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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Monty's fact thread.
Tell us an amazing fact - or make up a waqqui lie.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:17, 166 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
popcorn is offensive

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:19, Reply)
Chinese people laugh when they're nervous.
So if you're over there and your host is laughing, chances are you aren't the lolmeister you think you are, you might actually be committing some gross faux pas.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:19, Reply)
or just a gross pas?

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:21, Reply)
Yeah if you like

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:22, Reply)
Deleting threads is big AND clever*
*Except when Nakers does it
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:22, Reply)
\o/

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:23, Reply)
67/9

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:23, Reply)
YESSSSSS

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:26, Reply)

When women are on their period, they have a higher instinct for detecting if a man is homosexual or not.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:23, Reply)
This is an important instinct, as most homosexuals are just pretending so they can cop an eyeful of girls' breasts

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:26, Reply)
Gok Wan is the prime exponent of this.
You're fooling no-one, 'girlfriend'.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:29, Reply)
Gok Wan = Go Wank

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:30, Reply)
This is what we're gonna do

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:33, Reply)
Well I never.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:26, Reply)
.....apart from that "one" time

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:30, Reply)
If your index finger is longer than your ring finger
You are probably a bummer
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:26, Reply)
or possibly the other way round
its true anyway
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:27, Reply)
Watching horror films can burn up to 200 calories
The same as a half hour walk, scary movie burn more calories than any other genre
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:28, Reply)
Apart from porn

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:30, Reply)
I have a resting heart rate of 48

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:29, Reply)
Kenny Loggins isn't a real log!!!

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:29, Reply)
Loggins Run

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:30, Reply)

Heavier women tend to be more intelligent -- They also tend to produce more intelligent children. Although, over 30kg/m2 the intelligence of both woman and offspring also drops.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:31, Reply)
How do you measure the surface area of a woman?
Apart from the obvious skin her, stretch it over squared paper and count squares.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:36, Reply)
...or it gets the hose

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:37, Reply)
Not sure this works.
Are they thick before they put on the weight?
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:56, Reply)

Even though his tagline was “Gotta catch ‘em all” - Ash Ketchum only caught 43 of 649 Pokémon.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:32, Reply)

Ash Ketchum Darth
Pokémon STIs
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:34, Reply)
Seagulls call to each other using their tonsils

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:32, Reply)
A secret cabal of Jews runs the world

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:33, Reply)
A 30m cabal?

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:33, Reply)
I think they have more money than that

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:34, Reply)
How To Look Good Baked

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:35, Reply)
A grown man once hunted down and attacked a child
Who killed him several times on Call of Duty
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:33, Reply)
Lucky he hadn't been playing 'call of booty' eh?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:34, Reply)
Top ten All Saintszzzzzzz

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:35, Reply)
Booty call's
ATTACK
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:35, Reply)
i don't really like threads where there is no real chance of conversation.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:35, Reply)
More action, eh?

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:35, Reply)
PERHAPS YOU WANT I SHOULD DELETE??????

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:37, Reply)
yeah.
I'd like that a lot.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:38, Reply)
Well after the bomb explodes in Sheffield
a rag tag group of survivors manages to brace itself for a nuclear winter
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:37, Reply)
I just want to point out that this is a very clever reply

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:47, Reply)
I get this

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:52, Reply)
Hello Windy Pig.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:47, Reply)
hello ed.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:52, Reply)
When Renault launched their 'Laguna' car in Paraguay, they had no idea that in the local tongue 'laguna' means 'homosexual prison rape'!!!

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:36, Reply)
Renault Clit
Every cunts got one
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:37, Reply)
Also, the Vauxhall Nova
in Spanish "no va" means "doesn't go".
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:39, Reply)
Pinto means small penis etc etc

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:40, Reply)
The MR2
was laughed at in France
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:42, Reply)
I like the one about the Pepsi slogan in Japan.
Or was it China?

They all look the same to me.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:42, Reply)
Pepsi challenge lols

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:43, Reply)
Pepsi charrenge

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:46, Reply)
Yeah them darn tricky slogans

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:43, Reply)
It was something about Pepsi bringing your dead ancestors back to life.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:45, Reply)
Heyhey!
Racism, much like the sweaty gook I've got tied up in my cellar, is a slippery slope.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:44, Reply)
Bite the wax tadpole!

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:45, Reply)

Pinto Porsche, or BMW X5/6
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:43, Reply)
Mr Eugene Krabbs from Spongebob Squarepants once licked a priest

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:37, Reply)
My car is now fixed.
twenty quid for a second hand part on eBay, bloke brought it over personally and fitted it himself.

The new pessimist in me reckons he'll be back tonight with his mates to do the place over.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:37, Reply)
...then blame you

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:38, Reply)
He was one of your lot as well.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:40, Reply)
A cow?

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:40, Reply)
No, a bud bud type

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:41, Reply)
Probably lazy then

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:42, Reply)
A lazy smelly Mackam

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:42, Reply)
Mum?

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:43, Reply)
howay son diviny diviny shite

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:46, Reply)
Wifi.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:59, Reply)
Sorry but I'm calling you on this
THIS IS A MADE UP FACT
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:38, Reply)

pess opt
do the place over. smash my backdoors in
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:38, Reply)
That caused the problem in the first place

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:39, Reply)
Due to extreme pressure and temperature
It literally rains diamonds on Neptune and Uranus
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:38, Reply)
Ok Rihanna

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:39, Reply)
anna anna anna

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:39, Reply)
hey

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:40, Reply)
alright Fonzy

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:40, Reply)
I am at the pub.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:40, Reply)
waqqqqqqqqqi

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:41, Reply)
Said the paki

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:44, Reply)
That's not really much of an amazing fact

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:41, Reply)
Foreign people are lazy and eat smelly food.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:42, Reply)
Especially the Scottish

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:42, Reply)
Matt Bellamy from chart rockers 'Muse' designed the London Eye.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:43, Reply)
Oh, that man would
get it.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:49, Reply)
Poor bastard.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:50, Reply)
hahaha

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:53, Reply)
I admit,
I might be a slight step down from Kate Hudson.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:54, Reply)
By 'it' you mean 'crushed to death'

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:53, Reply)
Unicorns are mentioned 9 times in the Bible.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:43, Reply)
I am thinking about taking up kickboxing.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:44, Reply)
Son in law seems to like it.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:01, Reply)
A girl I used to share an office with was some sort of UK champion. I'm hoping she might give me some lessons.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:03, Reply)
It's only fair.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:18, Reply)
Fans still offer condolences to Blue Oyster Cult over the death of Gene Frenkle
The cowbell guy from the SNL "more cowbell" sketch. He's a fictional character.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:47, Reply)
WAS a fictional character, he's dead now.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:52, Reply)
AMAZING FACT: Over a period of 200 years, 3 ships perished at the same location
Of the coast of wales, on the same day (Dec. 5th) all three had only one survivor.
The three survivors all had the same name Hugh Williams
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:47, Reply)
Fucking Jonah wasn't he?

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:51, Reply)
alright Edj

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:53, Reply)
It didn't say anything about his sexuality
Also alright edj
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:53, Reply)
Yes I'm well and with a new shed assembled.
Thank you both for asking.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:02, Reply)
Hitler lived until 1978

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:49, Reply)
Man has never landed on the moon.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:49, Reply)
They did, they just found a nazi base there,
which is why they had to fake the moon landing video.

/tinfoil hats
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:51, Reply)
I love that you think this is true
you round-headed little tin-foil-hatter, you.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:52, Reply)
The technical term for arsecrack is "intergluteal cleft"

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:50, Reply)
A girraffe's vocal chords are so long that when they vibrate
the 'sound' is inaudible to all earthling critters.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:50, Reply)
ALL
even other Giraffes?
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:54, Reply)
Yes, the neck length evolved and took the vocal chord length
with it so no talking at all now. Fortunately from that altitude they can all see as far as Cleethorpes so no need to warn each other of anything.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:04, Reply)
Chompy and swipe still want to fuck each other.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:51, Reply)
Jealousy is such a negative emotion

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:52, Reply)
Eva Braun's family are living today of the procceds of the patient for the male disposable razor.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:51, Reply)
Tangles is gradually turning into a girl
www.livestrong.com/article/518337-why-is-soy-milk-bad-for-men/
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:53, Reply)
Monty once dated Suggs.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:53, Reply)
MASSIVE SUGGS

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:54, Reply)
I bet he left your ringpiece gaping like a wind sock.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:55, Reply)
Put it this way, my shits now have the same diameter as a can of coke

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:58, Reply)
It's the real thing

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:06, Reply)
Peter Sutcliffe is innocent.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:54, Reply)
Gordon Ramsay is a scrotum-faced turd.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:55, Reply)
Women are all manipulative bitches.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:56, Reply)
Pint of BITTER?

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:57, Reply)

of sized and
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:58, Reply)
Top reply if I may say so.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:07, Reply)
JFK actually died of an overdose of heart medication

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:57, Reply)
Otto Von Bismarck invented state pensions
Also, if Prince Charles dies while his mother is still Queen, the heir to the throne will be Princess Anne, not Prince William.

True yo.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:58, Reply)
The term 'blow job' is a contraction of 'Below job', as in 'Down below'

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:59, Reply)
'Jay Kay' from pop sensations 'Jamiroquai' is not actually a fucking wanker.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:01, Reply)
Chickens are a genetic experiment gone badly wrong
The fact that they taste delicious is pure chance.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:03, Reply)
Perry and all ciders that are flavoured with fruits other than apples are all shit.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:05, Reply)
Mice are excellent rowers
And in 1896 Summer Olympics, Holland were disqualified for using a team of mice in the coxless four
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:06, Reply)
hahaha this is precisely the kind of thing I was after

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:07, Reply)
Mice are actually within the rules.
Maybe it was a team of cox.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:09, Reply)
Eskimo's can talk, but they can't whisper

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:06, Reply)
Of the 942 types of cheese, only 4 are made outside of the UK

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:07, Reply)
Rimming was invented by Nelson.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:07, Reply)
Mumbai?
No, full on gay.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:07, Reply)
Ha ha

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:09, Reply)
Trousers were invented after a double-skirt was made for popular siamese twins 'Ting and Tang' in 1867
They were the toast of Victorian London, and as such people wanted to copy their 'style'.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:08, Reply)
I can gargle the entire 1812 overture.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:08, Reply)
I can accompany you on the canons if you like.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:09, Reply)
If you play Steve Miller's classic 'Fly Like and Eagle' backwards, it sounds shit.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:09, Reply)
You know what I don't like?
I don't like it when an car seller puts and advert up, the car sells and then they update the ad with "Sold. Another required" as though it's somehow your job to provide them with income.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:09, Reply)
Banks employ a similar strategy.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:11, Reply)
The Beatles once recorded an album of pro-Nazi Merseybeat numbers
But it was accidentally taped over with Rolf Harris' Sun Arise.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:10, Reply)
hahaha

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:11, Reply)
John Virgo is actually a Gemini.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:10, Reply)
Katrina, of pop sensations 'Katrina and the Waves', is an honorary Tongan tribal chief.
Their king is so obsessed with her toe-tappin' positive vibes music that he actually changed their national anthem to 'Walking on Sunshine'.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:11, Reply)
That's actually true

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:13, Reply)
Greenday are the first to admit that they're terrible
and that they're just thrilled that no one seems to have noticed.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:11, Reply)
The original working title for 'Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone'
was Micky Fuckstumps and The Bucket of Bollocks
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:13, Reply)
The largest quantity of beer consumed in one session was set in Waxy O'Connors in 2003 by Stunned.
He managed 47 pints and a packet of pork scratchings.

Before going back to work.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:13, Reply)
harry potter is named after j k rowling's grandfather

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:14, Reply)
Well then who is Micky Fuckstumps named after?

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:15, Reply)
YM

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:16, Reply)
If you put all the lines of gear Monty has consumed in one continuous line it would reach from Scunthorpe to Halifax and back.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:15, Reply)
According to an ancient law that was never repealed
Women are technically forbidden from falling pregnant, unless the conception is witnessed by a goose.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:15, Reply)
There's no such thing as the number '14'

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:16, Reply)
Northern metallurgists 'Saxon' took their name from Biff Byford's old employer, footwear legends 'Saxone'.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:16, Reply)
Cutprice 80s shoemongers 'Freeman Hardy Willis' were formed by the Alan 'Fluff' Freeman, Oliver Hardy's grandson and that wog off Diff'rent Strokes.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:18, Reply)
Eddie Kidd has lined himself up a date
With that Doris who had her eyes poked out.

They are planning on getting faced.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:19, Reply)
Most girls actually enjoy the process of female genital mutilation and as such organise sleep overs where they can all get "trimmed"

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:20, Reply)
Oof you sick bastard.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:21, Reply)
Like Judaism gayness is passed down through the mother not the father

(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:20, Reply)
Started my first new thread on here.
If you think it's shite please offer constructive criticism and kind words of encouragement like you always do.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 17:21, Reply)

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