I have been approached about a job in Rwanda
To be CEO of a leisure & gambling chain. No way I’d do it. Where wouldn’t you want to work? Would you ever move abroad for a job?

Alt: What would you put in an ‘induction’ brief for new /OT posters? Not just the tired old memes, but stuff to encourage new people to join in here?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:30, 116 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

The developing world is where all the good shit's going down.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:32, Reply)

Not exactly a safe place to raise a family.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:34, Reply)

To be honest, you'll have a 24/7 armed security guards.
Which I'm guessing you don't have here so swings and roundabouts.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:36, Reply)

So did Michael but Apollonia still got blown up!

( Peej, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:39, Reply)

Ha ha ha
Apollina had cracking norks.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:39, Reply)

That she did

( Peej, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:42, Reply)

I don't get this reference.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:41, Reply)

In The Godfather, Michael Corleone escapes to Italy after killing a police captain. He meets & marries a local girl, who subsequently gets blown up in a car bomb. A bomb planted by one of their armed guards.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:45, Reply)

Oh yes, I forgot her name.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:46, Reply)

True, but what level of education & healthcare would I get for micro Battered in Rwanda?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:39, Reply)

Don't know, there's probably a international school for the super rich
they pop up everywhere. Health care is what you pay for to be honest.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:43, Reply)

Back in the seventies, mr b3th lived on a guarded secure compound in Nigeria.
He says they still had regular raids. One night, his neighbours on one side were murdered, and the ones on the other side were beaten and raped. He recons the only reason his house was missed out was because he'd bolted extra iron bars over the windows.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:42, Reply)

Sounds cool.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:47, Reply)

The man has cheated death so many times
I'm not convinced he isn't immortal.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:49, Reply)

Gutted.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:56, Reply)

I dont think I could ever work in America
I know its a petty stereo typing but as a group I find them quite insufferable. The flip side being that most of the individual yanks I have met have been really nice people.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:34, Reply)

Couldn't agree more
Americans, as individuals, are incredibly friendly and outgoing and generally find our accent charming. Americans as a people are boorish idiots with a perplexing definition of the word "football"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:42, Reply)

Gridiron is an excellent sport.
But it's not football since they do most of the playing with their hands.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Agreed on all counts
I love watching it but how the fuck they came up with the name is beyond me. The fact that there was already a sport called football smacks of either laziness or massive arrogance
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:05, Reply)

*insert "handegg" photo here*

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:48, Reply)

I couldn't handle the work ethic.
They expect you to do some, for a kick-off.
( Kroney, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:47, Reply)

I would move abroad for the right job but not whilst the kids are young
alt. Not sure, but the tired old memes are what keep me coming back. In fact the tired old memes are OT really. I mean describe Monty without a meme? You might be able too because you've met him but until I meet him I am going to still describe him as a Musical Elitist, racist, WWII veteran (on the wrong side), Gary Oldman lookalike, povvo with a perchant for massive drugs.
( Peej, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:35, Reply)

Shy of a colossal wage, I wouldn't do Telesales again.
Alt: A list of people to 2.0 until they are used to it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:36, Reply)

Have you ever ignored anyone?
I'd rather read the shit than not know. Its the not knowing that hurts the most.
( Peej, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:37, Reply)

I've ignored some cunt that posted massive images over and over again
but thats it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:40, Reply)

I've ignored people before, only ever for a day or so at a time, mind.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:41, Reply)

Have you ignored me for teasing you about your shit taste in movies?

( Peej, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:43, Reply)

I recon it'd more about stopping them from easily being able to read your posts.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:47, Reply)

Dunno why you'd ever need to ignore someone over here
You're all so nice to each other
It's like HAPPY FUN BOARD times round these parts
( Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:40, Reply)

you've clearly not been here for <img src="www.hotdogcock.com/montage.php"> o'clock

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:23, Reply)

I'm not moving back to France, that's about it for 'places I don't fancy working'
Oh and Liberia
Don't think I'd fancy Japan either
Any of the Spanish speaking countries can fuck off too
( Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:39, Reply)

I'd move to Japan like a shot
Its the nicest place I have ever been
( Peej, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:43, Reply)

Everything's tiny and polite
I'm huge and stupid
( Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:56, Reply)

I'm desperate to visit there.
I want to go to the ninja museum.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:56, Reply)

Lets go
Me and you! Japan won't know what's hit it!
( Peej, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:02, Reply)

YEAHHHHHHH

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:03, Reply)

I turned down a job in New York many years ago which was a really stupid thing to do
These days, I've been offered contracting stuff all over the place but at heart I'm a lazy cunt and don't want to do it.

Alt:
Watch for a few weeks to get the gist of what happens. Decide which persona they should have and stick to it. Don't take insults personally.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:39, Reply)

Right, right
Did this job offer run along the lines of;

"Dear Mr Battered,

We are excited to be offering you new opportunity in growing African business venture. For your small input we would be rewarding you many times over with large monies. Our company is exploring new avenues in the gambling marketplace, all you have to do to secure your lucrative role is send us your bank account details, we will then pay you CEO salary within 30 days."
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:45, Reply)

Nope. Genuine approach by this firm of headhunters:
www.heidrick.com/Pages/Default.aspx
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:46, Reply)

I'm not clicking that on my work PC you fool!
It probably gives it a virus that takes all my money and makes it start talking in spear-chucker!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Ha ha.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:49, Reply)

In all seriousness, based on what I know of Rwanda, you'd be mad to move there
especially, as you say, with a toddler to raise. Although if you really want to protect her from intolerant drug-runners with horribly ravaged and withered frames you might want to stop hanging out with Monty.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:51, Reply)

Two excellent points.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:52, Reply)

...and we're back to Swipey

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:55, Reply)

No, I said excellent, not saggy with areola the size of dinner plates.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Hey!
What did *I* do to get dragged into this?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:58, Reply)

Breasts are never far from our minds dear
*overcompensates*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:00, Reply)

well it is cold

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:01, Reply)

What's wrong with Rwanda, anyway?
Apart from the culturally recognised AIDS cure, I mean.
( Kroney, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:45, Reply)

I understand it's 'choc' full of coons.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:47, Reply)

*chuckle*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Their human rights record is pretty frightful for a start.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:47, Reply)

It can't been any worse than that Special AKA one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:50, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHA

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:52, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHA
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:53, Reply)

Please yourself.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:54, Reply)

Copper: Have you already got a Police record?
Miscreant: Well I've got Message in a Bottle on tape, does that count?

ROLF
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:53, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1890745
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:55, Reply)

We should be a double act
Like Hale & Pace or somthink.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:58, Reply)

Well hang on...
Don't try to run before you can walk.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:59, Reply)

I think that's something to aspire to - maybe if we could hone our skills on the live circuit for a few years first.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:02, Reply)

Not enough casinos

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:50, Reply)

Pakiland, Africa, Australia, China, the middle east.....
I'd move to Canada tomorrow if my kid could come too. I'd need to learn to drive though.

Altalt: I would give them a list of CHAT SUBJECTS which are verboten.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:46, Reply)

Canada's fucking shit.

( Kroney, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:48, Reply)

I've heard it's excellent.
I know a girl who was so desperate to move there, she got engaged to a Canadian bloke over the internet. When she went over there to meet him, she decided against it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:51, Reply)

Depending on where you go, it's either cheap land with no work and nothing to do
or it's precisely the same as every other city. Lots to do, lots of work and fucking expensive. And it's 40C in summer and -20 in winter.

And the people have a bigger chip on their shoulder than the Welsh.
( Kroney, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:53, Reply)

I thought their cities had a reputation for being super clean and they had a low crime rate and that?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:55, Reply)

The British have a reputation for being polite and unflappable.

( Kroney, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:56, Reply)

Oooh. Point.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:59, Reply)

The Maritimes Canadian accent is literally *the* most annoying accent in the world.
I could go on all day, I really could.
( Kroney, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:00, Reply)

Believe me, we know...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:01, Reply)

lol
half-arsed health care, weak-ass currency, poor, culturally insignificant, poutine, economy that was once the only G7 making a profit now gone to the dogs etc etc

And the fucking hillbillies
( Kroney, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:04, Reply)

Canada is doing ok ecconomically at the moment.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:09, Reply)

I spent some time in Red Deer Canada last year,
It was never a country that had even crossed my mind to visit, I was plesantly suprised how nice it is.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:13, Reply)

I have never been so bored by a foreign country.

( Kroney, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:27, Reply)

Just because they refuse to recognise an independent Quebec....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:51, Reply)

I'd possibly move back to Germany. I'd like to live there again.
Alt: don't be a dick. Don't troll. Don't try to join in with name calling before we've accepted you as one of our own.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:46, Reply)

Alt: I'd show them names and photos of all female posters so they know not to bother.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:49, Reply)

This is a good idea.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:50, Reply)

all both
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:51, Reply)

Harsh but fair.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:53, Reply)

I am a gent.
_██_
(ಠ_ృ)
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:54, Reply)

a g b

WE KNOW!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:57, Reply)

media.beta.photobucket.com/image/negro%20frowns/WildCatZA/5xhdzrguvqbzhy5.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:01, Reply)

YESSSSSSSSSSS

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:08, Reply)

A lesson learned through dedicated first-hand experience.

( Kroney, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:55, Reply)

Yeah, but she's moving in this weekend.
It's too late for him to escape now.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:56, Reply)

He's getting a new bath and a pallet of sand delivered this evening.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:58, Reply)

Lindsey hawker lulz

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:03, Reply)

I don't think we should be joking about her death.
She was hot.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:05, Reply)

hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:08, Reply)

Should have used the cold sand tap then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:08, Reply)

Alt: I'd provide them with a list of members whose comments are not to be taken seriously
so as to stop them running scared in the first day.

I say "List", I'd just link them to "any OT thread"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 9:57, Reply)

I'd move abroad for a job, if my girlfriend and her daughter would come too.
Wouldn't work in Africa - was offered a job in Liberia some years ago but there was absolutely no emergency repatriation plan, rubbish communication and the guy offering the job was somewhat dodgy. I'd love to work in the far east, Singapore for preference but I'd take China or Japan as well.
Alt: Beware, here there be dragons.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:05, Reply)

I was approached to do some coaching work out in the US in 1998,
I really wish I did it, but that meant I would have been out of the country for the birth of my son
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:09, Reply)

Alt: Keeping it simple
1. Post some stuff
2. Try not to be a prick

Most of us just about manage the first one.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:12, Reply)

3 special steps

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:12, Reply)

I have a mate who moved to Turkey to do the woodwork/french polishing on yachts
he quickly discovered that the reason the money was so good is only one type of person out there can afford a yacht. He loves it and has travelled all over the world getting paid big money by mafia types. He discovered that someone earning big money in turkey can do pretty much what they like. £15 is the usual bribe to a policeman to get them to ignore what you've done. Ok so thats not big money but its a days wage to them
( Peej, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:14, Reply)

An ex of mine used to know the Captain of the Royal Yacht Brittania
Nice gig!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:18, Reply)

I wonder *quite* what kind of work he was looking for
when he answered an ad looking for 'french polishing on a Turkish yacht'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:24, Reply)

I'd love to live in France
Places I wouldn't go; Africa, South America, Derby
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:17, Reply)

You really have a problem with Derby. Why?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:19, Reply)

It's a kickBall thing

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:19, Reply)

It's a fucking shithole full of cunts

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:21, Reply)

He he he ^This^

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:21, Reply)

Is it Wolves tomorrow?
Am getting a bit worried about this run of form, we might end up in the playoffs at this rate, and no-one wants that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:25, Reply)

Professor Kenny Martin has actually put a post on QOTW that doesn't mention Jessie.
I never thought this day would come.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:22, Reply)

Is it shit and dull though?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:22, Reply)

Well of course.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:24, Reply)

Is it about the bird he was knocking off whilst Jessie was still was still warm?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:23, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:24, Reply)

No, not about him murdering Jessie either.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:24, Reply)

\o/
Mrs Cow is not being made redundant or has had any hours cut


FUCK YEAH - PERONI O'CLOCK
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:23, Reply)

I've never worked in Exeter

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:25, Reply)

I've never been to me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:28, Reply)

Christ, WHY isn't there a "This is fucking shit" button?
I mean, we all know why, it'd just end up being used for relentless trolling, but sometimes it's just so appropriate.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:32, Reply)