Narcassists
Aside from the threads below, what's the worst thing you've done for attention? Be it to impress a suitor or friend?

Alt. Where have you been/ are you going for your work's Christmas do?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 17:52, 100 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Alt: Pub.
It was nice enough.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 17:53, Reply)

We're going for a meal then to some posh nightclub
I hate RnB music so will be mortal by then.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 17:56, Reply)

Nothing so grand for us.
It was self funded, so anything 'posh' was ruled out.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 17:57, Reply)

Any mortifying tales?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 17:57, Reply)

No.
It was a nice evening.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 17:59, Reply)

I don't think I've ever done anything terrible for attention,
I was a serious biker/metaller for a while, and all the leather and chains and boots and long hair and beards get up, could conceivably have been for attention. In fact, almost defnitely was.

Alt: We won't have one, probably do a staff outing in january, go paintballing or something most likely. And then go to pound a pint and get wrecked.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:01, Reply)

Alt: I didn't.
It was in the middle of nowhere, miles from my office and home, so I thought "Fuck that".

I don't seek attention, which considering how I dress sometimes may seem at odds.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:12, Reply)

like a woman?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:22, Reply)

Only at weekends.
Not really.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:23, Reply)

so how do you dress?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:25, Reply)

Usually your bog standard jeans/t-shirt/shirt combo.
But I have an array of fairly loud yet somehow tasteful shirts that I tend to wear when I go out. I also own a green velvet frock coat and white wing collar shirt that I wear occasionally.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:28, Reply)

I've got a work do tonight. It's in a pub, obviously.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:15, Reply)

Good call.
I was half fancying the pub myself, but it's absolutely pissing it down.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:19, Reply)

I'm fairly certain there'll be no christmas jumpers at this.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:21, Reply)

Suicide is more common at Xmas, though.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:26, Reply)

I've always played in bands
Which is attention-seeking of the highest order - plugging in a loud instrument, ideally on a raised platform, then insisting everyone in the room listens to the noise you make.

Alt: a pub in Meriden.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:28, Reply)

That's true,
I guess I'm with you on that one as well.
Right, Tanglo old boy, what should I do? Ladypig is gone, I can't be arsed going to the pub or poker, what shall I fill my evening with? First evening I've been on my own for fucking ages.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:31, Reply)

If it were me
Marijuana and music.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:41, Reply)

Sounds like a good plan.
Might throw some videogames and a movie in and all.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:43, Reply)

I'm trying to persuade Mrs tangle to go out on Saturday night
So I can get really stoned and listen to some records.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:56, Reply)

a good book and a nice coffee
followed by more book and some red wine
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:53, Reply)

I do have good book to get in to,
and I've already started on the beer (well, I started about 11am) and do not drink coffee anymore.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:06, Reply)

in which case, there you go

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:11, Reply)

I like to keep a low profile.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:36, Reply)

a tyre is your only friend

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:48, Reply)

it's a good question I feel I should be able to answer
but I think my attention seeking is just a part of me now - I'm an artist ffs. Also teaching is basically about having people who are forced to listen to you, your stupid jokes and your made up nonsense.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:51, Reply)

I'm with Tangles
Strapped on an instrument (ooer Mrs) and expected people to listen. Some did, some didn't.
My ex-boss (a bit of a narcissist himself) asked how I could even contemplate getting up on stage to play. I replied 'I don't know anyone who DOESN'T like a round of applause'*.

*Not that rounds of applause were the norm - usually cries of 'Get off you talentless fat git' were more usual. YMMV
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:09, Reply)

I would love to be able to that
but I am a really shit musician. In the orchestra no one can hear me (I hope)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:12, Reply)

what do you play in the orchestra?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:16, Reply)

flute
...badly
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:17, Reply)

I used to pretend to play the recorder at primary school
I played by ear generally and then in a big concert I just pretended :)
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:22, Reply)

it's a solid musical technique
just don't get carried away and offer to do a solo
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:24, Reply)

when you're DJing
And a packed dancefloor cheer a record you're reasonably sure they haven't heard before; it's a fucking brilliant feeling. You know that you've correctly gauged the mood, made them enjoy themselves and that your timing has been rock solid.

It still gives me a rush even after years of doing it.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:32, Reply)

I miss DJing
It did give you such a buzz seeing everyone enjoying the music you play. And not because they were drunk! Ha!

stupid deaf ears...
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:51, Reply)

Streaked, a lot
Alt: Went to a converted hangar, ate a nice meal, left the venue, as the bar was shit. Then, went into Alderley Edge, got separated from the person I was due to be getting a taxi home with, as such £25 taxi.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:24, Reply)

I talk about my tits on the internet.
Alt: mr b3th and I had a takeaway the other day. That's as close as we get to a works do.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:24, Reply)

TITS!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:25, Reply)

Evening you.
Did you manage to hide successfully today?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:26, Reply)

only for about 5 minutes :(
in which time about 4 students knocked the door. It was all getting a bit stressful
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:28, Reply)

So, are you prepared for the Apocalypse?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:31, Reply)

well I'm off to a nuclear bunker next thursday
is that too late?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:32, Reply)

Probably.
Sorry.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:33, Reply)

damn
what's your plan for survival
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:34, Reply)

Frankly, I couldn't give a monkey's whether I survive or not.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:35, Reply)

that's poor
you should at least *try*.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:36, Reply)

Meh.
As long as it's not painful, I don't care.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:38, Reply)

:(

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:38, Reply)

I don't think I'd want to survive the apocalypse
if the only people left are the type who build nuclear bunkers...
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:38, Reply)

Actually, this is better than my reasoning of 'meh'

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:40, Reply)

and larpers
There is a book in which, after celtic myths come to life, larpers (specifically) me and my mates are the ones to coordinate logistics from an island in West Scotland. "..'so you're saying the geeks will inherit the Earth!'...'something like that, sir'..."

www.amazon.co.uk/Hounds-Avalon-Dark-Gollancz-S-F/dp/0575077727/ref=la_B001TA5CQ2_1_15?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1356032503&sr=1-15
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:41, Reply)

fuck it, I'm firing up my laptop and writing some sexually explicit gay porn involving OT posters.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:34, Reply)

Oh, I look forward to this.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:34, Reply)

can you guess who the participants are going to be?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:35, Reply)

male or female?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:41, Reply)

I imagine it's going to be Dozer and Battered.
They can have angry midget sex.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:42, Reply)

If I'd meant gay women, I'd've specified lesbian porn rather than gay porn.
And for the record, I find girl on girl porn fucking boring.

JSYK.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:45, Reply)

"Gay" doesn't just apply to men

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:48, Reply)

I know that, thanks for the lesson in LGBT matters.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:49, Reply)

whatever floats your boat

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:35, Reply)

I've done the first part. If it proves popular enough I'll write the concluding part later on.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:47, Reply)

+ after I've had a wank.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:50, Reply)

"I'm going to fuck you. And as I'm fucking you, you'll obey me. And I'm going to call you Estelle as I fuck you, you respond to Estelle, nothing else. Understand?"
Wilf's words were all that Localboy was focussing on. He watched Wilf's moustache move as he spoke, and he wondered to himself how those bristles would feel around his hole when Wilf rimmed him. At least he hoped Wilf would do that- he was clearly the top here, if anyone was going to get rimmed, it would be him and not Localboy.

Localboy stood back and bit his lip as he looked at Wilf's naked body. He'd suspected that his prick would be sizeable, and he wasn't disappointed. He started doing a bit of mental arithmetic, making silent estimates of the length, girth and weight of the erect member. He cast his mind back over the previous 25 years and could only remember one other cock that came near to this one. He smiled coyly as he remembered that silky feeling as he's taken that dick as deep as he could. Tonight was going to be one to remember.

"I want you on your knees Estelle, look me in the eyes. If you break eye contact then you'll have to be punished." Once again, Localboy felt a jolt of pleasure run from the base of his feet right up to his mouth. He swallowed nervously as he started trying to guess how Wilf would taste.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:49, Reply)

Congratulations. You broke the internet.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:54, Reply)

hahahahahaha!
I was going to write *spaffs* but that was even funnier than Fifty Shades Of Grey, which is saying something.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:58, Reply)

needs more bodily fluids

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:58, Reply)

Needs MOAR
‘he dived in as joyfully as an otter into a
garden stream’
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:02, Reply)

deffo

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:03, Reply)

No, No, I got it!!!
"Estelle? "

"Papa?"
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:07, Reply)

OMG there are otters on BBC1 right now!
It's a sign of the apocalypse!!!
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:05, Reply)

cataclysm of cuteness

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:06, Reply)

jesus.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:02, Reply)

YOU CALLED!!!!!!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:08, Reply)

O_o

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:04, Reply)

I have survived and have been successful!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:59, Reply)

Cool.
What did you buy us?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:00, Reply)

You'd better have got me that Undefeated Vs BAPE t shirt.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:02, Reply)

SAUSAGES!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:02, Reply)

at what?
living? that seems unlikely
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:01, Reply)

Westfielding

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:03, Reply)

is that a sexual perversion

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:06, Reply)

For some

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:07, Reply)

its always sex with this board,
it's almost as if you're all not getting enough, and are trapped in sexually stagnant relationships?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:07, Reply)

just not getting any for me

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:08, Reply)

I'm a virgin.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:08, Reply)

You need to find three wise men

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:11, Reply)

On OT?
I don't think so.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:12, Reply)

Ooh, me too.
As are most people on the internet.
Well, the ones that aren't paedos, anyway.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:15, Reply)

B3ta bashes are actually just fleshy orgies

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:09, Reply)

excellent.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:12, Reply)

clearly I've gone to the wrong ones

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:12, Reply)

There are other kinds of orgy?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:12, Reply)