I'll just leave this here for when we've finished mocking Monty's real estate aspirations
www.theguardian.com/politics/shortcuts/quiz/2013/aug/13/quiz-ukip-fruitcake-test

I am apparently far too lefty for UKIP.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:15, 130 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I am not

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:18, Reply)

Can't do it on mobile.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:18, Reply)

Can on Chrome

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:47, Reply)

hey
With a great score of 35 I have been selected as a candidate....
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:22, Reply)

first time for everything...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:26, Reply)

I sorted the world out over beer with two different sets of friends' friends two nights running.
Pretty well the exact same conversation with each, and the reaction to my opinions one night was "The problem with you right-wing arseholes is ... ", followed by "The problem with you lefty tossbags is ... "

I was pretty happy with that as a result.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:24, Reply)

Hi there... Mr Clegg

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:26, Reply)

Oof.
There's no need for that sort of behaviour.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:28, Reply)

Sorry Vag
Of all the things I have said on here that's quite possibly the harshest,
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:48, Reply)

I scored 20. I have no idea or interest what this is supposed to mean.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:24, Reply)

I did too
I think that means you're occasionally a bit mental but mostly sane.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:27, Reply)

Wrong way round.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:27, Reply)

Apparently my Right On views
Would suit a job at the BBC
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:25, Reply)

what we all really want to know is did chompy call his gf a sex worker?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:25, Reply)

Or has swipe been gazzing her information about his former caddish ways?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:28, Reply)

meh, she was always going to realise he's a loser
the reason won't change the facts
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:36, Reply)

Monty's aspirations are far better than mine.
I couldn't afford to buy in London. I'll have to co-own, which means a proper grown-up relationship like the one Chompy just threw away.
( Kroney, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:26, Reply)

look he'd been up all night high end gaming and drinking home brew, he didn't mean to snap, but why can't she put her fucking thongs in the wash basket!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:29, Reply)

The nipple tassles get caught around the drumshaft, burning the motor out.
LAST NIGHT WAS THE LAST FUCKING TIME, TALLULAH
( Kroney, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:30, Reply)

Because they're all stuffed under his side of the mattress

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:34, Reply)

You might want to work on that proposal before you try it out on your original gangster girlfriend

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:29, Reply)

I glad I'm not the only person who thinks og means this

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:31, Reply)

The other week, we were driving somewhere-or-other, I forget.
Anyway, we drove past some coppers and she made a pistol out of her fingers and did a sideways style simulated driveby at them.

Me face did this: 8/
( Kroney, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:32, Reply)

Good job you aren't Brazilian then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:36, Reply)

Fact.
I like my gonads hairy.
( Kroney, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:37, Reply)

+ and I cannot lie

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:39, Reply)

Sky news cameraman was shot dead in Egypt today.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:26, Reply)

Finally some good news.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:27, Reply)

Was this the cause of your marital woes?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:28, Reply)

25/100
Can't say the answers fully covered people's belief systems.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:29, Reply)

You mean is isn't an accurate reflection on how I should perceive my political views?
Where do I go from here?
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:30, Reply)

Back to Bongo Bongo land!!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:30, Reply)

To the trees!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:31, Reply)

I got 5/100
But really none of that music is likely to make me cry.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:31, Reply)

bagpipes are fucking horrendous!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:34, Reply)

I bet you love a bit of bagpiping

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:35, Reply)

Tea bagging

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:37, Reply)

Bat winged

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:38, Reply)

That's a new one on me.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:45, Reply)

Think tea bagging + extra skin

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:46, Reply)

It made me think of Batfink.
Now Im just sad :(
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:48, Reply)

hahahaahahah

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:50, Reply)

You're more of a Northumbrian pipes kind of guy, eh?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:36, Reply)

Same shit, different hills.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:37, Reply)

I don't really respect your opinions on music though
No offence
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:39, Reply)

*shrugs*

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:45, Reply)

I'm not clicking on a fucking Guardian link
ukip are a bunch of gay hippies.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:32, Reply)

Good. No-one cares about your score anyway.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:33, Reply)

80 or 90 I'm guessing

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:34, Reply)

Who exactly are they Guardian's of?
Wishy washy journalism I say!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:34, Reply)

YEAH
Guardians of fucking quinoa and ironic national health specs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:36, Reply)

Hi

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:36, Reply)

The multiple choice options boiled down to
A) Right-on Guardian vegan hemp-bothering piss horse answer
B) UKIP
C) Answer that right-on Guardian journalists think is exaggerated for comedic effect.

It was awful to sit through.
( Kroney, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:35, Reply)

this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:35, Reply)

^ this

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:36, Reply)

^ All of these

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:36, Reply)

^ that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:37, Reply)

^ Im involved too!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:38, Reply)

^ hi guys! what's going on?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:42, Reply)

b3ta centipede

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:42, Reply)

Bagsy the front!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:44, Reply)

officesmirk

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:45, Reply)

Oi this is a no Smirking building

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:30, Reply)

I really enjoyed it!

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:51, Reply)

I got 55/100.
And have been selected. Should i feel proud?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:34, Reply)

Captain's Log, Sadship Enterprise Sad Date 2487.9
Sensors indicate another ship in the distance. It seems to be without power, it's a strange brown colour. Like leather, yet somehow...not. A wisp of smoke emanates from its bridge.
( Kroney, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:47, Reply)

so, leatherette then?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:49, Reply)

Surely it could brew its own fuel?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:49, Reply)

So, that girl what killed herself
Did she really send most of the messages herself?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:51, Reply)

HUH?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:54, Reply)

Dunno.
Cheers.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:55, Reply)

Nah it was me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 14:56, Reply)

nah it was me lol

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:05, Reply)

MARR it was me

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:05, Reply)

So anyway, when the cool kids have their 'bashes' in 'the smoke'
What's the form for drink buying? Pre-organised round system or play it by ear? I bet you get one who chugs their way through three quarters of their gin and tonic then put's the breaks on till someone else finishes and asks everyone what they're having and then orders a triple Glenfarclas or something. Is that the way of it?
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:13, Reply)

Which of these ideas is the most fucking stupid?
I think the Scotland Ireland bridge.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:16, Reply)

Hey! You leave Phil Cool alone!

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:18, Reply)

31 Minutes. Hooray!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:29, Reply)

ABANDON THREAD! THIS ONE'S GOING DOWN!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:33, Reply)