If you wanted to find a prostitute would you be able to do so?
Do you know the etiquette? I know those of you from 'the smoke' where you have your 'bashes' invented the word 'sordid' so I'm putting this out there for those that might live somewhere with just a post office, pub and church or summat. How do you get away with being a 'punter' prowling for 'toms' outside of big cities. Do they take Visa?

Er, a friend was interested btw.

Alt: Did you ever put your chewing gum on your bedpost overnight?

Altalt: Do you tut loudly when you hold the door open for someone and they don't say thanks? Just how cripplingly passive aggressive are you?
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:18, 155 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Alt:alt: When driving, I say 'thanks' out loud when I have passed another driver who hasn't done the 'hand up thank you signal' when I have given way.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:21, Reply)

I'm far to tight to pay for sex
alt: no
alt:alt: Ignorant drivers do make my blood boil
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:35, Reply)

too

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:38, Reply)

i think this answers the passive aggressive aquestion

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:39, Reply)

I'm far to tight to just throw about o's

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:50, Reply)

I imagine these days one would search on the internet
although then of course the government would know. It's a tricky one.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)

Whoah, nice thinking man
like an imdb for prozzies.

I wonder if you get any things over here like in that film with the big house of whores, set in texas I think. I forget the name. Anyway it's just ahouse full of 'toms' and you just go there and even the the sheriffs in on it! Crazy!!
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)

From news stories I think big houses of whores are more illegal
like, the sum is greater than the parts or something.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)

www.rate-my-tradesmans.com

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:11, Reply)

Disclaimer I have never even been to a strip club let alone visited a lady of the night
However when I worked in internet sales we used to play punternet top trumps... It was a website that allowed gentlemen to rate the services provided by the ladies...

Obvs NSFW but its a good giggle (assuming the site still exists)
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:19, Reply)

"is there anyone here who hasn't had a C-section?"
gotta love family guy
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:27, Reply)

bute street in cardiff attracts a lot of prostitutes
my mate used to live near there and i'd often get propisitioned when walking to his place at night
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:43, Reply)

Did he wonder why you were always 5 minutes late?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:58, Reply)

more like 2 minutes, haha, know what i'm saying ladies?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)

I started at 20 minutes and kept editing it down before I finally hit post

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:13, Reply)

I just called someone I spoke to on the phone a twat.
Once I had hung up.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:43, Reply)

I'd just ask YM

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)

i went out with a guy who had shagged hookers in his past
but if he thought they were unhappy or needed the money, he'd just pay them without doing anything. basically i think he was looking for the fantasy of a hot dirty girl who wanted to take money for the thrill of it, rather than someone trying to make the rent/feed her kids. because that really really exists.

they must have thought he was a TOTAL sucker.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)

If they're unhappy or need the money I make them beg, then I degrade them AND me.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Just try the internets I'd assume. Train stations are always good places for vice and drugs, allegedly.
Alt,I only chew gum if I've boshing the powders, so no.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)

I have absolutely no idea, Reginald.
I can't imagine why anybody would pay for something that's pretty easy to get for free.

I have had new indicators turn up! :D
( Kroney, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Not required on a German car, surely?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:59, Reply)

Required by law
their actual use is more of a gray area.
( Kroney, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:09, Reply)

Well for someone high in oats like BONANZA JOE I'm sure this is the case
but others are not so fortunate and/or ginger
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:01, Reply)

Quick pill in a drink and it's happy fun boning times for even the ugliest man.
For the gingers, there's swipe.

Always thinking, Reg. That's me. Always thinking.
( Kroney, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:08, Reply)

Hey K-dog you know that hotel you stayed at
The wife spotted a beach property just near it for sale, bit steep for the size of it, but the location is fantastic

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-39660938.html?premiumA=true
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:02, Reply)

Wow.
That's a lot of money.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)

Yeah, I'll just dig into my piggy bank.
We did notice those buildings, though. They are pretty nice.
( Kroney, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:08, Reply)

Lully.
The beach looks great.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:11, Reply)

Carbis bay is one of my favourite beaches in Britain

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:11, Reply)

It's easily one of mine, as untouched as Camber Sands without any of the attendent chav-scum.

( Kroney, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:20, Reply)

EXACTLY

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:32, Reply)

It's no "Boyce towers"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:27, Reply)

There is a brothel diagonally opposite my flat.
Above 'Billy's Cafe', which is nice.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:00, Reply)

And not too pricey.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)

Convenient.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)

London is great.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)

Is this a usp, for selling your flat?
Greasy spoon, and knocking shop?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)

You don't want to know why the spoon is greasy.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:14, Reply)

Thats no spoon.....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:21, Reply)

there's a brothel in cathays called touch of class
we used to hilariously refer to it as touch of ass
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:07, Reply)

How do you even find out about stuff like that?
It turns out I've lived down the road from full-blown Eastern European slave-brothels on three separate occasions in my life and I only found out when the local paper broke the story when they got raided and shut down.
( Kroney, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:10, Reply)

Yeah, "turns out"

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:11, Reply)

*Palms out shrugging gesture*

( Kroney, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:22, Reply)

that sounds like quite a coincidence

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:11, Reply)

That wherever I go a bunch of human traffickers force doped up Czechs lured over with the promise of a new life
into sleeping with fat bankers?

Yeah, that is kind of a coincidink.
( Kroney, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:19, Reply)

It's really, really fucking obvious.
At 7pm there are a load of ropey looking Slav birds hanging around outside waiting for the start of their shift, and then throughout the night carloads of ugly Pakis go in and out. If you're lucky, at about 7am you can see giant loads of bedding being taken out for laundering.

It's been mentioned in the residents' newsletter repeatedly.

It's so cool!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:13, Reply)

Oh, I never saw any of that.
They were all in Guildford, so you probably had to make an appointment with a secretary first, or something.
( Kroney, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:18, Reply)

Typical busy body residents association.
Is there a discount if you show your residents assoc card?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:19, Reply)

They're so grotty I expect they accept Oyster cards.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:19, Reply)

12 in, 13 out

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:20, Reply)

where do you swipe them?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:25, Reply)

Under their gunts.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:30, Reply)

salt, fish and cheese

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:31, Reply)

Pre-sloppy fuck starter.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:31, Reply)

Go on then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:35, Reply)

*slaps*
I told you not to speak with your mouth full.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:38, Reply)

Across the buttocks

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:31, Reply)

Diagonally opposite the brass house I visit...
there's always some bearded hippy standing in the window of his flat, watching and wanking. It's off putting when I'm busy degrading Slovak whores.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:19, Reply)

Christ,
what have you got to do to degrade a Slovak whore?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:25, Reply)

Call them Croatian

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:28, Reply)

brothels generally make good tenants because they are keen to keep their heads down so they always pay the rent on time
apart from the whole immoral user thing, obviously.....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:26, Reply)

Immoral?
That's rich coming from you.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:31, Reply)

Yeah, I could probably find out
I mean, it's supposed to be so widespread...how hard can it be?

AltAlt: Nuh uh...aggressive agressive. And I can't abide rudeness. I've shouted at people in the street for being rude. I accept this sort of behaviour may make me look like I have mental problems, but there is no excuse for bad manners.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:26, Reply)

It's enough to make you Bust a Bloodvessel

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:37, Reply)

*lips up*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:41, Reply)

Our local paper's classified section is full of adverts for 'massage' in your own home.
I assume that's thinly veiled code for 'dirty fat middle aged prossie'.
I don't know where I would be able to find a male escort hough. Probably easier to just go out and find some drunk bloke with no standards to have disappointing sex with out back by the bins.

Alt: Passive aggressiveness is the last bastion of cunts. Just say what you mean and have a bloody good argument. Grrrr.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:40, Reply)

Go on then I've 5 minutes free.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:44, Reply)

+ and I'm already out back with the bins looking for some "new" clothes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:45, Reply)

That's nice for you.
I hope you're not suggesting a spit-roast?
I do have some standards.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Stay about my bins.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:45, Reply)

What's your local paper? I need a copy for an interesting article......

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:47, Reply)

I can't remember what it's called.
It's one of those free ones they stick through the door on a Wednesday. Weston something or other.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:50, Reply)

Weston Super Mercury

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:52, Reply)

wants to break free

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:12, Reply)

We don't get a local paper anymore.
I used to like going through the free ads looking for the most pointless junk people are trying to sell. Stuff for £3. £3! Why bother?
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:54, Reply)

no wonder you're depressed

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:54, Reply)

It all started with the demise of the Kent Messenger Extra.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:55, Reply)

Yeah, or books for 50p.
Who is going to drive to your house to pend 50p on a book?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:56, Reply)

I really *need* 50p, what can I sell quickly?
I know, I will place an advert in a weekly newspaper.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:57, Reply)

your mum

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:58, Reply)

Hey B3ffy have you heard from Darth? He hasn't topped himself has he?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:54, Reply)

*crosses fingers*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:55, Reply)

As Dr Frog has taken over as the resident sad case, he might feel a bit left out

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:57, Reply)

It's my lot in life.
*sobs, but quietly enough not to disturb anyone*
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:58, Reply)

If I find out that you just need to pull your socks up and grow a pair
I shall tut and shake my head disapprovingly.
( Kroney, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:05, Reply)

he's a doctor, I think he knows what he is talking about

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:07, Reply)

Thanks for your support.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:08, Reply)

Ha! I'm alright really. Please stop worrying.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:09, Reply)

Yes, and no.
HTH
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:56, Reply)

it really doesn't

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:57, Reply)

Well, what can I do to make it up to you?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:59, Reply)

can you naughty step Batterd please

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:00, Reply)

Consider it done.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:01, Reply)

\o/
don't tell him why, just let him stew
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:02, Reply)

Fuck off, prick.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:20, Reply)

Right, shut up now. Cricket's starting.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:00, Reply)

whats the score?#

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:01, Reply)

Alright, Oasis.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:01, Reply)

Hardcore, but you knew that already

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:02, Reply)

0/0 YESSS!!!!!!!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:02, Reply)

\o/

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:02, Reply)

I really fancy Fish & Chips
Where's the best place to get fish & chips where you live? If I ever go to one of them and they're as good as you say I'll treat you to a spam fritter.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:14, Reply)

The Little Fish & Chip Shop in Sandgate.
Three words:
Crinkle cut chips.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:15, Reply)

The Arnside Chip shop
www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant_Review-g1055396-d2699810-Reviews-Arnside_Chip_Shop-Arnside_Cumbria_England.html
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:23, Reply)

Woodford Green
3 words: Fried in dripping.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:27, Reply)

Alexanders just off Finsbury Pavement
homemade pies.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:41, Reply)