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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Mid-morning, penis-ponchoes.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:24, 151 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
congratulations, you can tell the time.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:27, Reply)
'Mid-morning' isn't a fucking time you convict retard.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:28, Reply)
obviously it is. It's a gradation of time, rather than a quantified time.
Instead of saying 10:30ish, you're saying mid morning, as it is midway between breakfast time and lunch.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:30, Reply)
'What's the time?'


'Mid-morning'


'Thanks'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:30, Reply)
'What month is it?'
'First quarter'

'Cheers'
(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:32, Reply)
'How old are you?'

'adult'


'ta'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:35, Reply)
What's the date?
Winter
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:36, Reply)
AND WHAT TIME DO YOU CALL THIS?



'night'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:38, Reply)
What time did you want to meet?
Evening.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:39, Reply)
"How many times did you get bitch slapped?"

"She owned me."

"thanks"
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:37, Reply)
:o(

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:38, Reply)
'What's the speed limit on this road officer?'

'Fast'

'awesome'
(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:37, Reply)
Well that very much depends on when you have breakfast and lunch, doesn't it?
Poor B3th doesn't get up till afternoon, so how does that work?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:38, Reply)
Old 'Nell Mangel' here hasn't thought this through at all.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:40, Reply)
Strewth mate

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:45, Reply)
What a vagueina

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:47, Reply)
The Australian heat wave is so hot the forecasters have had to add purple and pink to their colour scales.
An area the size of france is now predicting daytime temperatures of 52C. That's actually crazy.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:27, Reply)
My brother is in Australia. I hope he isn't dead :(

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:28, Reply)
His name's not Peter Falconio is it?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:29, Reply)
Tres bien

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:13, Reply)
i don't get it

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:34, Reply)
If we have learned anything over the last 200 years
it's that Australia doesn't like humans. It doesn't want us there.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:30, Reply)
Clarification
It doesnt like white humans... The other lot have lived there for years quite happily
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:14, Reply)
is the next level of the scale purple with throbbing red?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:04, Reply)
followed by a white splash

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:14, Reply)
Where's the fucking question, Boyce?
Two threads started with no question or alt.

Hypocrite.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:30, Reply)
Hey, calm down.
No need to be so heavy-handed!


No offence, like.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:33, Reply)
*swats Monty*
*misses*

*demolishes office*
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:36, Reply)
Look at that. Lokers pops up same time as Poppet.
I'll bet her gazbox is redder than the palms of his hands right now.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:38, Reply)
Redder than the chafing on his helmet.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:40, Reply)
The dirty cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:42, Reply)
He's not even denying it.
Mind you, I'd imagine that it's bloody difficult to type with digits like bananas stapled to a large, over-ripe ham.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:07, Reply)
Twenty to eleven vagina galoshes

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:39, Reply)
I don't wanna go to the bank.
It's a long old way and I'm feeling super lazy.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:41, Reply)
Banks are horrible at the best of times
I always worry they'll take my money away from me
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:42, Reply)
I downloaded a new keyboard and I'm happy now.
I might go to the post office instead of the bank. Normally a longer queue but much closer.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:48, Reply)
I haven't been to a post office in years, are they still run by Mrs Goggins?

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:04, Reply)
can't you just fax the money to them?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:05, Reply)
I'd like some advice on how to

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:40, Reply)
finish a post

(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:41, Reply)
I just finished a ham and salami sandwich

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:42, Reply)
spare me your life story.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:43, Reply)
No one cares.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:43, Reply)
I'm beginning to think that you don't care

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:47, Reply)
Epic story, bro

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:47, Reply)
+ on

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:50, Reply)
I'm not Spanish

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:51, Reply)
wtn
"finished on"
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:53, Reply)
I NO!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:54, Reply)
RITE!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:55, Reply)
Any of you fancy coming to Bristol on the 25-27th May?
Upfest 2013 is on.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:44, Reply)
What's that, then.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:47, Reply)
^

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:48, Reply)
Bloody Bristolians.
Always assuming their city is the centre of the world and that everybody knows everything about it and that nothing outside of it matters.

Completely unlike the rest of the country.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:49, Reply)
That's what happens when you built a city on the proceeds of SLAVERY.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:52, Reply)
One side of my family are from Bristol.
They were all smugglers. I'm not saying that Bristolians are inherently untrustworthy, or anything. Just, you know, take it as you find it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:53, Reply)
sausage smugglers?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:00, Reply)
Budgies.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:02, Reply)
Google it.
I don't know how to copy links on my phone.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:51, Reply)
'2 In a Room' lolz

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:52, Reply)

www.upfest.co.uk/
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:53, Reply)
out-techied by Nakers.
Oh, Jeff :(
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:54, Reply)
I'd delete my account but I don't know how.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:01, Reply)
This looks GAY.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:59, Reply)
SO DOES YOUR FACE!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:00, Reply)
Urban street cockmaster.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:01, Reply)
Speaking?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:07, Reply)

master sucker
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:10, Reply)
STRIKETHROUGH FAIL
Must have been your tiny chipolater fingers and massive meaty palms
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:12, Reply)
You haven't quite worked out this strikethrough game, have you.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:12, Reply)
I'm adding him to the list with Jeff of people less technical able than me
LTATN
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:13, Reply)
I though Loco works in IT?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:15, Reply)
he flaps his massive palms to keep the servers cool

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:17, Reply)
Yup
*ashamed*
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:18, Reply)
Use your loaf, Lokesy!



No offence, like.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:14, Reply)
He's probably trying to take a bite out of his own forehead now

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:15, Reply)
Fat finger lolz on tiny phone keyboard

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:15, Reply)
Ham-fisted lolz

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:18, Reply)
It looks like Jeff's inviting us down to Bristol to go look at graffiti
instead of getting smashed on cider. That can't be right, can it?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:02, Reply)
I'd far prefer the former if I'm honest.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:02, Reply)
I can look at graffiti in Guildford
I don't need to travel across the country to go look at "Ow bist me babbers" written on a carpark wall in purple spraypaint.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:04, Reply)
Actually, that might be quite funny.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:05, Reply)
Hahahahaha.
Clickin' dis.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:05, Reply)
No thanks, but I appreciate the offer.

(Elephant Balderdash attempting to bottle the absurd, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 10:54, Reply)
But we all chipped in for a ticket for you!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:07, Reply)
I'll take it!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:08, Reply)
Sold!
I'll gaz you my paypal.
(Elephant Balderdash attempting to bottle the absurd, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:13, Reply)
Might do.
I fackin' love graff, me.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:03, Reply)
You wispy-bearded, unnecessary NHS glasses-wearing hipster wanker.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:13, Reply)
Punch him right in the drop crotch trousers

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:14, Reply)
Fuck that, I'm going to tell him that the Dropped Ostriches are in the top 40 now.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:19, Reply)
This is a man who has not one, but two ukuleles in his house.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:14, Reply)
How big are they?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:17, Reply)
Too small for your massive hands.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:18, Reply)
he has to use a cello as a ukulele

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:18, Reply)

cello set of tightropes across the Grand Canyon
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:22, Reply)
set em up knock em down...

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:20, Reply)
Sometimes it's nice to have a fiddle with friends. Wait, that's a fiddle.

(Elephant Balderdash attempting to bottle the absurd, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:18, Reply)
I'd reply to this
but unfortunately the wifi in this pop-up street food boutique in Daltson that I'm having a online marketing strategy brainstorm in is a bit dodgy.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:17, Reply)
I am up for that.
Is this separate to the April visit? Or was it February?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:07, Reply)
The only bit of Bristol I've seen is the Parkway train station
It was shit, so by that I can only assume the rest is shit too
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:17, Reply)
That's the nice bit.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:17, Reply)
that's not even in Bristol really

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:18, Reply)
IT SAID BRISTOL ON THE STATION

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:32, Reply)
It is right out on the edge next to a nasty new build area known as "Sadly Broke"

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:33, Reply)
Sally Broke?
I used to go to school with her
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:43, Reply)
But thats the same date as
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/24413
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:26, Reply)
Just morning for me...
I work 11 til 8. Boo!

I don't think penis poncho's will catch on.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:22, Reply)
They probably catch on the gunt

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:23, Reply)
They're all the rage in Hoxton.
When paired with a onesie they are quite simply divine.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:23, Reply)
what do you do Geordie JAy?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:26, Reply)
nicks cars, innit

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:27, Reply)
Racist
I'm admin/HR for a claims company.


(boooo etc.)
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:29, Reply)
I guess you start at 11am as that's when your company starts cold calling

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:32, Reply)
We gets legit data innit

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:34, Reply)
AND
I dont make the calls and therefore don't care.

Im brass at the min like. Could do with a minor scrape.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:35, Reply)
"I don't DO the experiments" said Doctor Mengele's assistant

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:43, Reply)
Oh, so you're part of the support system
for all the victims of the rampant car theft. Good for you.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:33, Reply)
I'm going let you finish...but, this is the worst thread of all time

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:31, Reply)
I refer you to the case of Wilfred vs Negativity

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:45, Reply)
I'm so bored i may go for a run

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:45, Reply)
Don't get run over.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:47, Reply)
that would be impressive on a treadmill

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:49, Reply)
Oh wait, no, the other thing. Do.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:49, Reply)
What? by your coracle?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:49, Reply)
I don't even own an coracle

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:50, Reply)
DAMMIT
I thought you were tangles
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:50, Reply)
You thought WHAT?
I am seriously one step away from internet hardmanning, here.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:51, Reply)
he wrote the original post

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:51, Reply)
This is the second time you have mixed me and Kroney up.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:54, Reply)
I'm totes going to bash him up, mate

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:56, Reply)

up off
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:56, Reply)
Dude. Gay.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:58, Reply)
you're the one lubing you hands and licking your lips!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:59, Reply)
you're are both stinky, in your own separate ways

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 11:56, Reply)
The bank was full of smelly pensioners.
I'm all for cutting their benefits if it keeps them from smelling up the queue, and wasting my valuable time.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 12:00, Reply)
I dun a new thread

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 12:03, Reply)
Won't happen, it's a guaranteed vote-loser

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 12:03, Reply)

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