Bit nippy out.
Good morning, class.

So, Tangles, Ravi Shankar is no more. I had an album of his once, it was alright. Tru story, se'sly.

So, it's 12/12/12 today. Does that mean at 12:12pm everyone has to stop for a minute to think about how cool and smart war is? I do hope so*.

Alt: Ten quid says Hartley Hare has a hangover and an underlying sense of 'what have I done?' dread today. He was on /talk last night trying to start 'a fight'. Oh dear.

*I am being 'edgy' and 'challenging' here
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:26, 132 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Never heard any of his stuff, I'm afraid.
Get to fuck, you hippy prick.

Alt: Wouldn't surprise me. I'm not hungover, but I am tired.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:33, Reply)

it's not bent heavy metal.
You wouldn't like it.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:38, Reply)

I listen to far more than just metal, dipshit.
Despite it being a bit bent, this is one of my current favourite tracks.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:41, Reply)

Like Pirate Rock, YAAaarrrgghhhh

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:43, Reply)

Not a fan of Alestorm in the slightest.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:44, Reply)

alestorm are proper shit.
Also, stole their entire schtick from Running Wild. Who were also shit, but at least it was original shit. Alestorm fans get very upset when I play the runni.g wild version when I'm djing, and get laughed out of the sh booth for asking for the alestorm original version.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:56, Reply)

Never listened to Running Wild, but that name alone has just made me think I should listen to some Airbourne.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:16, Reply)

One of the best live acts around, if you ask me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:18, Reply)

Saw them at Sonisphere last year
Un-fucking-believablely good, but his climbing act worried me somewhat...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:21, Reply)

i'm amazed they even have fans
I assumed they were a novelty act
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:19, Reply)

I have to say, I only like Metal Dipshit's early stuff.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:43, Reply)

Before they inserted the comma into their name?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:44, Reply)

That's right.
At that stage they only released their music on 'cassingle'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:46, Reply)

oh yeah, I forgot about the Vengaboys.
Soz.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:45, Reply)

He was being a bigger jackanape than usual last night.
I'm not sure the world is ready for another prick of Piers Morgan proportions.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:35, Reply)

Who was, Ravi Shankar?
Give him a break, he was on his deathbed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:42, Reply)

No, HH

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:46, Reply)

*sigh*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:50, Reply)

Global warming my arse
Never heard of him, I find the sitar pretty annoying.

Not sure what's got into him recently, let's hope it's leading to some sort of breakdown and flounce
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:40, Reply)

Heart failure I think.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:46, Reply)

LOL!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:46, Reply)

let's hope so.
Either that or the fear of being caught for the Cat 4 kiddie porn clogging up his hard drive.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:48, Reply)

How many times do you think you are going to miss this 'joke'?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:51, Reply)

It's quite something isn't it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:52, Reply)

repeatedly
I don't get it.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:54, Reply)

Everytime you don't specifically say HH they assume you're talking about Ravi Shankar

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:23, Reply)

Morning you cunts
Standing on the train, yet again, hoping the morbidly obese cancer bag sitting beside me, doesn't attempt to get off before me. She can wait till all the standees get off first, the smug fat cunt. She also looks like an avid piss gargler.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:42, Reply)

Hahahah tis the season to be jolly, eh?
Howareya?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:43, Reply)

morning
All is good, except for the seating situation. Looking forward to some festive misery. How's tricks yourself?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:48, Reply)

Heap of shit, on the whole.
Things are good 'at home' and utter toss elsewhere. Bet it's 'kin freezing in Jockistan isn't it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:49, Reply)

glad to hear there is a modicum of joy
Aye, it's fucking baltic up here, even got me thermals on. At least the cold keeps the bongo bongo contingent at bay
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:54, Reply)

Hahahah I wish you'd post more on here.
I fucken miss ye, ya bas'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:56, Reply)

work makes it difficult
Work makes sanity difficult
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:00, Reply)

work sets you free

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:13, Reply)

Clock strikes 13

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:40, Reply)

Damn shame.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:13, Reply)

We doled out our office Secret Santa presents yesterday
I didn't get one cos whoever drew me was off. I know I shouldn't be excited about the prospect of receiving whatever shite LOLWAKI present one of my colleagues can conjure for under a fiver, but I am. I'm also very much looking forward to being able to listen to the fourth test from 5.30am tomorrow on my way to a meeting in Newbury. I think my happy place needs relocating.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:53, Reply)

I'm pretty sure the human anus is generally in a fixed position, I'm afraid.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:57, Reply)

Well played sir...

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:01, Reply)

*fives*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:02, Reply)

ve st
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:26, Reply)

Newbury is shit.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:57, Reply)

Disappointing
I might have time to do some Xmas shopping before I get my train. Recommend me a decent pub, if it's shit.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:09, Reply)

You need to go here:
www.potkiln.org/
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:10, Reply)

shit off.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:56, Reply)

Finally someone talking sense!
My brother was in your town last night to see The Damned. True story bruv.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:58, Reply)

And did he pop in for a drink?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:06, Reply)

Bizarrely he wasn't drinking.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:10, Reply)

is...is he dying?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:11, Reply)

Driving.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:12, Reply)

phew!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:12, Reply)

I'd have served him a cranberry soda.
Didn't realise he was gay mind.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:14, Reply)

Oh aye, he's well bent.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:24, Reply)

lesbian mothers,
Kinda figures.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:33, Reply)

Innit.
*cottages*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:34, Reply)

Morning.
Sad news about Ravi Shankar, but he'd had 'a good innings', which is something to do with cricket I think.
Quite pleased that I managed to see him perform before he carked it though. Too many of these buggers keep dying before I get the chance.

Alt: I saw a bit of that. I genuinely can't be sure if he is
a) a heavy drinker, who gets carried away
b) the world's greatest troll
c) seriously mentally ill and likely to bertdown soon.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:58, Reply)

If it's b) the boy deserves a medal.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:03, Reply)

linky please.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:09, Reply)

really not worth it tbh

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:10, Reply)

Not much to see.
Just him flailing about like Battered in the bath with his washing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:10, Reply)

bath sink
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:11, Reply)

Is anyone else excited by the exploration of an isolated lake 2 miles under the ice of the Antarctic?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-20682647
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:15, Reply)

Nah, soz.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:18, Reply)

No
mildly interested.
Unless they find Cthulhu, or something.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:20, Reply)

The large breakfast I’m consuming is helping the hangover.
Never really got sitar, but Ravi did get about

Nothing significant seems to be going off in the 12/12/12 stakes, only found something about weddings and kids B-days.
PS where do I send the tenner
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:23, Reply)

Kids' bidets? You fucking nonce cunt.

Give it to charity ie me
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:24, Reply)

Best of all bidets
Day off, I'm going shopping later
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:27, Reply)

Alkaseltzer, aisle three mate.
*taps nose*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:32, Reply)

apparently alka seltzer + Berocca is a great hangover cure, personally Berrocca makes me feel nauseous
the other best option is diarlyte rehydration sachets
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:33, Reply)

You mean 'nauseated'.
I do hope you haven't made this schoolboy error in your apple reviews.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:35, Reply)

Huge fucking fry up
And lots of tea seems to be working a treat
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:39, Reply)

Oh man this porridge is too hot!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:27, Reply)

Thanks, "Goldilocks"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:29, Reply)

are you coming on to me?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:32, Reply)

This bed is JUST right

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:35, Reply)

How on earth do you infer that from two words?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:35, Reply)

I can smell you from here

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:37, Reply)

No, that's you
Bent spastic smell, stale drool.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:44, Reply)

whatever it is I'm harder than a titanium dildo

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:46, Reply)

GAAAAAAYYYYYY

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:48, Reply)

It's Mike Testing Day!
"1-2, 1-2, 1-2..."
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:29, Reply)

International Roadie Day

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:33, Reply)

HAHHA YOU DONT HAVE FACEBOOK SO YOU DONNO THEY'RE CALLING IT "MIC CHECK DAY" HAHAHAHAAH U LOZA
Alright Monts? How you doing?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:36, Reply)

I'm splendiferous, my dear Gonz.
Not really I'm a bit shit. However I got my kid for Sat AND Sun this weekend so we're going to have an early Christmas and I'm taking her to the theatre so I am very much excited about that.

How're you?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:37, Reply)

overnight or both days?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:38, Reply)

Both days. Don't be daft, I might kill her in the night!
Apparently.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:42, Reply)

This seems like a reasonable assumption

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:46, Reply)

Chance of nutty woman flaking out leaving you dejected and alone?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:40, Reply)

you have such a sensitive way of putting things

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:41, Reply)

Every chance, yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:43, Reply)

My prayers are with you.
Any feedback from your letter yet?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:59, Reply)

Yeah a rambling, inaccurate and extremely negative text which I've forwarded on to my lawyer.
Good times.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:01, Reply)

You know what, in a day where dogs exist, it can't _all_ be shit, cannit?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:10, Reply)

damnit Monty
I was supposed to have sexy time tomorrow but my back is being a bastard!
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:42, Reply)

Unlucky, K-K.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:43, Reply)

get one of those weightlifter back braces

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:45, Reply)

No avian related attacks today?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:47, Reply)

today has been bird free
But i won't be viisting my local ostrich farm any time soon
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:48, Reply)

Watchout for Peacocks
Them fuckers are well evil
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:49, Reply)

Not evil, but stupidest bird in the world.
We have some loose near us and they're a nuisance.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:53, Reply)

One of the fuckers pecked me a few years ago
Drew blood and everything, they have beaks like pickaxes.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:55, Reply)

They're like a Dozer pheasant
Too stupid to move until your car is almost on top of them.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:10, Reply)

super sexy

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:48, Reply)

Keep your back straight and only bend your knees

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:47, Reply)

oh what splendid advice

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:52, Reply)

Do you always schedule in sexy time in advance? or this a work thing?
PROSTITUTE JOKE RIGHT HERE GUYS^
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:57, Reply)

oh HO!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:59, Reply)

i plan to get my moneys worth!

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:02, Reply)

Ravi Shankar wasn't only responsible for awful sitar music*
He was also the father of Nora Jones. Is there no end to this man's evil?

*I actually quite like some Sitar & Tabla music.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:53, Reply)

For some reason I misread that as "labia music"
which would be very different I suspect
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 9:55, Reply)

Pussy Riot lolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Flaming Lips lolz
etc
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Cuntry & Western lolz
etc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:05, Reply)

Insane Clown('s pocket) Posse lolz
eetc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:06, Reply)

Clit Black

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:08, Reply)

Vag Doonican

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:38, Reply)

Big Cuntry.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:38, Reply)

I'm sure it would be very different!
Give it three months and there'll be a section labelled 'Labia music' in one of the hipster vinyl-selling* white-label record shops.

*I'm surprised they don't sell flintlocks and leeches as well
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:01, Reply)

The 12" would have to be packaged in a limited edition wizard's sleeve

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:05, Reply)

Triple-gatefold inside an actual otter's pocket.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:13, Reply)

Wow can you imagine if they made the record covers scratch and sniff

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:04, Reply)

no, no I can't

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:15, Reply)

So the right to bear arms has triumphed in the US once again
www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/dec/12/portland-mall-shooting-three-dead
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:13, Reply)

what a rubbish mass murderer
I doubt he even makes the top ten
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:15, Reply)

He's no 'Richard McBeef' and that's for sure.
My pleas for that to be shown at the Donmar Warehouse have so far been ignored.

*cereal bars*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:16, Reply)

YEAH...righto then

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:23, Reply)

I'm kind of on my own here eh?
My brother would get this.

Fucking Philistines.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:26, Reply)

I got it.
Virginia Tech lulz.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:45, Reply)