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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Would anyone like to earn £0 starting a thread that's not total shit?

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:35, 165 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Me please!
Morning boyce, how was your weekend?
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:38, Reply)
I made the best of it, but got very upset at a museum because it was full of people with their kids.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:44, Reply)
selfish dick heads

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:45, Reply)
I believe the correct response to this is
NONCE
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:16, Reply)
I just had a really nice homemade sausage roll

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:40, Reply)
puff pastry is not a suitable condom material

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:41, Reply)
I'm fucking ravenous.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:44, Reply)
Unusual name

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:50, Reply)
I have a new mattress with a tempura top, it's well luch

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:40, Reply)
Where did you get your matress? We need to buy one.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:42, Reply)
Warren Evans aren't too bad

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:45, Reply)
Hmm, I'll have a look.
I was thinking ~£400 would be plenty for a mattress, looks like I underestimated :(
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:47, Reply)
Try 800

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:48, Reply)
:(

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:48, Reply)
try £1200, for the one I really wanted, stupid money

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:49, Reply)
Seems to be, I had a look round Ikea and the only one that was even partially decent was £600.
:(
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:52, Reply)
split the cost over the 10 15 years that you'll have it and it's not so bad
My back feels better already nd I've slept beter, although we've only had it 3 nights
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:56, Reply)
I am going to be buying a new one soon.
I may even take Battered up on his fifty quid if he hasn't grown any nuts by then.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:49, Reply)
i know they're meant to last for years but ffs you'd think springs and feathers and stuff would be cheaper.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:53, Reply)
It's covered in deep fried shellfish???

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:44, Reply)
Nice one 'Battered'
DO YOU GET THIS AHAAHAHAHHAA
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:44, Reply)
sometimes at night i wake up and listen to the rain

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:40, Reply)
Is it achingly beautiful?

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:41, Reply)
of course

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:41, Reply)
gay cunt

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:46, Reply)
I am full of shit, it's true

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:49, Reply)
Does it tell you what a fool you have been?

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:46, Reply)
is this a song reference?

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:52, Reply)
I can't stand them

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:53, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lC2Fu20X_KY
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:55, Reply)
Not as good as the Jason Donovan version, obvs.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:55, Reply)
I will gladly pay you double that for this new thread.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:40, Reply)
Some species of snakes still have residual hips from when they had legs like a lizard

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:41, Reply)
Hipster snake pricks.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:42, Reply)
lols

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:46, Reply)
lets chat about favourite trees
species or individual.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:42, Reply)
Giant redwoods are alright

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:45, Reply)
you know all the enviromentalists want carbon capture and storage.
I don't see why they don't just plant a million giant redwoods, that'll sort it won't it?
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:48, Reply)
Well, sort off. But then the tree dies and the carbon is released again.
Plus it assumes that the tree cover will never be removed ever again ever. Which given the rate at which the rainforests are being removed is clearly bollocks.

So, in a nutshell. No.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:58, Reply)
Oldest known redwood is over 3500 years old.
So the storage for a long period is not a problem. According to wikipedia the problem is that they're picky and relativley shit trees that need annual fires and lots of water to germinate.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:01, Reply)
Plus they are very slow growing.
But the problem is, as I said, that trees don't take carbon out of the cycle, they just slow it down for a bit. So as a fuel, it's great and totally carbon neutral, but as a carbon offset, it's bollocks. You need to get the carbon out of the atmosphere and trap it in the sea, or in the holes left by old oil wells.

The problem is getting it to stay there.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:10, Reply)
To be entirely fair
it's impossible to permanently remove carbon from the cycle, at least within the realms of sensible approaches. All you can do is move it around. Trees will lock in atmostpheric carbon for a short period, at least. But whatever you do with it, it won't stay there forever.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:14, Reply)
we should store it all in the atmosphere, there is fucking loads of that

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:15, Reply)
It doesn't seem to like that.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:16, Reply)
stoopid fussy atmousphere

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:18, Reply)
The sea is an excellent sink, but unfortunately it'll fuck up all the fishes and that.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:19, Reply)
That's alright I don't really eat fish, aside from fish fingers and taramasalata

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:20, Reply)
Yeah, but you'd end up with mutant acid-proof sharks
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:22, Reply)
Yeah that does sound pretty cool.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:23, Reply)
Yeah I'm with tangles on this one, and if a few more saffera ann aussies get eaten, then so be it

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:25, Reply)
Right, I'll get on it, boys.
But don't say you weren't warned.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:26, Reply)
I want those sharks on my desk by lunchtime.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:27, Reply)
Sorry tangles
monday mornings are for getting over sunday's hangover.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:28, Reply)
Rugby was "good"

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:30, Reply)
I was watching it a couple of my Irish friends
so double-good. Bit of a dire game, but unsurprising considering the conditions. And still better than Wales-France, although I loved the result of that as well.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:31, Reply)
Forth type of game it was always going to be considering the weather and AWFUL pitch, I thought it was pretty good
The Orish should have been off for his stamp though
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:34, Reply)
He'll get cited.
Especially as he decided the stamp wasn't enough and punched Mahler on the ground about 5 minutes later

I thought the ref was woeful, actually. Not biased, just terrible. The yellow card was shocking, how that could be considered deliberate is beyond me. There were always going to be a lot of penalties and errors in those conditions, you can't just go "right, next thing I don't like is a yellow"
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:37, Reply)
Hangovers are for poofs.
How long is it now until your heavy drinking is going to be curtailed?
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:30, Reply)
4 weeks (ish)

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:31, Reply)
Blimey, time to increase your drinking for the final days.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:33, Reply)
I love a party with a happy atmosphere.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:23, Reply)
I've got some empty kitchen cupboards to keep it in,
I'm doing my part
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:23, Reply)
good work soldier.
With that kind of can-do attitude we'll win this war.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:30, Reply)
It only goes back into the atmosphere if it biodegrades.
THey should get loads of fast growing trees and dump them in the dessert, where they wont disintergrate.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:25, Reply)

I'm liking this pudding based solution to global warming.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:27, Reply)
I'm assuming that Angel Delight would be the most suited to this task.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:28, Reply)
Butterscotch flavour, natch.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:28, Reply)
I have experienced very few things in life
that are quite as satisfying as butterscotch angel delight.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:50, Reply)
Except that the number of cows required would produce a lot of methane which adds to global warming

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:30, Reply)
Is angel delight made from cows?

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:32, Reply)
horses

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:33, Reply)
best of all the dessert animals

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:38, Reply)
I think I wold have got on well with a Elm, but there are none left :(

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:47, Reply)
Serious though I like Yew trees and Horse Chesnuts

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:54, Reply)
NONCE

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:55, Reply)
Needs more tyre chat

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:46, Reply)
Terrible bullying of b3th.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:47, Reply)
How terribly continental

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:51, Reply)
I wouldn't dare.
The last time I started one I got bullied and did a cry.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:48, Reply)
And put us all on 2.0

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:48, Reply)
Quite - it upset quite a few; it was very unpleasant.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:08, Reply)
Your new tablet?
Did it work?
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:08, Reply)
Did you get your tablet?
Did it work?
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:59, Reply)
I did - it's good.
Well - I say "good"; it enables me to surf the net and read books, which is what I wanted it for. For £42 I thought it worth a punt, and find it very acceptable.

I even downloaded a free game, for when I'm bored of reading, which is fun.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:09, Reply)
Excellent.
I'm thinking of asking for one for my birthday and I wasn't sure whether to push the boat out and get a samsung or nexus or just plump for a no name generic one.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:11, Reply)
No thanks
I have already fulfilled my February thread commitments. Perhaps in March.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:49, Reply)
I did.
you understomped it and it died. that's the last time I'm making an effort today.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:50, Reply)
Thanks for that "Capt Placid"

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:51, Reply)
hey, I aspire to have as much work ethic as that guy.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:04, Reply)
Nope

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:59, Reply)
yo

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:00, Reply)
Monty
*chews pipe and nods conspiratorily*
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:04, Reply)
I wrote a tune this weekend
I'm so happy with it that I might even put lyrics to it and everything. This is a first. Lusty thought it was an actual tune by a real person.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 10:59, Reply)
Make sure you post it on /links when you've finished.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:01, Reply)
and /talk

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:02, Reply)
I'm hoping Kunt will cover it then I'll be in the newsletter!

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:04, Reply)
th ultimate muscial accolade
IN YOUR FACE GRAMMYS
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:05, Reply)
Perhaps one of them newsletter cunts can make a funny video with cats for it.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:05, Reply)
cats with laser eyes!!

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:07, Reply)
Oh man that would be TOO FUNNY!!!!

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:16, Reply)
It really wouldn't.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:20, Reply)
good idea!!

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:03, Reply)
You'll be the next Kunt!

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:03, Reply)
one can only dream

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:05, Reply)
When will it be out on vinyl?

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:03, Reply)
vinyl is so horrid and drecky
Wax cylinders records have a warm, rich sound that can be exceptionally clear and maintain impressive fidelity. Audiophiles (people who care deeply about sound quality in music) maintain that nothing, not even the newer CDs, can be as rich as a Wax cylinders.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:08, Reply)
Was it the Jif Microliquid jingle?

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:05, Reply)
yes

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:08, Reply)
I'm going to apply to be the next Pope, Monce
Sounds like a cushy little job if you ask me.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:24, Reply)
emo

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:34, Reply)
Are you going to see the Ice Age Art exhibition at the British Museum?
Its on until late May.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:08, Reply)
Does it have ice age children in it?

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:11, Reply)
about 6 months under ice age, I heard.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:12, Reply)
Not you too CQ.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:13, Reply)
He wants them to chase his nuts

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:21, Reply)
I hope not.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:12, Reply)
I expect so.
I can't wait for the Pompeii one.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:22, Reply)
If you go UP to that one
Remember that you cannot Titter at the exhibition.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:24, Reply)
Titter ye not

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:25, Reply)

ii y
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:29, Reply)
6:58 - minute too late

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:37, Reply)
Ha....references
*snuggles*
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:40, Reply)
I'll go to that too.
I can't really see me going to Pompeii itself.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:44, Reply)
The terms of the register you are on requires you to check in at a police station each day?

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:46, Reply)
cant you just rent the films
Save all that time trudging round the museum
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:23, Reply)
Pope is resigning

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:20, Reply)
To spend more time with his kidz.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:20, Reply)
LOLcopters

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:21, Reply)
resigning pope is in your kids
emptying his nutsack
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:21, Reply)
I heard he nonced kids with Stuart Hall

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:21, Reply)
He was going for a quick up and under.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:22, Reply)
Good
I hope he gets shot in the face too.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:23, Reply)
office lol

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:26, Reply)
NO CATHOLIC CHAT.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:24, Reply)
You sound incensed

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:26, Reply)
Asspérges me, Dómine, hyssópo, et mundábor; lavábis me, et super nivem dealbábor,

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:28, Reply)
The pope has Aspergers' ?

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:28, Reply)
Nope just a brown shirt and a hatred of Jews

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:30, Reply)
Spirito di Punto, Coitus Interuptus

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:30, Reply)
Put that gon deyne, we'll sey hey hard yee really are!

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:31, Reply)
OK, I retract that bit about your cunt kids.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:32, Reply)
thus us un ite-reage

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:37, Reply)
Can they just fucking close down the vatican now? They're one massive insult....
... I mean, if I called someone "A murderious nazi voting bunch of paedofiles trillionares, who are rape appologists, and is the #1 cause (ok, top 3?) for death and destruction in Africa", you'd be like "lolololol shut up you exasorating tart", but thats exactly what they are.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 12:00, Reply)
Morning Monty
I had an excellent day at Leeds Armouries this weekend, looking at the different weapons and armour they had, absolutely ace.

You, on the other hand, displayed a knowledge of One Direction and The Saturdays, before falling asleep watching Kindergarten Cop.

For shame.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:39, Reply)
If he carries on like this then WTN will have to replaced with WTM.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:40, Reply)
I was fucking shit-faced.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:41, Reply)
STRIKETHROUGH FACED AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:42, Reply)
what's all the kindergaten cop chat about

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:42, Reply)
whilst I was having a drunken kip
my missus watched a shit film. When I woke up she told me I'd missed it, then told 'FB' about it. The end.
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:43, Reply)
CSB

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:43, Reply)
cunt shit bollocks?

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:47, Reply)
Someone should start a new thread.

(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:50, Reply)
my new thread is good
you can pay me later x
(, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 11:52, Reply)

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