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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

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307 days to christmas!

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 7:38, 140 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Christmas is overrated.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 7:38, Reply)
yeah well you've got dog worms living down your weehole

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 7:40, Reply)
Probably.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 7:43, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 7:39, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 7:39, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 7:40, Reply)

\(◉‿◉)/
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 7:45, Reply)
Never mind that shit!
Where are my fucking icons! B3ta lied to me!
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:15, Reply)
How was the guidance session?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:16, Reply)
I heard PJ loves a good session with a guide

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:21, Reply)
I heard you're a weapons grade cretin.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:21, Reply)
You heard right

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:25, Reply)
I know.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:30, Reply)
I know you know

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:33, Reply)
I heard Apey keeps a brownie in his pants.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:34, Reply)
It has nuts in it

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:35, Reply)
Different to what I expected
but it looks positive. we're going back so it must have helped.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:55, Reply)
I'm already exhausted.
There's no way I can stay up til Christmas.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:26, Reply)
I fucking love a bit of Christmas.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:28, Reply)
Yeah me too, especially now that baby Badmons is old enough to enjoy it

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:31, Reply)

:o(
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:31, Reply)
Sorry matey

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:33, Reply)
I find it depressing.
But then I'm fucking depressed, ABLOOBLOOBLOOBLOO
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:31, Reply)
Cheer up you misery.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:34, Reply)
No.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:35, Reply)
Not long 'till the weekend.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:36, Reply)
I have tomorrow off \o/

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:36, Reply)
That is something to look forward to.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:38, Reply)
It'll be a cold one.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:42, Reply)
I shall dress accordingly.
DOG JUMPERS AHOY
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:44, Reply)
I've got a jumper with a leather patch on one shoulder, and a patch on the opposite elbow.
I don't wear it out of embarrassment.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:50, Reply)
you wear it out of love?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:02, Reply)
And quit with the Black Lace lyrics as well.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:36, Reply)
*shakes tree*

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:39, Reply)
are you going to start posting stuff like "telling someone to cheer up is like telling an aids patient to reject the illness from their system"
Or "depression is a disease, but is not contagious, sometimes we just need hugs"
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:46, Reply)
Yes.
And pictures of crying ponies.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:53, Reply)
I'm happy to accept depression is a thing,
But I'm not convinced one of the symptoms is "being a whinge attention seeking Fuck on facebook"
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:58, Reply)
^this, harder than a diamond-tipped erection^

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:59, Reply)
I got sectioned twice with it and never once felt the need to be miserable on the internet

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:00, Reply)
are you sure you aren't baldmonkey?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:01, Reply)
blandmonkey was only ever pretend mental

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:02, Reply)
Having met him on several occasions
I can pretty much suggest this isn't the case. But I'm not a psychologist so, meh.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:05, Reply)
I think I speak for everyone here when I say cheer the fuck up you moody streak of misery

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:55, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:56, Reply)
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME OR MY MUSIC!!!!!

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:57, Reply)
Hey monty, you love record stores right.
So you must agree with this guy. www.theregister.co.uk/2013/02/21/jack_white_digital_world/
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:57, Reply)
I like records.
But I can't stand ‘drinking coffee and exchanging ideas’ or ‘arthouse films’. I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK!!!
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:01, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:58, Reply)
I'M A 'CYBERGOTH' OK?????
WE DON'T *DO* TIDIYING OUR ROOMS.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:58, Reply)
alright WP, I love a bit of christmas
but I'll tell you who doesn't love a bit of christmas, jews and towelheads, that's who
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:52, Reply)
well the world don't move, to the beat of just one drum,
What might be right for you, may not be right for some.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:09, Reply)
Morning all.
Are you all going to Wembley on your birthdays? Well, are you? No? Well fuck off with your shitty not as good as mine lives then.

xx
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:31, Reply)
Wemberly is a fucking shit hole

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:33, Reply)
I'm not moving there.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:34, Reply)
Gosh yes Wembley is a a LOVELY place, I am so jealous.
Oh no sorry. The other one.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:33, Reply)
I'm not moving there.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:34, Reply)
If you did at least Ikea would be on yr doorstep
So why are you going to wembley stadium?
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:36, Reply)
To hang around with a bunch of bellowing, cretinous proles.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:37, Reply)
I've got B3ta for that.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:38, Reply)
I live as close as I care to to an IKEA as it is. I am yet to see any evidence that the 10 mile radius around any IKEA is anything but the land of cunts.
Johntsons Paint Trophy Final, innit.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:37, Reply)
What's that then? Is it like the chmpions leAgue final?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:39, Reply)
Similar, only the bellowing, cretinous proles have paid slightly less for their vulgar nylon replica shirts.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:40, Reply)
you think?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:41, Reply)
I'm gonna level with you - it was a guess.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:43, Reply)
You do shock me.
I had you down as B3ta's #1 football expert.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:45, Reply)
Ahh, the lower league cup final.
When Bristol City get relegated this season we'll be back in the mix for it!
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:41, Reply)
That must make it all worthwhile...

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:46, Reply)
There's an Ikea within 10 miles of Bletchley Park.
Are you suggesting WORLD WAR TWO HEROS AND "HISTORICAL GAYS" ARE CUNTS?
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:54, Reply)
Can you believe this guy?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:56, Reply)
Those historical gays, eh?
always bumming in the past.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:58, Reply)
He wouldn't be gay now, because nerds can get pussy.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:59, Reply)
because that absolutely is how homosexuality works, chompy.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:01, Reply)
Well it was a crass generalisation based on that one in Croydon, to be fair.
But yeah, sure, why not. I know my Granddad was anyway.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:59, Reply)
You could narrow the generalisation by simply accurately pointing out that Croydon is a cunt?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:00, Reply)
I got headbutted by a boy racer in Croydon.
It was my fault, I had the cheek to point out to him that he nearly run me over jumping a red light.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:03, Reply)
I should probably reconstruct that sentence to make it clear that it wasn't me trying to jump the red light.
I can jump a post box*, but a red light would be a step too far.

*Based on a survey of one 18 year old me. I assume it's still the case though, what could possibly have changed in the last twenty years?
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:06, Reply)
Postboxes are a lot higher. It's a trap.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:06, Reply)
unsurprising.
I bet your mangled body dented his pristine 1992 Nova as well.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:06, Reply)
Given that includes all of Edinburgh...
... oh yeah. As you were.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:57, Reply)
It's Ok call off the search party I'm back

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:00, Reply)
I saw A Good Day To Die Hard last night
It was fucking gash. It should have been called A Good Day To Stay The Fuck Home And Watch The Original Die Hard With A Cold Beer And Reminisce About The Days When Films Had Good Swearing
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:05, Reply)
suck my lozenge
melon farmer
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:07, Reply)
You deserve it, for turning meatgay.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:07, Reply)
If I'd known the penance was broken dreams I'd have butchered a cow before going

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:10, Reply)
Better than 4.0 or worse?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:07, Reply)
Marginally worse
by dint of a piss-poor supporting cast and no helicopters getting killed by flying cars.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:09, Reply)
Villain any good?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:10, Reply)
No.
Bunch of cliched stereotypical Russians. The writer's research on the subject matter clearly came from The Big Book Of Hackneyed American Xenophobia
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:11, Reply)
Or the CIA World Factbook as it's known
*sne sne*
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:16, Reply)
The one that dictates we're a bunch of poshos and Sid Vicious wannabes
as per Buffy the Vampire Slayer
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:24, Reply)
Billy Idol, surely?
Also, Spike looks seriously fucking old now.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:36, Reply)
I'd rather see that than the last 5 minutes of Louis I just watched.
Ricky Gervais can ruin anything, it seems.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:15, Reply)
He is a deeply unfunny smart-arse.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:20, Reply)
It's quite painfully shit, even by Die Hard standards.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:18, Reply)
Hang about
Are you suggesting that the original Die Hard is shit? Because I think the penalty for that is handing your penis back.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:23, Reply)
No, I mean by Die Hard 2 standards.
I really cannot stand that film, I even preferred 4.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:36, Reply)
Oh I quite enjoyed it

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:36, Reply)
Fair enough, I didn't
I think it was the lack of an English actor doing a terrible German accent.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:41, Reply)
Fundamental flaw with so many modern movies

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:48, Reply)
thing is
you knew it was going to be shit before you bought the ticket and the film makers knew it was going to be shit before they even made it

and yet, people still go and see a film that they know is going to be shit and so the film makers get more money to keep making films that they know are going to be shit
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:21, Reply)
Keyword: SHIT

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:22, Reply)
SHIT

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:23, Reply)
THAT'S RIGHT

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:24, Reply)
Alright, Mark Kermode?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:24, Reply)
If King Zog's got hair like Mark Kermode I'll bugger him into a coma

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:25, Reply)
haha, yeah, because he says things about films too, I get it

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:26, Reply)
No, it was more that he says exactly what you said. Otherwise I may as well have called you Alex Zane.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:28, Reply)
dunno, I've never listened to or read his reviews
maybe we both independently came to the same conclusion, imagine that
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:29, Reply)
except that pirates of the caribbean one, that properly made me rofl

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:30, Reply)
Oooooooooooh
Could have been worse actually, at least you didn't invoke The Ross.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:30, Reply)
no, because you both have surnames which sound like hospital poo-bowls

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:32, Reply)
L'il Franky Bedpan

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:33, Reply)
What happened to him after Malcolm In The Middle finished.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:35, Reply)
he turned to god.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:42, Reply)
keyword: POO-BOWLS

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:33, Reply)
Pushing for a 12a was their second mistake

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:34, Reply)
Company thing tonight, so the suit's on again.
The "are you due in court?" jokes have already started. Why are people so shit and unfunny?

Somebody pointed out that I could have given my tramp beard a trim. WHY MUST PEOPLE ALWAYS JUDGE? I like my tramp beard :(
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:22, Reply)
keyword: SHIT

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:24, Reply)
SHIT

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:26, Reply)
tramp beard sounds like you are talking about your arse
i don't like it
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:27, Reply)
haha, like people who aren't tramps sometimes have beards

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:28, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:29, Reply)
why do you have a beard? is it a nice beard? can I touch your beard?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:37, Reply)
+ anal

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:39, Reply)
I do love a bit of bum.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:40, Reply)
Well are you due in court?
Was it for the international cheese smuggling ring I hear so much about
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:43, Reply)
Morning
I used a 25% discount code yesterday and got £1.99 off £19.99. I have just emailed them to explain how numbers work. I suspect I shall get the brush-off, though.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:33, Reply)
you sound like the lovechild of al and psychochomp
sorry
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:34, Reply)
Now there's a mental mating image I didn't need

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:36, Reply)
trust you to think about the sweaty hairy bumsex

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:39, Reply)
That's how babies are made dear
HTH
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:40, Reply)
only lawyers
oh.

wait.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:51, Reply)
sorry, got bored halfway into that post, stopped reading

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:34, Reply)
The cunts who do my shirts owe me £3

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:38, Reply)
keyword: SORRY

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:37, Reply)
20 quid for a shirt?

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:43, Reply)
10 shirts

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:44, Reply)
I don't think I've ever bought that 2 shirts at a time.

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:46, Reply)
Dry cleaning innit

(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:47, Reply)
I put the shirts in a locker in my building
they're taken away, cleaned, ironed and returned to the locker, and I pick them back up. I'm paying a premium to not have any physical contact with the proles.
(, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:57, Reply)

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