Off Topic
Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
What's the celebrity you'd most like to see naked?
Alt: smoked or unsmoked bacon?
AltAlt: recommend something new you've experienced recently.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:14, 177 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Alt: smoked or unsmoked bacon?
AltAlt: recommend something new you've experienced recently.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:14, 177 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Mayim Bialik
Alt: everything is better smoked.
AltALt: sleeping pills, it's amazing how much difference a good nights sleep can make.;
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:16, Reply)
Alt: everything is better smoked.
AltALt: sleeping pills, it's amazing how much difference a good nights sleep can make.;
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:16, Reply)
what chin?
I have a perfectly normal chin, maybe a little on the weak side but the beard covers it.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:21, Reply)
I have a perfectly normal chin, maybe a little on the weak side but the beard covers it.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:21, Reply)
As I have little awareness of most television programmes of the last 10+ years or so
I can only assume that you are referring to the hit show Blossom.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:28, Reply)
I can only assume that you are referring to the hit show Blossom.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:28, Reply)
I am going to have to disagree with you CQ,
her face is all long and weird. Like some sort of stretched out witch from an old cartoon.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)
her face is all long and weird. Like some sort of stretched out witch from an old cartoon.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)
She's in Big Bang at the moment.
Even allowing for purposeful frumping, she's not attractive.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:26, Reply)
Even allowing for purposeful frumping, she's not attractive.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:26, Reply)
yeah, because I spend sooo much time being serious.
jesus you're a bunch of tards today.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:33, Reply)
jesus you're a bunch of tards today.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:33, Reply)
never claim it was great, but at least I have one
the most interesting things about you are all made up.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:43, Reply)
the most interesting things about you are all made up.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:43, Reply)
Are we really due for another Quixote/Kroney fight?
Doesn't seem that long since the last one.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:44, Reply)
Doesn't seem that long since the last one.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:44, Reply)
there was a fight?
I remember a bit of bitching but not any actual fight. once in a while he makes a dig for some reason, once in a while I dig back, can't see either of us caring enough for it to be more serious, although I'm only speaking for myself here.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:49, Reply)
I remember a bit of bitching but not any actual fight. once in a while he makes a dig for some reason, once in a while I dig back, can't see either of us caring enough for it to be more serious, although I'm only speaking for myself here.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:49, Reply)
yeah, the longer I spend on here the worse it gets
I had to call ringoffire a cunt yesterday, it's on;t so long before me and AB become besties.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:37, Reply)
I had to call ringoffire a cunt yesterday, it's on;t so long before me and AB become besties.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:37, Reply)
Altalt: One for Monty (although he probably already has this page bookmarked):
en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Red_Dwarf
SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:20, Reply)
en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Red_Dwarf
SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:20, Reply)
Ronnie Ancona
Alt: SMoked
Altalt: It's not really a recent discovery, as I've had the dogs a year now, but i can no stop singing the praises of a nice long stroll in the morning. Get up, go for a wander, have a bit of breakfast, then off to work. Always sets me up for the day, and the days i don't take the dogs out if i have an early start or a meeting aren't half as good.
Morning everyone.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:20, Reply)
Alt: SMoked
Altalt: It's not really a recent discovery, as I've had the dogs a year now, but i can no stop singing the praises of a nice long stroll in the morning. Get up, go for a wander, have a bit of breakfast, then off to work. Always sets me up for the day, and the days i don't take the dogs out if i have an early start or a meeting aren't half as good.
Morning everyone.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:20, Reply)
Yep. Great isn't it.
Nothing to stop the females commenting on celebrity blokes though.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:26, Reply)
Nothing to stop the females commenting on celebrity blokes though.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:26, Reply)
Other than the complete absence of any females on here at this juncture.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:27, Reply)
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:27, Reply)
It's just a bit annoying as I'll have to google image search most of them.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:29, Reply)
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:29, Reply)
you could just use your imagination, and think of the sort of girl that each of the posters would find attractive,.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:34, Reply)
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:34, Reply)
Despite being a massive fan of smoked food in general, I'm not particularly bothered whether bacon is or not.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:24, Reply)
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:24, Reply)
If you insist on asking perhaps the most utterly dull question ever asked in b3ta history
it's a bit fucking ripe to get all sarky when someone answers it, wouldn't you say?
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:28, Reply)
it's a bit fucking ripe to get all sarky when someone answers it, wouldn't you say?
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:28, Reply)
Whereas the question in your last thread was so fucking brilliant eh?
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:29, Reply)
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:29, Reply)
It wasn't my best,
but at least I didn't start frothing at the bumhole when people replied to it.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:31, Reply)
but at least I didn't start frothing at the bumhole when people replied to it.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:31, Reply)
i am leaking snot like some sort of ace snail.
it's properly grim.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:49, Reply)
it's properly grim.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:49, Reply)
Stacey dash or Sarah Blackwood
Smoked.
Alt, the walking dead video game/interactive movie.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:27, Reply)
Smoked.
Alt, the walking dead video game/interactive movie.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:27, Reply)
Sort it out for Bristol, will you, Boyce?
You've got connections.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:51, Reply)
You've got connections.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:51, Reply)
Really? Even I'd need two to turn up at some random prick's birthday
and pretend I liked them.
However, for a grand I will turn up, drink all your booze, vomit in a hedge and fuck your sister/mum depending on age and/or availability.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:32, Reply)
and pretend I liked them.
However, for a grand I will turn up, drink all your booze, vomit in a hedge and fuck your sister/mum depending on age and/or availability.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:32, Reply)
So there was never any chance of you turning up to Monty & Stunned's birthday bash?
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:34, Reply)
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:34, Reply)
Rihanna
Sian Williams. Kym Valentine. Fiona Bruce. Ronni Ancona. Nigella Lawson. Denise Fox off Eastenders.
I like brunettes.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:29, Reply)
Sian Williams. Kym Valentine. Fiona Bruce. Ronni Ancona. Nigella Lawson. Denise Fox off Eastenders.
I like brunettes.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:29, Reply)
Sooty
Alt: neither. Bacon is overrated.
Alt alt: getting a full night's sleep.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:30, Reply)
Alt: neither. Bacon is overrated.
Alt alt: getting a full night's sleep.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:30, Reply)
Any Female celebrity between 15 1/2 and 50, I'm not fussy.
Alt: Smoked as part of a fry up or sammich. Unsmoked when used as an ingredient with other foods.
Altalt: Spamalot. I haven't laughed so hard since I saw a cat being run over.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:32, Reply)
Alt: Smoked as part of a fry up or sammich. Unsmoked when used as an ingredient with other foods.
Altalt: Spamalot. I haven't laughed so hard since I saw a cat being run over.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:32, Reply)
As someone with a fifteen year old granddaughter
I am both appalled and disgusted by that.
No, the oher one. Aroused.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:37, Reply)
I am both appalled and disgusted by that.
No, the oher one. Aroused.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:37, Reply)
It's a totally different word!
Anyway, it just took me longer because I was calling the paedo line to report him.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:35, Reply)
Anyway, it just took me longer because I was calling the paedo line to report him.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:35, Reply)
Ah. That'll be why the line was engaged when I just tried to call.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:36, Reply)
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:36, Reply)
So... *does some sums*
If you're 56 and you want to look at pictures of barely legal and, in fact, illegal, girls...
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:46, Reply)
If you're 56 and you want to look at pictures of barely legal and, in fact, illegal, girls...
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:46, Reply)
I'm learning from this thread
that b3tans have awful taste in women.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:34, Reply)
that b3tans have awful taste in women.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:34, Reply)
Twenty years ago
I thought she was a bit bland. Time may have been kind, but it's not a fucking wizard.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:36, Reply)
I thought she was a bit bland. Time may have been kind, but it's not a fucking wizard.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:36, Reply)
Minnie Driver. Always Minnie Driver.
Alt: Unsmoked. Smoked tastes saltier.
Alt alt: Salmon fajitas.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:37, Reply)
Alt: Unsmoked. Smoked tastes saltier.
Alt alt: Salmon fajitas.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:37, Reply)
'Lorry driver' more like.
Her masculine jawline freaks my nut out.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:40, Reply)
Her masculine jawline freaks my nut out.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:40, Reply)
He'd look at Susan Boyle naked onscreen for the lols, for example
but would likely never want the live show.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:42, Reply)
but would likely never want the live show.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:42, Reply)
What's funny about seeing a fat old Scottish bird naked?
I see that every day and it just makes me sad.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:49, Reply)
I see that every day and it just makes me sad.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:49, Reply)
You'd have to consider it from the perspective of somebody
cruel, small-minded and of average attractiveness. I, for example, would find it hilarious.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:51, Reply)
cruel, small-minded and of average attractiveness. I, for example, would find it hilarious.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:51, Reply)
Because there are people I've already seen naked on screen that I'd like to see naked in real life.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:45, Reply)
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:45, Reply)
I would cut my own cock off for one night with Natalie Portman.
Which would lend an air of ironic tragedy to the event. Something I am well familiar with, sex-wise.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:40, Reply)
Which would lend an air of ironic tragedy to the event. Something I am well familiar with, sex-wise.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:40, Reply)
OK I've arranged it all for you.
Just cut your cock off and then tomorrow night she's all yours.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:42, Reply)
Just cut your cock off and then tomorrow night she's all yours.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:42, Reply)
One of the managers from our local cineworld looks like Natalie portman.
I actually did a double take when I saw her.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:45, Reply)
I actually did a double take when I saw her.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:45, Reply)
You lucky, lucky bastard.
If I had a Natalie Portman look-a-like working near me, I would be stalking the fuck out of that shit.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:50, Reply)
If I had a Natalie Portman look-a-like working near me, I would be stalking the fuck out of that shit.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:50, Reply)
She works on a tuesday, that's all I know.
I didn't even manage to read her name badge.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:51, Reply)
I didn't even manage to read her name badge.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:51, Reply)
I think you and I should suggest ways Kroney can get it on with the cineworld manager.
I think he should come to watch a film, and try to get a refund on one of his two tickets and say it's because his supermodel fiance has just died in a car crash.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:03, Reply)
I think he should come to watch a film, and try to get a refund on one of his two tickets and say it's because his supermodel fiance has just died in a car crash.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:03, Reply)
Can I not just offer to buy her a slush puppy and one of those suggestive hot dogs they have?
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:08, Reply)
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:08, Reply)
she gets staff discount kroney, she don't need your dollar
think t through, mate
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:09, Reply)
think t through, mate
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:09, Reply)
Haha sorry Quints, thank God you're around to talk me out of these stupid ideas.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:11, Reply)
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:11, Reply)
What's the one where Portman plays a lap dancer?
I could go in a skintight silver onesie and a pink wig
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:13, Reply)
I could go in a skintight silver onesie and a pink wig
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:13, Reply)
Get your big-nosed friend to write her poems and love letters on your behalf.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:15, Reply)
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:15, Reply)
Or since he's french,
he should turn up in a vest with a plant and ask her if she wants to avenge the death of her little brother.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:06, Reply)
he should turn up in a vest with a plant and ask her if she wants to avenge the death of her little brother.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:06, Reply)
Have you seen the director's cut of that film
Holy shit, it gets about ten times more creepy.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:09, Reply)
Holy shit, it gets about ten times more creepy.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:09, Reply)
Leon?
I haven't seen that film in years, does jean thingy shag porters in the shitpipes?
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:10, Reply)
I haven't seen that film in years, does jean thingy shag porters in the shitpipes?
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:10, Reply)
neither. I don't like bacon.
the Phyre^2 software that generates 3d images of proteins is pretty cool.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:49, Reply)
the Phyre^2 software that generates 3d images of proteins is pretty cool.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:49, Reply)
do b3tans count as celebrities?
Unsmoked, any smoked bacon I've tried has an artificialness to it
Looking down kayleigh's top
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:51, Reply)
Unsmoked, any smoked bacon I've tried has an artificialness to it
Looking down kayleigh's top
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:51, Reply)
everyone, all piled together in a sexy, writhing mass of pale sweaty flesh
All moaning and dangling over each other, tongues, bums, willes and foofs everywhere
I expect gonz would wear cavy like a party hat
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:55, Reply)
All moaning and dangling over each other, tongues, bums, willes and foofs everywhere
I expect gonz would wear cavy like a party hat
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:55, Reply)
This is almost as sick as Bartleby admitting to liking underage girls.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:56, Reply)
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:56, Reply)
you mean there aren't any underage female b3tans?
fuck that, i've been wasting my time here for far too long
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:00, Reply)
fuck that, i've been wasting my time here for far too long
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:00, Reply)
people who use uppercase Qs when addressing me make me sick anyway
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:03, Reply)
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:03, Reply)
you never know
you'll wake up one night in a cold sweat from a nightmare you can't remember, but deep down, you'll know why
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:14, Reply)
you'll wake up one night in a cold sweat from a nightmare you can't remember, but deep down, you'll know why
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:14, Reply)
Good news everybody, I might actually kill myself
i need an automatic weapon though as it needs to be murder suicide.
thx
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:55, Reply)
i need an automatic weapon though as it needs to be murder suicide.
thx
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:55, Reply)
Anything I could do to expedite matters?
Seriously, you're about to find out just how helpful I can be.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:56, Reply)
Seriously, you're about to find out just how helpful I can be.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:56, Reply)
I think we could raise a fuck of a lot of money through a raffle for the pleasure of helping him die painfully.
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:58, Reply)
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:58, Reply)
shut up nakers, everyone knows that shit's not cool anymore
It's death by cop or nothing these days
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:57, Reply)
It's death by cop or nothing these days
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:57, Reply)
Yaaaaaay
*waves arms about*
www.guardian.co.uk/film/2013/jan/31/muppets-again-ricky-gervais
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:57, Reply)
*waves arms about*
www.guardian.co.uk/film/2013/jan/31/muppets-again-ricky-gervais
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:57, Reply)
won't be watching that.
It has two-dimensional, comedy-by-numbers, unrealistic childish characters.
And the Muppets
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:00, Reply)
It has two-dimensional, comedy-by-numbers, unrealistic childish characters.
And the Muppets
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:00, Reply)
the thing with him is, he clearly has ADHD or something
so as soon as he has a little bit of attention he gets a bit up himself and has acted like a dick ever since.
what i don't think he realises is that people stopped watching years ago, which is kind of sad really
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:18, Reply)
so as soon as he has a little bit of attention he gets a bit up himself and has acted like a dick ever since.
what i don't think he realises is that people stopped watching years ago, which is kind of sad really
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:18, Reply)
He is just SMUG on legs
I fucking hate him
I refused to watch An Idiot Abroad for about 3 months until I was assured he was only in it for 2 mins
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:20, Reply)
I fucking hate him
I refused to watch An Idiot Abroad for about 3 months until I was assured he was only in it for 2 mins
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:20, Reply)
Gervais has only ever said one amusing thing.
When presenting some award ceremony:
'Now I like a drink as much as the next person, unless that person is Mel Gibson'
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:22, Reply)
When presenting some award ceremony:
'Now I like a drink as much as the next person, unless that person is Mel Gibson'
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:22, Reply)
"Now i hate the jews as much as the next person, unless that person is Mel Gibson"
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:25, Reply)
( , Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:25, Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »