these ones are a bit different though
they sell individual bags in waitrose, try it. i nearly creamed myself when i had them.

i suggested they put that on their marketing lit, but...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:51, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

The orgasmic power of salty food.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:53, Reply)

people want crisps, nuts and scratchings.
Anyone who starts asking for wasabi nuts or chili crackers is always a wankers. I am not encouraging wankers.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:56, Reply)

i had a wanker wanking at me through the window of cafe rouge once
i agree. it won't do your sales any good.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:57, Reply)

what, actually?
I always knew cafe rouge was suspect.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:59, Reply)

actually
my friend and i were having brunch at the one on shepherds bush road (which probably explains it) and one of the local elderly tramps started smiling at us through the window. then it went too far. much much too far.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:04, Reply)

Look I said sorry alright?
Just let it go. FFS!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:04, Reply)

definitely a different tramp
this one's cock was like a bratwurst
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:06, Reply)

Brown and smoked and popular in the Rhineland?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:07, Reply)

ach mein fuhrer

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:09, Reply)

who instigated it
a cheeky wink here, tits out there?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)

You have the measure of this woman EXACTLY.

Poor old tramp prolly thought he was well in there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:13, Reply)

i've done worse

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:20, Reply)

I can vouch for this.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:27, Reply)

I'm not sure anyone who likes them is automatically a wanker
I do believe that they are, however, a wanker magnet in pubs. Like flies and shit.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:58, Reply)

do you like wasabi peas?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:01, Reply)

They're repulsive.
And I like wasabi a lot.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:02, Reply)

my friend bought a massive sack of them from whole foods
her greedy dog managed somehow to get into a cupboard and climb up about 5 shelves to steal the lot.

it cried every time it took a shit for the next 3 days.

i LOL'd a lot.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:02, Reply)

Now THIS I like.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:03, Reply)

i used to turn that poor dog into a stealth missile
there is an utterly brilliant japanese fusion place in brixton that delivers called fujiyama. i love their chilli noodle dishes, but hate tofu. turns out dogs like it if you feed it to them sneakily when their owners aren't looking.

also turns out it makes them produce rancid farts of death about 4-6 hours after consumption. by which time i was safely home. heh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:05, Reply)

I make my own hot chili nuts, which I quite like
I think they'd fit into the wanker category.

not really releavant to ask about me, though, I'm clearly a wanker.

Edit, sorry, how rude. No, I don't particularly. I'm just not sure they are of themselves an effective wanker indicator
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:07, Reply)

this is a sex thing isn't it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:08, Reply)

If you like.
Actually it's a Tomasina Myers thing. Which isn't, I'm afraid, ever going to be a sex thing for me. Not even with two bottles of gin and two big paper bags.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)

I probably would.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:12, Reply)

With you, I mean - not that pig Myers.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:12, Reply)

Well said.
Turns out I can't spell name, either.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:13, Reply)

I might with enough alcohol in me.

( Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:14, Reply)

What has wheels and flies but isn't an aeroplane?
A DUSTBIN TRUCK HA H AHAHA A
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:04, Reply)

What has four legs and flies?


A DEAD HORSE LOLOLOLOLOL
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:05, Reply)

b3tan a dead horse hahahahahaha

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:11, Reply)

haha, yeah


I don't get it
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:11, Reply)

beating a dead horse is another term for a joke
in hindsight i don't get it either
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:13, Reply)

I've heard of flogging a dead horse but that doesn't work.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)

I think i'm slightly delirious and I don't quite know what I'm doing here

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:16, Reply)

Oh :o(
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time /ac
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:18, Reply)

Or a helicopter.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:09, Reply)

Microlite

( Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)

have you ever seen a helicopter with wheels?
I thought they had runners, or skis, on the bottom
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)

i googled helicopters and found one with wheels on the first page :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)

Sad times

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:11, Reply)

Loads of them have wheels.
Most of them, in fact.

Soz.

Gliders.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:11, Reply)

er, yeah, lots.
most of them in fact. at least the big ones.

I'm sorry Lampers, your joke was top notch, I'm just having a hard day.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:11, Reply)

it was a terrible joke but I hope your day gets better

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:12, Reply)

thank you kindly.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:35, Reply)

Autogyros have wheels too

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:11, Reply)

i have no idea what one of those is
i know a gyro is a greek meat wrap thing so i'll imagine one of those with a rotor and wheels.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:13, Reply)

You know Bond films? You know that Little Nellie that Sean Connery flies in that one with teh secret rocket base in Japan?
Autogyro.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)

You can fuck off back to sangatt and all

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)

You Only Live Twice

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:22, Reply)

Little Nellie

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)

Nah it's just cold.

And I've been under a lot of pressure at work.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:16, Reply)

Which is why you're constantly in a bad mood
but what about your tiny cock?
( Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:17, Reply)

It looks like a new-born dormouse sleeping in a hairy nest.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:26, Reply)

sleep drown
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:29, Reply)

With two massive, hideous growths.

( Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:29, Reply)

Monty and Stunned?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:34, Reply)

Bee in a wheelchair

( Theoban What of it, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)

SO.....
1. Gliders
2. Helicopters
3. Microlites
4. A bee in a wheelchair
5. Autogyros

And dustbin van. They're not even called trucks in this country. Jesus Christ Lampers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)

I'll be honest, I like Lampers. I think she's quite funny.
But this isn't one of her best.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)

I love Lamps.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:16, Reply)

Did you..i mean I think you did..but, did you just quote from a "film"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:18, Reply)

He is really into film.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:22, Reply)

More pubs should have this approach.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:58, Reply)

We had mussels or cockles or similar
in a foil bag and vinegar.

I had two bags and what followed was the worst food poisoning I'd ever had. I could barely stay conscious between streams of vomit.

We stuck to Ploughmans in a bag after that
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:12, Reply)