reply)

No.
I don't have a mantelpiece.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:34, Reply)

One year when I had my own business
I took everyone (small company, 12 of us including me) here: www.lescargotrestaurant.co.uk/Lescargot/HOME.html the food was crap, it cost me a fortune (well over a grand) and several of the staff were so ungrateful they didn't even say thank you.

I didn't bother the following year.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:34, Reply)

i'm not surprised they were ungrateful
that's a fucking awful website.

And their boss was a right try hard, I heard he had a real case of short man syndrome.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:36, Reply)

Yep a real cunt of a boss. Total and utter cunt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:40, Reply)

I heard he met people off the internet and then had a total mental breakdown brought on by the stress of knocking up his girlfriend and having to have a shotgun wedding.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:42, Reply)

Getting your dates a bit mixed up here chap.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:44, Reply)

I tend to keep it quite low key at teh work christmas lunch
a few years ago I rather over did it and were it not for the fact that everyone else was as drunk as me, I would have made a bit of a tit of myself.

On the way home I did a shit in the middle of the rugby pitch.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:35, Reply)

Now THAT'S some high-end gaming.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:36, Reply)

I would have been quicker if I had spent the extra money on an i3 3220.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:39, Reply)

You think 'high-end gaming' is a euphemism for 'homosexual prostitution'.

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:41, Reply)

Correct.
Al's rugby-shitting was a mating call.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:47, Reply)

PHWAR

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:47, Reply)

Morning!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:36, Reply)

Morning.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:39, Reply)

Silly Al.
The correct answer is, of course, 'No, just having a shit'.
Tsk.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:40, Reply)

Oh I see.
I just assumed that in your unemployed daze you had mistake this period of darkness we are currently in for the bit just before it gets light, rather than the bit after it's been light for a few hours.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:41, Reply)

I hope you never see an uninterrupted night's sleep for the next five years.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Dec 2012, 16:42, Reply)

This is a fucking stupid idea
www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/dec/06/euro-2020-across-europe-uefa
(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 17:12, Reply)

Yes, this is fucking stupid.
The arrogance of suggesting that they might have to build airports and stadia is fucking breathtaking. As if you need to build that much fucking infrastructure for a couple of football matches when the whole continant is stuffed full of perfectly good airports and stadia already.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 17:33, Reply)

NU FRED MO'FO'S

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 17:58, Reply)