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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Enough of that.
I've been reading about a serbian tourist attraction based on a yeti that is supposed to stalk the land around a ski resort. Sounds like a desperate attempt to drum up tourism. What would you do to bring people to your area?

Alt: what would you do to keep undesirables away?

Altalt: talk amongst yourselves.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:14, 217 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I'd probably go back in time and commision the building of important buildings, monuments, museums and stuff
alt: explosive collars

altalt: hello?
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:17, Reply)
alright nakers.
How's it going?
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:18, Reply)
stressed, lots gone wrong, lots of work to do etc etc etc
you?
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:20, Reply)
The high pressure world of telemarketing.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:26, Reply)
Have i been promoted from paper boy?

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:26, Reply)
Yes but with no payrise.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:30, Reply)
Comission/

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:33, Reply)
The worst of all the remunerations.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:36, Reply)
My milkshakes bring tourists to the yard.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:21, Reply)
But seriously, I cannot see anyone wanting to come
to South London for the sights. Although we do have Eltham Palace and some caves somewhere. And the Artillery depot in Woolwich and Shooters Hill. But that's it.

Alt: Move away.

Alt alt: What's this shit about coming out of Yurp but still letting all the thieving gypsy bastards from E Yurp still come and take our jobs?
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:25, Reply)
Alt alt: Daily Mail overreaction as usual.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:29, Reply)
I did read it directly from the Fail.
Word for word except they spelt Europe correctly.

I for one welcome new nationalities of sex worker. Our fine British penises aren't going to suck themselves.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:33, Reply)
Not without rib surgery

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:00, Reply)
What about the Horniman Museum ? Reputed to be excellent
However cos it is in the fucking sticks I have yet to go.

Plus IT SOUNDS A BIT RUDE!!!!!
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:06, Reply)
Nothing, we've already got enough.
Alt: Carpet bomb the council estates.

AltAlt: Afternoon.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:25, Reply)
Dunno, more roundabouts or sometihng.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:25, Reply)
Spoken like a true Milton Keynsian.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:26, Reply)
This is why he's always trying to pump more money into the local economy

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:28, Reply)

money spunk local economy your mum
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:30, Reply)
Firstly try to stop them from fucking up what little decent bits we have left.
Like this: www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/coventry-news/2013/01/25/tv-historian-jonathan-foyle-hits-out-at-coventry-student-flats-plan-92746-32674339/

Then actually make more of the nice bits, instead of leaving them to rot as we build more shit bits in front of them.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:28, Reply)
I'd highlight the excellent public transport, the delightful vibrant pubs and the fantastic local shopping opportunities*
Alt: Tell them I live here.

Altalt: Anyone know why Tanglewood Infinity strings have been discontinued?

* Semi-rural crap transport and shit local amenities irony lols.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:29, Reply)
it's no wonder i hardly ever come here anymore

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:31, Reply)
I'd staff my local pub with a bad tempered manager
with a glorious, glossy mane akin to that of a pedigree Afghan hound.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:31, Reply)
Sexy.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:32, Reply)
Wassgoinon?

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:32, Reply)
Winders looks like a ginger Cavalier.
He and Monty ought to join up and go on swashbuckling adventures in the service of the King of France.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:34, Reply)
Monty would never scrape together the money for the ferry.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:35, Reply)
He can be Poorthos.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:40, Reply)
textbook

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:41, Reply)
His aromas is fucking terrible

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:53, Reply)
and he's been dog-strangled.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:56, Reply)
I always imagine him to havea shaved head and beard

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:35, Reply)
that was my best friend Two hats.
I miss him.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:06, Reply)
You aren't the King of France and Monty will not service you

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:35, Reply)
+ for less than a fiver

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:36, Reply)
where's this picture of winders? I've not seen it.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:49, Reply)

image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/gallery/2001/11/08/cavalier.jpg
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:50, Reply)
Is that not Al?

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:53, Reply)
al was that fat oval picture

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:57, Reply)
meh

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:58, Reply)

images3.pups4sale.com.au//joomla/assets/images/breeders/cavalier_kcs_01a.jpg
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:09, Reply)
Looks like my dog

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:09, Reply)
do you let windy up on the sofa?

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:17, Reply)
I'm not bad tempered, I'm lovely.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:49, Reply)
You've been blobbing or something the last couple of weeks.
You're getting as bad as B3th.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:50, Reply)
it's been pretty stressful the last couple of weeks,
I'll make sure my happy winning side comes through more.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:03, Reply)
Afternoon all
I have been servicing b3th to a happy finish
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:47, Reply)
You poor, poor man.
Servicing the steampunk.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:49, Reply)
Her wankel engine is running a treat now

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:49, Reply)
They use a lot of oil though

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:51, Reply)
Dry as a witches tit

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:51, Reply)
Elle est maintenant plus humide que la poche d'un loutre.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:56, Reply)
Do dremel make attachments that big?

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:50, Reply)
Not available in shops

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:50, Reply)
try
www.sandiegosextoys.com
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:51, Reply)
hmmm
At work and want to be tomorrow so I'll give that link a miss
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:52, Reply)
It's not a website it's a joke with a "film" reference
it's very witty
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:54, Reply)
Needs MOAR rain

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:54, Reply)
why?

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:54, Reply)
I dunno
'cos its dry
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:55, Reply)
That domain name is for sale, if you want it.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:55, Reply)
it's a good name
but i don't think anyone got my joke :(
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:56, Reply)
I certainly didn't.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:57, Reply)
Seconding this

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:57, Reply)

"Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina"
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:59, Reply)
Nope, still nothing.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:59, Reply)
You are as thick as a whale's labia

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:00, Reply)
and twice as blubbery

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:01, Reply)

thick SEXAY
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:01, Reply)
Anchor man quote
so if San Diego mean whale's vagina, then www.sandiegodextoys.com would be a website selling giant adult toys for Cetaceas which would also be perfect for B3ff.

ffs
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:01, Reply)
Anchorman is SHIT
Hope this helps
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:01, Reply)
YOURN SHIT

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:02, Reply)
I know
but Anchorman is still shit
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:04, Reply)
YOURN SHITTER
no returns
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:06, Reply)
Never seen it.
Looks shit.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:03, Reply)
Will Ferrell is the least funny cunt since that Owen Wilson cunt drew breath.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:06, Reply)
I don't know who any of these people are.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:07, Reply)
It's because you don't own a television.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:21, Reply)
I do own one, I just choose not to watch it.
Also, can you change your sig so I get a better Stevie song in my head than this one?
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:26, Reply)
Hahaha. One of his worst songs.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:38, Reply)
this^
Proper smug cunt too
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:07, Reply)
I agree on the whole
but i quite like Anchor man
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:07, Reply)
Time to take your kit back to the plant hire shop then

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:50, Reply)
*something something plumb center*

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:51, Reply)
saloons with liquor and whores
For that is how we got the name Helltown
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:53, Reply)
Sounds like a fucking GREAT town!

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:54, Reply)
not any more, they don't even have any bars :(

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:55, Reply)
What the
How did
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:56, Reply)
He'z in ur laptop
Watchin u not drink
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:57, Reply)
Because you have to have your birthday party in the church hall

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:57, Reply)
is god invited, or is he going to have to stay in his room all night?

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:05, Reply)
he'll be in the basement peering up girls skirts

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:06, Reply)
He can fuck off - I got here first.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:07, Reply)
can you see through floorboards?
if not you'll just have to get god to give you an audio description
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:09, Reply)
"looks like a burst badger"

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:12, Reply)
"smells like 'San Diego' " lol

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:12, Reply)
AHAHAHAHAHAAA just like in that film that I haven't seen.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:13, Reply)
that's the one
YOURN WELCOME
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:13, Reply)
"looks like a bulldog eating custard"

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)
"looks like a clam with an infection"

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:16, Reply)
id burn when I walked through the door

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:18, Reply)
It's because people kept dying after passing out drunk in them and no one knew how to place them in the recovery position.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:56, Reply)
everything happens for a reason right

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:10, Reply)
Isn't is strange after yesterdays new story.
About the french managing to take Timbuktu without a shot fired, and being greeted as heros by the population. That Dav-Cam thinks it's a good idea to send 400 troop there.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:53, Reply)
cynic

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:54, Reply)
Thay don't like it up 'em.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:58, Reply)
I'd threaten them with a gun until they came

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:04, Reply)
Dangerwanking at a new level

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:04, Reply)
Penfold's ill advised spin off show

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:07, Reply)
Crumbs!

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:09, Reply)
that's what happens when you wnak 20 times a day

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:10, Reply)
You are such a wnaker.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:11, Reply)
shut it 'wee wee tapir head'

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:13, Reply)
Oh man there's no comeback to that :o(

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:15, Reply)
wnaking is my fvaourite tihng

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:11, Reply)
Annie's controversial follow up single

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)
Thanks "Baron Creamback"

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:11, Reply)
I really don't need to do anything. The cunts flood in night and day.
Alt: Tell them it's no longer 'cool' round here and everyone who knows ANYTHING hangs out in Romford these days. And that London Fields is radioactive or something. In truth I don't mind the cunts that much - their money has improved the area tenfold. Plus I can remember what it used to be like and it was much worse in many, many ways.

Much as I don't like trilbies and fixed wheel bikes I prefer them to armed and angry darkies.
#edgy

Altalt: Hi Monty! Hi there Monts. How are you Monty? Shit, Monters old stick etc.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:10, Reply)
Kroney thinks I'm bad tempered. tell him I'm lovely.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:11, Reply)
you can be a little short sometimes...

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:13, Reply)
I didn't realise.
I don't mean to be cross, I think you're all aces.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)
taht's ok, i forgive you

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:17, Reply)
Your mum is a 'taht'.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:19, Reply)
A fackin slaaaayyg

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:19, Reply)
she does do my nut in

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:20, Reply)
To this day

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:22, Reply)
You're mixing him up with old Battered here, I think

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:15, Reply)
"Grumpy"

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:16, Reply)
I was gonna say that.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:16, Reply)
Not so much of the 'old' thank you Worzel.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:18, Reply)
He hasn't got a brand new anything?

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:19, Reply)
Not even a combine harvester :o(

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:19, Reply)
The key is not spending all your moneys on MDs and LPs

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:20, Reply)
Soz granpaw

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:19, Reply)
I shall indeed.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:13, Reply)
Build a massive titted woman on a hill
Alt:
Hadrian's Wall

AltAlt:
Coffee anyone?
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:17, Reply)
Altalt: capital idea

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:20, Reply)
Fuck yeah
That is a good coffee
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:28, Reply)
Oh man,
We've all gone and upset Kristine. This is not cool people.

I for one would like to apologise to our favourite American B3tan and hope that you will all follow suite and do the same.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:18, Reply)
Near the top

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:20, Reply)
what's wrong with her?

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:21, Reply)
She's upset with us.
And I don't like the thought of her being upset.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:22, Reply)
Looks like you might need the recovery position.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:22, Reply)
really?
I don't believe you.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:24, Reply)
Would you believe me if you lay on your front
with one arm by your side and the other at 90 degrees to your body with the elbow bent at a right angle and the corresponding leg drawn up so the knee is level with your waist?
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:25, Reply)
Y'see I think this post makes your apology seem insincere, because you are clearly trying to teach her how to put someone in the recovery position.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:28, Reply)
What the!!!! I don't even!!!!!

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:29, Reply)
There is even the hint of a suggestion that you think it might be her fault that two members of her family have died, most likely through ignorance of the recovery position.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:31, Reply)
Now you are just being ridiculous.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:32, Reply)
It really is impossible to sound sincere on the internet.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:33, Reply)
there, there, no it's not

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:34, Reply)

believe love
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:28, Reply)
Has that miserable Yank gone and deleted a subthread?
I hate it when people do that. It's worse than rape.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:34, Reply)
Oh wait, no.
I was looking in the wrong thread.

Soz, K, you're alright by me. Not like that constantly angry Winders.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:35, Reply)
tbf 2 of her family died due to their lack of first aid knowledge and Al has been takoing the piss
which is pretty hurtful
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:35, Reply)
It's the waste that I find terribly sad.
All for want of 5 minutes spent learning how to put someone in the recovery position.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:37, Reply)
Why am I getting blamed for taking the piss?
It was tangles who actually replied to her saying that her relatives would be alive if they knew what the recovery position was.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:37, Reply)
Your reputation precedes you.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:40, Reply)
BRB, I want some Wine Gums.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:39, Reply)
Chew them carefully, you don't want to choke.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:39, Reply)
Tell me Al, what would be the best course of action to take if he was choking on his wine gums?

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:41, Reply)
Cheese

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:43, Reply)
Don't worry, my co-workers have been taught about the recovery position.
70p out of the vending machine, Al. I feel violated.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:41, Reply)
Same here
70 fucking p for a Boost?!

*shakes head*
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:42, Reply)
It's like a tax on fat people or summat.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:42, Reply)
I am forced into eating ASDA Smart Price Strawberry Flavoured Cranberry Muesli Bars
*sobs*
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:44, Reply)
I paid a pound for a kit kat chunky at the station last week.
I felt like I'd been raped. Actually physically RAPED. By a vending machine.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:43, Reply)
It was hilarious.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:43, Reply)
Aero would have provided the ribbing

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:44, Reply)
*something about a careless wispa*

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)
snickers on backwards

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:52, Reply)
Have you had any of the new flavoured ones?

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:45, Reply)
they're all shit

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:45, Reply)
I've not tried them
But I reckon you're right.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:46, Reply)
I wish people would shut the fuck up about them, and the new cadburys.
WHO FUCKING CARES!
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:46, Reply)
Fat people?

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:47, Reply)
Seems to be girls that aren't getting enough cock for the most part

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)
Stunned gets plenty of cock though.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)
Yeah, loads.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:49, Reply)
They should dress more provocatively to entice the rapists

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:49, Reply)
Therapists?

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:50, Reply)
Whoa! Who has been going on about them?
Some one said Kit Kat I said - Coconut
- Mint
- Choc Fudge
- Hazelnut

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I'm fucking mad about Kit Kats.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:49, Reply)
I've never seen them in the shops around here
and let me tell you I've looked in literally no places at all
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:53, Reply)
You just got raped.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:42, Reply)
i hope this is in context

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:43, Reply)
It's not rape if it's contextual.
Or something.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:46, Reply)
I've only got about 30 pence worth left now, too.
I've totally just been raped.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:46, Reply)
it's not rape if you accidentally enjoy it

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:47, Reply)
Someone start a new thread please.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:50, Reply)
this one didn't go quite as I hoped.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:51, Reply)
Your thread got totally raped.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:52, Reply)
I really didn't mean to upset K,
Maybe I should be more calm.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:52, Reply)
Maybe if he'd been in a better mood...

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:52, Reply)
can it be about lolrape?

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:51, Reply)
If you like.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:52, Reply)
The funniest of all the rapes.

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:52, Reply)
maybe we should start with child lmaolestation

(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:54, Reply)
mine is better than stunned
just saying, like
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:53, Reply)

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