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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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i saw a van this morning where someone had written in the dirt
but instead of the usual LOLarious "clean me" and "wish my wife were as filthy as this", someone had bothered to write:

"YOU SMELL NICE"

why? why? what's the most pointless thing you've seen/done today?

alt: someone has given me the most appalling piece of work to review. what should i call them in response?

altalt: LUNCH?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 13:53, 248 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/
alt: If you can't think of anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

altalt: Bit late.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 13:56, Reply)
Ronan Keating lesser known single

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:00, Reply)
most of my client emails
alt: a mouldy cum sponge

altalt: Ham and salami sandwich, prawn and peppers sandwich, apple.

I can't believe you stomped me after I invited you to my birthday!
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 13:58, Reply)
i didn't stomp you
i put it out of its misery, like a sickly baby bird just longing for a hobnailed boot
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:10, Reply)
Now finish the job off and kill Nakers.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:12, Reply)
And I always hope to die by being smothered by snuggle sacks :(

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)
I can't answer your first thing because at 5pm I've got a video conference to go to where all I'll be shown is a powerpoint presentation
But rest assured, that'll be the most pointless thing I'll have seen all day.

alt: a silly poo head

altalt: I had a burger and chips. Sorry to everyone who had 'lasagne' down on the Theoban bingo
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:00, Reply)
is the presentation about how not to touch colleague's bums?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:02, Reply)
It's about how to maximise efficiency when touching bums

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:03, Reply)
Sounds like a goose-cutting exercise to me

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:08, Reply)
First they came for the geese, and I said nothing for I was not a goose
etc
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:09, Reply)
I have a new goose down duvet, dontchaknow

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:09, Reply)
No one cares.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:10, Reply)
I think Monty might
just a little bit
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:13, Reply)
True, the poor lovesick boy seems to hang on your every word.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)
I gotta say you lot over here seem a lot more shag happy than the /talk lot
Going on my brief look over here you all seem to be at it
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:21, Reply)
its all down
to the special Richard Blackwood peado keyboard...

I am already feeling suggestable
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:40, Reply)
Help someone I don't know what this person is saying
I NEED A GROWNUP
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:42, Reply)
Will this cover dog's bums too, or is there a separate presentation for that?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:09, Reply)
that is a two day workshop
at battersea dogs home
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:10, Reply)
I'm not allowed to the dog bum one
beyond my paygrade
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:17, Reply)
where does a dog bum start?
I've stroked a lot of dogs right to the base of the tail, was this inappropriate?
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:34, Reply)
that depends on whether you were going from the head backwards
or the paws upwards
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:40, Reply)
Fucks sake
*tears up bingo card*
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:02, Reply)
Soz there
There'll be one next week, stay tuned for fabulous prizes
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:03, Reply)
alt: a 'fucking Jewbag'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:07, Reply)
altalt: Bowl of soup and some bread, and a packet of Wheat Crunchies.
There were just ELEVEN crisps in the pack. The fucking Jewbags.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:08, Reply)
were they salt and vinegar ones?
best of all teh wheat crunchie goodness
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:10, Reply)
incorrect

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:10, Reply)
pah
salt and vinegar pisses all over your bacon or your tomato sauce crap
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:11, Reply)
I think we all know that the Spicy Tomato flavour are the nicest Wheat Crunchies.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:11, Reply)
*fives*
*HARD*
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:12, Reply)
This is true.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:21, Reply)
I think we all know that you're not exactly b3ta's 'go-to guy' when it comes to food.
BECAUSE YOU WON'T EVEN EAT HALF OF IT YOU BENT CUNTRAG.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:23, Reply)
Hey, I've been validated here by no less than Nakers and AA.
My opinion clearly carries weight.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:49, Reply)
You can get S&V Wheat Crunchies?!
Wowza!!

Good old Worcester for me
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:18, Reply)
google says
DISCONTINUED

fucksocks
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:41, Reply)
what flavour wheat crunchies
this is important
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:10, Reply)
Baby boy’s foreskin flavour. Fucking Jewbags.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:11, Reply)
Fucking nonce
Not content with sucking kids off, you also chew on their leftover Jewish bits
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:26, Reply)
Yeah so what if I am a nonce?
There's no law against it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:28, Reply)
I got a new thing I make now.
I get some Smoked River Cobbler (which is a wicked fish, like cod, only 1/4 of the price), that I turn into a smoked [haddock] and sweetcorn chowder.... but then I get some Doritos Chili Heatwave (they have to be these ones), that I melt some emmingtile on top, and sprinkle over the soup.

It looks like dog sick when you photo it, but it tastes un-be-fucking-leve-a-waitforit-ble.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:11, Reply)
you turn cod into haddock?
it's like jesus at the wedding, but fishier
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:11, Reply)
This is why gays shouldn't marry

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:12, Reply)
I said "like cod", not "is cod".
There, lawyered the lawyer, kaplowie. #Lawyerized !
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:17, Reply)
you said like cod, that I then turn into Haddock...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:18, Reply)
They're all the same to Gonz and his piscine alchemy ways.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:19, Reply)
The [] was there to show that it could be any smoked fish really, but is normally haddock or code.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:19, Reply)
He uses it in a haddock and sweetcorn chowder recipe.
Is it that hard to understand?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:20, Reply)
Spot on !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:21, Reply)
These people are trying to use your dyslexia as a cover for their own stupidity.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:23, Reply)
It's not working, even for a second.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:23, Reply)
This is why I hated school when they lumped the dyslexic kids with the thick kids.
I don't wanna sit next to them.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:29, Reply)
The dyslexics?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:31, Reply)
what alchemy do you use to turn a River Cobbler into a Haddock?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:11, Reply)
wanking.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:16, Reply)
Yup, removes the rinkles, if you know what I mean, which I think you do, but incase you don't, when the penis is hard there are less rinkles.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:19, Reply)
I HEAR YA!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:21, Reply)
yahgetsme blud

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:22, Reply)
BOOOM!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:25, Reply)
P-RACTICE!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:23, Reply)
I have a real problem with any flavouring other than just salt on tortilla chips for some reason.

I’ve taken to making my own ones with sea salt, rosemary and garlic, using up leftover wraps. Insert druglolz here.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:13, Reply)
I don't think rosemary or garlic are types of salt old boy

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)
They’re not actually part of the chips YOU FUCKING COON.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:17, Reply)
ready salted crisps are the dog's knackers
which is a sure but definitive sign of middle age.

like ordering cheese instead of pudding.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:15, Reply)
Do you fry them or dry roast them?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:16, Reply)
ROAST

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:17, Reply)
*makes notes*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:21, Reply)
how do you make tortilla chips from wraps?
(I'm honestly interested, cos I've tried it before and it's been a bit Meh) because tortilla chips are from corn tortillas not wheat ones... ?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:18, Reply)
You fry the tortilla lightly in oil for a few seconds on each side
Then you pre-heat the oven to gas mark 6, pop it in there for twenty minutes, remember, run back, throw away the charred mess and then pop down the lidl for some cheapo ones
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:20, Reply)
Hahaha see below.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:20, Reply)
Cut into wedges, season and dress lightly with oil, then bake.
Having first burnt two whole batches by not paying attention.

Obv not actual tortilla chips but crunchy triangular dipping snacks so meh.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:20, Reply)
That's probably where I'm going wrong
I was frying them, which makes flour tortillas a bit urgh becuase they just absorb oil where corn ones don't as much.

But I always have leftover wheat ones, and they're an arse to freeze. I'll try the Boyce oven method.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:23, Reply)
It's that or bin the fuckers after 24hrs and I can't afford to live like that no mo'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:24, Reply)
this^
Major cost saving exercise at the moment
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:26, Reply)
Lusty is an expert on frugality.

I am...ah.....slightly less so *inhales £60 in an hour*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:27, Reply)
£1 a minute, plenty of stuff costs that much

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:32, Reply)
It's cheaper for me to buy a gram of bugle and stay in than it is to go to the pub like a normal person.
BROKEN BRITIAN.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:39, Reply)
I once did that and put them in a bastardised sushi that I made, it worked really well.
I didn't do the rosemary and garlic, but I bet that works well.

I think the heatwave one is the only flavoured nacho I like. I prefer plane to salt, but it needs ALL TEH CONDIMENTS.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:21, Reply)
Precisely - the flavour should come from the stuff you're dipping them in, I think.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:22, Reply)
Houmous? Hummus? houmus?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:35, Reply)
Again I wouldn't choose the flavoured ones.
The one exception is Sainbury's Moroccan one, which has a lovely harissa topping.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:38, Reply)
I don't believe in houmous.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:40, Reply)
Nah mate it's real. It's real alright.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:41, Reply)
they used to do an amazing one with pesto on top
but DISCONTINUED.

story of my snacking life.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:42, Reply)
this is correct

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:08, Reply)
Someone at work doing the wrong setup on a card order of 20,000
And it not being noticed by us, the customer has just emailed us to complain. Very annoying, as the customer has been previously useless, but now we're just as bad.

Alt: Naked Ape

AltAlt: Didn't pick up anything, had to go to Subway. Wish I hadn't.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:11, Reply)
Many, many meetings
Alt:
Kuntakinte

AltAlt:
Grim ham sandwich - meh
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:24, Reply)
Spent half an hour setting up a goal seek in excel for an iterative heat transfer problem
just to I can screencap it for a lecture tomorrow.

What a waste of a life.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:25, Reply)
Those are definitely words, I'm sure. I am going purely on trust here.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:26, Reply)
Worryingly, I actually understand them
*drinks more meths*
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:27, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1825611
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:30, Reply)
chompy would understand, man. You cut me.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:41, Reply)
luckily for all of us
he's banned himself from participation.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:43, Reply)
DYAAKY

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:26, Reply)
I'd rather kill my students.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:42, Reply)
Naked_Ape
alt: Naked_Ape
altalt: pasta, which was as intelligent as Naked_Ape.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:27, Reply)
Don't try and palm me off with this answer.


No offence, like.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:29, Reply)
shut it bread head

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:30, Reply)
DOUGH!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:33, Reply)
I'll be honest swipe,
The entirety of today is pointless for me. January is so quiet it's barely worth opening the doors. Although I have decided to have a beer, in the hope of taking the edge off the drudgery and boredom.

Alt: nincompoop.

Altalt: I had a steak sandwich.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:28, Reply)
I miss steak, not had it in far too long.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:30, Reply)

steak the feeling of 12 burly men drenching me in their cum
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:32, Reply)
I know after yesterday's "magic vagina" incident that I'm not one to talk,
But you do a lot of sexually aggressive strike through and jokes.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:33, Reply)
do I?
I hadn't noticed tbh
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:34, Reply)
If only search was working.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:35, Reply)
I think they are going to be on it straight after they have sorted out my stupid username:
jelly.b3ta.com/board/10905663
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:38, Reply)
Were you a boarder at school?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:37, Reply)
I reckon he's more of the 'roller boots' type personally.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:40, Reply)
aka a frightful quare.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:40, Reply)
maybe...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:08, Reply)
Sainsbury has steak. as do most good butchers.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:32, Reply)
most, but not all

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:32, Reply)
I have an wholesaler by me with some excellent steaks
However, due to money saving, I'm avoiding it for the time being.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:35, Reply)
What?
If saving money is your thing, go to your wholesale man, and buy a ton of meat and fish at a good price due to bulk buy discounts, freeze it, only buy potatoes and some other veg and bread and milk in your weekly shop. I save about 600 odd quid a year I think by buying meat and fish once every 12 weeks or so from my man with the chill van.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:38, Reply)
^^this is what we do, too

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:40, Reply)
nice.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:41, Reply)
If I could be anused I can get to Smithfields meat market in about 15 mins from my gaff.
I don't appear to be anused though, to date.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:41, Reply)
I get mine delivered to the front door.
If Oxford has it, London has it.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:44, Reply)
I think most places have front doors these days.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:46, Reply)
Everyone on my road has one.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:47, Reply)
That must make shitting really hard.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:47, Reply)
I'm like that QOTW chap with no bumhole.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:49, Reply)
At least it reduces your chances of being fingered by a mod.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:51, Reply)
I saw battered on facebook last night still whining about being stepped.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:53, Reply)
You say that, but with my hair down I look like a dog.
:o(
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:55, Reply)
I do the same
However, it's spend money to save money, and Christmas has absolutely bankrupted me. Also, I only have limited freezer space, so I can never buy as much as I actually want.

I'll be doing it again at the end of the month, but just trying to keep going until then.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:02, Reply)
Civil Servant in sense of humour shock
www.theregister.co.uk/2013/01/09/bigjigs_bid/
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:44, Reply)
anyway fuck your wheat crunchies, this is the shit you want
www.fdin.org.uk/2012/04/american-pretzel-snack-launches-in-the-uk/

windy you should totally stock these in your pub.

then close the doors and eat them ALL.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:45, Reply)
Flavoured popcorn is another new thing
ie; Salt and Vinegar, Worcester sauce etc.

Nice.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)
We had some in last year.
No cunt bought any.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:50, Reply)
Flavoured popcorn was going to be a new thing about 12-13 years ago.
It's shit, which I guess is why it never took off.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:52, Reply)
i love sweet popcorn
cinema sugared, covered in caramel and pecans, covered in caramel and then belgian chocolate, or for a healthier version, the itsu one which is naked but lightly drizzled with chocolate.

but savoury popcorn can go fuck itself.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:52, Reply)
But as we've established, sweetie
your opinion on food is mostly invalidated due to you not actually liking the best 50% of it.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:57, Reply)
it's lucky we have a pre-arranged agreement that i am always right, pusskins

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:58, Reply)
WTF do you mean "naked"?
You mean "unflavoured".
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:02, Reply)
She's accidentally caught a mild dose of hipster
it'd be sexually transmitted, were it not for the tragic fuckers being too self-obsessed to actually notice anyone else let alone shag them ... so I can only assume rswipe picked up the wrong mochafrappalatto at Bozoink!Hotshots# yesterday and caught it that way
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:06, Reply)
Well said
*manly handshakes*
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:09, Reply)
I am extremely tasty i'll have you know

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)
Pretzels are shit. Soz.
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)
these are nothing like ordinary pretzels my man
they are like extra crunchy crisps. and really flavoursome.

in fact you had the jalapeno ones at PIZZABASH.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:49, Reply)
I didn't touch the fuckers.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:55, Reply)
you ungrateful sausage hound
imma come to your flat and forcefeed them to you.

and make you call me daddy.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:57, Reply)
Nothing weird about that.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:02, Reply)
i thought not

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:06, Reply)
Me either. Pretzels are fucking rank.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:03, Reply)
The sort of food that weird vegetarians like.
Wrong wrong wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:04, Reply)
imma come to your flat and -
oh wait. i wouldn't be caught dead in fucking SLOUGH.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:07, Reply)
I don't live in Slough anymore.
But I can't see you trekking all the way up to Muswell Hill, so either way I'm safe.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:08, Reply)
primrose hill i might do, darling

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:09, Reply)
*crosses another village off the "look into" list*
Noted.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)
yeah
'cos they'd let the likes of you into primrose hill
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:21, Reply)
They do seem like they'll provide an “excellent” margin for the on-trade.

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)
We had pretzels for a bit.
No cunt bought any.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:49, Reply)
these ones are a bit different though
they sell individual bags in waitrose, try it. i nearly creamed myself when i had them.

i suggested they put that on their marketing lit, but...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:51, Reply)
The orgasmic power of salty food.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:53, Reply)
people want crisps, nuts and scratchings.
Anyone who starts asking for wasabi nuts or chili crackers is always a wankers. I am not encouraging wankers.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:56, Reply)
i had a wanker wanking at me through the window of cafe rouge once
i agree. it won't do your sales any good.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:57, Reply)
what, actually?
I always knew cafe rouge was suspect.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:59, Reply)
actually
my friend and i were having brunch at the one on shepherds bush road (which probably explains it) and one of the local elderly tramps started smiling at us through the window. then it went too far. much much too far.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:04, Reply)
Look I said sorry alright?
Just let it go. FFS!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:04, Reply)
definitely a different tramp
this one's cock was like a bratwurst
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:06, Reply)
Brown and smoked and popular in the Rhineland?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:07, Reply)
ach mein fuhrer

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:09, Reply)
who instigated it
a cheeky wink here, tits out there?
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)
You have the measure of this woman EXACTLY.

Poor old tramp prolly thought he was well in there.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:13, Reply)
i've done worse

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:20, Reply)
I can vouch for this.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:27, Reply)
I'm not sure anyone who likes them is automatically a wanker
I do believe that they are, however, a wanker magnet in pubs. Like flies and shit.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:58, Reply)
do you like wasabi peas?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:01, Reply)
They're repulsive.
And I like wasabi a lot.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:02, Reply)
my friend bought a massive sack of them from whole foods
her greedy dog managed somehow to get into a cupboard and climb up about 5 shelves to steal the lot.

it cried every time it took a shit for the next 3 days.

i LOL'd a lot.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:02, Reply)
Now THIS I like.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:03, Reply)
i used to turn that poor dog into a stealth missile
there is an utterly brilliant japanese fusion place in brixton that delivers called fujiyama. i love their chilli noodle dishes, but hate tofu. turns out dogs like it if you feed it to them sneakily when their owners aren't looking.

also turns out it makes them produce rancid farts of death about 4-6 hours after consumption. by which time i was safely home. heh.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:05, Reply)
I make my own hot chili nuts, which I quite like
I think they'd fit into the wanker category.

not really releavant to ask about me, though, I'm clearly a wanker.

Edit, sorry, how rude. No, I don't particularly. I'm just not sure they are of themselves an effective wanker indicator
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:07, Reply)
this is a sex thing isn't it

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:08, Reply)
If you like.
Actually it's a Tomasina Myers thing. Which isn't, I'm afraid, ever going to be a sex thing for me. Not even with two bottles of gin and two big paper bags.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)
I probably would.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:12, Reply)
With you, I mean - not that pig Myers.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:12, Reply)
Well said.
Turns out I can't spell name, either.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:13, Reply)
I might with enough alcohol in me.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:14, Reply)
What has wheels and flies but isn't an aeroplane?
A DUSTBIN TRUCK HA H AHAHA A
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:04, Reply)
What has four legs and flies?


A DEAD HORSE LOLOLOLOLOL
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:05, Reply)
b3tan a dead horse hahahahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:11, Reply)
haha, yeah


I don't get it
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:11, Reply)
beating a dead horse is another term for a joke
in hindsight i don't get it either
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:13, Reply)
I've heard of flogging a dead horse but that doesn't work.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)
I think i'm slightly delirious and I don't quite know what I'm doing here

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:16, Reply)
Oh :o(
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time /ac
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:18, Reply)
Or a helicopter.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:09, Reply)
Microlite

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)
have you ever seen a helicopter with wheels?
I thought they had runners, or skis, on the bottom
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)
i googled helicopters and found one with wheels on the first page :(

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)
Sad times

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:11, Reply)
Loads of them have wheels.
Most of them, in fact.

Soz.

Gliders.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:11, Reply)
er, yeah, lots.
most of them in fact. at least the big ones.

I'm sorry Lampers, your joke was top notch, I'm just having a hard day.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:11, Reply)
it was a terrible joke but I hope your day gets better

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:12, Reply)
thank you kindly.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:35, Reply)
Autogyros have wheels too

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:11, Reply)
i have no idea what one of those is
i know a gyro is a greek meat wrap thing so i'll imagine one of those with a rotor and wheels.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:13, Reply)
You know Bond films? You know that Little Nellie that Sean Connery flies in that one with teh secret rocket base in Japan?
Autogyro.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)
You can fuck off back to sangatt and all

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)
You Only Live Twice

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:22, Reply)
Little Nellie

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)
Nah it's just cold.

And I've been under a lot of pressure at work.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:16, Reply)
Which is why you're constantly in a bad mood
but what about your tiny cock?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:17, Reply)
It looks like a new-born dormouse sleeping in a hairy nest.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:26, Reply)

sleep drown
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:29, Reply)
With two massive, hideous growths.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:29, Reply)
Monty and Stunned?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:34, Reply)
Bee in a wheelchair

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)
SO.....
1. Gliders
2. Helicopters
3. Microlites
4. A bee in a wheelchair
5. Autogyros

And dustbin van. They're not even called trucks in this country. Jesus Christ Lampers.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)
I'll be honest, I like Lampers. I think she's quite funny.
But this isn't one of her best.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)
I love Lamps.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:16, Reply)
Did you..i mean I think you did..but, did you just quote from a "film"

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:18, Reply)
He is really into film.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:22, Reply)
More pubs should have this approach.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:58, Reply)
We had mussels or cockles or similar
in a foil bag and vinegar.

I had two bags and what followed was the worst food poisoning I'd ever had. I could barely stay conscious between streams of vomit.

We stuck to Ploughmans in a bag after that
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:12, Reply)
Probably logging on here.
Afternoon, how are we all?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:50, Reply)
hola

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 14:53, Reply)
Nice Xmas sig on the fucking 9th of fucking January you WANKER.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:03, Reply)
Isn't it still Christmas until Candlemas?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:09, Reply)
12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS YOU WANKER
12.

Ended on Sunday.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)
Taking the 'piphany

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:14, Reply)
Don't ask me, I was raised an atheist
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Presentation_of_Jesus_at_the_Temple#Eastern_Christianity
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:16, Reply)

atheist druid
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:18, Reply)
Here to help:
+ n
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:20, Reply)
in what way?
I can yoghurt weave at a 4th "tree child" level, i have no need of your teachings
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:24, Reply)
The farce is strong with this one

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:30, Reply)
please don't use star wars references in reply to me, it's for children and nerds
kthx
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:35, Reply)
Not the reply you were looking for, then?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:38, Reply)
shove a lightsaber up your arse and turn it on
there's a good lad
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:38, Reply)
You overestimate my powers

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:40, Reply)
Thanks for that Rev

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:12, Reply)
Excuse you?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:46, Reply)
well this has died
how it made it this far, I'll never know
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:29, Reply)
The mere mention of food.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:30, Reply)
the key to success on these hallowed boards

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:32, Reply)
Rick Astley, being a generous sort has offered to lend you his Disney film collection. All except one.
He's never gonna give you Up.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:30, Reply)
GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM, BOY

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:31, Reply)
This is a better joke than that shitty Noddy Holder one of yours.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:33, Reply)
I like that Bob Marley one of Monty's.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:34, Reply)
No she went of her own accord!"!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:34, Reply)
Not it isn't.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:47, Reply)
s'il vous plaît vous tuer

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:31, Reply)
Is this some sort of cry for help?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:33, Reply)
It's a cry for a fucking punch in the face

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:47, Reply)
I let out an audible groan at that.
And not a pleasurable one, let me tell you.

Extra points for unintentional RickRolling
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:38, Reply)

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