Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
Consolidation threadI got a stinking cold on Saturday, headache, deafness, blocked and runny nose, the works. Today I am better, because I'm fucking nails.
Are you nails? or are you a Hypochondriac wimp?
Alt: I'm making horse bourgingon tonight for my date with the Pope tomorrow. What would you cook the head of a popular religion?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:12,
141 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I am nails.I feel a bit rubbish today though and called in sick. I'm expecting a phone call in 10 minutes from my boss asking me to reconsider and man up and come in tonight. :(
(
wanderlust, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:14,
Reply)
Not sure it's possible to be nails and take a sicky.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:16,
Reply)
I work in a bar and restaurant.If I'm sick and around food it's bad news, I'm doing this to stop other people getting ill.
(
wanderlust, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:17,
Reply)
Manual labour? Me? I think not.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:20,
Reply)
It's no 'dead terrorist' I suppose.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:22,
Reply)
(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)(◉‿◉)
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:26, Reply)
I don't do sick*Alt:For the prophet Mohammed a Bacon sandwich
*Nails me
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:18,
Reply)
Last time I was sick was in December.First time in a year pretty much aside from a bout of food poisoning in april, and I was crook for nearly 2 and a half weeks
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:20, Reply)
Kindly answer the damned question, woman.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1862101
Bloody tit-racists
(
Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:21,
Reply)
ahaha I didn't see that, sorry.I don't have a problem with it, I just prefer to keep a bit of mystery. Just cos the other person knows I have nipples doesn't mean they need to be beaten around the head with the sight of them.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:22, Reply)
This is the only logical conclusion.She must have areolae like bin-lids.
(
Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:37,
Reply)
You can always tell when poppet is ariving, her nips get there four minutes before she does(
Theoban What of it, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:40,
Reply)
She has to have a man walking in front of her, waving a red flag.(
Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:42,
Reply)
I'm seriously hungover, Nakers.I don't want to worry you, but I don't think I'm going to make it.
(
Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:20,
Reply)
With medication, you can live a relatively normal life with Beer HIVGod bless hun x
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:22,
Reply)
I think I'd rather get full blown wine-AIDSthen die of some secondary complication than live a half-life with beer HIV.
(
Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:23,
Reply)
I always thought the campaign should have been'AIDS: DON'T DIE OF AIDS'
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:29,
Reply)
I'd make a lovely bit of fish for the Chief RabbiMaybe ray wing or something. I think he'd like that.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:21,
Reply)
Mostly nailsWhen I get colds at home, I just let it pass. When they get me at work, I have to take Lemsip, otherwise I can't focus at all.
Alt: I'd make the Dalai Lama a pizza.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:21,
Reply)
I have fixed my little box with 20EF in problemBy downloading this font and telling my browser to use it.
www.fontspace.com/gnu-freefont/freesans
Now I can revel in (◉‿◉) fun just as everyone else stops doing it.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:21,
Reply)
That's a lot of effort to put in, given that we're only doing it because it annoys Battered.(
Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:24,
Reply)
I think it rather depends on the illnessFor example, if I have a cold I am quite capable of getting on with my life while covering everything with snot.
I find that when the AIDS flares up that tends to knock me down a bit harder and I may take a day or two in bed.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:24,
Reply)
I hate people who say they've got or have had 'flu when they've got or have had a cold.'Flu puts you on your fucking back for at least a week. Just because you had the day off for a sniffle is pathetic.
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:24,
Reply)
I'm not sure flu even exists tbhI'm pretty sure I've never had it
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:25,
Reply)
I had it in my teens and similarly tripped out of my fucking head.My spatial awareness went to shit and I felt like my arms were miles long. It was great.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:28,
Reply)
I thought it was fucking horrible.This is why I've never taken hallucinogens.
(
Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:30,
Reply)
I'm lying it was fucking horrendous.No reason to gay off on the trips though Kroney.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:34,
Reply)
Make a STAND then(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:37,
Reply)
He's gaying off on the trips Tango.Even though I told him that there's no reason to.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:39,
Reply)
I thought Kroney was a man of reason.You assured him there was no reason.
What a gay.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:42,
Reply)
I couldn't have been clearer and yet the gaying off carries on.I'm really not happy about this.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:43,
Reply)
I'm all for preaching tolerance and equal opportunities and all that.But I don't think people who gay out of trips should be allowed to marry.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:48,
Reply)
Well don't leave your drinks unattended at any B4$H3$ then.That's all I'm saying.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:38,
Reply)
If you did, my only option would be to de-friend your missus on FB.You're not on it for me to revenge myself, so your loved ones must suffer.
(
Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:40,
Reply)
Oh right like when the SS would wipe out a village in revenge for partisan attacks?coooooolllllll
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:43,
Reply)
I watched “The Nazi Temple of Doom” last night Truestory(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:45,
Reply)
Was it about Wewelsberg Castle?I am *desperate* to go there.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:47,
Reply)
Summat like that still got SS and Swastika's united signs in the marble work (
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:49,
Reply)
Yeah with that big round chamber with the sunken floor?Annoyingly a lot of the swastikas have been chiselled off. The fucking wankers.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:10,
Reply)
Right this is serious stuff here.You shouldn't muck about with the whole 'unfriending' business.
People can get hurt, y'know?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:43,
Reply)
HAS VIPROSGATE TAUGHT HIM NOTHING????(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:44,
Reply)
What is this 'Viprosgate' of which you speak?(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:48,
Reply)
He was the first of several to unfriend Al on FB. IIRC.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:49,
Reply)
yea and verily there was a wailingAnd a gnashing of teeth
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:50,
Reply)
Oh dear. I bet there was much Internet Seriousness.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:55,
Reply)
Indeed.As we all know, the internet MUST be taken very seriously at all times.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:59,
Reply)
I had 'flu once when I was about 14.I was delirious. Not pleasant. On the plus side, being at boarding school meant that they did 'flu jabs in subsequent years so that the whole boarding house didn't go down with it.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:33, Reply)
I'm never really sickHad a chest infection a year or so ago, that's about it for me really.
I'm prone to breaking limbs though. Only my left leg to go until I've done all four. Then I get a special badge.
(
Theoban What of it, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:27,
Reply)
Lego is the pulled pork of /talk(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:33,
Reply)
I'm pretty sure that'd make you a quadraplegic. I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure I'm right.
(
Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:29,
Reply)
Cor but then I'd get a special parking spot and everything(
Theoban What of it, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:30,
Reply)
I used to think I was nailsbut in recent years I seem to be annoyingly susceptible to lergy. On the upside I vommed and shat about 5lbs off last week.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:29, Reply)
Your girlfriend is a shitty poo hands.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:30,
Reply)
I thought you lot had to stick up for each other?Vegetarians, not shitty poo-hands types. At least the shit on her hands is her own (or mine). You got yours from fisting kids. You probably like it if they've got diarrhoea when you fist them. Extra lube.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:34, Reply)
Vegetarians are too weak to stand up for anything.You're thinking of gingers.
(
Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:36,
Reply)
I made vegetarian burgers last night, with my home made green chilli paste.They were well nom actually.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:41,
Reply)
Sounds lush!Trouble is, there's nowhere around here that slaughters vegetarians so their meat's hard to get.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:42, Reply)
Sorry when I said 'vegetarian' I really meant 'nommy pulled chorizo'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:45,
Reply)
I hope you added baconz?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:46,
Reply)
I rarely get properly sick.On account of my heroic immune system. At least, I think it's heroic. It could be it's ramped up because I've got some deadly and as yet undiagnosed condition, but I hope not.
Anyway.
This makes me a terrible wimp on the few occasions I am sick because I don't know how to cope.
(
Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:33,
Reply)
Tom Jones' follow up single to Sex Bomb?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:52,
Reply)
I am assessing candidatesAnd they are in their 40 min silent reading phase.
It was v hard not to ruin it for them by laughing.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:53,
Reply)
You can give it to me when I need to come along(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:55,
Reply)
I thought it was "when I need to come alone"Ie wank bank material?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:57,
Reply)
Not according to well renowned font of all knowledge, "The Internet"(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:57,
Reply)
I hate people who rely on wiki and google to pronounce things like they actually understand themIt's like watching chimps making tea in the PG Tips ad.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:59,
Reply)
I had flu once - most unpleasantI tend not to get ill much despite my advancing years. However, as I am a neckyspineycripple I have had some time laid up after surgery on a couple of occasions.
Alt: Full barbecued sucking pig. Don't really care which god-botherer-in-chief eats it as long as I get some.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:42, Reply)
100% nailsI cannot remember the last time I was off work. MTFU works wonders
I'd make the Dalai Lama a llama korma
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:48,
Reply)
HOW IS YOUR BACK FROM LAST WEEKAND YOUR HANGOVER FROM YESTERDAY????????
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:50,
Reply)
My back is fine nowHence MTFU
My hangover from yesterday has now gone via the application of bacon to face
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:51,
Reply)
bacon is wrongYou're making the baby jesus cry
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:52,
Reply)
The Bent Spastic is always crying(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:53,
Reply)
Bacon, egg, mushroom and brown sauceLarge coffee
BTN
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:53,
Reply)
No crying over spilt milk(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:02,
Reply)
is that why you've got a lady boner like "The Gherkin"(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:04,
Reply)
I can see it from this meeting room windowWish I couldn't now
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:06,
Reply)
Question.Is it terrible racism to accuse someone of brown-nosing the customer if they're already brown?
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 11:59, Reply)
I think it is more racist to draw a parallel between skin being brown due to external sources, such as human faeces, and skin colour as determined by melanin levels.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:03,
Reply)
I think we can safely say that this is an area fraught with potential offence pitfalls.(
Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:06,
Reply)
Al's indignation alarm is screaming like a goat in a blender(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:08,
Reply)
He loves a bit of righteous indignation, does our Al.It gives him a raging stonk-on, I bet.
(
Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:09,
Reply)
So if I called you green because of any environmental concerns, that'd be rudebut if it was based on the fact that you look like a fucking lizard, that's OK, cos you can't help that
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:13, Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »