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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Who won the fight then?
And is anybody not curled up in the corner crying for their mummy?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 7:58, 110 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Speaking of fights, where is my bastard ex?
I want to smash his face in.

Again.
(_Battered_, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:05, Reply)
Oh hilarious.
Well done Al.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:16, Reply)
I thought you were more into strangulation?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:31, Reply)
Other than Police Dog, have there ever been ANY funny comedy accounts?

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:40, Reply)
Bollocks Parrot?
I don't remember Police Dog. Surprised nobody has done this one before tbh.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:43, Reply)
Oh, we've ALL done Monty's Ex at some point, amiright?

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:46, Reply)
Oh yeah, in fact there was a bit of a pregnancy scare about ooh I don't know 4 years ago

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:48, Reply)
I liked shed

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:46, Reply)
Me too.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:47, Reply)
there was a pathetic one that still made me laugh
qotw was "the most money you've ever carried" or something gash, and some L-plated comedy account called "the queen" said:

"none, whatsoever. not a single penny."
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:06, Reply)
That wasn't as good as Paul Ross though.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:08, Reply)
Internet Lawyerman QC wasn't bad
/AC
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:58, Reply)
This really never stops being hilarious.


Sorry, the other one. Starts.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:04, Reply)
* Punches *

(_Battered_, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:07, Reply)
Pure. Genius.
Now say I'm skint. Go on.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:10, Reply)
Not sure I like EMV coming over to /OT

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:11, Reply)
I have had loads of sleep
And feel ready to take on the world*
*By world I mean the breakfast cob I’m going to order
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:21, Reply)
Who has sweetcorn for breakfast?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:33, Reply)
Anyone who eats cornflakes.
You cretin.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:13, Reply)
gid moaning quenders

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:24, Reply)
Morning you clutch of spunk ostriches
Whoever wins, we lose
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:31, Reply)
Morning Nakey Noo
Have you decided to play nice today?
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:33, Reply)
I'm nice everyday.
I'm the nicest one here
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:35, Reply)

nicest one bent spastic
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:37, Reply)
OH LOL!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:46, Reply)
which fight?
this one?

www.b3ta.com/questions/selfimportant/post1842871

i think i have to say ww.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:02, Reply)
i ran out of energy to read all of that...
but is Amorous Badger married to Wicca Witch?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:12, Reply)
Yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:12, Reply)
no, happy phantom
and emvee is their sex puppet whom they take it in turns to wear like a glove
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:12, Reply)
AB is married to WW.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:13, Reply)
read my comment again
now tell me on which planet i did not know that and was being serious with my suggestion.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:14, Reply)
The lack of humour in your post (no change there then) made it seem to me that you genuinely thought she was married to HP.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:16, Reply)
no
your utter lack of anything resembling either a sense of humour or a brain cell made it seem to you that etc etc.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:21, Reply)
says someone more suited to Mencap membership rather than Mensa.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:25, Reply)
More "Greggs Hat" than "Men Cap"

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:25, Reply)
hey
don't do the crime if you can't do the time
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:27, Reply)
What are you wittering on about now you stupid tart?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:30, Reply)
Bebbeh!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:42, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:44, Reply)
Morning all
Hope you're all rested and relaxed, ready to take on all the day can throw at you.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:09, Reply)
I am not rested but I am READY

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:12, Reply)
Excellent
Now, go get 'em!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:20, Reply)
RARGH!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:21, Reply)
no idea.
I've been having a nanna nap the last couple of hours though.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:20, Reply)
I am fucked beyond belief
My kids have stopped sleeping for about the last week. I've been up about 10 times a night and downstairs ready at 5:30am.

NEED COFFEE
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:23, Reply)
My one has started sleeping loads, she didn't wake until 8am on Sunday which is some kind of miracle

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:27, Reply)
GIVE ME MY FUCKING SLEEP BACK!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:27, Reply)
have you tried drugging them?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:28, Reply)
*makes notes*
*decides to keep drugs for personal use*
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:29, Reply)
^^this
Piriton can work wonders, or brandy in milk for the more alcoholic child.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:31, Reply)
do you have children lokesy?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:34, Reply)
In the basement.....

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:34, Reply)
Little Iberico and Serrano

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:34, Reply)
tastiest of all the children

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:36, Reply)
Yup
and shares in the company that makes Calpol, or at least it seems like it at times.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:35, Reply)
i can''t believe you managed to get a bun in the oven

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:36, Reply)
Very good *sigh*
You must have located the correct socket once
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:38, Reply)
proves his wife had sex, thats all

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:43, Reply)
he might have chucked his bread sauce up her?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:43, Reply)
If his harry looks like bread sauce he needs to go to the doctors.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:46, Reply)
*something about cumming once a year*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:47, Reply)
Harry? Bread sauce? WTF?
Say spunk, man. SPUNK!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:49, Reply)
Gentleman's relish.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:50, Reply)
The old jizzerooney.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:53, Reply)
babybatter

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 10:00, Reply)
Bebbeh greveh!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 10:06, Reply)
Calpol - understood by parents only

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:37, Reply)
And that guy from qotw who got off his box on it once.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:53, Reply)
really?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:54, Reply)
He must have injected it directly into his heart!!!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:55, Reply)
If search was working I might be able to find it.
But it is a classic qotw drugs lies tale.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 10:08, Reply)
so does Phenergan, by the way.
excellent sedative.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:38, Reply)
Indeed, but chemist won't give the liquid version any more.
and not at all if for kids.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 10:07, Reply)
haha
this means your mrs is going to start haranguing you for number two...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:39, Reply)
I am already being forced to discuss this subject.
Not sure I want another one.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:39, Reply)
We both decided that two was enough
MORE THAN ENOUGH
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:40, Reply)
I think one may be enough.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:40, Reply)
My two are at the "fight like cat and dog" phase
I understand this lasts approx 18 years
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:44, Reply)
The problem with only having one is that you are the sole source of entertainment for them.
Give them a sibling and they'll entertain one another a lot of the time.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:50, Reply)

entertain assault
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:51, Reply)
If I didn't see it, they can sort it out amongst themselves.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:53, Reply)
yeah but didn't you name one Princess Leia from star wars?

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:41, Reply)
Jabba more like!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:43, Reply)
Hutt your face!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:43, Reply)
You are too easily influenced by Mas Amedda

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:45, Reply)
I had to google that

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:46, Reply)
I am not surprised. A bit obscure.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:48, Reply)
Can't afford another wedding?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:47, Reply)
The first wedding didn't cost me.
At least I won't have a problem getting my Mrs pregnant, unlike some people eh Al?

Tell me, was it difficult to knock one out when there are medical staff walking past the tugging room?
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:49, Reply)
Depends how much you like nurses I guess

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:50, Reply)
Your wife was very accomodating.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:50, Reply)
lols at tugging room

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:52, Reply)
No haranguing, I'd love another.
Mrs Ape wants three, I said lets see what it's like with two...
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:42, Reply)
Fuck that.
Sporto is right - two is definitely enough.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:51, Reply)
this^
3 way fights are harder to control than 2 way
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:52, Reply)
I get a tazer

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:53, Reply)
This is an excellent plan

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:54, Reply)
But if you don't have 3 kids I can't have a 4 way!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:54, Reply)
The dog will suffice again

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:54, Reply)
Oi!
That's my Mrs you're talking about.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:56, Reply)
Lookin' ruff

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:56, Reply)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:55, Reply)
I think two will be enough, hoping for a boy then we'll have one of each

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:53, Reply)
If the next one is another girl, will you keep trying until you get a boy?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:55, Reply)
I dunno, that's why i want the next to be a boy
then the argument of having both has gone
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 10:01, Reply)
His mrs hasn't been allowed to have a shit for almost a year?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:45, Reply)
With Apey and Baby Ape there is more than enough shit in the house

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:46, Reply)
I was going to go with the scheisse-porn angle
but this more innocent approach has touched my black withered heart.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 10:01, Reply)

heart penis
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 10:10, Reply)
textbook.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 10:19, Reply)

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