Morning all
Anyone around? Deviltanians or otherwise?


( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 8:29, 232 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I be here
I don't know what I am. Crap.

It's the morning!!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 8:39, Reply)

Indeed it is the morning, PoD
It's crap weather here. And I'm assuming it'll be worse where you are!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 8:42, Reply)

Well I've just been out
And it seems dry so far, but looks like rain really very soon. Lots and lots of rain.

In work mighty early this morning?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 8:44, Reply)

It's dull and dreich here
with light, but persistent rain.

I'm always in early. I get in about ten past 8 and leave shortly before 5. Suits me better than the nominal 9-5 and I have completely flexible hours anyway.

Which is just as well, as I'm buggering off early today.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 8:48, Reply)

Goodmorning pop pickers!
Having had a good night's sleep thanks to a bottle of red wine. I have decided that being in charge of alcohol and prisons is a job that has my name written all over it.

@K2K6 - Great anthem you wrote last night.
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 8:52, Reply)

Good morning Miss Blouse
I had half a bottle of Merlot last night (the rest will be consumed later tonight) and didn't feel any effect from it. The label definitely said it had alcohol in it. Must have been the b3tard company keeping me sober.

Hmm?

I'll maybe think up some more verses for the anthem. The country does seem to be heavily biased towards the military though, which I find a bit unnerving!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 8:55, Reply)

@k2k6
I think it's just a case of having lots of big shiny machines around to polish rather than a desire to actually use them.

Boys and their toys!

Besides, we need a deterent in case /talk think about invading.
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:02, Reply)

Morning all
I have a day of "working" from home and can't get motivated. Any suggestions?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:05, Reply)

@BGB
I'd have thought Kaol and his knives would have been sufficient defence. A nuclear deterrent and biological WMDs are probably overkill against Woodside Industries and his lot!

Morning Captain P. You can come and help me shift heavy equipment in the lab if you're at a loose end!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:08, Reply)

Hi Captain.
Why don't you promise yourself a little treat later today if you work hard.
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:11, Reply)

My knives?
I'm in no way associated with this.
*sharpens knives*

You all know about the People's Republic of Kaltopia, surely?
( Cawl, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:25, Reply)

Morning all
And morning Captain P, haven't seen you round these parts.

This is the weather according to the PJM weather bureau and it's grey, with a hint of grey with the possibilities of grey fronts moving in from either north/south/east/west at some point today.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:27, Reply)

Morning PJM
Are you surrounded by John Major?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:29, Reply)

Monotone voice
oh edwina norma. oh yes. That's really good.

In a Mr Bean voice for best results.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:32, Reply)

Morning all
my throat hurts, think I'm getting a cold :(
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:33, Reply)

Morning becky
It is still dry here, and I'm holding out hope that it stays that way.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:34, Reply)

Morning all!
I'm in a good mood!

*hugs everyone*

Gig last night was ace, but still waiting for the buzz to wear off and the lethargy to kick in. But until then *more hugs*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:36, Reply)

'lo there BK, Becky
You can't go to work with the cold Becky. You'll give it to your patients. Think of the kittens!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:43, Reply)

How do, K!
But surely little kitten sneezes would be cute.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:44, Reply)

Morning All!
To those with worries re: the Countrys military...

It's just a precaution. Being such a small country, surrounded by big, bad nations, we need to be prepared, is all.

I would like to reiterate that one of our main things is free cake and kittens for all citizens. We will also be introducing a free theme park, a giraffe for every community, great big fields for playing in, fair rates of pay for everyone, low taxes (but no tax on important things like booze and fags), an NHS with no waiting lists, a third tap in the sink that dispenses champagne, a once yearly dance-off, the winner of which will receive a thousand florins, a museum dedicated to pants and a fleet of batmobiles, just for fun.

Even though we'll have to have a prison (there's always bound to be some spies/malcontents), I don't think they'll be very full as the whole populous should be very happy. And, as we're so ace, other countries will want to be chummy with us (thus increasing the value of tourism), which really means the military is there as an absolute last resort.

We will not be going nuclear. Our main weapons will be fear and surprise. And tea.

Morning!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:46, Reply)

@Kaol
Will you subcontract your defence capability to Deviltania then?

Edit. Morning, founding father.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:46, Reply)

I would do K2k6
as I do feel rather rubbish, but I figure it's only 8 hours and we've got a heart specialist coming in today to do heart scans and I don't really want to miss it as I haven't seen any done for months as we don't do them as routine at my new job.

I'm off to the post office, back in a bit
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:47, Reply)

I vote DiT
But I want to have some people shot. Not that many people, just a few who seem to get up my nose on a daily basis, ie:

People who finish a sentence with "innit?".
Hazel Blears
Westlife
Gordon
Piers Morgan
Anyone People who don't get the irony of buying those terrible weekly celeb tabloid magazines
Oh and the BBC exec who came up with "Celebrity Come Dancing".
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:50, Reply)

K2k6...
No.
I will, however, menace you with my noo-cu-lur capabilities.
( Cawl, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:51, Reply)

@PJM
That's a fine list.

I also thought Celebrity Come Drinking would have been better.
And similarly, Ride My Pimp, instead of the other way round.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:53, Reply)

@PJM
I read those terrible celeb tabloid mags. : (


I know they're tat but sometimes I just want to read tat.
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:55, Reply)

@PJM
You really don't like the PM, do you?

(I don't either, but I don't have the vitriol towards him that you seem to!)

Edit - if we add "celebrities who are famous for having done nothing" to your list, that would wipe out quite a few people. And make the magazines redundant.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:56, Reply)

I just found an upside to the weather
It would appear to be the perfect conditions for me to pick up the freeview channels which generally have a rubbish signal, hoorah!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:58, Reply)

Hmmm... I like BGB
So I won't have you shot.

As for the PM, it's not just Gordon. It's the general standard of PMs we've had lately. The last one had Munchausen's syndrome and this new one seems happy to tell us all to eat less food while scoffing Japanese Crab and washing it down with Moet at the G8 summit.

If that doesn't qualify for being shot, then what does?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:59, Reply)

@PJM
As you asked so nicely:

1) People who finish a sentence with "innit?".
- we'll put them in a room with a computer that is programmed to say 'izzit?' in response to every 'innit'. The response time gets quicker and quicker and quicker until the person's head explodes due to a combination of rapid thinking and repetition.

2) Hazel Blears
- Bitten to death by rabid chipmunks? Shooting's to good for that one.

3) Westlife
- Oh, yes. But we shall shoot them in the knees, and then chain their ankles to a wall, leaving them each with a browning with one in the chamber and a hacksaw. We shall then pump 'Flying Without Wings', on repeat, in to the room. They can cut their chains, and then crawl on their ruined legs to turn the music off, in which case they're free, or they can just fucking shoot themselves and to the world a favour.

4) Gordon
- A Chelsea Smile, then thrown to the boars. Fucker.

5) Piers Morgan
- "Welcome to Piers' Got Talent! What, he hasn't? OK then, throw him to the Lions. And then kill the lions, we don't need their Piers-poo infectoing the ground."

6) Anyone caught buying those terrible weekly celeb tabloid magazines
- Shouldn't be much of a problem, none of those kinds of maga in Devilavia. But anyone caught smuggling them in will be dropped from a height of 10,000 feet, without a parachute, in a country with no haystacks.

7) Oh and the BBC exec who came up with "Celebrity Come Dancing".
- Due to the unique way the Devilavian TV service is funded by the stroking of kittens for cash, these people will be torn apart at the limbs by wild donkeys.

This message brought to you by DiT.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:02, Reply)

I'm also not sure about this lets not put anyone in prison idea.
Who the hell am I going to use as my sex slaves if there is no-one in prison.


Oooo! I guess there's always the guards : )
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:04, Reply)

DiT for PM!
Yes! You definitely have my vote...

Some imaginative forms of execution too, although I struggle to tell the difference between Hazel Blears and a chipmunk. One is small and makes an irritating twittering noise, devoid of sensibility.

The other likes burying nuts.

Free kittens and cake! I can't think of a better measure of utopia.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:06, Reply)

^Exactamundo!
Right. I have an opening for a Grand Vizier, a Chief Wizard, an Olympic Mascot, a Mayor, and Head Assassassassin.

Then all the 'top jobs' are gone, but in Devilavia that doesn't matter!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:07, Reply)

Ahhh....
I feel so much better for having vented some vitriol. Let the cake and kittens commence.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:09, Reply)

@PJM
Yes, good point. This government has been in for too long. They've made an arse of things. Just like the Tories did last time.

They both started off OK, then things started to fall about their ears.

To be fair, a lot of what happens in the world is not under the control of our government, but they could take steps to mitigate any problems caused by external factors. And they're not doing that very well.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:09, Reply)

@DiT
Aren't Grand Viziers by definition, a bit on the evil side?
Or is Alladin merely disgusting propaganda defaming the noble profession of Vizierage?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:12, Reply)

May I put forward The Resident Loon for chief Wizard.
He is very handsome and a Pagan.

Edit - What about Chickenlady for head assissin?
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:14, Reply)

^ I saw GB on that Political Hothouse
'The One Show' last night. He sat there, answering questions, with the fakest smile on his face.

"We'll tackle gas and petrol prices." No, you won't. "To make prices come down, the whole world has to put pressure on the oil companies."

"Stop wasting food." I will, when you stop eating swan rolls washed down with unicorns tears, you hypocritical git.

"Inflation only seems high because food is expensive. You'll find that the cost of clothes has gone down." Yes, because clothes are part of our weekly shop, aren't they.

ARGH!

EDIT: BK, GV's are usually depicted as being a bit evil, but I'm looking for someone who can break the mould, you know? Push the envelope, think outside of the box, that kind of thing.

TRL for Wizard, fo sho. Let's ask him when he gets here.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:14, Reply)

Of course GB is going to say that....
As for petrol prices, the treasury is going to rake in an extra £15bn this year thanks to taxes on petrol when oil is $135+ a barrel. The treasury has worked all its estimates at $55 per barrel.

As for me, I don't use my car during the week. I'd rather cycle to work than give Gordon £0.70 out of every £1 I put in my tank so he can spend it on stuff I don't want.

It's cold comfort to know that when you're struggling with your weekly shop, the price of Levi jeans has dropped.

Edit - TRL would make a fantastic wizard. I met him at BGB's January bash and he's a really nice chap in person too.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:21, Reply)

Iiiiin one.
I think you should be a politician, PJM, you might be a good antidote to the swathes of bullshit.

I don't have a car at the moment (getting one in December if I hit my targets, just have to decide what sort), but sometimes I think "is it worth it?". And I do like my bicycle, but it's too far/dangerous to pedal to work!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:24, Reply)

I'd be a crap politician
I'd get thrown out of the House of Commons for calling David Cameron or Gordon a "cunt".
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:25, Reply)

This is why I would vote for you...
:)

Also, who was it that said people who want to be politicians shouldn't be allowed to? Billy Connolly, I think. I also think he was right.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:27, Reply)

Good morning lovely people
I really shouldn't be here - I'm off work today and am supposed to be starting to clear stuff ready for teh builders on Monday.

But I may post a story first.

TTFN!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:28, Reply)

Mornin', Al.
You're in. Wanna job?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:35, Reply)

*grabs Al*
*locks him up in goat-infested gulag*

Sorry, you're now a political prisioner of Kaltopia.
( Cawl, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:36, Reply)

@DiT
'twas indeed Billy Connolly, back in the days when he was funny.

I'm racking my brains thinking of a story for this week's QOTW, but having watched so few films, I have absolutely no idea about any of what's going on this week.

I can't even think of a time where I came out of a cinema thinking, "Oh, that was a really good film. I've seen a few which were utter pish (Eyes Wide Shut, for example - even the copious female nudity couldn't redeem that pile of shite), but nothing that's moved me in a positive way.

So I think I'll stay here instead.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:39, Reply)

@Kaol
'Kaltopia' sounds to me like it should be a type of cough mixture or something.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:40, Reply)

Morning folks.
I have an awful lot of things to do today, it's rubbish.

So, will the capital be known as Devilopolis? I think that's a good name for a city. And is there any space for me?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:42, Reply)

*puts on black combats*
*picks up MP-5*

I'm coming, Al!

EDIT: Course there is, Wookie. Pull up a kitten!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:43, Reply)

Well we could always
go to war with Kaltopia...Not too much bombing before this evening though as I doubt I'll be on here too much today and you need my key card to launch the big guns :)

Off to work, catch you later kids
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:51, Reply)

War
Ok...
Who is your Envoy to Kaltopia?

We need a serious talk...
*strokes nuke-button*
( Cawl, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:54, Reply)

Leave that button alone!
Alright then, Kaltopia. Lets do a deal. Your political prisoners for what? A lift of trade sanctions? A puppy allowance?

A job as cheif armourer (knives) of Devilavia?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:59, Reply)

Come on chaps, we're trying to construct a utopian society here,
so surely all conflicts should be resolved in the Thunderdome?

*two men enter, one man leaves*
*two men enter, one man leaves*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:02, Reply)

Welsh unarmed combat .
It's fighting but no-one gets hurt.
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:05, Reply)

^Ahahahahahahahaha!
^{in you go then...}


IN OTHER NEWS: It am the weekend. What are your plans?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:05, Reply)

I want
The hookers.
ALL of the hookers.

And a regular supply of cake.


Also: Weekend plans: I'm spending the weekend with ancrenne *excited*
( Cawl, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:09, Reply)

It's been my weekend since yesterday
And it goes on until Wednesday. Yays!

Ii start my traveling to Bristol today by heading in the wrong direction in order to get to an airport.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:10, Reply)

Kaol
DONE.

May peace reign supreme! ^{and try not to leave their rotting corpses out in the sun, OK? We like clean pavements...}

Why get married in July? It's too hot. Aha. Ahahaha. Aha.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:11, Reply)

"Why get married in July?"
Because the rain's less cold.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:12, Reply)

*shakes DiT's hand*
*signs 2008 Deviltania/Kaltopia treaty*

*cracks open a hooker in celebration*
( Cawl, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:13, Reply)

@k2k6
Interestingly it's only rained at 1 of the 3 weddings I've been to so far this summer.

Of course, it rained at the one that was in Scotland, and not the 2 in Ireland.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:14, Reply)

I'm playing for a wedding tonight
And guess what - it's raining.

@PoD - Your sums don't add up.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:16, Reply)

Well spotted
I'm a fool.

What kind of stuff do you play at weddings?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:17, Reply)

Weddings
We play mainly Scottish ceilidh stuff, but sometimes throw in some smoochy ballads and a bit of rock and roll. The exact mix depends on the crowd.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:21, Reply)

Cool
We pretty much just play Scottish ceilidh stuff, our fiddler is from Skye so he knows his stuff pretty well.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:23, Reply)

@K2k6 and PoD
I had my first trip to Scotland last weekend and we saw a Ceildh band play and they were awesome.
The large group of English were the only people dancing like loons whilst the bemused residents of Crieff looked on.
twas good.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:24, Reply)

Morning Lucy
Any idea what they were called?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:25, Reply)

PoD
I most certainly do, I bought their CD for my other half, they were North Sea Gas.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:26, Reply)

They sound far more professional than us
Although a few folk earlier in the summer said we had done the best ceilidh they had ever been at :)
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:29, Reply)

As Head Chocolatier
for our paradise, I have created so much chocolate that we are all now very likely to become immense and spotty.
Therefore, I'm going to hold off for a while, and volunteer to be envoy to Kaltopia.
( thealternativefact, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:39, Reply)

@clendrix
Remember to take a small mountain of chocolate with you to keep Kaol sweet!

Edit - and make him fat.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:43, Reply)

Come on back, Al...
*opens gate and prepares ticker tape parade*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:44, Reply)

K2k6
Fat?
Fatter :p
( Cawl, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:48, Reply)

Ooh1 Ooh! Sir, Sir, pick me sir!
Can I be head assassin? Go on, pretty please! I've got all my own equipment (note to self, find plausible deniability when the filth come knocking)
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:48, Reply)

I second Captain P!
Let's have someone efficient and yet amusing in this role, as the movie they make about him in future years will be much better for it.

@Kaol - inaccurate description of yourself.
( thealternativefact, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:53, Reply)

You don't look fat
in CHCB's flickr picture from the bash, Kaol.

Slight double chin maybe.. : )

Feed him chocolate, clendrix. Fatten him up.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:55, Reply)

*purchases trough*
*purchases cattle prod*
( thealternativefact, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:57, Reply)

You've not seen me naked
Clendrix :p

*sighs*
Work is boring today.
I've got some really bad stuff to sort out, but I just want today to be over so I can go to Southampon.
( Cawl, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:57, Reply)

'Ning all, and isn't it a *lovely* morning?
Ahem.

I GOT THE JOB!!
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 11:59, Reply)

Toasties!!!
Yay, early lunch today!! What funs.

I say fatten him up, and then he won't be-able to catch the hookers.

edit - Congratulations Maladicta!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:00, Reply)

Yeah!
Well done!
( Cawl, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:00, Reply)

Kaol, you're right. I haven't seen you naked.
But unless you magically expand* when you remove your clothes, I cannot imagine you could be described as fat.

*No, not like that. FFS, you dirty lot.

Edit: Maladicta - YAY! Fab news.
( thealternativefact, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:03, Reply)

Well done Maladicta
And let's hope your job is not time-consuming and has a good internet connection!

@clendrix - Maybe Kaol wears some sort of corset.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:06, Reply)

Ooh, maybe he does!
First mission as envoy - discover if this is true.
( thealternativefact, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:09, Reply)

We could always
just ask ancrenne.

She might not tell us though.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:11, Reply)

Well done Maladicta!
What will you be doing?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:12, Reply)

Thank you, one and all :)
sorry for the delay in response, I texted Mr Maladicta at work to tell him the good news and we squeed at one another for a few minutes!

@ al - I'm training in London for all of August, so it's a distinct possibility I'll be able to make it and I'll certainly have money for travel as the company is covering my expenses...
No idea if I'm allowed to use b3ta at work though, as far as I recall all the PCs have IE which annoys me :( perhaps time to dig out the proxies!
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:17, Reply)

@ BK
Eurostar customer relations :) dealing with complaints from French and English alike!
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:19, Reply)

@Maladicta
Ooh, customer service!
Rather you than me luvvie, but congrats nontheless!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:27, Reply)

Greetings all
and congratulations Maladicta on getting a job. Does this mean you coming to next Tuesday's London QOTW bash?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:27, Reply)

Spak,
I swear to god you should work in sales! Peddling that Bash again!

*laughs*
( thealternativefact, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:29, Reply)

^ I think it'll be a challenge, definitely.
I start on the 4th of August, working and training in London for a month (expenses paid) before starting work proper in Ashford in September - same building as Stalker Girl but luckily a different department. If the fates smile on me I will never see her.

I could hop on the train and come up next Tuesday... might be able to rope in a couple of other local types, too. I can't remember if jamesthegill said he could come or not and I've not seen him for ages either.
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:31, Reply)

@Maladicta
Where will you do your training? What part of London?

(am not another stalker girl)
( thealternativefact, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:35, Reply)

Nice one, Maladicta!
*cheers*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:38, Reply)

^ Well, Eurostar runs out of St Pancras these days,
so I'm assuming either in the office nearby where I had the interview, or else in the station itself. *is excited*
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:38, Reply)

100.
Yay!

@Maladicta: So does that mean you can provide me with free Eurostar tickets?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:39, Reply)

Then I am also excited
as I work very close to St Pancras. See how things go, but if I'm around and you're not snowed under with trainingy things, we could do lunch!
( thealternativefact, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:44, Reply)

@Maladicta
Congrats on the new job.

'Ave vous un cuppa'. That's the limit of my French.
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:44, Reply)

@ spakka
I can perhaps apply a certain level of staff discount ;) but it wouldn't be my department, sadly.
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:47, Reply)

@ clendrix
Yes, let's be ladies what lunch! I like the sound of that :)
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:48, Reply)

@ BGB
'Dos cervezas por favor' (two beers please) is the limit of my Spanish, and it's all I'd really need in Spain! Mr Maladicta's French extends to "je ne comprends pas"; he got a G in his GCSE and has elected to not speak French any more...
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:49, Reply)

Ladies wot Lunch?
*jealouses*

Does anybody work in Borough/London Bridge?

I am not a lady (except every 3rd weekend), but I can do lunch!

EDIT: Voulay voo couchay avec mwar, se swar?

Je voodray oon sornwich jambonne, veet! Veet!

Je voudre un chambre avec un douche... With a spider in it.

Ques'ce vou dite, vous cassette?

Ou est la plume de matende?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:52, Reply)

Right kids
I'm off to start my fun, fun journey.

Should be fun.

May reappear via pda power tonight.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:55, Reply)

Afternoon all.
@DiT.
How close to London bridge are you?
I'm just the other side of Southwark bridge. Just off Upper Thames St.
( wanderlust, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:01, Reply)

My knowledge of east-european languages can be summed up in one word:
Pivo.

Bye POD. Have a fun journey.

EDIT: Afternoon WL.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:02, Reply)

Well, I say London Bridge...
I'm actually at the bottom of Borough High Street, next to Borough station...

Much higher class of crackhead down here! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:04, Reply)

@Dit
Ahh ok, probably just that little bit too far to meet for a lunch time pint then.
and hello Spakka!
( wanderlust, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:09, Reply)

The joy of my job
is being able to take longish lunches if necessary, giving me plenty of time to meet friends. If I can go as far as Canary Wharf to meet a friend there, I'm sure I could mosey on down to SE1...
( thealternativefact, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:12, Reply)

@clendrix
I'm jealous. I have to ask permission to go for a wee. I can't imagine I'd be allowed to take a long lunch.
( wanderlust, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:18, Reply)

La plume de ma tante est près de la chaise de ma tante
as well you know.
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:19, Reply)

Non. La plume de mon oncle n'est pas bingy bongy boogy bongy.
Qu'est-ce que vous dites? Vous etes un putain.
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:24, Reply)

Non! Pas de tout!
Le plum de matande ne pas dans bingy bongy boogy bogy!

(May contain made up spelling)

Ooh, so you could pop down to SE1? Interesting.

Oh, and lusty? Just wet yourself. You'll never have to ask again!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:25, Reply)

Que le fuck
se passe ici?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:31, Reply)

I could indeed pop down to SE1.
But now, I am going to pop off to Paddington Station instead and from there will travel to Ye Olde Spa Towne of Bath. Whilst there, I shall: eat, drink (hugely), sing, bathe, steam, relax and have a large amount of cuddles with my best friend's 4 month old baby. Bliss is mine.

Have a lovely weekend, all!
( thealternativefact, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:31, Reply)

@K2k6
C'est Eddie Izzard. Maintenant, je continuer:

Non, non, c'est Shredded Wheat. Un peu de lait, un peu de sucre, et mange mange mange mange mange, et apres, pas de dent!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:33, Reply)

It may have been a slight exaggeration
To say I have to ask to go for a wee. But I am the lowest of the pecking order here.
Ah well, that'll all change soon when my training finishes and I get to more liberties like everyone else. :D
( wanderlust, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:34, Reply)

Ah oui
Je comprende, Diable-en-collants.

Have a good weekend in BainBath, clendrix. Enjoy the steam bath!

*envies except for the baby bit*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:37, Reply)

Shredded wheat? Nom nom nom.
Mais en France, c'est "nam nam nam".
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:37, Reply)

.
@K2k6
Ils parlent beaucoup de la vachemerde.

@clendrix:
Bon voyage!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:38, Reply)

Mais!
Le souris est en-dessous de la table, le chat est sur la chaise, et le singe est sur la branche!

... I could do this all day.
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:42, Reply)

.
@wanderlust:
Portez une couche-culotte. Problème résolu.

@WGW
En fait, c'est "miam miam miam"
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:44, Reply)

I can't speak french :(
I just let the funky music do the talking.





sorry everyone.
( wanderlust, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:45, Reply)

@wanderlust and anyone who doesn't speak french
http://babelfish.yahoo.com/
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:48, Reply)

Vraiment!
Peut-etre "nam nam nam" est les Pays-Bas?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:49, Reply)

@ Ancrenne
Was that Welsh?

If so, would it be pronounced "*snerk**cough**hack**spit* da?", or have I always been identified as English before being greeted?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:52, Reply)

Dim siarad Cymraeg.
No one in my family does :(
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:59, Reply)

@al
A uni firend of mine was in Aberystwyth hiking and spotted a graffitied slogan in Welsh on a wall.
He asked a passing local if he could tell him what it meant.
The fella said, 'Yes, it says "English go home". Pity the stupid bastards wrote it in Welsh, really."

*may be apocryphal*
He was a right bullshit merchant.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:59, Reply)

@al
yes, yes I am.
I would tell you more but well, what will the neighbours say? Possibly something kinda ooooh?
( wanderlust, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:00, Reply)

I have an aunt who's Welsh
and although she hasn't lived there for 40 years, she still has a very strong, but pleasant, accent and speaks the language when she visits family back home.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:03, Reply)

@al
I do too.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:05, Reply)

Hi ancrenne, bye ancrenne
Missed her but even so, am covered in phlegm.

When will the Welsh discover the joys of vowels?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:10, Reply)

I have a special tank
...with racing stripes being painted for our Fearless Leaders daily commute.

Good Morning All! How are tings in the future?
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:14, Reply)

Hurrah!
Morning, Citadel. The future's quite grey, sadly.

But it's still a brave new world!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:15, Reply)

My parents are very very Welsh
despite having lived in England and Scotland for the past 20 years and only recently having moved back. My dad gets so offended if anyone calls him English it's not even funny.

It's awkward going to the North on the rare occasion I'm back in Wales because everyone switches to Welsh the minute you walk in, and all I can say is "hello", "happy birthday", "thank you", "I don't speak Welsh", and "fuck off".
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:17, Reply)

Hi everyone.
Miserable fucking grey bastard twatting day that it is.

Sorry I'm being especially serious today to please Kaol.

I had sex with a welshman once. That is all I have to say on the matter.
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:18, Reply)

Morning/afternoon, Citadel
It's a grey day here. And to sum it up, I've just discovered that the vibrating alert on my mobile phone has ceased to be, and I am thus unalerted vibrationally.

Small things going wrong are so annoying!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:20, Reply)

@ Maladicta
I'm not Welsh but I know how he feels I hate it when I'm called English as well.

@ Everybody else

Afternoon all

@ Citadel

The futures so bright you gotta wear shades.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:20, Reply)

Wellll
Its sunny over here, so I will get in contact with my 'associates' in Beijing and find out exactly 'what' they plan on using to alter the opening ceremony weather and see if we cant hide the cost for it in our 'discretionary, secret platform development fund'.

G'mornin' back to ya'll!


Herr Doktor: Can those be those whacking great big aviator shades? I only ask because Oakleys look silly in my dress uniform.
By the way, does it comfort you that the Armed Forces guru uses southern terms like 'Ya'll'?
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:21, Reply)

@ Dr Minge
Where are you from then? Conversely, when told that because my parents are Welsh, by extension I am too, I usually get a bit annoyed: it's a natural reaction from the sheer volume of sheep-shagger jokes I got in school...
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:22, Reply)

@Citadel
Sp long as you're not called Cletus and don't sit on your verandah of an evening chewing a straw and playing your banjo, I'd say a simple "Y'all" is quite acceptable!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:22, Reply)

@Citadel.
I think you should have an accent like Keneau Reeves in Bill & Ted.

Whoooaaaa! like nuke them bro.
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:23, Reply)

actually
I have more of a Matthew McConaughey kind of accent. And while I DO on ocasion sit on my front porch, I dont chew straw: its typically a mint julip in my hand and possibly some Skoal I am chewing on.

Trust me: Not ALL southerners are Cletus-types. :)
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:25, Reply)

@ Miss Dicta
I'm from the wilds o' Scotland, where we all speak the lovely Queens English, and don't have our own language at all. Well at least one that anybody can speak.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:27, Reply)

*bounds in*
'lo all!

*snogs all round*

what did i miss?

fill me in pleeeeeeeeease!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:28, Reply)

@Citadel
What about Matthew McConaughey's body? Does the similarity go as far as that too?
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:28, Reply)

@hey tulip
*hugs*

Fill you in you say?
I don't think you mean that.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:30, Reply)

@ BGB
Well, after my trip to Iowa, I will be a considerable bit closer. Senior rank has dulled my senses and improved the quality of my food, so I MAY have just the slightest hint of 'love handles' but Iowa will correct that.

Speaking of which: rumor has it that my similar speaking friend, the Matthew Mc, may be joining us on our ride to battle cancer this year. SO if given the opportunity, I will size myself up alongside Matt and see what comparisons I can draw.

edit: G'mornin' Tulip!
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:30, Reply)

Hey tulip!
Not much, really. We have some good debates going on, and I've formed a new country.

Oh yes. I have power. Imaginary power, but power all the same!

EDIT: The countryside is safe and clean
O'er hill and dale we frolic
Thanks to the founder of the land
'Betighted-Diabolic'
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:32, Reply)

'Noon HLT
You don't really want anybody to 'fill you in' do you!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:32, Reply)

@ BK
Well, not literally!

@ Devil - a new country? can I come to play please?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:32, Reply)

@ DIT
So, honestly, tell me: DOES power corrupt? And does imaginary power corrupt imaginarily?
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:33, Reply)

HLT:
You may! *opens gates*

@Citadel: Not yet. But then, I've got a great team of people in the best country in the world. Corruption's not an option.

I still don't have a harem though. You'd have thought there'd be some perks.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:34, Reply)

@Citadel
In truth I have no interest in the buff and oiled. Don't know why the hell I asked.

Edit - @DIT, I'm sure Bert would like to be in your harem.
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:37, Reply)

Good to know
So as I am packing my seabag in preparation for my deployment, are there any pressing matters requiring my attention this morning? I heard rumblings of a new country...do we have an opinion yet on overwhelming them with our superior military? Or are we planning on being friendly neighbors?

If you're not sure, I CAN put one of our attack turtles on the border, just to make sure we have no infiltration.

And also: I am about to go take a shower. This packing thing is taking longer than I thought, and I must be clean.

@ DIT: Harem? Damn. Thats a brilliant idea. Perhaps, since I am single, I might also attempt to build a small harem? I mean, it would never grow larger than HALF of your Harem, but at the end of the day, it WOULD be kind of nice to have at least a Harem of one to come home to. You know?
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:38, Reply)

@DiT
Is the Grand Vizier position still available?
I'm not evil but I could do vaguely Machiavellian. I can say thinks like "Eeeexcellent!" and rub my hands with glee E45.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:40, Reply)

@ Devil
Yay!

*runs through gates*

Can I be Minister for Cake please?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:42, Reply)

@Citadel
we are enjoying peace with Kaoltopia at the moment, but I'll leave the attack turtles on Standby.

Also, of course you may have a harem. Help yourself!

BK: OK, the jobs yours. But one trace of an uprising and I'll throw you to the piranhas myself.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:43, Reply)

Thank you DiT
Won't let you down.

*eeeexcellent*
*grows suspicious goatee*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:47, Reply)

Afternoon, HLT
I think clendrix got the cake job last night. But I may be mistaken. She was certainly making a lot of chocolate.

Edit - or maybe it was Moniker...? Can't remember.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:49, Reply)

Hey, I don't have a job yet!
Then again, I don't think I need too much responsibility - I'd be happy with a modest kitten ranch of my own, just outside town.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:52, Reply)

HLT Can be The Cake Supremo.
Clendric got Chocolate.

IN OTHER NEWS: I need a new suit for a wedding. Any ideas where I can get a good but relatively cheap number from?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:53, Reply)

@DiT
Slater's are pretty good value for suits.

Edit - and I'm glad the cake job was still available. HLT is the natural choice for that post.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:56, Reply)

My God K2K6
Your giving DIT fashion advice. Noooooooooo!
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:58, Reply)

* Fills in HLT
with cream! *

@DiT: Moniker got Cake and Tea. HLT could take over cake, and Monkier would be left with Tea.

BTW: I'm currently minister of Gadgetry and Imports/Exports. If there's not enough positions to go round, I could pass on Imports/Exports to someone else.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:59, Reply)

Calm down BGB
it's only an advert.

I've never bought a suit out of Slater's. Mates of mine have recommended it to me, but I've only ever been in the place once, when they had a sale on and I bought my dad a designer shirt for his birthday.

I bought my only good suit at a factory outlet store!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:00, Reply)

Harem Sought
To all females in this country:

The head of Armed Forces, the most highly exaulted Citadel seeketh companionship in the form of a 'Harem' (I dont know if it is, according to Webster appropriate, but a Harem of '1' will likely do).

I have a great deal of power and influence. Also, controlling the military intelligence as I do, I could like have Marine Force Recon make your life absolutely dream-like.

All females desiring said position, please gaz Citadel off line with all the appropriate humbleness of your station.

Sic Semper Tyrannis!

@ Al: G'mornin'! So by Vanderlay, do you mean to imply that he is George Costanza's boss?
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:00, Reply)

woo!
Ministerial Decree #1
All subjects shall eat cake

that is all

if you want a REALLY cheap suit, try Asda. Or Tesco. then if you get squiffy at the wedding and do a sick on it, it won't matter.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:03, Reply)

It doesn't help that I haven't worn a suit for 3 years...
And Thailand's not exactly convenient! :)

I'm scared of Thailand anyway. I'm sure that I'll get drugs planted on me and I'll end up in a Thai prison. Do. Not. want.

Ah, Moniker'll understand, I'm sure.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:04, Reply)

*Puts hand up to join Harem.*
Hell who am I kidding, I'd put out for a twinky!
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:06, Reply)

Oh, no.
I want a certain amount of class and sophistication. Waistcoat and everything! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:07, Reply)

WHAT?!
A Woman? Agreeing to be in my Harem?! HOLY CRAP! I didnt think that ad would work! WOWSERS!

Erm...

Why excellent Big Girl's Blouse. Consider yourself now a part of my Harem. It is most excellent of you to join the Harem team. I will be most delighted to...erm...yes.

@DIT: you deserve to die for that one. argh.
Though, I will protect you to the death.
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:09, Reply)

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
If you got a few people in the Harem, and then went around the world, you could call yourselves the Harem Globetrotters.

/dies.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:10, Reply)

you can't be a harem by yourself, Miss Blouse
*joins*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:12, Reply)

As long as it doesn't interfere with my ministerial duties.
Then I'm happy to do my bit for King and country.

I shall lie back and think of Deviltonia or whatever this damn place is called.
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:12, Reply)

Wait
Okay, so I think that I just made a monumental arse of myself:

When BGB volunteered for the Harem, I ASSumed it was MY Harem, NOT Fearless Leader's.

Man. All those years learning how to use various weapons systems when I REALLY should have been working on woo'ing the ladieeeees!

Damn it!

So much for my Darwinian breeding concept.

And look at Fearless Leader! He's got two of the hottest chicas' ON this thing! FFS.

Ah well. Looks like another night home alone with the interweb. Thank God for video games...nothing unwinds me better than coming home from a day of battle planning and Macchiavelian doings than to come home and fire up either ROME: Total War or Call of Duty.
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:15, Reply)

@Citadel.
It was your harem. I will however be doing this for King and country as you are doing your bit for King and country. If however the king wishes to borrow me then so be it.
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:18, Reply)

It's Devilavia.
And I thought they'd signed up for you, Citadel...

EDIT: See? :)

DOUBLE EDIT: Geek alert! Talking of Videogames, is anyone on XBox Live?

THIRD AND FINAL EDIT: Cheers al! That looks like it'll do for me! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:18, Reply)

Oh yes, so it is
Sorry, I've been calling it Deviltania. It started as Deviltopia, I believe, until the revolution.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:20, Reply)

I had no idea whose harem it was
I'm easy, see.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:21, Reply)

^Yarp.
But it's the marketing team, they keep rebranding.

In Devilavia, Snickers will be henceforth renamed 'Marathon', and Starburst will be 'Opal Fruits'.

amen.

EDIT: Pastafarianism as state religion?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:22, Reply)

If we can't have celeb tabloid magazines in this place.....
then we sure as hell aren't having bloody gaming.

Edit - Laughs, I'm glad to have a kindred spirit in HLT.
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:23, Reply)

Perhaps
we could have some sort of harem-sharing scheme....

*hopes*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:23, Reply)

I don't think so, BGB.
I don't think so. :)

(EDIT: Anyway, you're senior government. You can read the mags as 'research' without impunity.)

ANOTHER DOUBLE EDIT: I should think you can have your own Harem, K2k6. I mean, you are musician after all!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:24, Reply)

@K2K6 - Harem-sharem? Sorry.
@BGB - Dissent! To the Thunderdome!
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:24, Reply)

Well, how many harems can one be in?
A girl only has so much energy and baby oil, you know.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:27, Reply)

Actually, I've been thinking
Can I have a harem as well please?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:28, Reply)

You lot do remember I'm 43.
I'll be ok for short burst of sexual activity but then I'll need a week or so off.

You need to cast the net for younger and more nubile ladies.


Edit - now joins HLT's harem. *glees*
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:28, Reply)

Ah, thank you, DiT
My own harem would be nice.

I must take my leave now though. Real life calls again.

I may well be back around the witching hour tonight.

Au revoir.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:29, Reply)

sniff sniff
The Citadel is touched by the comments by BGB and HLT.

Ahhhhhhhhh. My Mom will be SO proud! However, I think my Dad will be MORE proud. :) Two of the hottiest hotterston's ON this bloody thing! HUZZAH ME! And Happy Lil Tulip and Big Girls Blouse!

When can we start to make ze babies?!
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:30, Reply)

@ al
course you can honey. hop on.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:30, Reply)

Hmm.
Girls may have Harems, of course.

Being the fearless leader, though, I may not be able to attend the needs of all the Harems. I am but one man in high demand.

@Al - what's frigstianity?

EDIT: dur! If you google it, it's the top result!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:32, Reply)

Surely as Grand Vizier
I can flit between harems as well.

@al
Your scheming shall be tantamount to naught, good Sir.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:33, Reply)

Can we have a state religion called 'abstentia?'
I seem REALLY good at that.
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:34, Reply)

A harem would be nice,
but I'd settle for hair.

*balds*

I'm going home early, yay! May be back later for a bit. In the meantime I will be working on increasing production at the kitten ranch, so that in the case of a crop failure there will still be enough to go around.

DiT - Can I have some funding for a kitten silo? I will need a place to store the surplus.

*envisions swimming Scrooge McDuck-style in a sea of fluffeh*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:34, Reply)

Nobody mentioned babies.
I'm not having babies.

I've got old manky eggs anyway.


Edit - I'm off home now. See you later or not depending on who's here.
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:35, Reply)

*grants wookie ONE MILLION DEVILTONS*
Do with them what you will, as long as it is raising kittens.

Bye, BGB!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:42, Reply)

aurevoir BGB
Have an AMAZING week! I shall be out battling the hordes. In fact, my Mitsu-50 Urban Assault Vehicle is becoming more and more loaded with each passing minute!

I am going to miss you guys next week!
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:47, Reply)

And we'll miss you too!
In the meantime, 188-9?

sometimes, I'm embarassed by the England Cricket team.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:50, Reply)

Bye BGB & anyone who left since I last posted.
@HLT: I'll be in your harem if you'll be in my harem.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:52, Reply)

ooo. A harem.
*wafts veils about* Which one has vacancies?
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:57, Reply)

who said babies?
did someone say babies?

I need to practice first though.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 15:58, Reply)

Maladicta...
My harem has vaccancies.
I'm free to interview prospective wo-mens now.
( Cawl, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:02, Reply)

^ Well, I am a lady, I have veils
and I used to live with my friend Rhylie who has her own poledancing pole.
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:04, Reply)

@ spakka
Deal.

*shakes*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:06, Reply)

@HLT
Indeed: "I" said Babies! Practice makes perfect...or in this utopia, perhaps PUUUURRRRRFECT is more appropriate?

God, why do I all of a sudden feel like Catwoman?
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:08, Reply)

Purrrfect?
then shurely you mean kittens not babies.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:18, Reply)

MIchelle?
Um. Do I? I personally dont think so: if I did I would never have to leave my house.

;)

As for kittens vs. babies...um, maybe we can practice and see what we get! I'm ALL about practice myself!
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:21, Reply)

Well then Maladicta
You just have to pass the final challenge.

*hands you a paperknife*

*locks you in a room with 10 small children*

I need three spleens, then I'll let you out.

Go!
( Cawl, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:24, Reply)

Well then.
What are you waiting for?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:26, Reply)

I'm waiting for a number 179.
Or for a chance!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:36, Reply)

Ancrenne!
Surely you'll be waiting for a train soon?
( Cawl, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:39, Reply)

I'm popping in quickly
before I go for a nap, mainly to to.....


*SNOG ANCRENNNNNNENENENENENE!!!*
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:40, Reply)

I'm waiting for
cake and booze and party!

Which will happen in about 10 minutes.

I love my job :)
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:41, Reply)

*returns, with knife, and kittins*
I couldn't harm the children that much, I just glared at them. That normally seems to work. But I found this basket of kittins and I hope they'll serve a purpose as a bribe.
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:42, Reply)

Hmmmm
Where exactly ARE you HLT?

:)
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:43, Reply)

HLT
What exactly do you do dear?
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:43, Reply)

*stabs kittens one by one*
*sings happily*

*flicks blood over the walls*

Ok, you got the job!
( Cawl, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:44, Reply)

It's ten to five
I'm at my desk, in the theatre, in Scotland, which is in Britain (for now).

And we're having a surprise party for one of our volunteers, who will turn 60 on Monday!

Any excuse to crack open the bubbly ;)


well this is the theatre dahlings!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:45, Reply)

*licks blood*
*nibbles eyeballs*
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:47, Reply)

Poor kittins!
Still, with monies I can buy more and love them and snuggle them.
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:50, Reply)

Ladies and Gennermen!
It's the three-time winner of the DiT B3tan of the Day award:

Madaaaaaaaaaaam Maaarlborooooooo!

Alright?

What's this? *licks* tastes like... Kitten blood!

ARGH!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:50, Reply)

MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
How goes it ditty boy? I'm about to be rocknroll and go for a nap.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:54, Reply)

Well, thank you!
I'm a bit sad because most of my friends have gone to Latitude festival and I haven't, but other than that I'm ok.

Napping? But you're full of vim and vigour! I hope it's a power nap in preperation for SHENANIGANS!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:55, Reply)

Kind of
I have to go and photograph a 21st birthday party tonight. And the fact that I've had to change my trousers twice because I've spilt dogfood and soup down them respectively makes me think that I might be overtired.

You don't want to be in a muddy field full of tents. That would be rubbish.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 16:58, Reply)

Right
I am off to make sleep.

al, I suggest you start writing "all work and no play makes al a dull boy" so that you can give it to your lady when she gets home. Hopefully she won't leave you alone again.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 17:05, Reply)

Thanks!
I would have liked to go though. Oh well, holiday is more important!

My rocknroll Friday will involve going home, washing up, and watching a movie or two.

Nice!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 17:06, Reply)

Have a GREAT weekend and week Everybody
I can hear the choppers hovering...
Hovering over-hea---ad
They've come to take the wounded...
They've come to take the dea-aad

Mariiiii-iiiiii-nnnne
Recoooo-oooo-oo-oo-oon

Semper Fidelis Everyone. God Speed and "At Ease!"

Citadel out, over.
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 17:29, Reply)

.
.
Chat continues here
.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 22:11, Reply)