Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Here is your monthly Kroney threadfeel free to defecate in it and mate with your family members, as this thread is French?
alt: are you french?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:01,
202 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
Have you been on the merlot again?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:02,
Reply)
plus the necklaces won't fit over your northern distended heads(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:08,
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You'll CATCH me out soon enough(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:09,
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i'm surprised to moved to MK then roundabouts in Paris are terrifyingEDIT: could any two trowns be more different? unless war torn etc
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:04,
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this^How 30 people a day dont get killed on the Champs Elysee Arc De Triomphe roundabout is beyond me
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:05,
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Having driven in Bucharest, I can guarantee that the Champs Eysee is a cakewalk.(
Kroney, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:06,
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yeah, but MK's only a city on paper reallyno one believes in it
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:09,
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if you were a paki taxi driver and i was pissed out of my head id deffo common assault you for looking at my pissed mate with no coherent recollection of events just for starting this thread(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:05,
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I saw a woman pissing upright in a Welsh public urinal, once.Couldn't work out why she kept winking at me until I realised I had such a bongle on that I was pissing clear over the wall.
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Kroney, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:05,
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so you like space docking AND piss play?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:09,
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monthly kroney threadsounds like another "dolmio day" euphemism
"why are you so miserable?"
"it's that kroney time of the month" or "time of the kroney innit"
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:07,
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About every month or so, somebody gets drunk enough to sleep with me.The saying comes from the PKD* they experience afterwards.
*Post Kroney Depression/Disappointment
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Kroney, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:09,
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is that why disasterprone killed himself?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:11,
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He was a vampire innit?They are allergic to garlic
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:12,
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that's the method, not the motivationSome inspector clooso you'd make
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:13,
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Are you sure you aren't related to Gonz?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:15,
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:15,
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I'm not really sure if I dare ask for an explination(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:17,
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Please explain it to the rest of the class.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:17,
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after many mash-ups of his keyboardhe finally managed something that made me crook half a smile
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:18,
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Are you sure it isn't that it has been mind-numbingly shit on here today.I mean, PPI CHAT? Some esoteric server CHAT? Seriously?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:20,
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maybe that's why he made me smilebecause it's all relative
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:26,
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all my bowls are inside my body thank you very much(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:18,
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I'm just off to go boweling(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:19,
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I keep mine in the cupboard(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:19,
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What's your feelings on side plates?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:22,
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I lean to the left on the side plate issue(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:23,
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disappointment is better than pain and begging someone to stop(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:12,
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I know!I heard grace is a kind and considerate lover.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:20,
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That's amazing(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:23,
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she won't last longthey never do. he'll be onto furry little buttplug number three soon enough.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:25,
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In two years time he'll be onto horse(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:26,
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I like to sing to myself "Stinky, stinky, Breeeeeeee" to the Magic E tune.I love a really strong ripe brie.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:08,
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que?i would like an asparagoose and obojean risotto, followed by a vanilla moose
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:15,
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oh manI missed out on a PPI subthread.
For anyone debating whether or not it's worth it, interest is paid at 8%, and if you take your complaint to FOS then it costs the provider 900 quid, meaning that if the potential compensation is less than 900 quid it's in their interests to pay it out as quickly as they can.
HTH
(, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:13, Reply)
Yeah I'm thinking about putting you on ignore.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:19,
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to be honest it's only relatively recently I can tell the difference between nakkers and dozer.(, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:29, Reply)
i heard that you know nothing about mortgages, loans or the housing market(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:19,
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Oh what a giveawayThis here is the no different from Battered pulling Kitty's pigtails and running away.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:21,
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i didn't say i thought iti said that i remembered a highly amusing subthread on the topic
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:22,
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Pretty sure there was nothing amusing about it.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:24,
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I like France. Alt: no.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:22,
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i like a lot of their cheesenot brie though. that white chewy rindy shit can go fist itself right in the canonbear.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:23,
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I read that as canoebear for some reason(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:23,
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Can I shock you?I like France.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:24,
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I can feel one in the stink(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:24,
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see, I've seen it posted here often enough, but I don't know it's origins. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:32,
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no reason to, they're a lovely bunch(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:40,
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my name is jacob dyer and i live in bristol. it is fantastic. i sound like barnaby bear. i like barnaby bear. one time he went to france. i went to france. but some kid burnt my neck. i didnt like it(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:30,
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Almost as good as:b3ta.com/questions/randomactsofevil/post1537114#post1537152
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:32,
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Treeki was brilliantHe should post more.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:41,
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that's some of the best sarcasm ever(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:48,
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it's a b3ta thinggoogle can't help you now
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:33,
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do you not like it anymore? (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:25,
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what did France do to upset you? Want me to punch France for you?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:31,
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this should be your new sigwith the theme tune from "friends"
smelly slut, smelly slut
what are they feeding you?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:34,
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I've decided I don't like London. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:42,
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Tell me whytee hee
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:43,
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expensive, smelly, full of people dressed like wankers, the tube is full of tourists, I think if I lived there, and knew the best ways to get places and the good places to go I'd be alright, but as a visitor uninterested in the normal architecture gawking, I just feel like I'm getting fleeced.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:47,
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It's a better place to live in than to visit(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:48,
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I think it would be a great place to live if you were fabulously wealthy.No point being in the best city in the world if you can't do anything.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:50,
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There are loads of free things to doI mean fucking LOADS. It cracks me up the way vast sums are ploughed into giving London kids stuff to - try growing up in Winchester you fucking knobs. Apart from drinking, drugs and sex there was literally NOTHING to do in your teenage years. Apart from starting a band. Luckily for me those were the only things I was interested in anyway so it worked out just fine.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:57,
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see, you say there are loads of things, but I don't know about them. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:06,
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Free gigs, art galleries, museums, courses, classes, beautiful parks.....It's lucky for me that there are such things cos I am well broke and keeping my kid entertained would ruin me.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:10,
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I guess not everyone can be lucky enough to grow up in Coventry.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:07,
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i lived here on £100 a week as a student in 1996and i live here now on my salary, and i've had a lot of fun both ways. there's always something different to do if you want it. always.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:02,
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Student life is very different though.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:08,
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100 a week is quite a lot. Unless of course you're paying rent out of it, then it's Fuck all.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:10,
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These sound like the same things that the people who live there complain about.EDIT apart from Monty
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:49,
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I love London I can't believe it's been Two years since I last had a weekend at the capital(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:55,
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If you could punch it right in the La Rochelle please, that would be grand(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:33,
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b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1949135
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:35,
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and youyou need a new sig. you've had that one forever.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:35,
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well go on then...how about "swipe is amazing, i love swipe" ?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:42,
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no lies in sigs. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:42,
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I forgot about my sig. :((
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:48,
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B3th and her BANNHAMMER OF DOOM(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:32,
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SwipeI have a question. If I have a mortgage on my house and I want to move to another house, I understand that it can be possible to move the mortgage over at the same rate, rather than remortgaging.
But what if I wanted to keep my old house? would that still be possible?
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Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:42,
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yesbut you'd doubtless get clobbered for a higher rate mortgage
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:44,
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What if my parents wanted to give a massive wedge of cashis it possible to keep my old house but have my excellent variable rate mortgatge moved to a new house while I keep the old house, or is this is a silly thing and I should just accept that I would have to pay off this mortgage and then take out a new one to get another house.
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Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:46,
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i think you'd need to speak to a mortgage brokerone way to do it would be to transfer the mortgage to the new place and take out a higher rate on the old place, then immediately pay it off - but that would depend on whether you could pay it all off and whether you qualified to get two mortgages, i think
also it means taking back every single last snotty thing you said about my dad buying me a flat. HAHAHA.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:52,
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It wouldn't actually be a giftit would be a loan. And I'm not entirely sure I'm comfortable with it.
I'm also not sure I want to have two houses, I don't think we'd get enough in rent to cover the mortgage and it would be right hassle being a landlord and having to deal with letting agents.
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Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:05,
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You can use them to be a "finder" and just look after the property yourselfThat's what I'm doing
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:07,
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But, then you have to deal with stupid cunts who live in peoples houses and break stuffand are clearly too stupid to buy their own place.
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Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:08,
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Clicking this.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:09,
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Well, yesI'm making £250 a month profit though
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:09,
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See, I don't think I'd make close to thatand don't a lot of agents charge a percentage as their "finders fee" not just a one off? That's fucking bobbins in any case.
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Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:12,
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letting agents are bloodsucking cunt bagswith the moral fiber of a sloppy french shit.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:14,
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Destinys Child really needed more inspiration(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:24,
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We bullied ours down to a one off £400(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:15,
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fuck that's cheap, what was the percentage?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:17,
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To rent my flat would cost you £1100One bedroom ground floor ex-council flat. A comparable 1st floor one bed in the next block is on sale for £280k - although theirs comes with a share of freehold rather than a dangerously low lease like mine. Still stupid money.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:23,
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We could have gone higher but wanted a tenant ASAPI'll stick the rent up once their lease expires
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:24,
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what, £1100 PCM?It must be well shit.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:29,
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Well Al lives there, doesn't he?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:29,
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Perhaps if his wife handled the viewings and scheduled them for when he was out, they could ask a lot more.They'd have to remove any photos lying around and stuff too, of course.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:30,
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foxtons told me mine was something stupid per weekbut even allowing the foxtons bullshit discount, i could live fucking happily on that amount if i fucked off to thailand or somewhere to live on a beach.
i think about this fairly frequently tbh.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:31,
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This is based purely on a two second look on right move(
Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:32,
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well if it would be a loanhow would you ever pay them and the bank back? are you pimping out the kid for spare parts or something?
fuck inheritance tax, take the cash.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:44,
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Actually I don't think either them or I had spotted this flaw in the plan.(
Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:49,
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There was a lady who did that moving from cyprus to england, she had the money in the account for 2 hours before they froze the whole lot.GUTTED.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:10,
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I have no sympathy, she was probably a tax dodger and worse than nakers(
Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:12,
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you could consider a 'let to buy' mortgage, but you would have to rent out your existing house.This is what I suggested to Sportscow, but of course you should consult a professional mortgage adviser. If you were to go down that route it's unlikely that you could port your existing mortgage (and therefore the rate) as you would be switching product.
(, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:52, Reply)
The best thing to do under these circumstances is to:a) delete your account
b) kill yourself
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:54,
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he is a geordie thoughhis idea of a "massive wedge of cash" is probably a tenner
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:57,
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*wishes for massive wedge of cash*(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:57,
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Careful now, you gotta make sure your maridge isn't based on a shotgun wedding first.Otherwise you'll end up renting one of those flats 2 minutes down the road that has a gym on the ground floor that discouridges families.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:15,
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Hmmmm, let me think.Well, I spend a lot of every week abroad, and while I'm there, it's rude not to stick my penis in the vaginas of a few local girls.
When I am home, I drink heavily, despite having a serious medical condition that has to be controlled by large doses of powerful drugs.
And when I'm meant to be working, I spend a lot of time posting on a website know for it's unpleasant humour.
I reckon I'll be okay.
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Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:18,
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You should be ok as long as your wife doesn't ever read that website.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:20,
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If I knew she read this website I would definitely warn people off from making risque jokes about herand the fact that I knocked her up on our first date because I told her I was wearing a rubber but I couldn't be bothered to find one.
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Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:22,
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haha!I don't know why people call you a cunt, Al
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:27,
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Neither do I.I literally have no idea where that meme came from.
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Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:28,
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Victory for Naked Kroney Ape as his mponthly thread smashes the daily record for success!Vive le France!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:44,
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naked kroney apesounds like a gay sex sandwich between you two sweaty hairy boys
shudder
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:45,
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I watched Universal Soldier: The Return the other night.It was fucking awful, I really don't know how JCVD kept getting paid.
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Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:47,
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especially when he likes to take massive amounts of coke, shove glass bottle up his arse, fly in prostitutes and leave hotel romms COVERED in shit**apparently
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:48,
Reply)
citation needed. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:49,
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friend of a friend who worked on the Coors adverts(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:53,
Reply)
Can he not just use a bottle opener?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 15:57,
Reply)
By that I mean, if I was a real life friend of yours nakkersI would feed you so much bullshit, it would be a daily torrent of "things I've heard" that you had to "keep on the down-low"
(, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:14, Reply)
Hey nakkers, have you heard that because of the horse meat scandal that in Norway they make hot dogs out of stray dogs?(, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:19, Reply)
I told your mum not to go there on holiday : ((
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:22,
Reply)
yeah because loads of exciting stuff happens in MKlook, I took the whole thing with a pinch of salt, but I know the person involved work's for the agency that produced those ads and I know she was on set at the time, and if you read campaign you'd know that filming was difficult...
it's still worth mentioning a potentially amusing anecdote. Or we can talk about board games, home brew and life failing?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Apr 2013, 16:22,
Reply)
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