I don't really want to have that thread open, with that picture when I'm at work.
Just nipped to the bank to deposit a sizable amount of cash, and Barclays now have these creepy greeter people. The dude was all like "can i help you sir" and I said, well, I'd quite like to go upstairs and deposit some cash, I don't want to do it down here in the public area, as being seen with this much cash is never a good idea. Especially as I regularly take a lot of cash from work to a different bank, and you can easily become a target.
And he sort of looked me up and down (not one the bar today, so i am admittedly a bit scruffy) and sort of snorted "Can't be that much cash can it sir?"
He eventually apologised after i had a go at him, and was very helpful when he discovered how much there was.
When have you been treated like scum by some jumped up greeter or doorman or wanker member of the customer service industry?

Alt: I had to write S.M.A.R.T goals this morning, that was a bit shit. And totally pointless, what pointless tasks does your job ask of you?

AltAlt: Buses are smelly fucking tramp wagons aren't they?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 15:54, 121 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

FIIIIRRRSSSSSTTTTTTTT
Ha beat you Fogsey
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 15:56, Reply)

I had a bad experience on a bus once.
True story.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 15:57, Reply)

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:02, Reply)

oh man, did you have to travel a few extra stops due to a stubborn erection?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:12, Reply)

I've taken to being very rude to chuggers.
They act all surprised, it's lol
( Kroney, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 15:58, Reply)

they really are horrid creatures,
some bloke was moaning about being told to go to the auto drop cheque machines in the corner, that took longer than being in the queue, and the guy was like "i'm really sorry sir, we will speed them up" but clearly didn't mean a word coming out of his stupid face.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:26, Reply)

Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 15:58, Reply)

Rubbish, you totally want that picture of me
You're going to save it to your slowly-increasing wankbank of sexy pics. It's okay, I would too.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 15:58, Reply)

I bet you fuck pigs

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:01, Reply)

How much cash was there?
Did you get it out and wave it in his face?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:01, Reply)

Two very different questions there
Oh, by "it" you mean the cash.

Not his penis.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:04, Reply)

just short of 30k

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:24, Reply)

A mere pittance. Battered wouldn't even get out of bed for that

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:34, Reply)

Battered's lost more than that down the back of his sofa.

( Kroney, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:35, Reply)

when you share a flat and bed with 6 other men, you're bound to lose some change here and there

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:38, Reply)

Eh?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:01, Reply)

Hello there Hatsy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:06, Reply)

Montelle!
How the devil are you?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:07, Reply)

Not too bad at all, my dear chum.
Been a mental day for me today, sick/absent staff, THE FUCKING LOT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:10, Reply)

Any celebs on the phone today?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:17, Reply)

Not today, no.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:22, Reply)

Sick?? PRICKS more like!!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:27, Reply)

You got it!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:36, Reply)

yeah,
i just didn't want to be in the frisbee penis thread.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:24, Reply)

Fair enough so

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:26, Reply)

I'm not clicking that thread,
is the tip hooked for a more reliable spin?
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:27, Reply)

Used to happen to me with traffic police when I was younger.
Had a brand new three series as a company car when I was 22. Regularly stopped in it. The question that used to really fuck me of was 'is this your dad's car?'.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:06, Reply)

To be fair though, they don't expect to see a booster seat on the driver's side.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:08, Reply)

One of my pals used to tease me for my arcane music tastes
He said 'I bet your neighbours bang on your door and when you answer it, say 'can you ask your dad to turn his music down please?'

Still, he's a fat cunt so I still win.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:08, Reply)

just here to complain about pics that aren't SFW really
sigh
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:07, Reply)

Your face isn't SFW.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:09, Reply)

Luckily we have a mod to deal with that sort of thing.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:10, Reply)

wait, you complaining or me complaining?
I'm fine with them as normally I'm in the office, but i'm down in the pub today and naked men on the laptop are not welcome.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:27, Reply)

altalt: yer
PS hello there young master Windlington
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:07, Reply)

Nice of you to turn up.
Taking a page out of b3th's work ethic?
( Kroney, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:08, Reply)

Quite the opposite.
I've actually been doing my paid job today. I won't do that again in a hurry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:09, Reply)

Sounds rubbish.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:10, Reply)

I NO!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:10, Reply)

You missed the picture of my mattress :(

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:11, Reply)

This is very upsetting news

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:12, Reply)

thank god search works eh?!?!?
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1911874
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:13, Reply)

oh man, you went for blue stripes
don't you fucking know anything?
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:16, Reply)

I'm with Gluey here.
Blue stripes? Seriously??? They saw you coming eh. 'Here's that prick with the 2" TV and the 1980s Nokia phone that everyone's been laughing at. Go on, see if you can sell him that blue striped mattress, I bet you can. He's such a massive mug I'm surprised he doesn't have a gigantic ceramic handle sticking out of his back. What. A. Cunt.'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:25, Reply)

:(

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:36, Reply)

:o)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:38, Reply)

If it helps, I've barely done a thing today.
Although I do keep remembering things I should have done.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:11, Reply)

NICE 1!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:12, Reply)

I only hope one of those things wasn't visit the toilet

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:13, Reply)

I'm hungover.
office girl can drink.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:11, Reply)

I have a hangover too. I, myself, can drink.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:13, Reply)

Well, I'm alright at it
but, and you'll understand my predicament here, you have to be able to keep up with some skinny girl who's half your age. Otherwise it looks like you're getting her drunk on purpose and it looks bad and the police come and you have to explain that no her parents don't know she's out that late because they're dead and no that's nothing to do with me and oh god oh god oh god.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:16, Reply)

hahaha
I hear ya, bro. I hear ya.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:26, Reply)

I believe the correct response here is NONCE^^^

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:29, Reply)

Alright Boyce,
we still on for the 4th? drinky drinky glug glug.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:27, Reply)

This one time I was being looked down upon by the hoity-toity assistant in a posh shop.
Then Richard Gere came in and said he was going to spend loads of cash on me if I sucked his cock or something and it all turned out alright in the end.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:07, Reply)

/Star Wars

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:07, Reply)

"Yurty Woman"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:10, Reply)

and then I made out with my sister
something something Forest Moon of Endor.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:09, Reply)

haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:11, Reply)

Yeah I wanted to end with this, but couldn't remember it or be bothered to search for it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:12, Reply)

It's one of my favourite things.

( Kroney, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:12, Reply)

Alright 'Sound of Music'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:27, Reply)

I got manhandled to a self service thing in HSBC by two lady greeters who then pressed all the buttons for me
I felt both slightly annoyed about being treated like a child and excited about how close to a lady I was!
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:10, Reply)

So you went to the bank wearing a dress.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:17, Reply)

Ha ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:18, Reply)

I use the internet for all my banking
Hopefully putting cunts like him out of a job.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:13, Reply)

Barclays are bastards.
I've moved to the Co-op now, much better.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:18, Reply)

communist

( Kroney, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:25, Reply)

they're alright on the phone, and online,
but the people they employ are horrid.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:27, Reply)

I spoke to Barclaycard on the phone recently
and the chap I spoke to (in India maybe?) was named 'Ronaldo Fernandez'. Funny, because he didn't have the latin twang that you imagine a Ronaldo Fernandez to have.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:42, Reply)

Best one I ever had was 'hallo my name is Steve Davis'.
I properly laughed at him.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:47, Reply)

A friend of mine worked for the UK arm of a call centre company
He said they had about 12 David Beckhams and 8 Alan Shearers in their India office.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:54, Reply)

no wonder no one could understand anything said

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:56, Reply)

this is funny yeah, because normally you can't understand what's said as the telephone operator is Indian and as such has a thick Indian accent
but what I'm inferring is that as the workers were called Alan Shearer and Davis Beckham then they were hard to understand due to their respective estuary and Geordie accents!!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:02, Reply)

Wow, what are the chances of that?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:00, Reply)

I had some Indian fella giving it the 'hallo my name is Dave' the other day.
I insisted he call me Sanjay. When he said 'That is not your name' I pointed out he started the whoke fake-name thing first and no, I didn't have time to do his survey.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:56, Reply)

You didn't really did you Jeff
it's just something you read on the internet ISN'T IT
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:07, Reply)

Don't tell me Jeff is a liar?
That shatters my whole world, LiC.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:10, Reply)

I know what you mean!
When I go in the bank to change up all my begging money they look at me like I'm a right cunt. That said, I am a right cunt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:30, Reply)

a guy i went to school with has started changing up his begging money in my pub,
it's really fucking awkward.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:31, Reply)

I know a chap who was a pupil of my father's.
His parents own practically half the Isle of Man and I last saw him begging in Eastleigh. This is the one who sucked a dog's cock for a wrap of speed that it turned out didn't actually exist. Oh drugs :o(
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:36, Reply)

i lolled a little bit at this

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:41, Reply)

Alright Fogo-stick?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:43, Reply)

yeah thanks, you?
trying to re-write my CV, hence fucking about on here
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:44, Reply)

Pissed off enough to be looking to leave your job then?
Had a great weekend, fun with the nipper and went to the William Morris museum yesterday, then got pissed up. All jolly good fun.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:46, Reply)

sounds it.
needed a move for a while so actually starting the ball rolling, could take some time after all. Although Battered has offered me a role, but it doesn't pay enough
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:49, Reply)

My problem is that I would love to leave my industry altogether but earn too much to just move and stay the same or more money, ain't happening.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:50, Reply)

well yeah, I'm looking at an industry-ish change so will need to work hard to keep the pay up to scratch

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:52, Reply)

I can assure you that at the time the whole of Winchester lolled a lot.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:43, Reply)

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1699309-Anal-would-it-have-come-up-by-now-if-it-was-going-to
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:37, Reply)

There's a subtle Semen Patel in there

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:39, Reply)

I saw that and did a - what's the term for when you lol but it's not out loud: 'LNOL'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:42, Reply)

Its ...

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:55, Reply)

Chuckles Inwardly Momentarily
You should finish all your posts with CIM.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:08, Reply)

hahahahah
'what happens if there is a poo in there. Oh can't believe I'm typing this!'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:41, Reply)

Chutney mining

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:56, Reply)

I can’t help but think the poster is a troll, and laughing to every reply

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:48, Reply)

also, they've been together 7 months.
I reckon I've got enough biology here to point out that she's at least 2 months early to be posting on mumsnet.

I think hh is right. Bumtroll.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:09, Reply)

the 5pm Capt Twilight zone

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 16:59, Reply)

I've got to piss off and do the work of three people now :o(

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:05, Reply)

it's gonna take ages to wash the jizz out of your hair : (

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:07, Reply)

Guess what?!?!?!
My TV delivery was fucked up again.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:05, Reply)

did it turn up with blue stripes over it?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:06, Reply)

They just ordered a pickup of the wrong TV not a delivery of the correct TV...

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:08, Reply)

do these guys come in a van with the box of the correct tv, but then the one inside is made from balsawood?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:25, Reply)

Rofflezing.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:11, Reply)

LOL

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:46, Reply)

* hotel bar smirk *

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:47, Reply)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:07, Reply)

Haha
Who's got a shit phone and no telly, it's chompeee, chompeee.
Who's got a shit phone and no telly, it's chompeee, chompeee,
Who's got a shit phone and no telly, yes, that's right, it's compeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeee
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:33, Reply)

Seems to me as though this phone deal of his worked out really well.

( Kroney, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:39, Reply)

*helicopters*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:24, Reply)

Alright Nakers.
I don't feel very well.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:27, Reply)

still?!
hearty cheesy meal, plenty of orange drink and an early night for you young man
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:33, Reply)

It's just tiredness, really.
The rest doesn't last very long, but the tiredness goes on forever. Or at least until bedtime.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:38, Reply)

this is a sign of age I'm afriad

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:39, Reply)

My only comfort is that og is just as bad.
But then she gets to go home half an hour earlier than me and lives forty minutes and 32 miles closer to work than me.

Woe.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:41, Reply)

just go and stay at hers, then
problem solved.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:55, Reply)

I've made the scary picture go away now.
Sorry, I would have done it earlier, but I was out at the hospital.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:33, Reply)

how were the kmidneys?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:35, Reply)

She's looking much better.
Kidneys not as devilled.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 17:53, Reply)