Christ it's dull on here today...
i was on a yacht last week, it was good fun, tell me your BOAT lols.

alt: I dreamt i had to tell someone that they have AIDs last night, what do you reckon that means?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:04, 69 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'd like to improve the factual accuracy on /OT. So please change your username to Eddie Kidd. Thanks.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:06, Reply)

I will when you change your's to "Willow"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:07, Reply)

maybe everyone should be some sort of prickname
dirty french prick
long haired skint prick
mad parrot fucking prick
tightarse sleazy prick
clown-footed deluded prick
angry divorcing prick
floppy haired pissing prick
floppy haired sales prick
yurt dwelling chickpea breeding prick
bacon munching jewish prick
ginger pub prick
beautiful lawyer non-prick

that sort of thing
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:17, Reply)

I'm not French :(

( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:18, Reply)

beautiful lawyer non-prick

FAT GINGER BINT.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:20, Reply)

can't wait to see you too, sweetheart xxx

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:21, Reply)

who is the sales prick?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:20, Reply)

personally i think it's the best of those options
i'd take it if i were you
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:22, Reply)

HOW RUDE!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:22, Reply)

which one would you rather be?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:26, Reply)

the best prick here

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:29, Reply)

you can be my second best prick

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:30, Reply)

You think rory is beautiful?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:22, Reply)

i've heard rumours

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:23, Reply)

Ah, glad to see I've been edited into that list.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:25, Reply)

feel free to made your own edits

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:26, Reply)

The one off Buffy?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:17, Reply)

No, Battered's not a ginger witch.
You're thinking of swipe.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:21, Reply)

are you going to wear the cardigran on sat? it might need to have an accident
with you in it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:23, Reply)

are you threatening to take a dump on Kroney?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:24, Reply)

ffs why did my finger have to slip and click i like this on THAT post?
for the record, i do NOT like this
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:26, Reply)

Can't say I'm the biggest fan, either.

( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:27, Reply)

that made me laugh more than it should have done
it's been reet slow on here today
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:28, Reply)

i was on a boat on fri
i like boats
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:06, Reply)

What sort of a boat?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:18, Reply)

There was a man in it.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:23, Reply)

three of them

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:26, Reply)

Boats are just what caravan owners graduate to when they get rich.
alt: you have AIDS.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:09, Reply)

i did wonder this...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:10, Reply)

My father used to have a boat.
My brother and I were sat on the quayside watching as he nearly drowned our sister. It was well lol.

A few years ago he got left another boat in a pal's will, when he was living in Chicago. However getting it from Canada to the US plus the mooring costs meant it was something of a poisoned chalice and he couldn't have it. It was well lol.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:13, Reply)

like those poor sods who inherited a house
and it came with chancel repairs, they had to sell their own house to pay for the works. poor bastards.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:17, Reply)

I know a fella right, swear down this is the true story as I know it.
He was diving off his boat, then when he came up to surface, the boat was gone, couldn't find it. Swam 3 miles back to shore in his scuba gear, went up to one of the other fisherman and was like "That [name] fucking ran off with my boat !". So they went searching for the boat in another boat, and when they got there, the dog (a big doberman) was going mental and [name] wasn't to be found.

I can't remember if they found [name]'s body, but he was presumed dead. [name] though was in with the maffia, and they blew up the guy's car, stabbed him, ran him off the island.

True story this one, swear down, I think Monty might be able to back me up on this one if Bank Robber Phil told him about it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:15, Reply)

I went on a boating holiday on the Norfolk Broads once, it was fun.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:17, Reply)

It is very civilised
as you sail from pub to pub, mostly, from what I remember.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:19, Reply)

Yeah, try to avoid the fucking angry swans.
You have to ignore the number of people these boats say they carry, they never ever carry that amount.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:20, Reply)

A bit like how many people a ready meal says it can feed then?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:30, Reply)

We had one of those 12 person ones
for 10 plus dog, it was like the QE2 compared to most of them.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:32, Reply)

I have been on the Silonain 3 a few times.
www.islesofscilly-travel.co.uk/timetable_sc3.asp,
It have a very flat bottom and there is a hell of a lot of movement when she sails, I have heard the expression "turning green" with seasickness but never realised it was true, It was only the crew, my mother-in-law and myself that was not throwing up.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:17, Reply)

The Scillonian III is the only ship that has ever made me seasick.

( Peej, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:23, Reply)

It was fucking awful, 200-300 people mass puking
The mother-in-law and I, went to the bar as it was the only safe area of the ship
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:26, Reply)

I once properly capsized a bosun

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:19, Reply)

Boat lols?
Dear God...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:19, Reply)

would you prefer boat woes?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:21, Reply)

:(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:21, Reply)

I'd prefer if you could film yourself going mental in a busy shopping area, killing loads of people before ultimately taking your own life.
Gaz one of the IT nerds about setting up a live feed.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:23, Reply)

i'll run a cable from my gun mounted iphone all the way to the internet

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:25, Reply)

"Shot from my iPhone"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:28, Reply)

Or if you don't fancy the whole murder/suicide thing, this guy has some innovative ideas:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfQkf4FU4ls
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:33, Reply)

this is where lampito would start talking about motorboating

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:30, Reply)

Hahahahaha she fucked Sexface.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:55, Reply)

we all make mistakes, AB

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:03, Reply)

I was going to join the navy but the Falklands war put me off.
It was well lol.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:20, Reply)

Want to hear more flatmate lols?

( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:31, Reply)

yes, yes I do

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:33, Reply)

Her bank account got closed.
Tried to open a new one, but it requires a driving licence or passport. She doesn't drive and her passport has lapsed. Long story short, she's getting her money paid into my account until she can get a new passport and thus open a new account.

Also, she's owed four hundred pounds from the job she neglected to get a contract for, the job she then moved to got rid of her after three days because they learned she'd been interviewing. She got the job she'd been interviewing for, thankfully.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:37, Reply)

why did they close her account?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:38, Reply)

how did her bank account "get" closed??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:39, Reply)

Dunno the ins and outs of it.
It's a long, convoluted story that stems from her ex running up a credit card in her name.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:40, Reply)

i was going to say it sounds fraudtastic somewhere along the way

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:40, Reply)

That guy really screwed her in multiple ways.
Her current problems all stem from a run of bad luck the likes of which I've never seen, people taking advantage of her naivete and this one ex-boyfriend.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:42, Reply)

did you have a camera in her bedroom?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:51, Reply)

Jesus, I would be very worried about that.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:43, Reply)

Yeah. It seems there's no bar on her opening another account, though.
She just needs some photo ID to do so. I guess it can't be anything that bad.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:44, Reply)

Looks like she could have been fraud flagged by the bank.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-18540832
(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:47, Reply)

Go on then

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:35, Reply)

Man, AA is slaughtering you lot on the popular page. He owns it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:53, Reply)

it'll be the only thing he owns soon

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:57, Reply)

Is it about time for another thread?
This is a bit rubbish.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:58, Reply)

The new one's not much better, tbh.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:10, Reply)