Best insult you've heard?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:20, 115 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Worse than nakkers

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:21, Reply)

I know, but the other thread had died and this was the only question I could think of.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:22, Reply)

I meant that was the worst insult possible in the english language.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:23, Reply)

Ttj

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:24, Reply)

Near the Top.
Someone who wasn't upset, just TTT called me 'Onerous Fadger' once or twice. And I was epically zinged once by Legless saying 'yeah, well so do you'.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 19:12, Reply)

I don't know how you cope with such abuse.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 19:14, Reply)

"Go and take your face for a shit"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:22, Reply)

When you was born the doctor slapped your mum.

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:24, Reply)

Looks like someone set fire to your face and put it out with a hammer

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:25, Reply)

or shovel, battery acid, etc

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:28, Reply)

Face like a zookeeper's boot

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:29, Reply)

Or a welder's bench

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:31, Reply)

Burglar's dog

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:31, Reply)

that chases parked cars

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:35, Reply)

Bulldog licking piss off a stinging nettle.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:38, Reply)

And chewing a wasp

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:40, Reply)

More of an insult to the English language.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:25, Reply)

How insulting

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:33, Reply)

I'm not sure this works.
My face always comes with me when I go for a shit.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:25, Reply)

Thanks Hannibal

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:26, Reply)

I do love it when a plan comes together.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:27, Reply)

plan yurt
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:27, Reply)

Wee wee tapir.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:24, Reply)

lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:24, Reply)

YES

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:48, Reply)

"Tha's too foul to make a warty arsehole outa"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:25, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1852659
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:27, Reply)

When God said brains, you though he said trains
So you asked for a small, slow one
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:27, Reply)

This shows a misunderstanding, not only of human evolution, but also of the book of Genesis in the Bible.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:28, Reply)

*consults abacab*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:29, Reply)

Thicker than a whale omelette

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:29, Reply)

how does this make sense?
whales don't lay eggs!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:32, Reply)

whale dog egg

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:32, Reply)

One of my favourites is 'if she took her clothes off she'd need ironing'.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:29, Reply)

hahaha!
Liking this one
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:30, Reply)

Not saying she's fat but she has an eating problem
Two hands and one mouth
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:31, Reply)

When she split up with her boyfriend he told her 'I'll never get over you. I'll have to get up and go round'.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:35, Reply)

this one never gets old
bloodybollockyselfishtwofacedchickenbastardpigdogman
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:32, Reply)

there there

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:32, Reply)

For some reason "face like a bag of hammers" always makes me chuckle.
I realise you said "worst" not "funny", but whatever. You're short lol.
( Kroney, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:33, Reply)

We've recently started using the insult pretard
which is someone so thick they long to be retarded
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:33, Reply)

I forgot about that one
A girl at my school had the nick name "Bag of spanners"
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:34, Reply)

Better start the fatty ones off I guess
YM is so fat each buttock has a different postcode.

You have to roll her in flour and look for wet bits
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:33, Reply)

Hippocrocopig.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:33, Reply)

You're not doing it properly.
You've got to put a rude word in front of it. Like Faff Hippocrocapig.
( Kroney, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:36, Reply)

I don't like this game.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:39, Reply)

No it's
hippocrocadogopig
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:39, Reply)

where did you get the a from?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:44, Reply)

a dog?
gives the word a better rhythm I guess
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:47, Reply)

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:48, Reply)

but crocodile has an o and you don't say Croc O dile, they're not irish.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:49, Reply)

It can be hippocrocodogapig if you wish
sounds the same at speed anyway.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:52, Reply)

Your Mum's got so much clag, her gynaecologist has to be a potholer
is a personal favourite
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:35, Reply)

This is excellent.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:37, Reply)

I don't think I would be insulted by anything already said in this thread.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:36, Reply)

Hello Nakers
ZZZZZzzzing
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:36, Reply)

I fail to see why that sent you to sleep

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:48, Reply)

I've seen uglier people than you - but never with just the one head

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:38, Reply)

Or, take your pick from The Thick Of It / In The Loop
"You looked like a sweaty octopus trying to unhook a bra!"

"You're like the worst James Bond ever. You're... you're David fucking Niven"

"If you take the piss out of Jolson again, I'll take your fucking iPod and ram it down your fucking cock. And every time I don't like a song, which will be every time a fucking song comes on, I'll skip it by punching you in the fucking balls"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:38, Reply)

best malcolm tucker EVER
"you fucking human mooncup"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:39, Reply)

Hahaha eeeeeeewwwwwww
You know it's good to combine those two words
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:43, Reply)

n ever seen either of those.
and now I don't want to.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:43, Reply)

On here the one that still makes me giggle is............
Montyhole
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:43, Reply)

You smell like a grease fire on a wet dog
I like it because there's a bonus third bad smell of burning hair that's only implied.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:44, Reply)

you smell like a piss soaked tramps burnt corpse?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:46, Reply)

Or Boyce as he's otherwise known.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:48, Reply)

That immediately attached itselfto 'Losing My Religion' in my head.
Every whisper
Of every waking hour
I'm choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a piss soaked tramps burnt corpse
Oh no, I've said too much
I've said enough
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:53, Reply)

Yes. You have said enough.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:57, Reply)

This is significantly better than anything else that REM have ever been associated with
WHAT AN ACHIEVEMENT
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:03, Reply)

_{I like REM}
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:03, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1852565
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:06, Reply)

This is entirely feasible.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:07, Reply)

Best one-word insults?
I don't think you can top OED-unendorsed combinations. "Fucktard" is a magnificent word. As is "Flangemonkey"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:52, Reply)

gunt

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:54, Reply)

Or B3th as she prefers to be called.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:55, Reply)

Swampdonkey

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:57, Reply)

Is this art?
www.miltonkeynes.co.uk/news/local/hidden-cheque-at-mk-gallery-prompts-international-press-1-4752479
Also should I go check it out on the way home
(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:01, Reply)

I thought this would get more attention, it's interesting.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:18, Reply)

someone mistook me for Battered once

(quintsy, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:04, Reply)

Everyone remembers traumatic events from their childhood

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:06, Reply)

i wouldn't have minded so much, but he said i'd obviously gained weight and wasn't as tight as usual
:(
(quintsy, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:10, Reply)

Disgustedlol

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:12, Reply)

Your mum lost a ton of weight when they bought out cock flavoured slimfast.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:07, Reply)

It appears Darth is endorsing ambulance chasers now
accidentclaims.org/

Bottom right quote.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:08, Reply)

Officelol
The rest of the website looks legit. How odd.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:09, Reply)

Keep up.
I posted that last week.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:15, Reply)

Probably in the evening when I was out living it up and such

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:24, Reply)

Shut up.
Cavy liked it : (
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:29, Reply)

She likes anything with bumming in.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:29, Reply)

i don't get it

(quintsy, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:18, Reply)

Are you Skill?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:23, Reply)

I've forgotten what that means...

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:24, Reply)

It's as easy to remember as ABC.
You like your ABCs don't you.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:26, Reply)

Yeah they just slip straight off my tounge.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:28, Reply)

HAHAHAHA AFRICAN BUM CLEANER HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:32, Reply)

Olden.
Golden.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:34, Reply)

Have you ever seen a BMW?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:33, Reply)

What hand do you wipe your bum with?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:34, Reply)

What's the worst thing you can buy from a second hand shop?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:35, Reply)

Your mum.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:45, Reply)

bum poo willy face

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:51, Reply)

'you remind me of Battered'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 17:52, Reply)

+ but it could be worse; could be boyce, y'know, the catweazle druggy skint one.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 18:21, Reply)

i like the phrase
cock-hungry fuck slut. That with dotcom at the end used to take you to the WI website
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 18:22, Reply)

"You're worse than if Hitler and Stalin hatefucked Mrs. Mangel from Neighbours and had an army of deformed communist Hitlerbabies, you are."

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 18:33, Reply)

what did you do to deserve that?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 18:35, Reply)