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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Films are shit. You're shit. SHIT, I TELL YOU. SHIT.
I saw a great programme on martial arts last night. In it, this fellow claimed that Bruce Lee was the coolest man in the world. Of all time, ever. 'Bruce Lee was even cooler than Jimi Hendrix'.

Can this really be true? I can't stop thinking about it. Who's cooler?

Alt: Nope
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:45, 172 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
Not as cool as Richard Blackwood.
Look I have my name back!
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:46, Reply)
I asked for whoever stole my name to be banned so lets see who is mysteriously missing from this thread eh?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:47, Reply)
I DON'T SEE VIPROS POSTING, WHAT A THIEVING CUNT

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:47, Reply)
well, they might have just banned the spare account, not the whole persona.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:48, Reply)
No sign of Dozer....

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)
don't be coy

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:51, Reply)
I'm free

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:52, Reply)
How did that happen?
I quite fancy mine back but cannot be arsed to go down the mod route.

I think you'll find that 'RB' is 'da man'.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:47, Reply)
Just mentioned it on /talk.
God is browsing.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:47, Reply)
I've just tried the same, in a new thread, IN CAPS.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)
You're well good at the internet.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:50, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1875705
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:51, Reply)
looks like it worked.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:58, Reply)
WoooOOOooooOOOOooo

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)
I'm totally way cooler than most of the people here,
I have long hair and a stupid moustache, I am on trend.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:47, Reply)
YESSSSSSS

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)

on t + a b
+ er
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:20, Reply)
I'm nearly as cool as Tangers.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:48, Reply)
Lemmy
*discussion ends*
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)
Hmmmmm
Interesting call but not cooler than Jimi or Bruce* I think. He's a teensy bit of a knob, albeit a very teensy bit.

That (excellent) Lemmy film has some rather cringeworthy bits in it, asp the ones with his son.


*cooler than Bruce Dickinson though, I'll give you that
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:50, Reply)
you are dead to me Boyce.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:52, Reply)
His son is just plain weird.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:55, Reply)
There are many cool people who are cool for varying reasons.
What you need are cool subcategories.
Jimi is totally the coolest guitarist.
Bruce Lee can be your coolest kung fu guy.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)
I vote Dr.Fox

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)
From 'That's Life'?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:55, Reply)
From the Cabinet

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:55, Reply)
Oh right. He's 'pretty cool' I'd say - no more.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)
I don't know, jackie chan does seem pretty cool

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:07, Reply)
Jackie is WAY COOL.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)
*pulls out trump card*
For martial art cool one need look no further than Ranger and Musician Steven Segal...


*Rests on comfortable laurels*
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:15, Reply)
*shits on impecunious Hardys*

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:20, Reply)
*delivers piano*

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:24, Reply)
clint kicks all of their arses
king of cool
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:15, Reply)
mr eastwood?
the racist gun toting fuck?
He is in some of the best movie roles ever, and i love his work, but the guy is definitely a dick.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:18, Reply)
No, clint MANSELL from pop will eat itself.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:19, Reply)
cough cough
Inspiral carpets
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:22, Reply)
Pah,
'some cunts that emvee likes'

HAPPY NOW?
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:23, Reply)
Yep, that covers it

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:24, Reply)
Are they in his top ten indie bands?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:25, Reply)
not even.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:37, Reply)
Cough cough
You're thinking of Clint Boon.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:25, Reply)
I'm thinking of Clint Howard
Ron Howard's weird looking brother
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:26, Reply)
I was thinking of Ken Boon from ITV's Boon.
Hi Ho Silver!
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:29, Reply)
*rides on down*

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:37, Reply)
Black boxes
Follow up "awareness" single
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:39, Reply)
i know nothing about him so will take the words of you, a stranger on the internet, to heart
his films are cool as fuck.

and i went to carmel-by-the-sea when he was the mayor.

that is all.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:21, Reply)
I assume Mr Mansell
He gets girls and kills baddies
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:21, Reply)
Haha
good one
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:21, Reply)
who are you again?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:23, Reply)
What an odd question

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:24, Reply)
i always get you and syncubus confused

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:27, Reply)
Yes, the spelling of our names is so similar
I can see why that might happen
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:28, Reply)
that and the pink sock

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:31, Reply)
Batman just did bat-sex with his bat-penis

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)
Bruce innit
Do I have to justify why?
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)
Yes.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:55, Reply)
This
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SncapPrTusA
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)
not bruce lee.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:25, Reply)
Jimi
Drugs make you cool. Right? RIGHT?!?!?!

But Darth Vader is cooler than either of them anyway.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)
he looks like he made his costume at home
it's pathetic
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 13:58, Reply)
He'd be much cooler if he had a Brizzle accent.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)
"Oi foind yore lack of fayth distobing pickle"

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)
SEE?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:01, Reply)
I would think that all of Star Wars could be improved if it was more like the Grumbleweeds.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:02, Reply)
Wurzel Gummidge as Chewbacca
Bill and Ben as the Imperial Guard
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)
CORRECT.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:06, Reply)
*hovis music*
"I am a great baker and I AM your father! "
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:10, Reply)
But he can force choke people via Skype despite having no hands

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)
also, Mr Freeze is pretty cool.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)
Coolest Victor ever
beats Meldrew by a nose
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:01, Reply)
meldrew can fuck off,
in fact, almost all comedy sitcoms from that era can stick it up their noses.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:07, Reply)
Surely not Never the Twain, though?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:22, Reply)
ESPECIALLY, never the twain.
And porridge, and all that shite.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:25, Reply)
Fresh fields?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:27, Reply)
That's My Boy?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:27, Reply)
Me and My Girl?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:28, Reply)
Home To Roost?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:32, Reply)
Butterflies?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:32, Reply)
Tripper's Day?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:32, Reply)
Up the Elephant and Round the Castle?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:33, Reply)
Only When I Laugh?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:34, Reply)
Porridge is GASH.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:37, Reply)
Maybe, but all the sitcoms I've listed here are stone cold classics.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:38, Reply)
That don't impress me much?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:52, Reply)
THIS IS VERY FUNNY AND SHOULD BE ON THE POPULAR PAGE

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:57, Reply)
it's shit, like you

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:58, Reply)


(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:07, Reply)
Oh yeah,
Doom is alright.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:09, Reply)
he's better at hip hop that being a b ad guy

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)
what the hell are you wittering about badmons?
I think the steroid abuse is taking its toll.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:16, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MF_Doom
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:17, Reply)
I saw him at Alexandra Palace a couple of years ago.
I thought he was a bit meh, so I went and sat on the hill outside and smoked a joint.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:19, Reply)
^ THIS IS HOW TO WRITE A COOL STORY ON THE INTERNET

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:19, Reply)
He *is* a bit meh but the sad thing is that everyone else is so fucking dreadful that they think MFD is great just by contrast.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:22, Reply)
when you say everyone else, you don't mean me as well do you?
i'm really trying.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:27, Reply)
No way WP!
Unless you have a sideline as a mediocre MC that I am unaware of.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:35, Reply)
you know,
I don't.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:41, Reply)
you think a fat guy in larp gear is cool?
Cavy knows loads of blokes like that, I'm sure she can hook you up.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:23, Reply)
isn't that nearly all the posters on here?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:27, Reply)
i was going to say not me,
then i remembered what i look like, and that i own a crossbow, and considered suicide. But i'm not fat, so it's ok.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:42, Reply)
Coolest man of all time is Samuel L Jackson.
Alt: Yes.

Fuck me, what a lunch. Chorizo, salami milano, prosciutto, smoked cheddar and salad sandwich with soup. So full.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:06, Reply)
that's a lot of meat variety per sandwich going on there, I'm very much a one meat per sandwich man.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:09, Reply)
these guys with 2 different meats are crazy, i blame the Americans and their "club sandwich"
mixing chicken and pig just ain't right.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:10, Reply)
oh man, they'll be wanting them to marry next or sutin?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:12, Reply)
Why mix different types of ham and sausage together?
I like both, but you can only really appreciate the individuality of them if they're individual. Otherwise it just tastes of ham/sausage.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)
you've never had a 3some, have you?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)
Nope.
At best there's way too many limbs. At worst, too many ballbags.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:14, Reply)
what about tits?
too many tits?
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:15, Reply)
you can get one of the to hold a cymbal and pretend you are phil collins

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:16, Reply)
i thought it was you that had a string of bad choices of sexual partner.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:17, Reply)
it is
but i am not alone in that hall of shame
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:22, Reply)
How can there possibly be too many tits?
Make some damned sense for once in your life, woman.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:17, Reply)
Again depends on the number of people
2 women 4 tits = good
1 women 4 tits = bovine

1 women 1 tit = Kylie
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:17, Reply)
No women 2 tits = Ant & Dec

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:20, Reply)
1 women 3 tits = total recall
just to finish what Elton John would call

"The Circle of Tits"
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:23, Reply)
Not enough tits in my first threesome
Three, if I count myself as a tit for making that decision
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:19, Reply)
Too many ballbags.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:20, Reply)
I was young
I needed the work
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:20, Reply)
Always be aware of the ballbags.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:22, Reply)
there's a great story about this on QOTW somewhere

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:22, Reply)
There will be in a minute

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:24, Reply)
as I remeber some grim house whale is underneath a bird being banged up the shit pipe
when he thinks she's frothing at the clopper, it turns out he is eating his mates jizz.

QOTW outdid itself
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:32, Reply)
Oh we've all been there




...right?
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:35, Reply)
This one:
b3ta.com/questions/sexualmisconceptions/post258292
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:37, Reply)
yeah that one...*bokes*

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:40, Reply)
I liked chart cat.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:46, Reply)
I liked you
too
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 16:24, Reply)
Jason Donovan'szzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:24, Reply)
With the under-appreciated teabag related sequel
"Sealed With A Ballbag".
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:25, Reply)
and the musical hit
"Any Cock Will Do"
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:29, Reply)
this is the joke i was groping for
in that any threesome involving kroney would automatically include one tit too many. even if the rest had had mastectomies.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:22, Reply)
;_;

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:23, Reply)
It worked well, but I cut the cheese a little too thick. Ruined the sandwich in bits.
My colleague had a better idea, went for horseradish beef and some ham, then had it in a salad bap, with extra horseradish.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:10, Reply)
have you tried the chunky cheese co yet?
sainsburys have them. chilli and lime or cracked black pepper extra mature cheddar. fucking gert lush.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)
That sounds a bit good, the pepper one
A lime cheese? Hmm, not sure.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:25, Reply)
chilli and lime
trust me it's fucking awesome. basically a v spicy cheese.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:28, Reply)
Hmm, shall have a see.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:35, Reply)

www.thechunkycheeseco.co.uk/

the good thing is, they are only small snack packs, so you don't end up with a fridge full of tasty tasty lard.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:45, Reply)
i am cooler than both of them
i don't mind nope or yep. they don't make you sound like a wanker.

but "loo". i hate anyone who says "loo". urgh.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)
I say loo.
I also say lavatory and khazi. Aren't words fun!
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:14, Reply)
i don't mind the second 2
it's something about the word "loo". it sounds like a brisk middle aged home counties woman "just nipping to the loo" before going off to kill a fox or something. rank.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:14, Reply)
Oh right. I picked it up off my mum.
She's a middle-aged woman from the home counties.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:17, Reply)
see this [ ]
that's my case.

resting.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:21, Reply)
Fair.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:22, Reply)
same here

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:25, Reply)
OMG MAYBE WE'RE TWINS???!!

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:27, Reply)
i've met you both
i concur
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:28, Reply)
Bagsy not DeVito

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:36, Reply)
But your'e the one with the pony tail.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:39, Reply)
Both of them?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:31, Reply)
Yes

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:35, Reply)
i dont believe it

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:18, Reply)
why so meldrewmatic?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:19, Reply)
Ai dunt bah-LEEV uht

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:20, Reply)
I dont sound nuthin like that

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:44, Reply)
Algeon Winston Spencer Castleray Razzmatazz.
He was cool.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:28, Reply)
Meh.
He was OK I suppose.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:36, Reply)
hee hee

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:43, Reply)
Who?
Are you sure you don't mean Algernon Winston Spencer Churchill Disraeli Livingstone Razzamatazz?
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 15:21, Reply)
Has anyone said SEMEN PATEL?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:49, Reply)
well, now you've gone and done it.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:56, Reply)
Hello love

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 15:00, Reply)
I'm not happy twohats.
not happy at all.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 15:04, Reply)
Oh dear boy!
Why ever not?
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 15:13, Reply)
They've thrown me out of my gym,
all becuase i happened to mention my knee plates and leg pins and ankle pins from some surgery, they won't let me in until i get a letter from my doctor saying i'm safe to use equipment. It's like having to get a note from your mum for P.E.
It was embarrassing, swiped my card, the little machine went red, aand i was asked "to wait to speak to the manager" and was given basically a telling off for not telling them when i signed up.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 15:16, Reply)
What the fuck?
That's ridiculous! Surely there must be some small print somewhere that covers that sort of thing? Fucking bellends. Mrs Hats has nothing but problems with her gym. They don't give two shits about their customers...they just want the doh-re-mi.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 15:18, Reply)

Yes
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 14:58, Reply)
You just blew my mind

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 15:00, Reply)
SP.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 15:03, Reply)
SP

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 15:02, Reply)
*gasps*

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 15:03, Reply)
New thread please

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 15:00, Reply)

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