www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1707477-to-wonder-how-you-stop-visitors-from-pooing-in-your-toilet
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:10, 160 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Gonz's mum is a bitch

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:12, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2T6YdEcp6w
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:14, Reply)

lollza

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:15, Reply)

I don't like pooing in other peoples' houses. Serious.
If I'm staying somewhere for a few days, I'll usually suggest we go to the pub at some point and then I'll poo there.

Trufax.
( Kroney, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:18, Reply)

Freak.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:19, Reply)

there is a delete button
use it. use it now.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:19, Reply)

It's too late
You are already thinking back to occasions when he has been at your flat and then suggested a trip to the pub.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:20, Reply)

haha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:21, Reply)

to be fair
i'd a billion times rather he shat in the pub than in my pretty bathroom
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:29, Reply)

Now I'm picturing him having a dump in the middle of the pub and I can't stop myself

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:30, Reply)

imagine him holding eye contact as he wipes

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:31, Reply)

In the bog, not on the bloody table, you sickos.

( Kroney, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:32, Reply)

does it matter where?
monty is now picturing you holding his eyes as you slowly drag the paper over your hairy brown balloon knot.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:35, Reply)

* boke *

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:36, Reply)

you've seen his chin
now imagine how hairy his arse must be
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:37, Reply)

* says hello again to breakfast *

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:38, Reply)

dude please

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:38, Reply)

:)

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)

Pool table

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:38, Reply)

L
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:38, Reply)

Thanks for that. So am I now.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:32, Reply)

That would explain the colour of his cardigan.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:33, Reply)

too late

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:34, Reply)

We've gone to the pub repeatedly
Never at my suggestion, though.
( Kroney, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:29, Reply)

She could smell your pre-shit-farts

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:31, Reply)

nah
that was just his cardigan
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:32, Reply)

I've grabbed it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:20, Reply)

That's because you like to keep them in freezer bags.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:22, Reply)

Lawrence from Felt/Denim/Gokart Mozart apparently wouldn't let anyone use his toilet.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:19, Reply)

Cool story bro.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:19, Reply)

oh man
Tony Wright from horrendously shit 90s pop rockers Terrorvision is shit at pool and shorter than me.

Anyone else got any fascinating facts or anecdotes about forgotten 'musicians'?


Monty?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:25, Reply)

I once drank tequila with him, fact fans

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:26, Reply)

I had a pint with him before a Laika Dog gig.
My mate Pete is good friends with him, so we went on the GL.

Unsurprisingly, his band was shit, just like Terrorvision were.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:33, Reply)

He was one of the regular guests on early series Buzzcocks
I always thought he seemed alright.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:40, Reply)

Same here, seems a reasonable chap

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:43, Reply)

Bit 'northern', but you can't have everything.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:44, Reply)

Surely he's a bit 'southern' to you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:44, Reply)

Bit, yeah.
Saying that, you've never heard me speak, have you? I'm often mistaken for a southern twat.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:46, Reply)

Are you a not-very-Scottish Scotch then?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:47, Reply)

No, I am.
I just didn't grow up in Scotland, on account of my dad being one of those soldiery types.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Ah yeah, I knew that.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:49, Reply)

Stalker.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:51, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1890886
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:52, Reply)

so am I :'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:47, Reply)

I think, in your case,
the 'southern' part is incidental.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Nah, you sound like Ronnie Corbett
Look a bit like him too.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:49, Reply)

It's the golfa look, yeah?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:50, Reply)

he's a nice guy.
And tiny.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:43, Reply)

Like you and Battered.
But nice.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:49, Reply)

Ben Adams from poor man's Boyzone, A1
is extremely popular in Norway and recently won their version of Dancing on Ice.

He is also a prick
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:28, Reply)

this is internet gold on so many levels.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:30, Reply)

all true, he's a mate of a mate of mine, they grew up together

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:32, Reply)

LTJ Bukem turned up at an after-club party at my friend's flat.
He cheesily sex pested her.

Don't blame him though, she's fit as fuck.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:36, Reply)

Who the fuck is that?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:37, Reply)

drum & bass DJ
Known for the Progression Sessions mixes, Good Looking records and impeccable mixing skills.

Nakers knows who I mean.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:38, Reply)

*fives*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)

Drum and Bass legend

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)

Logical Progression fives

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:43, Reply)

leg bell

'intelligent drum'n'bass' my fucking ringpiece
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:45, Reply)

Jumping Jack Frost and Bryan Gee left death threats on my pal Hamish's answerphone.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)

I've done coke with Nicky Blackmarket

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:41, Reply)

+c e
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:43, Reply)

Bryan

Dustin
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:42, Reply)

Ian Brown left a death threat on my pal Neil's answerphone.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:44, Reply)

*gets the F.E.A.R.*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:44, Reply)

'fookin amateurs'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:45, Reply)

Hey! I'm not forgotten!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:31, Reply)

Thanks "The Chi-Lites"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:32, Reply)

or Leftfield

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:34, Reply)

Amazulu?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:35, Reply)

Oh really? I'm a Glaswegian

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:37, Reply)

*Michael Caines*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:37, Reply)

zulu deus. Amadeus. Amadeus. Amadeus. Amadeus. Amadeus. Oh rock me Amadeus.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:37, Reply)

+eus you mong

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)

I like how you spelled that right the first time
then went on to spell it wrong a further six times.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)

i also enjoyed this

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)

EDITED. Just to shut up you.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:40, Reply)

tanhsk

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:41, Reply)

Yeah, that'll totally work.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:42, Reply)

Worth a try.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:43, Reply)

Not on this board son

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:43, Reply)

Oi.
I never said a word about this morning's board twattery, did I?

No. So be nice.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:47, Reply)

What twattery?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:47, Reply)

I am nice!
I didn't post any threads did I?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Me neither!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:49, Reply)

Nor me!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:50, Reply)

In that case,
I will continue to let you send me free stuff.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:50, Reply)

OK then
Has it turned up?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:51, Reply)

Not yet.
But our postman gets up later than I do. Don't usually see the post till after lunch.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:54, Reply)

About that
Shouldn't you be out there cleaning that lot up?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:48, Reply)

STAY ABOUT FROM THOSE THREADS

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:49, Reply)

Why?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:50, Reply)

Dunno
It's not really clear what your duties are.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 11:00, Reply)

Respect (ama)dues

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:46, Reply)

How's Nigella? Caught up with her on the phone recently?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:49, Reply)

Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues.
Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues.Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues.
Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues.Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues.
Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues.Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues.
Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues.Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues.
Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues.Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues.
Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues.Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues.
Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues.Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues.
Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues.Amadues. Amadues. Amadues. Amadues.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:52, Reply)

PS Amadues.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:52, Reply)

rofldues

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:53, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1421483
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:54, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1898463
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:57, Reply)

Ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:57, Reply)

I choose to read this as Gok Wan

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:24, Reply)

ha, the one about the person being shown around the house that smelt of poo
and the person viewing bought the house at 10k over the asking price. fuck the smell of fresh coffee to sell my house, i'll just take a massive dump before a viewing
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:20, Reply)

A new business venture for Gonz?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:23, Reply)

Wait a minute
Why would you pay 10k over the asking price? Is it just me, or does that not make sense?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:24, Reply)

Some kind of anal bidding war

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:27, Reply)

i don't think much of anything on that page makes sense

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:30, Reply)

I'm inclined to agree

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:32, Reply)

It was open viewing so I'm assuming it's "up here"
as in Scotland.

House prices here can be "offers around" or "offers over" and you usually have to pay more than the asking price if the place goes to a closing date as it becomes a sealed bid auction.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 11:44, Reply)

"My Granny knew the otter lady!"

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:23, Reply)

a guy I work with can't poo unless he's in his own house,
And has to strip naked to poop.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:28, Reply)

It's really you isn't it?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:28, Reply)

I was enjoying that last thread, and then you start a shit thread.
Why?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:42, Reply)

Wait, what?
Completely naked? But why?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:28, Reply)

i know someone who'll only poo at home

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:29, Reply)

As long as home is Paul's house, then I'm good

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:30, Reply)

Wherever I lay my hat, that's where I shit.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:33, Reply)

Don't shit in your hat.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:42, Reply)

Hey Nakkers my home broadband is down, can you help?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:33, Reply)

He's bringing his ethernet cable down now
Should be long enough
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:34, Reply)

Fucking hell, this doesn't mean the M1 is going to be dug up again does it?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:35, Reply)

Yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:35, Reply)

what seems to be the problem?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:34, Reply)

His home broadband is down, can you help?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:35, Reply)

borad?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:35, Reply)

yatzemash!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:36, Reply)

Ninja idiot.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:36, Reply)

Eez vey nays

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)

Mazeltov!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:46, Reply)

Amadues?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:48, Reply)

It's not working I turned it off and on again.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:48, Reply)

i once did a viewing as an estate agent where the tenant was clearly having a shit when we turned up
he appeared at the top of the stairs to see me and about 10 people ready to look round. there was nothing he could do. as the first one headed into the bathroom, he went to say something, held his hand up, then just sank back onto the sofa.

it smelled like 10 rotting squirrel corpses had been decomposing up his arse. he must have been mortified. imagine having 11 strangers coming into your bathroom straight after that...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:37, Reply)

your estate agents are kinky
bathroom mouth
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:40, Reply)

this post is most unlike you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:41, Reply)

Your Move - Bukkake Edition

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:42, Reply)

Ejaculate to the Country

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:44, Reply)

Manipulation Manipulation Manipulation

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:46, Reply)

Well done
been trying to think of one for that
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Hand designs

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:50, Reply)

hahahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:51, Reply)

I thought it was a bit weak TBH

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:51, Reply)

DIY SOS

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:51, Reply)

Buy it, Sell it, Wank it

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:52, Reply)

Homos under the hammer

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Ho's under the hammer

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:50, Reply)

Kirstie's Homemade Porn

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:51, Reply)

Cunt Horse Rescue

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:51, Reply)

HAHAHAHA

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:51, Reply)

I have to admit it tickled me somewhat typing it in

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:52, Reply)

EXTREME WANKOVER

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:54, Reply)

60 Minute Gaycover

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:56, Reply)

The Million Pound Prostate Experiment

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 10:58, Reply)

A wank in the sun

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 14 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)

Thanks for the offer, but I'll pass.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)

Soz to be the bearer guys but this is shit

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 11:02, Reply)

Sorry everyone
I'm going to DMA and possible KM.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 14 Mar 2013, 11:04, Reply)