So, there are actually some EDl flag wavers in the pub.
I'm not terribly comfortable with them being here, but so far have done nothing to get kicked out.
One of them just asked me "why, the more liberal you get, is it that you get stupider?"
Weird bald old red booted idiots.

Alt: What are you doing to celebrate St George?

altalt: Favourite place to spend a sunny afternoon?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:38, 97 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

...to which you replied 'more stupid, you mean?'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:39, Reply)

I ent even sure if this is right but it sounds like a fight-starter to me
and for that reason I am in like Flynn.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:40, Reply)

i think one of them just said something about a rape gang,
and muslamics
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:47, Reply)

Muslamics
Irish muslims?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:48, Reply)

it's alright,
they've gone to wave their flags at traffic for a bit
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:56, Reply)

I hope they don't spot any non-white cars

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:58, Reply)

Try asking them why they're celebrating a foreigner who stole a job from a TROO ENGLISHMAN.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 18:36, Reply)

altalt: Lazing

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:41, Reply)

in the summertime?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:47, Reply)

Someone's taken all my dough but it ent the taxman.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:51, Reply)

Alt: eff that, yo

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:41, Reply)

I'm getting my rage on at work
Fucking idiots

Alt:
YM

AltAlt:
YM
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:42, Reply)

Down my way is the (now closed down) 'British Lion' pub.
When I first moved to the area my bro and I dared each other to go for beers in there. I was absolutely shit-scared and we only made it to one pint before chipping. Bearing in mind that
a) Both of us are over six foot
b) Both of us are white Britons
c) at the time I had a Grade 0 skinhead

...the fact that we both feared for our lives gives you an idea of the atmosphere, which I would call 'malevolent'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:44, Reply)

Pussy

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:46, Reply)

they just look like the sort of bloke that would have no qualms putting my head through a window a couple of times.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:48, Reply)

The Shakespeare on Bethnal Green Rd is pretty fucking scary too.
Decor: woodchip. Two paintings on the wall

1) The Queen
2) The Krays
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:50, Reply)

So just one of the Kray brothers and two Queens.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:53, Reply)

Ho HO!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:58, Reply)

alt: I would go and fight a dragon, but I can't be arsed to go to Western

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:47, Reply)

Alt: Working my pert little buttocks off
Altalt: beach, county pub, mountain top just not inside an air conditioned office with the blinds closed like today
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:48, Reply)

Bunch of wankers
Alt: Nothing

AltAlt: Either my back garden, Formby beach or the beer garden at the Prince William in Dalton.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:50, Reply)

I'm having beef and chips for dinner.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:52, Reply)

Gaaaaay.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:52, Reply)

Hang on, not that one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:53, Reply)

You mean delicious.
Which sounds a bit gay.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:55, Reply)

...aaaaand we're back to 'gay'.
How's it going, me old pal?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:57, Reply)

s'alright thanks
really busy at work, plus this place has got proper shit recently.

How's you?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:58, Reply)

Fucking A1 ta.
It really is uber-bent in here nowadays innit. Business as usual eh.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:00, Reply)

I've got an evening pass to go and see Andy Cairns at the Borderline in May
I'm considering being really cheeky and seeing if I can sneak in early for a quick Tayyabs/Needoo first.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:02, Reply)

I read that as Andy Crane
And wondered what he did after the broom cupboard.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:04, Reply)

Played gigs at the Borderline.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:05, Reply)

I suspect he's still in there.
Being bummed half to death by Andy 'Andi' Peters.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:05, Reply)

The last Needoo I had was one of the best I've ever had.
Them niggaz is KILLIN IT bruv.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:06, Reply)

I could just go there on my own
order two large portions of dry meat and two portions of lamb chops and then wallow in my own filth all night.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:09, Reply)

I've done a solo Tayyabs a couple of times before.
They gave me a large dry meat once by mistake and told me to keep it. I ate the fucking lot and felt most unwell, yet strangely triumphant when I polished it off.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:11, Reply)

It would be a very difficult choice if you could only have one dish and have to chose between the chops & the dry meat.
Tough call. Not sure what I would do. Maybe the chops.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:13, Reply)

Why would that situation ever occur though?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:14, Reply)

Hypothetical innit.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:18, Reply)

Pretty stupid to think about things like that though
It's like saying "What if you were in a room with Monty and you only had two CDs and they were both things that he liked, which one would you play?"

Never gonna happen.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:21, Reply)

Ok, put it another way. Which do you prefer; dry meat or chops?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:28, Reply)

Dry meat for me.
The thought of walking out of there not having had any is most distressing, hypothetical or not. I just need to get my spastic kid over her aversion to chilis so I get her down there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:22, Reply)

She doesn't like chillies? Was it really worth all that effort to see her?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:27, Reply)

Who'd have ever thought a child wouldn't have had the chance to grow their plate to include spicey food by age 5

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:29, Reply)

Terrible parenting.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:30, Reply)

I hope you rub tasbasco into your wife's nipples to get mini al accustomed nice and early

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:31, Reply)

Why would Al's child go anywhere near my wife's tits?
You bent spastic.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:33, Reply)

I'm on my phone and its very bright out here alright?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:34, Reply)

* belms *

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:35, Reply)

I had a customer called Mrs Bellm the other day.
And today, one called Richard Hannay. What kind of cunt parents must he have?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:37, Reply)

Dick hanney? I dunt geddit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:38, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1941578
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:39, Reply)

He is John Buchan's literary hero.
No reason why those classic adventure stories, one of which (The 39 Steps) has only been made into what I think is FOUR film versions at the last count, would have come up on your radar, I suppose.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:41, Reply)

I think I read that once at school

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:42, Reply)

It's kind of like being called Bond and naming your son James

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:46, Reply)

Four film versions and a current West End production,
posters of which are plastered all over the Tube network.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:47, Reply)

Oh Nakers :o(

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:50, Reply)

The fucking Deacon.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:50, Reply)

Such a bent spastic.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:42, Reply)

Most bent of all the spastics.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:45, Reply)

Oh Nakers. Nakers, Nakers Nakers......
*shakes head sadly*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:36, Reply)

My brain is fucking fried an I've to shit loads to do when I get home : (

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:37, Reply)

I buy my plates fully-grown from John Lewis, I don't make my kid grow them.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:38, Reply)

I thought dinner plates grew up from side plate?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:40, Reply)

hahah u iz well posh, side plates? wot r they??????

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:41, Reply)

John Lewis

Poundland
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:41, Reply)

It really is shit here these days.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:03, Reply)

It's so shit I'm actually glad to see you're here Jeff.
How are you? How's the mrs?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:04, Reply)

It's bullies like you that ruin the Internet for others.
But in answer to your question, everything is fine and dandy thanks.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:08, Reply)

Glad to hear it.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:09, Reply)

I hate those Electronic Data Interchange cunts as well, mate.
With their flags and all that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:52, Reply)

Have you got any black bar staff? If so, insist that they and they alone serve them.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:54, Reply)

Slavery isn't on anymore
Just saying
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:55, Reply)

So you think Windy will have an easier ride with the EDL if he plays the 'ha ha, look at me controlling my slave'
Card.'

Controversial, but it might just work.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:56, Reply)

Leroy MARRS!!!!!!

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:57, Reply)

In Oxford?
hahahahahahah
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:57, Reply)

There's got to be a couple of 'tokens' reading African Studies or some such shit.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:59, Reply)

Like that fellow off of Rising Damp.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:00, Reply)

Exactly.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:05, Reply)

I think there are a lot of unemployed people making a noise at the United Services Club jsut down the road.
I've never seen so many women with tattoos as I have down there of a summer evening.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 16:56, Reply)

phwoarrr

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:00, Reply)

Where's my fucking train you cunts?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:28, Reply)

It's ok I've found it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:35, Reply)

You're pulling a train?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:35, Reply)

We refer to your wife as "the locomotive" on account of her weighing several tonnes and having 100 men ride her at once

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:39, Reply)

Nice retort.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:42, Reply)

YM is the local caboose
always round the back, bit grimy and rattly round the back doors but goes all the way.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:43, Reply)

Your mum's the coal wagon
Filthy and full to the brim with the work of sixty Welshmen.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:46, Reply)

Ha ha ha. POTD.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:47, Reply)

*golf claps*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:56, Reply)

I don't know what an eversleigh is.

( Kroney, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:45, Reply)

Insurance company innit?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:46, Reply)

I have thankfully never encountered these creeps. What do they stand for?
Alt. Nothing.

Alt.Alt. A nice park. Preferably with a water feature or a nice beer garden. Hate the beach.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:36, Reply)

Racism

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:41, Reply)

Skinheads and the like?
I had the image of moustache twirlers.

Braindead morons with nothing but brawn. If this were medieval they'd be chained up and used for entertainment.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:42, Reply)

Parliament under the name UKIP.
RIGHT KIDS?????
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:42, Reply)

BNP4EVA

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:43, Reply)

alright Ben Elton calm down.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Apr 2013, 17:43, Reply)