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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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My Giant Chicken Dumpling is fucking nom
and only cost £2, when did you last find a real bargain?
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:04, 185 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
When I sold a rusty old fireplace I found in my back garden for £50

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:06, Reply)
Sporty the Dumpling is fucking huge
With chicking on the inside and covered in Gravy, this may possibly both the best and worst food discovery for me
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:11, Reply)
Pic next time

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:12, Reply)
I have taken one but how the fuck do I post it?

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:12, Reply)
Upload it to b3tards.com

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:16, Reply)
AND RESIZE IT BEFORE CRASHING THE INTERNET

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:24, Reply)

CRASHING THE INTERNET LOSING CHOMPY HIS JOB
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:27, Reply)
OK Imagine one of these but the size of Muskmelon with pulled jerk chicken and gravy inside
then covered in a spicy gravy

www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=chicken+dumpling+jamaican&um=1&sa=N&rlz=1T4ACAW_enGB427GB512&hl=en&biw=1280&bih=757&tbm=isch&tbnid=ij73akedijSx_M:&imgrefurl=http://eatjamaican.com/recipes/fried-dumplings-recipe.html&docid=zeYxyGym0s9DRM&imgurl=http://eatjamaican.com/jamaican-foods/fired-dumplings-sml.JPG&w=503&h=360&ei=RxCBUZCUKsLC7AaCkYDgDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=213&vpy=278&dur=1231&hovh=190&hovw=265&tx=100&ty=212&page=1&tbnh=144&tbnw=201&start=0&ndsp=25&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:0,i:103
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:02, Reply)
Sorry could you provide a longer URL please?
Thanks x
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:09, Reply)
Hi, would you mind sucking at the internet just a little harder?
I can still see a minute amount of competency in there.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:10, Reply)
Sorry it was all I could find

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:26, Reply)
You know what they say
'rusty old fireplace I found in my back garden, smelly garage'
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:18, Reply)
It does smell somewhat, I must confess
Probably those dead prossies
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:19, Reply)
YM is only charging 90000p for a bj at the moment.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:07, Reply)
1100p an inch!

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:07, Reply)
Yes.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:09, Reply)
Haha
Nicely Ninja'ed
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:10, Reply)
ninja cunt

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:10, Reply)
NINJANDREWMARRJA

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:10, Reply)
Nice try.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:11, Reply)
I fear this may become tedious

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:12, Reply)
Yes. Just let me win and have done with it.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:13, Reply)

in ank you off
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:13, Reply)
She is over charging you

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:08, Reply)
YM, down the docks, 70p a go.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:07, Reply)
FREDDY STARRS!!!!!!!!!!

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:08, Reply)
Too slow.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:08, Reply)

tee hee
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:09, Reply)
Kids electric jeep, car boot, £3, non-functioning
I thought, fuck it, for that money one sprog csn push the other in it.
Turned out was just a rusty fuse stopping it, one brisk sanding later and they were happily runnng over the flowerbeds in it.
Felt a bit guilty tbh, but I guess they just wanted rid.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:19, Reply)
Just like YM when the doc told her she was pregnant with you.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:20, Reply)
Unlike YM she kept the baby and not the afterbirth.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:22, Reply)
Unlike YM I've only sucked off 1000000000000 sailors

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)
His mum is Darth?

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:24, Reply)
Yes, I'm afraid so.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:24, Reply)
I've tried to stop her pretending to be a raving gay man online, but she won't listen.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:29, Reply)
Nearly 200x the population of the globe?
That's one helluva wet dream you must have had
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:25, Reply)
I'm looking at new phones
I think I want a Samsung Galaxy S3 and you can get one for £19.50 a month with unlimited data and texts, and 500 minutes of calls. Only arse is that they won't deliver to work and that's a bitch.

Other than that, that does seem to be a good deal I think.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:20, Reply)
does it come with a "free" tv and 2 years of posting about it?

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:21, Reply)
Yes, and a bottle of pondwater with a sticker on it saying 'Chateauneuf-de-MK'

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:22, Reply)
shatonerd more like

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:25, Reply)
I THINK THIS POST REFERS TO PSYCHOCHOMP BUT IM NOT SURE COULD YOU BE LESS OBTUSE IN THE FUTURE PLEASE

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:26, Reply)
you're just being hypersensitive
it was a perfectly generic comment
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:30, Reply)
I just got an S3
it's bigger than I expected
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:55, Reply)
S3? SP MORE LIKE

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:55, Reply)
I found a video camera in an electronics recycling bin
turned out it was a pretty good one and still worked. I sold it for £275
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:24, Reply)
You see Monts? This is why you shouldn't stop bin diving, even when your IPA expires.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:28, Reply)
always thinking about the drink eh

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:29, Reply)
Ha ha. Subconscious typo.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:31, Reply)
The drink by date isn't til 2015

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:32, Reply)
Out of date food and beer together?
Recipe for an extended stay in the bog I'd have thought.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:33, Reply)
What I'd really like is some lovely ham on the bone and a nice crusty bloomer

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:34, Reply)
I don't suppose....

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:34, Reply)
No, I couldn't. Technically cannibalism.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:34, Reply)
STAY ABOUT FROM MY BINS

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:35, Reply)

BIN HAND
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:36, Reply)
haha

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)
lunch was £1.75 from our staff restaurant
nutty vegetable paella. it was.... interesting. not paella as the spanish would know it. but tasty enough.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:31, Reply)
Is that as paella has meat in it?

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:35, Reply)
no it doesn't
although trying to order a veggie paella at some of the less touristy restaurants near our place in spain was always fun.

paella con verduras?
si
y con jamon?
no
y con pescado?
NO
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:37, Reply)
TOP TIP
Don't order paella
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:37, Reply)

order paella be a vegetarian
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)
this^

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)
you are both wrong
squidgy saffrony glorious vegetable paella is a thing of divinity
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:40, Reply)
I'm not that keen on paella tbh, I got food poisoning from eating it in the well-known resort 'Stoke Newington' once.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:41, Reply)
I had a lovely villa in Stoke Newington one summer. Glorious. You got a feeling of the proper Spain, not the touristy side of Spain.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:49, Reply)
It's no "Redcar" though

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:50, Reply)
It's where the actual Spanish go.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:03, Reply)
this is odd
as that is an area renowned for its Spanish cuisine
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:50, Reply)
+improved by the addition of nommy chorizo, chicken, mussels and prawns

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:46, Reply)
+pulled pork and nyommy baconz

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:47, Reply)
NYOM NYOM BAYCYONZZZZ

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:48, Reply)
Dont be fucking stupid
Paella isn't Portugese
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:50, Reply)
HEZ SO FICK

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:00, Reply)
Bought a large chicken for £2.89, as it was going out of date
That was nice.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:34, Reply)
the book i'm reading has lots of random recipes in as the author clearly fancies herself quite the chef
she was rabbiting on about ramming a lemon up its arse and shoving it in a pot on a slow heat in the oven for about 3 hours. apparently it makes for bone meltingly tender chicken. would that work?
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:36, Reply)
Yep - very well
Needs a bit of thyme and butter
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:37, Reply)
Is that 50 shades of cock?

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)
Tips hat... Good shot sir

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:50, Reply)
The lemon-up-arse thing makes for a remarkably moist and fragrant chicken.
STRIKETHROUGHS!!! INNUENDOS!!!!!
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)

lemon hamster

chicken dozer

like that?
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:40, Reply)
Precisely like that.
So, you double-booking dipshit, wha' gwan next week?
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:43, Reply)
LEG OR BREAST, MOTHER, *LEWD WINK*

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:40, Reply)
I once bought something for a slightly lower price than I would have expected for such an item.
True story.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:37, Reply)
ORLY?

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:37, Reply)
A whole airport?

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)
Yep

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)
Pull the other one, Yurtsy.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)
that sounds like a form of thrush

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:40, Reply)
Canestan Tofu

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:55, Reply)
Honestly, I had been quite prepared to pay somewhat more than they were asking.
But you know me, never one to look a gift horse in the mouth.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:43, Reply)

gift horse 2kg bag of sunflower seeds
mouth organic wholefoods market
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:44, Reply)
Hey Tango!!! HEY!!!
1) gizza record
2) did you know that Arthur Brown (who my kid is scared shitless of) lives in a yurt in Kent?
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:42, Reply)
1. Yeah, yeah gaz me an address.
2. It's a crazy world he lives in and no mistake!!
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:45, Reply)
2 = LOL!!!!!

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:45, Reply)
You're on 'Fire' today!!!!!!!

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:47, Reply)
Today. Brand new set of dark red jeans on sale, 8 dollars.
SO. Happy.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:44, Reply)
Oh man I LOVE 'Full Metal Jacket'!

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:45, Reply)
I don't know that reference.
Stop being old.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:47, Reply)
It's not that easy to do.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:49, Reply)

These are my jeans. There are many like them, but these are mine. My jeans are my best friend. They are my life. I must master them as I must master my life.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:49, Reply)
When is Foxy Knoxy going to start her porn career?

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:46, Reply)
I'll happily wank over the press interviews she gives.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:47, Reply)
In all fairness, you'd wank over Dr Fox press interviews too

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:49, Reply)
Cor yeah!

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:51, Reply)
In fairness, he'd wank over the Fox's Glacier Mints bear too

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:58, Reply)
Stop it guys, I'm at my desk here!

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:58, Reply)
It is a fucking sexy bear

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:12, Reply)
I got some Jelly Tots for 54p
Jely Tots

Is this an Atora type dumpling with chicken bits or a big round ball of chicken?
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:49, Reply)
Good afternoon Mr Avocado

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:50, Reply)
Artnune Mr Cow

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:50, Reply)
*doffs non-existant hat*
Are you new round these here parts?
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:51, Reply)
LTL and all that

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:56, Reply)
Little Tit Licker?
Your type make me sick
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:57, Reply)
Hi TheDevilsAvocado!!!!
Hi to you!!!!!
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:58, Reply)
Oh man, 2.0'd ALREADY????

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:02, Reply)
What is this human thing you call...2.0?

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:04, Reply)
Your mum

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:05, Reply)
2.0? I'd only give her 1

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:07, Reply)
No need to respond to my friendly greeting eh
FFS kids today
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:08, Reply)
soz bbz

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:14, Reply)
The much-praised 'ignore' function.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:05, Reply)
Alright, let me see how this works

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:08, Reply)
Ahh, it's fine here

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:15, Reply)
Have we done your mum yet?

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:54, Reply)
I think we all have

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:54, Reply)
I'm wiping my cock on her curtains as I type this

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:57, Reply)
Good luck finding a clean patch.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:58, Reply)
The "Harlow Zuffle"

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:02, Reply)
Two Tesco scotch eggs for a quid
BOOM
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:57, Reply)
Screaming diarrhoea within two hours
SPLAAAAATTTTT
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 13:59, Reply)
Nonsense
28% pork. Luxury! Even had a notice on the packet to reassure the discerning customer that their pig meat fully compied with meat standards, which definitely didn't immediately make me think that some horse had got into the pork supply, too. No, sir!
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:01, Reply)
'The pig meat's fine - not sure about the dog tho tbh. Lots of love, Tesco x'

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:02, Reply)
Besides, straining on the throne is so undignified.
I prefer a loose stool.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:02, Reply)
Quite so
All that gurning and sweating - no thank you!!
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:04, Reply)
Hm, stomach cramps already.
Fifteen minutes, a new record. Good one, Tesco!
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:06, Reply)
Every Shittle Helps

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:13, Reply)
I like this

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:15, Reply)
Likin dis

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:16, Reply)
If you can look dignified on a loose stool then my hat's off to you

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:05, Reply)
There's nothing better than leaving a flock of starlings around the pan.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:05, Reply)
"like taking the lid off a box of racing pigeons"

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:11, Reply)
best phrase I've learnt in the past couple of years I reckon

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:12, Reply)
This is my favourite phrase at the moment

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:13, Reply)
Word of the Day
polliwog

a tadpole
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:06, Reply)
Word of the Day 2:
bollywog


a person of South Asian descent who apes* the accent and mannerisms of an Afro-Carribean


*YEAH I WENT THERE
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:12, Reply)
You frightful racist, imma ignore 2.0 you

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:13, Reply)
NOT YOU AS WELL

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:23, Reply)
Ah, I see
That works quite well doesn't it?
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:09, Reply)
I can't see posts from that Monty Bonce fellow at all

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:09, Reply)
Let me know if he says anything I need to know

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:10, Reply)
Can he see me?

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:12, Reply)
He's hiding in your wardrobe RIGHT NOW

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:14, Reply)
He totally just called you a pig felching cunt

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:14, Reply)
Where?

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:17, Reply)
Inside your mothers vagina

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:19, Reply)
I think he's deleted it now.
What a cunt, eh?
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:19, Reply)
That's me!!!!

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:25, Reply)
Wha...!! So...so, it's true Boncey?
Say it aint so!
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:29, Reply)
I'm not talking to you.
You've gone too far, pal.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:31, Reply)
Don't know - you've disappeared from my screen.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:10, Reply)
But you can still reply to me? How do you do that?

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:11, Reply)
tangledupinboycelols

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:12, Reply)
I don't know, I'm frightened Devsy.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:14, Reply)
Oh there you are!
Right little Rentaghost you are. Disappearing and reappearing willy nilly like a more-camp Timothy Claypole.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:17, Reply)
Wotcha Boncey!
That ignore thing is a bit weird so I took it off.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:17, Reply)
It's the last resort of the desperate, Claypole old chap.
To be employed only in life-threatening circumstances. Or all the time if you're a thin-skinned, blubbing type.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:19, Reply)
+ with an aversion to images on a screen when at work.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:24, Reply)
this whole routine has comedy written all over it

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:18, Reply)
This is the online equivalent of a guy with a two-by-four over his shoulder turning around a lot.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:18, Reply)
you're not wrong k-bone

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:21, Reply)
Swipe should include it in her #1 hit sitcom

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:18, Reply)
she must have gobe on ad nauseum about it at top secret bashes, its ok to reveal the details here. we can all help her make it better

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:22, Reply)
Tbh, she hasn't mentioned it, otherwise I would have well and truly ripped the piss by now.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:24, Reply)
She's having some legal difficulties.
It features a SATC-style Mr Big character, but it's so obviously close to piston_broke's real personality that he's blocking attempts to televise it all.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:26, Reply)
She has already. She was shagging him between Gregg's hat and Mr Wonga.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:24, Reply)
After a payday bone, eh?

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:25, Reply)
Oh bravo

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:34, Reply)
Wotcha b3ff
Pull my finger...Nicknick
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:25, Reply)
Went out for a team lunch to Spitalfields
so walked there and back via Liverpool Street Station, where they were giving out trial packs (or possibly full size packs given the state of sweets these days I dunno when I were a lad etc) of Sour Patch Kids sweets. I got 2 packs on the way there and 2 on the way back. Score!

To be honest I don't much care for them.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:10, Reply)
I think they're targeted at kids, lighty.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:15, Reply)
Yeah, he needs the Sour Pack Adults

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:19, Reply)
To be fair, lighty targets kids

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:21, Reply)
The force of Bartleby is strong in this one.

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:23, Reply)
Find a white van to stand by
and offer them to passing children.
(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:19, Reply)
Ouch

(, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:27, Reply)

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