Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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i LOL'd hard at badger bollocking gonz for his amazon intrusionwhat horrifically inaccurate spam do you get? i get a metric fucktonne of people offering to extend my cock length and two dumbasses in america giving my email address out instead of theirs. which was great fun when one of them signed me up for a 50+ dating website for black people in new york. i would have been a disappointment on many levels.
alt: words for monty to slip into his mediation. i am going for "**** is a drug-addled fuck monkey". anything more subtle?
altalt: lunch? i had a curried egg and cheese bagel. it was as good as it sounds.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:12,
134 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I don't get much spam tbh, certainly nothing lolworthyalt: i thought it was today...
altalt: sandwiches, ages ago
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:16,
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yes but what kind of sandwiches?it's so hard getting you to open up
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:17,
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NoI dont like tomato in a sandwich - too watery
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:24,
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I don't fucking care how happy they are(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:27,
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I've learned to ensure I am signed out of my amazon account before clicking any links on here.Alt: I don't think either party will be planning on mentioning the other's drug use. I think such meetings are not really about slagging one another off though.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:17,
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actuallysuch meetings are all about slagging the other party off - but appearing to do the opposite.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:20,
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There was a good joke on Sickipedia about this the other day"I got an e-mail offering me older women to fuck in my area.
Good luck with that, I'm 97!"
I just get the usual, viagra, cock length, Russian brides, etc
alt: "my major concern is if she can snap violently at me, she can do it to my daughter"
altalt: tomato&onion pasta
(, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:18, Reply)
I think they only send those emails to blokes with small cocks, who can't get it up and might be lonely enough to buy a Russian girl a passport.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:19,
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Basically they're target audience is Battered(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:21,
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alt: the smart money is on her not attending "due to her disability"which from what I remember is just being an eye-mong. Not sure how that prevents her from showing up, perhaps she couldn't find the door? And if so, how is she a suitable carer for a small child? It's a win-win in that sense.
altalt: You will be popular in the office this afternoon. I had a chicken, chorizo and chipotle sandwich, which was rather pleasant.
I am suggesting your guffs will set off poison gas detectors across London
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:19,
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i am always popular in the officeeggs or no eggs. girls do not guff. EVER.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:20,
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I reckon you guff like a ginsters pie taster(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:22,
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Do you think you'll get this into double figures today?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:25,
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Do you just allow the gas to build up, causing bloating then?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:23,
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This is entirely wrong. You might just need to get your hearing checked.There's a guy I know who lives down the road who in his advancing years is cursed with a) diminishing hearing and b) chronic flatulence. This makes for massive LOLs.
(, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:24, Reply)
Mrs Cow can crack granite with some of her farts(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:25,
Reply)
you're all wronggirls are delicate and gentle. if we ever were to guff, it would puff out like talcum powder and would smell just as sweet.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:28,
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The ex farted like the brass section of the London Philharmonic.with an occasional double bass flourish.
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Kroney, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:30,
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Her mum used to brag about her daughters' talents in this area.Rural Canadians. They have a sophisticated humour.
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Kroney, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:34,
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HORNylike a HORN
you know, in an ORCHESTRA
less arse, more credit
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:40,
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well, you'd know all about not getting it...(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:43,
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I'm sure the foulness of the fart is inversely proportional to the attractiveness of the girl.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:32,
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This makes me the most beautiful girl in the world(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:34,
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TheCowFormerlyKnownAsPrince(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:38,
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So if Tangles is correct and the hotter the girl, the nastier the guffYou've said you don't fart at all...
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Kroney, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:42,
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but he isn't correctnot now, not ever
we all know this
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:43,
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It is written on the internet, so it must be true.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:45,
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IMPROVE SALES PERFORMANCE WITH TRIGGER BASED SELLINGwas the last one I got, about 2 mins ago
Alt:
Tortoise
AltAlt:
Cheese savoury sandwiches. Why cheese savoury? Cheese without onion/mayo/etc is not sweet
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:20,
Reply)
I am eating something that Pret call "Prosciutto, tomato and basil on Artisan"Which means "ham salad baguette".
I don't get much spam. It's usually job stuff or house buying stuff. Everything else gets herded into my junk filter by Microsoft.
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Kroney, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:27,
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I used to get recipeweb in Dutch for some reasonI quite miss it now
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:27,
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I saw a deliovery truck today full of "Fiji Water" apparently it is artesan waterI don't understand how this is possible
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:28,
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you buy it don';t youall the way from Fiji?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:29,
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Are you sure this wasn't artesian?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:29,
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I didn't think you'd sink so low.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:33,
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Checking my spam foldersone account is entirely miracle diets and "your paypal/barclays/hsbc/natwest/lloyds account has been suspended", the other is truly disturbing sounding porn and pizza hut offers.
I don't get viagra or penis enlargement spam because I've never searched the internet for "erectile dysfunction" or "average penis length", unlike some.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:34,
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:35,
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:41,
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:42,
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I used to be the one that ran the catchment address for all email in our companyThe amount of shit that came in there was horrendous.
Alt: Factotum.
AltAlt: Home made shepherds pie.
That sounds vile.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:34,
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Cos I lived in That France for a few years, most of my email is in FroglanguageIt makes my inbox feel delightfully cosmopolitan.
alt: He should just make it so that the first letter of every sentence spells out PSYCHO SLAP HAPPY DRUG TWAT
altalt: Yes I had some, it was decidedly average.
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Theoban What of it, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:36,
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Don't you mean...COSMOPOLITAINE?ololololololololololololololololol
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Kroney, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:46,
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me no speak frencheseyou speakee english yes?
ou est le pub? pub? pub. Pub? La pub?
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Theoban What of it, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:49,
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i filter my inbox so i only get emails i actually wantit's only caused a problem once when a clients email went in my spam folder
(, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:37, Reply)
WTN(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:40,
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LOL(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:45,
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I wish you would all die and make this...?No, I can't get all of this.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:46,
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i'm sure you stole this from the guardianweren't they richard iii's last words?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:48,
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it didn't cause any problems really, she called and asked if i got her emaili checked my spam folder and there it was
....
(sigh)
(, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:41, Reply)
Come on qYou are better than this story
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:42,
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:44,
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you should go and hang yourself, to prove that you DO have a neckthat'd show him.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:46,
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Did you then take her on your speedboat, do a fuck ton of coke, fight off some pirates and then have sex all night and you were the best she'd ever had?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:43,
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Are you OK, Q?I feel like your fire has died. Are you depressed? Is everything alright at home?
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Kroney, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:44,
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i'm great thanks for asking kroney, i always knew you were my buddyjust not much to work with in this thread really is there
i might just keep drumming my fingers on my desk til something good happens
(, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:45, Reply)
don't blame the threadit's an excellent thread. a literary masterpiece of fireworks and zing.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:46,
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No. You stupid fat ginger northern tart, it's shit. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:48,
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it's what you make it, preciousssssssss one(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:49,
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This appears to be one ugly duckling that hasn't blossomed into a beautiful swan though.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:55,
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It should have been strangled at birth. Rather like Swipe.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:57,
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Your love for her is actually quite embarrassing (
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 14:59,
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What a thoroughly revolting suggestion. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 15:05,
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if you could reach you'd be pulling her ponytail(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 15:08,
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Richard IIIIn honour of the discovery of the late King, Milletts have announced a sale on all camping gear until the Spring.
A spokesperson said, 'Now is the winter of our discount tents!'
(, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 15:01, Reply)
Graffiti: I fucking hate blacksReply: Yeah, i much prefer Millets
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 15:04,
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You wait till I see you. I'm going to headbutt you in the balls for that. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 15:06,
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Should have deleted it like the thread that had the same"joke" in this morning(, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 15:08, Reply)
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