How the fuck am I supposed to run 8 miles in this heat tonight?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:12, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

HAHA!
You should try being fat and bald instead, I'm much happier this way.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:13, Reply)

lol
Have you stopped your running?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:15, Reply)

Yeah, fuckign mugs game mate
I'm getting back on the bike though.

And once I've finished with Swipe I'm going cycling too.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:16, Reply)

badum tish
GNR to sort for me
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:16, Reply)

Patience. Before you know it the sun'll have gone and we'll be stuck with November rain

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:19, Reply)

Or more accurately, only Axl to go.....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:40, Reply)

Ha.....
ha
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:17, Reply)

Do you wear half moon spectacles and a jacket with leather elbow patches?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:19, Reply)

so long as it's real leather

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:19, Reply)

Bit nosey aint you

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:21, Reply)

I just imagine that you are the natural successor to Enzyme
You have a small laptop set up on a victorian writing desk, the kind with the inlaid leather surface (is that a blotter?).

You sit there with your pipe filled with shag tobacco, occasionally polishing your half moon specs and gazing wistfully out of the window across the grounds of your house, thinking back to a time when you and Vanessa were truly happy. But then that brings back memories of that incident, and you don't like to dwell on such things anymore. Your brow furrows and you glance angrily at the corner of the room.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:39, Reply)

that's not how i see him
i think he used to be a bit of a cool kid, but these days the mortgage and the kids have ground him down a bit. he is not fat, but softening around the edges, his dick doesn't get as hard as it used to either, christ sometimes it won't stand up at all. he knows his hair is thinner than it used to be, and fucking hell, hangovers HURT these days, so he often turns down that last pint, and whilst he's mostly happy, just sometimes he wonders... WHERE DID MY 20'S GO?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:42, Reply)

Are you describing HH or yourself?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:43, Reply)

swipey's cock is still like rock

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:43, Reply)

it says "chompy" all the way through?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:46, Reply)

shudder

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:49, Reply)

Sorry, did that give you a crisis?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:51, Reply)

i don't even own an dick

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:45, Reply)

*wipes away tear*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:43, Reply)

I think he's a woofter

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:43, Reply)

says the guy who was balls deep in battered's wizened a-hole only this morning

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:45, Reply)

But that was this morning.
Thatw was ages ago.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:51, Reply)

Everyone knows you're not gay if you're the giver Swipers FFS

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:54, Reply)

It's to provide a smooth surface to write on
as wood grain will bounce a pen all over the shop.

/boringfact.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:49, Reply)

Yes, but is that what's called a blotter?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:53, Reply)

No, a blotter is paper/card for blotting an fountain pen/quill on
like this: www.andys-pens.co.uk/cathianpix/hdblc_lg.gif
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:56, Reply)

i've got an hour of hardcore personal training
and then the theatre. on the hottest night of the year.

SYMPATHY FAIL.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:15, Reply)

I'm not after sympathy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:16, Reply)

no, you were supposed to be giving it to me

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:19, Reply)

*gives it to swipe*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:41, Reply)

Yeah, well I've just been through Birmingham.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:16, Reply)

Harsh

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:16, Reply)

Are you OK?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:16, Reply)

I think he might need a kipper tie.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:18, Reply)

Textbook.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:18, Reply)

No.
Loads of kids have just got on and they are making an insane amout of noise.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:18, Reply)

How many Gazzes from Dozer have you had saying..
"are you there yet"?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:18, Reply)

Haha
No, I won't be free 'till Friday if at all.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:32, Reply)

I am surprised it ain't raining in the 'Castle.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:17, Reply)

Really humid and overcast at the moment

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:18, Reply)

Blue sky and blazing sun here.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:20, Reply)

well
You have got to lose yourself in the music, the moment for instance.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:19, Reply)

sportscow might not get this, he's from pakiStan

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:21, Reply)

Never mind where he is from
he is quite dim, and very very old so may not be able to get yoof references
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:28, Reply)

Very old?!
I'm 38 sir (though I did query my own age only last week)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:41, Reply)

I was going to say extremely old
So very was the nice version



(you are still younger than me fucksocks)
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:44, Reply)

I put it to you, sir, that you should get a new pair of fucksocks forthwith

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 16:50, Reply)