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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Loser shift thread - GO!!!!

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 17:37, 181 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
:o(

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 17:39, Reply)
Just you and me Monty
Just you and me.

I'll get the lube.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 17:42, Reply)
Tell me about your fruit woes.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 17:46, Reply)
Bananas slide in much easier without the peel

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 17:50, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1968885
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 17:55, Reply)
apples make my gums itch

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 17:59, Reply)
cranberries are a terrible lie

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 17:59, Reply)
kiwifruit are a lot of effort eh?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 18:00, Reply)
pomegranates are gay

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 18:04, Reply)
why do pears always look manky?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 18:05, Reply)
PEAR FACT:
If left on the tree, pears will never ripen.

HOW ABOUT THAT?
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 18:06, Reply)
PEAR FACT: ABSORBED

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 18:09, Reply)
and now I have that fucking Fairground Attraction song playing in my head.
GREAT. Another black mark against the conference pear.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 18:09, Reply)

Check the Neckā„¢
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 18:24, Reply)
This is bollocks though
Pears do ripen on the tree just from the inside, which means they turn in to an inedible mush long before they look it from the outside, this can be avoided by picking them early so they ripen from the outside in.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 19:32, Reply)
PEAR FACT: REJECTED

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:50, Reply)
I can't eat lychees quick enough and there is never enough watermelon.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 19:38, Reply)
winners don't do drugs

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 17:50, Reply)
I see.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 17:54, Reply)
clearly you don't.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 17:56, Reply)
AH CANNAT SEE MAN

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 17:57, Reply)
I'm down in the dumps and a little worried about my job amongst other things.
Boo hoo, woe is me etc.

Can anyone think of an ace new career for me?
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 17:58, Reply)
No.
You're fucking useless. Fucky fucky boohoo.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 18:04, Reply)
Shut it, clownfoot.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 18:06, Reply)

www.usapears.com/Facts%20And%20Nutrition/Tree%20To%20Table/Meet%20the%20Growers.aspx
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 18:31, Reply)
of course!
Why not make my pear facts work for me for a change?
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 18:33, Reply)
What a bent thread

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 18:19, Reply)
well it is now

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 18:31, Reply)
:o

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 18:37, Reply)
whats happening did they ban gay marriage yet

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 18:48, Reply)
GO!!!!

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 18:48, Reply)
*goes*

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 19:05, Reply)
Don't sell your flat.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 19:11, Reply)
times is tough, bro

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 19:13, Reply)
I heard ya blood.
But you've made good progress with your financial shizzle. To jack that in now wouldn't be wise.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 19:15, Reply)
yeah, but where would you live?
Renting might be a problem. Credit ratings are checked.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 19:15, Reply)
in a yurt

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:35, Reply)
*nods*

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:47, Reply)
Bender

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 18:49, Reply)
in a bun

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 19:11, Reply)
Every loser wins
Sang Wicksy from Eastenders.

THE ORIGINAL!!
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 19:09, Reply)
a pal of mine has a well lol story about him
but battered will cry about name dropping so I won't tell you it. Soz
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 19:15, Reply)
who gives a fuck about Battered?
Not me, not you, not his wife.

So spill those beanz yo.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 19:16, Reply)
Monty ain't gonna do that, Dozer.
It's too Wicksy.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:37, Reply)
This
is a frankly shit comment based on the fact that wossisface used to play a character known as Wicksy in Bellenders, and also that some long since faded character or comedian or piece of shit used to have a catchphrase of 'Too Risky' or summat which I can't be arsed to Google but everyone at school or college (I forget which) would endlessly parrot but it was funny because he couldn't pwonounce his R's, which in itself is a fucking affectation, don't you think; I mean, 'R' isn't hard to pronounce at all, and yet my local radio station wheels out endless flidoids who seem to lack this basic ability to comment on news items that inevitably contain lots of words with the letter R in them. Or 'W' if you're a fucking linguistic spastic.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:47, Reply)
tl;dr

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:48, Reply)
alright tuib

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:48, Reply)
alright dozer

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:50, Reply)
alright

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:52, Reply)
thanks for the exposition, localboy

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:48, Reply)
I'm all about the service.
Soz, I'm not at my best right now. I think I may go outside and annihilate the daffodils.

And people who can't pronounce the letter 'R', the abject wetards.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:50, Reply)
ranker

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:00, Reply)
plick

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:28, Reply)
NO WICKSY CHAT!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAETCOHMYSIDES!
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:18, Reply)
actually that's good

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:29, Reply)
Oh thank God, I thought I was losing me touch.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:30, Reply)
I like this.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:36, Reply)
Fucking hell, it's only taken a week to get on the populol page.

(, Mon 27 May 2013, 21:10, Reply)
Whats with Nakers calling me a cunt? I'm not a cunt! I even sent Gonz a free copy of office for Mac even though macs are for gays!
Fuck you, you bent spastic!
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 19:27, Reply)
Haha, I had to declare it at work the other day but I don't know the name of the person I have to declare all my software to, she just said "Email me a list" and I know she's not Clare.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 19:29, Reply)
I think I might go to the gym.
It's cheaper and healthier than going to the pub.

Loser thread winner!
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 19:46, Reply)
Reporting for duty.
Still beautiful and sunny out here in usaland.

What's up here, then?
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:38, Reply)
I hope you haven't been to SeaWorld.
They'll try and keep you.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:40, Reply)
Do what?
Shamu-st be joking.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:42, Reply)
Alright Dozer.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:45, Reply)
alright

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:47, Reply)
Fucking pub quiz night.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:44, Reply)
I'm celebrating.
Agreed level of contact with micro for the next 2 weeks is an average of 4 hours day, even taking in to account being away for 4 of those days.

R.E.S.U.L.T.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:50, Reply)
not for Micro.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:51, Reply)
I feel confident that her view differs.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:03, Reply)
I can confirm that kids fucking love their dads
While the rest of us couldn't imagine spending that much time in your company, she will think it's great.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:07, Reply)
Innit. Had her on Sat 9-12 & 6-7, yesterday 2-6 and 1.30-6.30 today. I am very lucky compared to what some (inc Monty) have gone through.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:09, Reply)
Keep things civil and everyone will be happy in the long run

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:11, Reply)

l c
appy onda
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:12, Reply)
I hope so. It's about what is best for Micro. She's the #1 priority

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:17, Reply)
not all kids :'(

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:11, Reply)
Must've been tough having a son like you

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:12, Reply)
yer, taller than him from the age of seven
No wonder he had severe Battered syndrome.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:14, Reply)
Wasn't he the one doing the battering?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:15, Reply)
more often than not.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:16, Reply)
severd battered syndrome
Did he work in a chippy?
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:16, Reply)
I'm on a mission to kill people who can't pronounce the letter 'R'
I'm also going for a smoke.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:52, Reply)
David Bellamy just called you a wotter.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:53, Reply)
I met him once.
Unlike many 70's icons, he didn't try to nonce me. Not that I'm saying I've been nonced by 70' icons.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:55, Reply)
alright, Monty's not around, you can tell us about his career as a prolific sex offender.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:56, Reply)
Who were you nonced by?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:56, Reply)
Monty Boyce.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:56, Reply)
The dirty fucking rotter

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:01, Reply)
You mean 'wotter'.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:14, Reply)
pwick

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:55, Reply)
weally twemendous wanka

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:56, Reply)
You'll love this DG
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAHsSY3RpUM
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:08, Reply)
Good stuff.
I've been to the gym.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:06, Reply)
Was it for exercise or noncing?
Or both?
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:08, Reply)
Neither. It's Monday so today it was just a case of sniffing the seats of the exercise bikes.
Wednesday is 'noncing day'.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:10, Reply)
Sniffing the seats in the female changing rooms does not count as exercise.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:10, Reply)
heh!

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:10, Reply)
I just listened to some Dr Octagon.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:12, Reply)
On a 8-track I wouldn't wonder.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:13, Reply)
no, on a Technics SL1210, through a Pioneer DJM400 mixer, Cambridge Audio amp and Ortofon Concorde cartridge.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:15, Reply)

Technics SL1210, through a Pioneer DJM400 mixer, Cambridge Audio amp and Ortofon Concorde cartridge.


Goodmans midi system.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:17, Reply)
Alba, if you must know.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:17, Reply)
Blimey.
It has been a bit windy in the States.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:18, Reply)
poor B3th, flatulent as well as corpulent

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:19, Reply)
B3th will be ok, the hurricane that could move that much mass is scientifically impossible.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:19, Reply)
Yeah, b3th farted and then it all went to hell.
Hurricane gusset, they called it.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:20, Reply)
ANDWEW MARR!!!!

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:20, Reply)
I see what you did there.
Pwick.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:24, Reply)
took your time though.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:25, Reply)
I have better things to do than sit here hitting F5 every two seconds, you know.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:27, Reply)
weally?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:27, Reply)
Res.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:28, Reply)
I don't understand why, with all this windy weather, these people choose to live in caravans.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:21, Reply)
something about b3th farting and being fat

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:22, Reply)
hahahaha
It's funny because it's b3th.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:24, Reply)
we have a right laugh here don't we

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:25, Reply)
Not really, no.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:26, Reply)
Got to have some concern for her old man though, at his age even a door slamming could finish him off, imagine what a strong storm would do.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:25, Reply)
I heard that b3th bangs like a shitehoose door in a hurricane.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:27, Reply)
I heard that you and battered are shortarsed twats.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:29, Reply)
That's just mean.
I'm telling the mods.

(How is your holiday by the way, shit I'm guessing if you've chosen to log on here).
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:30, Reply)
It's been fucking awesome.
We're on the last night at the holiday home, sitting around the fire pit with alcohol, and nattering up a storm.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:32, Reply)

holiday

Geriatric
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:34, Reply)
You are in a caravan and there is a storm.
Okay - based on the time difference, in a few hours, I can reveal ('cos I've seen the news at 10) you'll be subjects to a massive hurricane and you'll die, unless you get in your special bunker.

Tell ya, me being in a different time zone to you means I can tell your future. Or summat.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:35, Reply)
If I die, you can have the pier.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:39, Reply)
Thanks.
I will.

I'll move it away from WsM though and stick it on the Long Ashton bypass.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:44, Reply)
Ha ha

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:44, Reply)
yeah, you'll have more luck reporting it to a mod with more than just the ability to remove pictures because Darth and Psychochomp are crying about being caught skiving

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:34, Reply)
Has DF got told off for accessing B3ta?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:35, Reply)
probably.
He's a low ranking drone of some sort. Chompy definitely went crying to b3th.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:40, Reply)
DF is a top chap & probably earns more than you.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:42, Reply)
nah
He doesn't.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:42, Reply)
I feel quite confident he does.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:43, Reply)
he confirmed his salary when he did a DFAMA
Mine is higher.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:44, Reply)
What on earth is a DFAMA?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:46, Reply)
Darth Foxtrot ask me anything

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:47, Reply)
Fair enough.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:51, Reply)
I've not met DF, I'd imagine he'd be quite a laugh.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:43, Reply)
Top chap, for a raging mincer.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:43, Reply)
And a Florist supporter.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:45, Reply)
No football chat.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:47, Reply)
If you ain't got time to be here, don't be here.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:35, Reply)
^ this ^

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:37, Reply)
^ that ^

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:37, Reply)
^ and the other ^

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:40, Reply)
^ correct answer ^

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:42, Reply)
Like battered remembers anything about 'the other'

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:44, Reply)
Your sig is a lie, you are by far the largest, laziest, lardiest, most corpulent, mod. EVER.
On the whole web.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:45, Reply)
On the same web that includes Bobby?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:48, Reply)
Yes.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:48, Reply)
^ and don't act like it's your God given right to be pissing about on here ^

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:42, Reply)
Especially if you are paid by the tax payer.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:42, Reply)
hey, don't be mean

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:43, Reply)
I dislike agreeing with you, but on this point I do.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:42, Reply)
hey, my boss doesn't mind me reading Wiki, BBC news and B3ta all day.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:45, Reply)
The fact that they've blocked Chompy from the BBC site made me lol.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:46, Reply)
just wait until they find out which mirror or proxy he uses for B3ta.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:48, Reply)
There are several people that can't wait for that.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:49, Reply)
srsly, it's gross misconduct
Deliberately breaching the internet policy on a daily basis for several years.

B3ta is blocked by just about every single commercially available internet security package.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:54, Reply)
Long and the short of it, is that most people get paid to work, therefore,
If you are meant to be working, you ought to do just that.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:55, Reply)
tell that to Chompazoid and Darthosaurus

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:56, Reply)
No.
Because they only post when I'm at work.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:57, Reply)
fair point

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:57, Reply)
is b3th a tubbo?
I had no idea.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:25, Reply)
Ocean going vessel.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:26, Reply)
I hate you and I hope you die in a freak towel accident.
Just so you know.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:27, Reply)
That post is just a load of old flannel.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:53, Reply)
I'm sorry I don't have your dry wit.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:54, Reply)
Fuck you bastards.
It was nothing to do with me. It was like that when I ot here. I never even touched it or nuffin.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:26, Reply)
Jimmy Hill.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 22:27, Reply)

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