Imagine you get a surprise day off tomorrow
due to adverse weather conditions. What are you going to do with it?

alt: if you could pickle anything, what would you pickle?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 18:17, 78 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I just heard the best line ever.
"I'd bury my dick so far up the arse that whoever could pull it out would be crowned the new King Arthur".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 18:24, Reply)

that's pretty grim
also, if he himself isn't the one to be crowned King Arthur that would make for an awkward social situation
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 18:31, Reply)

This made me lol.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Jan 2013, 18:54, Reply)

haha

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:10, Reply)

work from home.
We were all given remote access fobs this week.

Big business doesn't stop just because it's snowing.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 18:38, Reply)

big businesses are fools
arsing about in the snow is way more fun
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 18:59, Reply)

PD is v important, donchaknow?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:32, Reply)

Not having remote access from home, or any form of mobile communications accessible out of work hours was one of my requirements for taking my current job.
You want to take that fob and stick it directly up your boss's arse.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:09, Reply)

can't do that.
Unless I'm on annual leave or sick then I have to work. Fingers crossed for being stuck here in York though.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:11, Reply)

Fuck that shit.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:12, Reply)

nah, I'm doing a project for the CEO right now.
Can't let him down.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:15, Reply)

Fuck his shit.
You might as well be cleaning the tyres of his Bentley with your tongue.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:17, Reply)

Ours just go for making you feel guilty enough
to do more work. I actually feel bad I left things at work that I could conceivably do tomorrow if snowed in. Fuck that shit
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:12, Reply)

You seem to have mistaken an employer for somebody with whom you should have an ethical and emotional involvement.
Fuck that shit. I do my stuff. I get paid. Fuck the rest of that shit.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:15, Reply)

you mistake me for someone who isn't both neurotic and a bit competitive
about my job :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:59, Reply)

Fuck both of those shits.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:42, Reply)

YM

Shit in your cunt

etc.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 18:54, Reply)

But really I'd probably watch Jeremy Kyle and do stuff the great unwashed take for granted.
Like lounge about in my underwear and eat pasties.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 18:56, Reply)

Alt. Cauliflower
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 18:56, Reply)

you're getting better at this

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 18:58, Reply)

That was my first
YM.

I feel very proud!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:16, Reply)

Shouldn't you be going for the 'your dad' option?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:31, Reply)

Fancied a change...
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:33, Reply)

You benders are so fickle.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:41, Reply)

Watch the rest of Person of Interest.
Play in the snow with the dog.
Drink sixty kazillion cups of tea.

Alt: brains
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Jan 2013, 18:56, Reply)

this sounds like a good use of time

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 18:59, Reply)

I don't think I've ever been given a day off because of the weather.
I once trudged to school in heavy snow, only to be told it was shut.
If I did have the day off I'd get dinner ready in the morning, then muck about with the kids and then nip for a pint in the afternoon.

Alt: A peck of peppers.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:30, Reply)

we used to have to listen to local radio
for the list of closed schools. It was the most tense and exciting time of radio listening ever
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:58, Reply)

I can't remember my school ever being closed for snow
Although even the snow tends to avoid Barrow.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:11, Reply)

Only have one job tomorrow and it's ten minutes walk from home and mid afternoon
I'd pickle half a cow to see if I could get rich like Damien Hirst.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:37, Reply)

Even if not, it would be delicious

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:59, Reply)

Alt: A duvet.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:43, Reply)

is this a reference to trev and simon?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 19:59, Reply)

Yes.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 22:10, Reply)

c'est bon?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 22:18, Reply)

I have a planned day off instead
I shall be taking a crack at a slow cooker beef bououourguiuiugnon after Chompy put the idea in my head last week.

Still haven't found any pearl onions but I managed to find some very small shallots.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:06, Reply)

you won't get any more small onions
that'shallot
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:07, Reply)

This joke has been done before.
Sorry.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:13, Reply)

this is hard to believe

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:24, Reply)

True story, you can get pickle-juice ice lollys in america. I really wanna try them, I bet they'd be nice.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:10, Reply)

i am both repulsed and attracted by this notion

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:12, Reply)

I'm going skiing tomorrow.
So there had better be some fucking snow.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:13, Reply)

alright, fine
go fuck yourselves the lot of you.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:16, Reply)

things go slower this time of evening
calm yourself.

So, tell us about where you are going skiing
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:17, Reply)

I'm going to Chamonix on a stag do.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:23, Reply)

will you all get chamonix leathered?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:25, Reply)

Probably.
I think the plan is to spend more time drinking than skiing.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:29, Reply)

Anyway Cavy - as you're the only public sector person I know
Whatever happened to the regular days of action that UNITE were going to organise against "the cuts"?

They were going to bring the country to it's knees, topple the Condems and reinstate Tony Blair as world leader as I remember.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:20, Reply)

unite were kind of the baddies here (in terms of the unions coming together)
the other unions were doing things, but unite made a shoddy deal without the backing of the members of the union.

Since then, I don't really know. I expect it's politics on a level I can't be bothered with
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:23, Reply)

I see
I remember the first and only one because I met the late lamented BarryfromEastenders for lunchtime drinking that day.

I wondered if it wasn't because of all the abuse and jeers the marchers were getting. Some of them came into the pub with their made in taxpayers time and were shouted out.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:28, Reply)

really?
We had loads of support our way, from outside the place and around the rally. I guess is depends where you are
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:30, Reply)

He was standing next to Stunned and Rory.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:31, Reply)

I think Rory is just a bot

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:34, Reply)

I think he likes bots.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:39, Reply)

and bot dogs

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:41, Reply)

Leeds
Took a lot of big private sector redundancies with no support whatsoever from their TUC colleagues.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:46, Reply)

I will not be defeated by the weather.
It's the 21st century, not the Stone Age.

Plus I only live four miles from work and have no mobility issues, so I'd have no excuse for not going in anyway.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:24, Reply)

I've got no excuse, I live 500 yards from my office.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:30, Reply)

Alright Mr Woodside
I was on your patch today - Roberttown then Cleckheaton.

It's amazing that there's more economic activity in Cleckheaton (population 310 and some dogs) than there is in Bradford (population 310k declared.)
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:32, Reply)

How do you mean.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:42, Reply)

There are shops and people shopping in them
They might not be the best shops, but at least they're open.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:47, Reply)

Actually yes, now you mention it I've noticed that some commercial premises that have stood empty for 4-5 years are starting to become occupied now.
Figured it was down to the property agent finally seeing sense and dropping the asking price (which the usual reason houses and shops alike stand empty for years round here.)
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:53, Reply)

They're not necessarily going to survive
But open is better than closed.

The residential problem is partially due to Spen being primarily marketed by dinosaurs. That's the first time I've worked down there for 12 months and I doubt if I'll get there again soon.

It's a good market for a franchise.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 21:07, Reply)

God, Cleckheaton.
It's a bit of a toilet.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:56, Reply)

I've lived in worse places.
At least here I don't have to keep my wheelie bins indoors to stop them being torched by pre-teen arsonists.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:58, Reply)

This was my introduction to living in Moss Side.
Burning wheelie bins, and a forensic team looking for a knife, that had been used to murder a guy, over an argument over boxing. What a lovely place.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 21:04, Reply)

I have a couple of flats in Leeds
Opposite a hill that Peter Sutcliffe bunged one of his victims over.

I kept quiet about that but they're off Consort Terrace. You know that iconic Saville clip of him driving his white roller up a cobbled street to his childhood home?

That's Consort Terrace.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 21:14, Reply)

Pickled garlic is nice.
I've done it with Scotch Bonnets.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:55, Reply)

You've done it with your mum too.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 20:58, Reply)

At least she swallowed unlike yours.
Who spat. And on a third date too.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 21:03, Reply)

is Geordiejay still about?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 21:05, Reply)

but tomorrow is my day off. :(

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jan 2013, 21:48, Reply)

Alright?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 23:06, Reply)

Cunt a cunt
alt: bit of cunting
( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 6:12, Reply)