So, there's a woman lives over the road.
Every day around this time she gets out of a taxi, and proceeds to negotiate the pathway to her flat in a manner that suggests she's about to faceplant herself on the pavement, but always manages to stay upright. At first I thought she must have Parkinson's or something, but our neighbour recently told me she's a chronic alcoholic who's boozed her looks away over the years.

I also live next door to a pair of conspiracy theorists. Nice people, but utterly bonkers in some respects. What are your neighbours like?

Alt: Should Andy 'cheery bastard' Murray get a knighthood? Who actually deserves a knighthood?

Alt alt: Is /OT running out of ideas?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:38, 103 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

My new neighbours are a Doctor's widow who is always in the pub
and a couple who seem rather rich but nice

Alt:
No - me

Alt Alt:
No, just people
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:42, Reply)

Dunno, only seen glimpses of them
I'm guessing they're operating a massive drug lab. Or something.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:49, Reply)

Student pricks
alt: winning Wimbledon was his reward, there are far more deserving people out there.

alt:alt: Just go into past history and recycle
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:49, Reply)

Lunch?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:50, Reply)

I'm a bit full maybe later

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:50, Reply)

Too close.
Alt: No. No one.
Altalt: Pretty sure that happened long before I got here.
Still, with new blood like Mustardo on board, I'm sure there will be further opportunities to find out about people's middle of the day meals.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:51, Reply)

I sure hope so!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:52, Reply)

That Mustard guy is sure to sort this place out - and fast!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:53, Reply)

He seems like the kind of guy who gets results.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:54, Reply)

The smart money's on the Mustmeister and no mistake.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:56, Reply)

He could be the colonel or regeneration
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:59, Reply)

My neighbours are all sound.
Alt: Jamie Oliver should, Murray should not.

Altalt: yes, I've asked your alt once before
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:52, Reply)

I must have missed that.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:52, Reply)

No, you have Alzheimer's.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:53, Reply)

I must have missed that.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:54, Reply)

Most of them complain about some prick
belting out "Mr Kirk's nightmare" at 2am whilst skipping in a circle
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:53, Reply)

hahaha this made me do a proper lol

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:56, Reply)

He's been around yours hasn't he?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:01, Reply)

No it's one of the first gazzes he ever sent me and the other culprit skipping in a circle
was in fact YOU!
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:06, Reply)

Hahahahaha.
True to form!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:11, Reply)

We was talking about old rave tunes, I mentioned "your son is dead" he gave me the correct title
and happened to mention that it was only the night before you two was blearing it out at a fairly late hour.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:14, Reply)

A class tune.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:16, Reply)

'A' class tune

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:32, Reply)

Some CUNT stole this off me.
They left the rest of In Rough Territory behind though.

It still saddens me.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:33, Reply)

I had a meal at a Jamie Oliver resturant and it was mediocre.
So I think you're wrong and a prick.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:28, Reply)

No sports people should be honoured, purely based on the fact that they're good at their hobby
I walked into the doctor's surgery just before 9:00 am, just as a woman was leaving. She was drinking (using a straw, no less) from a can of export lager. She seemed quite happy, I don't know what all the fuss is about.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:56, Reply)

The house to the right of mine is inhabitited by two halfwits that have thought it a good idea to have a baby
The other side is cursed. It's a rental property and every family that stays there ends up leaving because of some sort of crisis.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:58, Reply)

In retrospect, building that house on top of that Indian burial ground wasn't such a good idea.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:04, Reply)

The smell of old curry for a start

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:12, Reply)

Hoka Hay!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:12, Reply)

The student house next door to me is cursed
every couple that lived in it broke up within a year (that I can remember)now it's a rental it seems to have stopped.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:04, Reply)

The most recent couple lasted about 3 months

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:13, Reply)

Twoey just a thought, you're not part of the reason are you?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:15, Reply)

Look, I'm not saying I'm blame-free
But they're grown-ups, capable of making their own decisions.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:16, Reply)

I had to stick that in before someone said it about me

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:17, Reply)

I understand

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:20, Reply)

X
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:31, Reply)

Pish
They are being recognised for the sacrifice and dedication.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:02, Reply)

I think the £15million a year sponsorship deals should help with that.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:05, Reply)

Are they not allowed to get paid?
Churlish, mate. That's what you are.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:13, Reply)

Haha, sacrifice
Yeah
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:11, Reply)

I'm pretty good at my hobby of getting drunk as a lord.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:31, Reply)

Theres a guy works down at the local chip shop that swears he is Elvizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
My neighbours are sound to be fair... but there are only 4 houses on my "row" so that's good.

Alt, no of course not, it was just ol' greasy face trying to give it a big "man of the people" populist bollocks...

alt alt, Not really it still has good and bad days, depending on how busy people are... the best threads tend to just be a barrage of insults... But its the grass is greener syndrome
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:57, Reply)

i live in london
i don't know my neighbours. although some cunt was playing a violin at 7am this morning.

alt: meh, does anyone care about getting one? pa slung his in the gloryhole under the stairs.

altalt: no. people, maybe. but not ideas.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:59, Reply)

I remember when all this was tea and cake and more than just a hardcore group of users.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:00, Reply)

kitty and vippers and labs and lampito should post MOAR again

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:02, Reply)

I think labs moves to London today.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:02, Reply)

I live next door to a massive student house
so my neighbours change every year. Most have been well behaved though last years did have a penchant for partying mid week.

Couple of skater/stoners upstairs. Nice enough lads. Sometimes are a bit loud up and down the stairs and occasionally rowing with females.
New year they decided to stair surf repeatedly until one of them went through the plate of glass in the door at the bottom of the stairs.

Alt. I love how everyone (including the PM has denied that woman who won Wimbledon in the 70's

Alt.Alt. it's idea's are really current affairs. it's like a reet old gossip.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:07, Reply)

Alt: No they haven't.
Try getting your news from somewhere other than facebook.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:09, Reply)

Sir Patrick Stewart on Twitter
ACTUALLY
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:20, Reply)

It's not that people are denying it, it's just that
Virginia Wade (whose name seems to have been inconveniently forgotten by all these outraged posters) didn't win the Men's Singles at all.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:24, Reply)

She should have been in the kitchen anyway

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:36, Reply)

Hey monty
newsfeed.time.com/2013/07/08/kfc-is-not-amused-by-hitler-fried-chicken/?hpt=hp_t3
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:14, Reply)

did you get my gaz?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:17, Reply)

I have 0 unread messages
Not received anything from you...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:23, Reply)

I will try again.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:24, Reply)

I think you got away with that one, Lighty

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:26, Reply)

Got it now, thx bbz

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:33, Reply)

there are 2 light in chainses
there is "the light in chains" and "light in chains"

did you gaz the wrong one?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:24, Reply)

One of those has been permabanned though

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:26, Reply)

One's a scally, up to his neck in all sorts of crime, the other is a Witness of Jehovah.
Alt, not arsed mate, tennis bores the chuckers off me.
Altalt, dunno.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:20, Reply)

He's a scally with a shady past, she's a Jehovah's Witness with some Good News
Together - THEY FIGHT CRIME.

www.theyfightcrime.org/
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:34, Reply)

my neighbours are crushingly depressing middle englad stereotypes on one side,
with a second home in france and scumbag children around my age, who just ditch their kids with granny and grandad whenever they feel like fucking off for the weekend.
other side are typical yuppies, good jobs, plenty of money, but never saved to buy, good friends with the local pub owner as they're always in there, still smoke pot and play video games despite both being in pretty serious jobs. Lovely couple though, get on with them really well.
In fact, the island is like a little village, there are loads of characters all over the place.

alt: No

Altalt: no
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:28, Reply)

My neighbours are fine. Which makes me think I'm the troublesome neighbour :(

( Kroney, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:30, Reply)

do you like to make loud noises on a sunday after 3pm?
Apparently Ladypig thinks that is totally unacceptable to be mowing a lawn after 3pm on a Sunday.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:33, Reply)

I have a lot of sympathy with this view.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:34, Reply)

I prefer my gardener to get it done while I'm out at work during the week.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:35, Reply)

gardener herd of Goats
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:38, Reply)

Test her theory by doing it just past 3am on a Sunday.

( Kroney, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:36, Reply)

i think trying to mow the lawn, at 3am, after a night on the drink could be good.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:48, Reply)

Old couple next door, dunno the rest anymore as the cunts moved and and I need a couple of years to get to know faces.
The old bloke I do know looks increasingly like a trimmer Santa each year and dresses for getting the papers in the morning like he's the Monarch of the Glen.

Alt: Someone that knows how to tilt a lance in a tourney or something.

Altalt: Dunno. A woman at work mentioned her daughter had come up with a great method for making cheese on toast in a toaster which involved laying the toaster down sideways. She seemed dead proud.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:35, Reply)

altalt: G-E-N-I-U-S.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:40, Reply)

It's extraordinary that anybody, living in London,
could simultaneously manage to live in the middle of nowhere. But you seem to have managed it, lad.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:45, Reply)

It's more likely your public tansport knowledge ain't up to scratch.
Gaz me where you are travelling from.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:49, Reply)

The bloke on my dads side of the family who has a propensity to doing fuckwitted things did this.
He managed to set the toaster on fire.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 15:45, Reply)